More on Member feedback ratings

I think newbies are often viewed with a little more suspicion because there have been those who have signed on for a year, ripped people off right and left, and then disappeared (or signed on with another user name). Those newbies who are less than honest are rarely here for very long, but they are here long enough to make it hard for all the other newbies.

Ok, I've set back & watched this thread long enuff.. Here's my 2 cent's


I don't get the problem here...Maybe I'm just to dence but, It seems to me if your a newbie or a trader with a past history of problems...

Just keep it simple and send your part of the trade out first..Sounds easy huh?...So why all the yada yada? This is Dave's Garden..NOT Dave's Kindergarden!....Grow up folks!


My Grandpaw always said 'Action's speak louder than Words'

Hugs, Carol :-)

Another Newbie here! I just did my first trade this week. Shipped some Taro and seeds all the way to CA! Also had a couple of people request some seeds from me that as soon as they are ready (still flowering) they will be shipped out! I look forward to trading! I hope that if I ever send a trade that's; lost, dead, crushed, etc. I will be made aware so I can send replacements - after all, for the most part we are not talking about huge sums of money here! But over time we can each save each other tons and acquire plants/seeds our local nurseries haven't even heard of!

Well said, ncgardenaddict.

Ok - thanks for your help all. *hugs* ~Jilly

It's a pretty old subject but.... I really like the way the feedback system has worked out! I find it really helpful and most people are pretty honest. I think it has provided the incentive for better trades.

I really like the new feature, if we can still call it new. And I use it both ways, to post good and bad. And may I add I have only posted 2 negatives, But I make sure I am doing the right thing before I do and that I have exausted my efforts to resolve an issue first. I think that will be a key to making this work for all........

I have made more friends and meet more folks since I have stared to trade again. I had almost forgotten how much fun it was.
Oh and just a MG for yall......this morning... :o)

JMO........

:o)
Dee

First of all, I would like to say.....I think Dave is the bee's knees.....
Everything he has done for this site has been in the best interest of “US” the members.
Every addition that has been made, has been an improvement, although, I havent had time to check this new feature, I am sure it is intended to help us out.
Dave and his team have created the absolute best gardening site in the universe!!!!!
Just imagine, I left my home in the US where I had been involved in this wonderful network of gardeners....I had my fair share of trades, geezzz I remember digging up plants at midnight trying to keep ahead of the schedule, participated in co-ops, made tons and tons of friends. had mini round ups in Vancouver, WAshington, down in Oregon. basically met some of the most wonderful people in the world. Here I am half a world away, homesick, missing my own country, my own people, my garden, familiar faces. I log on here, when it is the middle of the night there in the US, and I catch up with news of "the old country" I share the same laughs, the same sadness, that you all do. And sometimes if I am lucky, I can catch the chat and actually have a dialogue with my old friends.
I am happy when a member's baby has been delivered safely, I am sad when a member has lost a prized plant, I laugh at the silly jokes, I tease my taste buds in the recipe forum where I read recipes for good old fashion american dishes, I keep my diet in check when I visit the health forum and I love watching my friends gardens grow and marvel at the beauty that everyone has created.
I was even keeping track of what was going on with Survivor in the media forum.
It's like I spend a half an hour on Dave's and I feel like I went back home.
Sometimes, I get so wrapped up in it that I completely forget that I am so far away.
I do miss the trading, I miss not being able to participate in any of the round ups, but, when I log on It’s like a trip home, less the 24 hour flight, the jet lag, etc.,
The only difference now is that I cant spend as much time on Dave’s, I miss the daily interaction I use to have with my friends here. But, I still try to keep up with what’s going on here.
Keep up the good work Dave et all, you are my heroes!!!!

Pebble that is a most beautiful testimony.....I think it sums up how most of us feel about Dave, his staff, and this wonderful community called "Dave's Garden"!!! Thank you for wording how we feel in our hearts. We do miss you in our chats too. Jo

Dave I love you too, you have been fair, that is important, I think I feel like a mother hen and want to protect Dave's Garden, I don't want it to get like other sites, which are so nasty they scare off people to come to your site. You are doing a great job ,and your Terry is great, she is there for all of us, mainly I respect you both.
Expect a box soon, Norma

Dave, great site and splendid work. Nice people.

