Dumb and Dumberest! Share your stupidest garden endeavor.

I think we'll had some of those "money saving ideas" that back-fired!

Hi, all. I've not had any major mirthful mishaps lately. I wasn't able to find much fun in my worst episode of late: stepping on a rusty nail last November and spending over a week in the hospital with a MRSA bacterial infection, then two months of home health care with 24 hour IV antibiotics, resulting in an allergic reaction to the antibiotics that caused "red man syndrome" which equated somewhat to having a chemical peel from the inside out. For those of us with a tendency toward accidents and twisted incidents of misfourtune -- please! PICK UP ANY BOARDS WITH NAILS from your yard! I had no idea such a brief and seemingly insignificant instance of carelessness could result in such a prolonged ordeal!

Coming close recently to a near miss collision while trying to implement a "money saving idea" -- I jumped on the chance to get some sliding glass door panels offered for free on Craig's List. I've used recycled sliding glass door panels in the past to make a nifty greenhouse. Upon arriving at the residence of the person giving away the glass panels, I backed my old '79 Chevy van (that has a 12 ft cargo space and is nearly 20 ft long in total, somewhat similar to driving a Greyhound bus) toward the stack of glass panels. No, it was not the stack of glass panels that I almost hit -- far worse -- I came within a few inches of taking down the supporting aluminum pole for the glass panel donor's RV storage building. Fortunately the man giving away the glass panels, perhaps sensing I was definitely a dufflus, had stayed nearby to monitor my activities. As I backed my Sherman tank-sized van ever closer to the circus tent-sized RV structure, I was carefully watching the side mirror to the right but neglected what might be behind me to the left. The homeowner began to make a series of short burst shouts of "hey, Hey! HEYYYYY!" that increased sequentially in volume and were ever more heavily laden with a desperate gasping guttural fear that finally got my attention just before the rear of the van collided with the RV storage building pole. I can only imagine the scene if I had taken down the pole and the entire 30 ft high aluminum canopy had come crashing down. That would have made the free sliding glass door panels probably some of the most expensive glass outside of the Notre Dame Cathedral windows. LOL

The sliding glass door panels, now that they are safely home, will be used to create another greenhouse. I will keep you informed if that planned project coalesces into some catastrophic karmic event.

Jeremy

Jeremy, its just a matter of TIME before your newest greenhouse creates new drama. Funny for us... not so funny for you!

I've had this on watch ever since I first came across this thread over 3 years ago, I was in stitches with some of the first long and detailed stories! JaxFlaGardener, your dead piano story on Aug. 2 '05 and the wasp story Feb 7, '07 arel my favorites as is WeeNel story on July 12, '07.

I'm glad to see this thread pop up again, but I'm very sorry to hear about your horrendous ordeal, Jeremy! Good grief, we're lucky to have you still among us!

Oh my, the fake cactus post reminded me of my "fool me twice" experience with our hardware store that also happens to sell "plants."
Not really the green thumb at the time, I randomly picked up a potted cactus while shopping for other general house supplies at the store. It was little and rather adorable, with a single bright pink bloom. Determined not to kill it (like all my other house plants RIP) I was planning to be diligent about light and water. Well . . . that cute little pink flower fell right off after the second day. I guess the GLUE didn't hold up. Yes, I bought a cactus with a flower glue-gunned to it. Who does that? Not just me for not seeing it, but them for selling it to me. Sigh.
But it isn't over yet. Come the holidays, I'm at the same store, and I can't help but pick up a little green poinsettia they have on display in the front--you know, the goofy foil-wrapped ones it the plastic pots. Again, water and a good spot in the window, but each day it looks sadder and sadder until finally I just get fed up and pull it out of the pot and . . . . what's this?---NO ROOTS? Argh. Yes, hoodwinked again. They simply chopped off a piece of poinsettia and stuck it in a little pot of dirt, selling it to me for $5.99 plus tax. B@$^@*#$!

Jennie, I hope you took the poinsettia back and complained to the manager.

My DH and I were once duped with the glued-on cactus flowers and returned the plants. I think the growers are to blame for that little trick, and the stores shouldn't buy them. It just seems so dishonest, doesn't it?

I've been enjoying this thread all over again.

you will have to join us on our "Florida Chit Chat" threads and you will see that our Jeremy is still up to things

Sandy

I can't go to the Florida forum! That would be torture!!! It's still snowing here!!! LMBO

LOL

Sorry for the loss of your friend, mornin_gayle. I guess I was lucky that my allergic reaction was not more serious than an agonizing itch with skin peel for about a week.

