Dumb and Dumberest! Share your stupidest garden endeavor.

My mishaps are a lot tamer than some of you. Mine are strictly of the gardening mistakes type. I am forever trying to push the envelope in getting "sun" plants to bloom in part-shade. Mostly it's a failure each time, but iris can take a lot more sun than I thought and so can daisies.
My last mishap was the damage done by some fertilizer. it was in a bag, in a bucket and I left it out and rain got in it. In trying to move it and set it down near some azaleas that I planned to give a soggy handfull or 2, I dribbled the bag over some creeping phlox. Next day, the phlox was burned to crisp exactly where the dribble line went. Well, Duh! All I have to do was water it in and things would have been fine. Hope the azaleas are ok.

Woodspirit - my mom has a dead spot in her yard where she loaded the spreader with fertilizer. Apparently
she forgot to check that it was closed. So it dumped a big amount right in the spot where it was sitting. Its
literally been years and that spot just won't grow grass (or weeds).

Tam

LOL, she's going to have to dig that dirt out and replace it. I know my spousal unit has let oil overflow onto the lawn before and that was a serious dead spot.

Well I don't know if this fits but.... I have a beautiful Japanese Maple that Darius gave me a couple of years ago. Anyway, it's been in a pot up until a couple of weeks ago.

Here's the dumb part!! In my head I've been saying 'Red Maple' instead of 'Japanese Maple.' Because of that I planted it in a high wind and high sun area. DOH!! WHY DID I DO THAT??????????? I KNEW it wasn't a Red Maple!!! Anyway, once it cools off this afternoon I am moving it to the back yard where it will be more protected. No harm done - it's leafing out beautifully now but I want to move it before it gets hot. My brain just insisted that it was going there and insisted it was a red...

Nicole

Can you believe how warm it was today? Up here at 3200 feet we rarely get over 80 deg. but it was 81 today. Still, I got a lot done. Had to water a lot of things as we are in a dry spring.

it so nice to sit back and read all the things we do in the name of gardening. So glad we can laugh at ourselves and share our stories.

I seem to burn things with fertilizer. Year before last I devastated a row of pinks. The next year they came back fairly well. This winter they were devastated by voles. I have been spoon-feeding rat poison way down the vole holes with an iced tea spoon.

Stupid story or stupid garden story? lol

I would say my stupidest garden thing I have done is happening right now. My son wanted to try and grow heirloom tomatoes from seed, so I thought what the heck. I won 15 different varieties, 3 seeds each on ebay for $1.00. I REALLY did not expect them to sprout...well, they have...sigh and they are doing well.

I am still not sure how many will make it, but besides those we already have 3 tomato plants and a bunch of other veggies...in a house where I am mainly the only one that likes it all and I am one of those people that if I am going to do something, I try to do it right...so what am I doing with all the extra produce? WHo knows....

You could take it to a soup kitchen or even to your church if they have a pantry for the poor.

Hap

Well,

I know my mom will take some, and we have to rehabilitation centers right around the corner. People even park on our street for it. I think I will set up a table and let people take what they want. I don't have the ability to get to the foodbanks in town, the ones I know of are an hour away with traffic. So, I will take them to the two homes, maybe put an ad on CL, give to my neighbors...we will see. lol

You are a GOOD person.....

There was a time (a long time ago), I was homeless, and living the best I could at the moment, A single tomato would have been a heaven sent fortune.

Now, I am always thankful for the bounty of the earth I have received, and living in a more comfortable atmosphere, need to think back too when times were not so.

You know what's weird, Dyson? I called my county's homeless shelter and asked them if they accepted garden donations (I'm growing extra veggies this year), and the girl made some comment about how all their food is prepared offsite. I thought that was pretty odd that a place would turn down garden fresh tomatoes, cukes, etc. My other thought was to donate to our local senior center, since a lot of older people can no longer garden and would probably love fresh veggies. Tamara

5girl - there are people in need, though the local government may not be able to direct what you have extra to those that need it, They are there, You are there.

We are all here.

The government can be best illustrated by looking at the Katrina responce.???

probably the homelss shelter does not have a regular kitchen nor can afford to pay a cook. Our senior center has all the meals catered in by the hospital. However, they do buy a few treats or folks bring them in and those are shared. They also distribute emergency boxes of food for days the electricity may be out or other natural disaster. They have also given away night lites, red cross emergency kits, cell phone that only work to call the Sheriff's dept. in an emergency, and tomato plants from the Cooperative extension service. But neither the right kitchen facilities nor the cook to prepare meals on site.

I was the chef at the only soup kitchen in Ft. Lauderdale for 8 years. Any produce was a gift from heaven.