Personally, I disagree with the idea of feedback. I agree with Spike in this respect. It can be really, really subjective. I've waited months for trades. I've got bigger things than seeds to worry about. Will I get run over by a truck on the way to work tommorow? What percentage of the GNP is the trade deficit? Why is the new season of the Chapelle show not starting until January? What should I have for lunch on Tuesday?

I yearn to live a life where the most distressing thing in it is a seed trade that's late or will never arrive. Jeez. THEY'RE JUST SEEDS. If you're trading seeds...you have to be trading a heck of a lot to lose more than .60 per trade. If you're trading plants...wait until you receive postage. Simple. Keep track of people who stiff you. don't trade with them again. Very simple. No need for e-bayness. I got ripped off in a seed trade with a minister once, LOL!

People tend to form cliques. If you ain't in with the in crowd.......membership on a secretly shared "bad trader list" is EASY to come by. Seen it happen on another certain website. Many, many, many times.

I haven't traded here yet, but I won't/don't leave feedback. If someone rips me off..it's ON THEM, and it will come back to bite them in the behind, in the way that stuff like that usually does. Anyone like native plants? April.

Well, yeah seeds and plants are sometimes taken too seriously on here and other sites, but it really stings when you get taken advantage of considering costs and time. Like if I were to send off a rare orchid that cost a bundle, that I put a bundle into to propagate and it took years for the process, I would be just slightly miffed.

But I do think that some times we forget that things come before trades and we take mistakes personally and jump the gun sometimes too soon or often. I have before, it's so easy to get caught up in it.

I don't think anyone ever posted a concern about the dollar-value of anything they lost in a bad trade.

Dave's Garden is about ethic and that's why feedback was instituted here, IMHO. Dishonesty and deception are not tolerated; it's that simple.

Well, I personally haven't seen any 'cliques' in Dave's Garden. Just a lot of good friends. If someone doesn't feel welcome here, it's their own fault for not posting much. I've made some friends here quite quickly and it had nothing to do with being in a clique. I've posted a lot and participated, held up my end of trades and I feel like I'm part of the family. I understand that 'cliques' are quite common in another gardening site.

As for the feedback issue. I like Weezingreen's philosophy. Trade with everybody, even non-subscribers, and if you get bit, don't trade with them anymore. It's that simple. As far as I can tell, the only negatives that have been posted are the ones that have waited MONTHS for their end of the trade. There is NO excuse for that, no matter how bad things in life are. And I personally like the 'heads up' that a negative feedback presents. For the most part, I don't even think to check for feedback before trading with someone. That usually gets around in the forums, but not always. I did see one last night that was pretty bad, and I hadn't heard anything about it.

I admit it...I'm in a "clique"....I call it Dave's Garden! Want in??Jo

Cherishlife

"If someone doesn't feel welcome here, it's their own fault for not posting much."

I thoroughly disagree, why should the welcome only be extended to people who post a lot?

edited out and to add

Politeness costs nothing but a little time, if someone feels included they respond better than if they are left out.

This message was edited Oct 17, 2004 2:50 PM

I just happened upon this, and you now me - I had to add my 2 cents... If we can add feedback to Dave, why shouldn't he be able to add it re: his trades - duh!

I like the feature alot and have seen very little "bad press", and I like reading and making comments. Some people have been incredibly generous with me, and I like being able to thank them. I am going to have a killer garden this year, and it's ALL because of DG!

Baa, I don't think that was quite how that was meant. It simply helps someone get to know you better when you post and chat in the different forums. Someone has an opportunity to "meet" you as more than a one-dimensional gardener. As many of us have seen at the other place, being the most prolific poster does NOT necessarily make you the most welcome! Just the biggest bully on the block!

Terre_

Thanks for your reply and explanation. I've been here since spring 2001 and I don't post that much these days yet there are times I feel unwelcome and from a recent thread others do too. I give my time and effort as much as I possibly can, I find it very disheartening that people should think the unwelcome feeling is entriely my fault.

I've been to the other place and seen the general style and mood, I don't want to see it happening here.

Not to get too far afield from the topic, but I have to agree with Baa. The atmoshpere here is usually warm and welcoming for those of us that have been here a long time OR those who are naturally gregarious (the blessed people who have never met a stranger ;o) But clique-ish behavior is a natural tendency - many of us do it without realizing that our chit-chat and inside jokes can make a newcomer feel very unwelcome (it's one of the main atmospheric issues that turned me off the "other" gardening site.)