It is great to see this old thread revived again! We all have had some fantastical adventures! And others new to this thread are certainly welcome to confess your own dumberest epic tale.

Let's see - I'm currently collecting every piece of styrofoam I can find in order to build a Disney World type facade in a corner of my garden. This latest obsession had me going down the highway with two marvelous 6 ft x 6 ft chunks of styrofoam that I salvaged from a machine shop dumpster, then strapped to the top of the Mustang for the few miles home, hoping in the process that I had not invented a new form of ultralight airplane. I nurtured a twig for quite a long time that I took out of a florist arrangement and marveled at how well it came through all seasons, only to realize some several months later that it was a very convincing plastic plant. I was the "winner" of a free, used above ground swimming pool on Craig's List, with the caveat that I had to take it apart and haul it off. Somehow I was not imagining a 30 x 25 ft x 5 ft high pool when I accepted the offer. It took about a week of several hours of work to get the pool into pieces. The fact that I had no idea how the pool was constructed did not help much in the dismantling process. It all went fairly well until it was time to roll up the very long sheet of aluminum siding that supported the pool liner. The aluminum insisted on kinking and buckling rather than pulling out easily in a straight line. I found myself wallowing in the slimy mud pit left by removal of the pool, drenched and covered in black soil and green mold, cursing and wrestling with the aluminum as if it were some elongated wild alligator to be tamed, enough so that the lady of the house became terrified and called her husband home from work to deal with the raving lunatic in the backyard. By the time he arrived, I had finally subdued the metallic beast and had it rolled up and tied securely, ready to be hauled away. The next adventure awaits in trying to reassemble the pool. I imagine that when I take the bungie cord off the aluminum roll, it will probably recoil like a tightly wound spring and fling me across my neighbor's fence.

More to come.....

Jeremy

LOL!!!!!!

I think you would make a better reality show than Snooki!!

man... my life is so boring compared to all that! :-)

Tam

Tam you have not hear have the stories of Jeremy adventures , He live on the other side of the river from me.

Sandy

When we moved into our home my parents had invested 10 years of plants into the back yard. Due to our very young children and busy work schedules we couldn't maintain it's beauty and had to remove much of it. I was so sad as were they. Not 2 years later I aquirred a rare neurological pain syndrome RSD which has changed my life and has given me plenty of time to be in the garden.

Looking back I may have had to reduce and share some of the plants we had but certainly I could have gone about it differently and less hastily. 10 years later I've never been able to rebuild what once was here and I could have learned so much from all the plants Dad left to me.

Now I look carefully at every plant and make sure there is no way I can grow it before it leaves the garden.
A weed is only a misplaced plant."

"What is a weed? I have heard it said that there are sixty definitions. For me, a weed is a plant out of place." -- Donald Culross Peattie

"What is a weed? A weed is a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered." -- Emerson

"Though I do not believe that a plant will spring up where no seed has been, I have great faith in a seed. Convince me that you have a seed there, and I am prepared to expect wonders." -- Henry David Thoreau

Hindsight is 20/20... if you had not developed the health issue, and left all the plants in place, you probably would be wishing you had given the plants away sooner so they could survive at some other household and be appreciated. You did the best you could under the circumstances with the information you had at that time. That IS the best any of us can do.

Speaking of 20/20 hindsight... we sold a couple of items at Dad's estate sale on Saturday that we learned Sunday afternoon that we NEED to have to do the staging of the house when it's ready for sale!! RATS!! LOL

I just learned what a drain field is and where mine is. I also learned what NOT to do to them, which includes much - if any - gardening on top of them. Guess where I put one of my favorite gardens almost 8 years ago? Yup. On top of my drain field. So I am in the process of moving rocks, stepping stones, heavy pots, and any deep rooted plants. I'm feeling mighty lucky that apparently no damage was done. Mighty lucky indeed. (Neither my late husband nor myself knew a thing about septic or drain fields - not even enough to ask questions . . .)

Hi, Whidbey and all. Our water table is so near to the surface of the ground in Florida that most drain fields are built up like "Indian burial mounds," creating minor hillocks in otherwise totally flat terrain that are difficult to blend into the landscape.

Some suggestions for a drain field: Banana trees have very limited, soft root systems and love the nutrient rich soggy soil of a drain field. Fig Trees, also, send most of their roots across the soil surface without going very deep. My Mom had a massive Fig Tree growing at our kitchen window off to the side of the drain field. It always produced more figs than we could eat, and provided plenty of food for fruit-loving birds. But a "dumberest" mistake to avoid is, don't put a fig tree too near a house foundation or the fig roots may jack up the house and destroy the foundation.

Jeremy