Hap

I'm sure if I walk in there with a big bag of luscious tomatoes, cukes, peppers, and eggplants they won't turn them down. :-) Tamara

If your local shelters cannot use it, try your local churches or even mobile home parks for the elderly and such. I am sure there are plenty of oldr people who would LOVE to get heirloom veggies that they can no longer handle to grow.

I did just realize there is a church around the corner that saved my butt for 2 years, years ago when I had 4 babies at home and a husband in school. They feed less people and have more control over the boxes. They don't prepack, many larger food banks do things in bulk and veggies get destroyed. Honestly, I NEVER got veggies we could actually use, they all got smashed or beat up terribly by the heat by the time they got in our home. Small churches will probably have better luck....

If I have a good crop of things, I think I will call them, they are local enough to me that it won't take hours I don't have to make the trips.

Of course I am counting my chickens bfore they hatch. But so far so good and the last time I grew tomatoes they were everywhere.....we will see. lol

Happy, was that directed at me? If so, thank you......

No Giddy, it was meant for everyone to be aware of the needs of so many people.

I still am in contact with the director of the soup kitchen and she told me last week that things are getting very bad. More people coming in for " food baskets" and also because of the money crunch, there are less donations. It's a LOSE-LOSE situation and she is almost desperate.

Also to mention clothing. The homeless do not have closets or washers/driers. The wear what they have on and then throw it away. How much would you like to carry around in your back pack or a plastic baggie?

Hap

Happy1
I see that you are in Fort Lauderdale. Have your local soup kitchen contact the local Whole Foods Market. Each store has someone to coordinate community donations. I work at one of our larger stores. We have 1//2 dozen churches and food pantry's coming. We have daily pickups. If the soup kitchen is having troubles other than materials sourcing--have them ask about 5% day and ask if any of their team members might be interested in volunteering at the soup kitchen. If the soup kitchen is church based they might not be able to help with some projects.

At the very least it wouldn't hurt to make a phone call.
Good Luck
zaphron2

Sweetheat zaphron,

Thank you so much for the info. The director is a woman that is up on everything, and even before they happen, I think. LOL

She does take advantage of them and we do have our 5% days.

Thanks so much for taking the time to forward the info. You're a doll.

Hap

OMG! I'm dying here! Jeremy, the piano fiasco just about did me in. Ok, I'm wiping the tears away and here's my tale:

I have a wasp phobia. I seem to be a wasp magnet. They seem to sense my innate horror of them and whenever I venture into the yard, they gather with their wasp buddies to have a little fun with me. "Come on guys, let's mess with Sasquatch!" So, on any particular day, I can be observed engaging in various interesting contortions, unexpected lightning speed sprints, etc., often accompanied by imaginative and colorful language.

On one occasion I decided to do DH a favor and mow the front yard. We live in a semi rural area and the front of our house faces a highway well traveled by by the local community. I'm on the riding mower and I'm thinking "Don't get too close to that guy wire with the little covered metal thingy because you KNOW that looks like the perfect place for a wasp nest". Next thing I know, I HIT the thing. Events then took on a kind of slow motion surreal quality. For a about a second I was paralyzed with horror. Then, survival instinct kicked in. With the mower firmly wedged against the guy wire thingy but still running, I swan dived off the mower, did a perfect head over heels roll, came to my feet like an Olympic gymnast and probably broke a record sprinting like mad for the door. I am proud to say that I didn't even get stung once! I couldn't bring myself to go back out to the mower and turn it off. DH comes in a little while later: "Hon, what's up with the mower?" This event also provided entertainment for many friends and neighbors who happended to be traveling by at the time. I've found that, after a while, you really do get used to the odd looks and muffled whispers.

LOL, but the your last line was the funniest. Hit too close to home I guess.
I know what you mean about the hornets/wasps. I looked out the back door the other day and one came at me and hit the window with such force I thought it should have died, but it just crawled around and looked at me. Good thing the glass was between us. I went in a made a "waspinator", it sort of helps. It is a gray bag that looks like a paper nest. It keeps them away (like deck or something).
I no longer wonder about odd looks, I just smile.

Thanks, Ladibug, for sharing your wasp adventure! I, too, am often received with "odd lucks and muffled whispers," but I take it as a sign that I am accomplishing my goal of keeping everyone completely baffled and just a wee bit wary. I get away with a lot more of my "eccentricities" that way. LOL

Jeremy

Years ago when I was a freshman in college I was invited to a fraternity party on the lake by one of the handsomest guys I had ever seen. I spent the morning at the beauty salon getting my hair styled and my nails manicured (including toenails), and then went back to the dorm to get dressed. Cost: two weeks allowance. After trying everything on in my closet I decided to dress in white slacks, white sandals, and a white top as I already had the beginnings of a good tan. It obviously was my intent to make a good impression.