So should all newcomers be natural-born extroverts to feel welcome here? I sure hope not! I really appreciate what Smiln32 and others do to send a personal welcome to each new member. (And they could ALWAYS use more help, hint, hint.)

I know if I were to "walk" into a discusion forum of hundreds (thousands?) of long-time members, I'd be very grateful for a few people to take the time to acknowledge my presence. It'd help me to gain confidence to plunge in, and not feel it's entirely up to me to sink or swim in a sea of strangers (who were getting along just fine before I arrived, and won't miss me when I finally take the hint and leave.)

I guess I must have been one of the natural born extroverts when I joined back in February of 2002. I was so pleased to find this place and so excited to share everything I knew and to ask every question I could think of, that I am surprised Dave didn't refund my subscription and tell me to pick up my trowel and go home!

I had never participated in forums before, so I had no etiquette what-so-ever, so I appreciate everyone's patience. I hijacked threads, unwittingly, and 'butted in' inappropriately on serious discussions more time than I'd like to admit. When potentially dangerous subjects were discussed, I was right in there posting, wading up to my virtual neck in muck! Ah, yes... those were the good old days!

Well, I'm a bit smarter now... yes, I actually WAS worse back then! I actually start posts, then delete them on second thought. Whereas some folks have to talk themselves into posting, I have to talk myself out of it. We all have our own devils to deal with, I guess.

The only suggestion I can make to those that feel ignored is that, should it be the case, it may not be that you are being snubbed... it may just mean that two or three posters have made some connection that excludes anyone else for that particular time. Old member or new member, I guess we've all run into that. In real conversation it would be called 'not being able to get a word in edgewise'. It's not personal... it's not intentional. If by chance, it is, just move on over to another thread and you'll find someone who welcomes you.

I think one of the nicest things I have seen about DG is the people here may be rude by accident or perception, but rarely do you see it done deliberately. As the unanimously elected queen of "foot-in-mouth" disease, I find the overall attitude here to be nonjudgemental, and forgiving. Everyone seems to realize that the written word doesn't always convey what was meant. And as a sometimes frequent and sometimes MIA poster, I haven't been made to feel unwelcome, and certainly wouldn't want to convey that to anyone else.

Baa, have you checked out the nightowls thread in Jokes? That group goes out of their way to share, support, and absolutely not ignore anyone!

I'm new here, but I have never felt uncomfortable or unwelcomed here. In fact, I think you "old-timers" have gone out of your way to make me feel like my input is welcomed. Lord knows I've messed up a time or 2, diverting topics, but I've never been put down...I LOVE IT HERE! People should try not t be too thin-skinned. Gardening (and DG) is for RELAXING!

So, to anyone who's newer than me...WELCOME! (I'll put on a pot of coffee!)

Sequee....could you make that hot tea for me, please. Jo

Sequee... fresh-ground would be nice... any snackies??

I'll whip up a coffee cake and bring it along. Black coffee for me.

Black for me, too.

Joan honey...you KNOW I need chocolate in that coffee cake!! Jo

Okay, I'm adding chocolate chips to it now. Just for you Jo!

Is this a inside joke? I feel left out now. JK!

Nope, everyone is welcome and encouraged to come, Captain. How do you like your coffee? Or maybe join Jo in a cup of tea?

I'd like my cup of sugar with a little coffee please. Lol. Just like Starbucks.

oh My there goes my diet. sugar and cream please.

I have always tried to respond to postings by both old and new members with equal enthusiasm. As a result I have mostly felt accepted and comfortable here. Do I have a clique? Not that I am aware of.
I have gotten to know a few people here better than others because of their posts.

I have found a couple of folks that for reasons best not discussed, have hurt my feelings and or made me very angry. My response to these was direct and immediate. I have tried to apologize when I have caused ill feelings and I forgave and forgot the problems with those who made amends or appologized. I do not respond to posts from those who have not bothered to correct the problems. I guess you could say I put them on my own personal ignore list. I have not, nor will I ever, try to pass my grieviances with these people on to other members. Each person here must be allowed to freely interact without predjudice whether justified in my own mind or not.

But the fact that I or anyone else does not respond to each and every post we read does not mean we are snubbing you! It means we had nothing to contribute or simply were in a quiet mood at that time. I have had posts that no one replied to. Does that mean I am not an accepted member here? Am I not invited into "the Clique"? Should I feel hurt and shut out because of it? I sure hope not because I just thought it meant no one had any comments and the thread died into the archives in the natural order of things! Overall, I admit to having 3 persons that I choose to ignore here. Who they are is not relevant to anyone but me. (I seriously doubt they care) If I am in turn being ignored I am in blessed ignorance of it!