As soon as we arrived at the lake my date opened the car door for me and I literally fell into his arms having caught my heel in his car mat. After recovering my composure, I strutted down pier carrying the obligatory picnic basket. Before I reached the end of the pier, I glanced back to make sure he was watching and walked right off the end of the pier.

Priceless........!!!

LOL : )

I bet that guy tells that story every chance he gets. : ) Sounds like something that would happen to me.

When I was at my HS graduation, we were all seated in some kind of removeable grandstands. It had a plank you had to walk down, with little boards so you wouldn't slide and fall. Well, they called my name and I walked down the aisle in my lil heels, all prissy like, and turned to go down the plank, and preceded to skate all the way down to the bottom. I heard the whole stadium gasp. I didn't fall though. : ) I straighten up, grabbed my composer, and limped to the podium with a broken heel. My classmates tho, were all laughing hysterically.
Ole meanies.

Kyjoy, You must have gotten a pretty good allowance. Sounds like a pricey day at the spa. So, did walking off the pier impress this guy? I wanted the story to end to say that he married you.
Blue, how did you not fall. Sounds like you recovered well.
This thread is so funny, because we see ourself in every story!

Helllllooooo JEREMY...!!!!

LONG TIME NO HEAR!

Hap

Wow! Hiliarious is all I can say from reading everyone's post.
I have a brief tale here:
Two weekends ago here in Hot & Humid Sunny Florida, My DD Decides she will help me blow off Live Oak Blossoms off the roof of the house.
Ok, I agree, so up the ladder we go with a blower, rake & Broom. Rake to rake them towrads the pitch of the house , blower to blow them over to the opposite (didn't want the blossoms in my beds) & the broom to brush the grates of the gutters.
Here we are working along when up the ladder comes my 8 yr old. grandson. So I set down on the roof with him, we are talking about how pretty the view of the lake is from the roof. My DD is using the blower so its hard to hear.
Next thing you know my Boxer/American Staffshire Terrier) has climbed up the ladder & joined us on the roof.
I laughed so hard tears just ran down my face. My DD went down the ladder to get the camera for proof he was on the roof.
We waited til my DH came home from work to help us get the dog down. I used a ski vest & rope to make a harness & to safely lower him to the ground. Needless to say he now has to be kenneled when the ladders are out.
Here's a pic.

:) Are you sure your dog isn't also part cat???

My old pit bull does the same thing. You can't leave a ladder on the house or he will be walking on the roof.

He also climbs my magnolia tree to try to get a squirrel or a lizard. The first time I saw him, I just happened to be looking out the window, and all of a sudden I see a dog in mid air. He can climb up, but he can't climb down,.....he jumps. For awhile I thought I was gonna have to get a parachute for him.

Finally, over the years he has chewed all the lower limbs off the Magnolia, and now he can't climb it. : )

Crazy dog.


This message was edited Jun 7, 2007 2:30 PM

Biv,
He certainly thinks he is something. He has something against cats though. has to stay up under me all the time when I am outside.
Shell

Blue,
I am glad I am not alone with ladder climber..lol
Your dog sounds really special too.
Maybe you should patent Dog Parachutes..:) I'll buy of you do..lol

Can I BE any more stupid? I put the sprinkler on this afternoon, without setting the timer, and forgot all about it! DH just found it on...it's been on for over 7 hours!!! The ground is totally flooded in that area. Hope I didn't kill anything. :-P Tamara

Well, Tamara, I have to admit to the same mistake this week -- a very costly mistake since I'm currently using city water at the price of about a penny a drop because my irrigation pump for well water currently has an electrical problem. And to make it more dumb, I have several of the auto-timers that cut the tap water off after an hour or so of watering, but never get around to screwing them onto the hose bibs. The only difference with your situation is that here in Northeast Florida our soil is so sandy that all the water drains through and rarely puddles, so no flooding here. I dread to see this month's water bill, plus I have the guilt of knowing I wasted water during a dry period. I will resolve to hook up the water timers (available for a few dollars at most garden centers) to avoid this situation again!

Jeremy

Fortunately, everything seems okay, so far. Glad it was in the hosta bed! They don't seem to mind lots of water. Tamara

Tamara - My DH turned on the sprinkler in the afternoon and forgot.
The next day I asked him if he noticed that the water pressure was down.
I think it was on for almost a full 24hrs. Thankfully we use spring water.
(this was a few years ago).
Tam

WOW! Hope your plants were thirsty. ;-) Tamara

They sure weren't thirsty after the drink they got that day!

It was my vegatable garden and everything was fine.

Tam