If there is a "clique" athmosphere here at all it is in the natural gathering of people with similar interests banding together in certain forums. I am a virtual stranger to many members who are very active in the Brugmansia forums. This is not because they snub me or I them. It is because I like Brugs but do not share their enthusiasm.

I do peek in there sometimes and find it interesting reading but only on very rare occasions have I posted. What would I contribute? I have tried Brugs once and killed the poor thing before it ever had a chance! I have no room for Brugs now so my interest is naturally reduced. So other than an occasional compliment on a lovely picture I have nothing to contribute.

Does that make them a clique? I don't think so! I rather hope that should circumstances change and I developed a need for more knowledge in that area were to change, that these wonderful people would openly accept me and my questions into their forum.

Well said Zany. I've had my feelings hurt a few times also, once to the point of wanting to leave DG, but I kept plugging on and got over it. I think with this many people interacting, hurt feelings are bound to happen sometimes. It happens at office gatherings and family gatherings, so it's going to happen here as well. Add in the fact that we aren't face to face and can't read emotions into typing, that compounds the chances for misunderstandings. I choose to forgive and give them the benefit of the doubt, and realize that I'm probabaly the only one that's hurt or even knows I'm hurt.

Would you like coffee or tea? Cream or sugar?

Tea for me! Sweet and with lots of ice! I fear I am an ice teaholic!

Sequee, I may very well be "newer" than you, just active about 2 weeks on the site. Appreciated the eye-opening "awareness" of cliques. Never had a web garden home before, don't want to give wrong impressions of clique-i-ness :) I admit, I have looked around the site for members that seem to be extra friendly AND informative. Is that a popularity contest? I hope not. :) giggle - I'm wanting to be a friend, fellow gardener, and also maybe a little bit of a mentoree...if that's a word. 3 years into gardening as a serious hobby and LOTS of planting to do at new house. So HELLO everyone :) Great to meet you, old, new, greenthumb, or struggling w/ houseplants! :)

Hugahosta, I love that name! With that attitude you will make many new friends here! I hope you find all the garden to be welcoming and friendly. This really is a great group and the knowledge of the collective membership is awesome! If you have 3 years gardening under your belt you will no doubt have a great deal to share with us as we learn from each other.

::Another Ohio member, too:: happy dance.

Zanymuse, your post above really summed up my feelings, too. I am a chronic thread watcher and some days barely catch up on my watched threads, let alone read and comment in new threads. Like in routine group conversations, some days you have something to contribute, and some days you just listen. It's rarely anything premeditated and even more rarely a snub.

I didn't post above to say love me I'm a delicate, sensitive little flower because that's not true in the slightest and as a point of fact, for those who intentionally ignore me personally, I couldn't give two hoots, that's their problem not mine and I don't ignore them if they post a question I can help with, but I might not try to make conversation with them on a daily basis! I assure you that if I felt ignored to an uncomfortable degree, I wouldn't be here. I was merely pointing out that it does happen, unintentionally and intentionally and it's unpleasant either way. I don't recall ever saying that every post needs to be answered every single time.

Several subscribers I've chatted to via the PDB helpdesk and then in private email have revealed that they are upset that they have posted 4-5 times and no-one has replied to any of their postings and felt that this was an unfriendly site, (surely out of 4-5 at least 2 might have been answered) ... often this is just due to a couple of questions in the wrong place, sometimes they get lost in the middle of a thread where a conversation is going on between established friends. All they need is a little direction if they are in the wrong forum, something like, you might like to try the ****** forum for this one rather than leave them with no reply at all. The work that Smilin32, Gardenwife and others here do is invaluable to a new member but they can't be everywhere, it just takes a little time and thought to wonder why a new thread hasn't been answered or spot an unfamiliar name in a thread.

People are always going to slip through the net but if we try and keep a look out for them, perhaps we can reduce that. There are always going to be people who don't like another member for one reason or another, doesn't even have to be a big reason, that's fine it's just human nature. I believe we all have a social responsibility to one another regardless of personal opinions. I feel that sometimes we just need a little reminder of the ethos of DG, especially in the vein of 'Do unto others ...' and 'Turn the other cheek'. Regardless of personal belief, these are good social rules to try to live by :)