Best/Worse/What did I learn today? Chat with friends old/new, all welcome!

Moved us over from here

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1449618/

Thanks for the new room!

Hadn't realized how many posts were on the previous thread..

Made an executive decision, town can wait till later. If I find some energy just maybe I will put the ristmas quilt on the frame or might just put my feet up 😉

Putting your feet up sounds like a great idea!!!!

Thanks again everyone for your caring support. You can't know how much it means just to know you care. Norm says hello and thank you to each of you as well.....

Betty when you say 'go to town' what is the town you go to ?

*BIG hugs* Norm & Barb - absolutely inexcusable of his boss to not even care if he's injured.... Well, unemployment is something, and if it can get him through to retirement (and as has been said - get extensions?) it would be awesome!

Betty - your quilt is wonderful!

Today is patching & painting day in our household. All those cracks in the drywall from the move - well, we're really getting them patched today, and I'm repainting the kitchen. It's always been a dove grey, and I'm tired of it. Now that it had to be patched, now's the time to paint it - sunny yellow! Our Home Hardware sells mistint paint for $10/gallon & I saw the prettiest yellow, so got it! It's going to brighten up our kitchen. Fresh paint always cheers me up (not that I needed cheering up, I'm really happy with our home now). Now, if I can only get it all organized lol Every project we have to do makes it more disorganized as we pull things away to do the next "project" lol

Barb and Norm, hugs and prayers. At 63 Norm could take SS early but it forever reduces your monthly benefits AND no medical insurance until you reach the full retirement age. It's the medical insurance that keeps me from even looking at the benefit dollar amount.

I stopped working on the sewing room yesterday and actually spent an hour SEWING. used the "new machine" and boy, I can really tell how wore out my old machine is. It will take some getting used to, the features are very different and I want to get a manual to it so I can study up on it.

Still a lot of work to do in the sewing room but it's coming along. More sorting and donating to do.

Good for you, Pat! You're working really hard on your sewing room, I can tell, and you'll enjoy it all the more when it's done :-)

Morning all,

Sharon is coming this morning, should be here about 9a.m.
Bringing her ex who will be bored to death but I've a few 'to do's' fir him should he really get bored. One of the projects is hanging a peg board which I don't have so going to town (Midland it is Dianne) less than 10 minutes away, I can pick up timmies for treats while I'm at it.

Still odds and ends to do Susan but just think all will be done when Susan gets there and what a difference she will see..bet bob is looking forward to the end of it.

Pat exciting for you to finally be able to sew..what kind is your new machine? You deserve a break...how is hubby doing?

Barb you have no idea how often you and Norm are on my mind..Lord listens to prayers and so not a worry!

Best I get to Home Depot and Home before sharon and don get here.

Norm has a mandatory meeting at unemployment today. Hopefully we will learn what kind of benefit he is entitled to and when it will start. So far, we are doing okay.
I worked on my quilt for a while yesterday and then switched to the cat. I am anxious to finish this page of pattern and be at the half way point....
Glad to hear you are feeling better Betty. And I'm so happy that you got to sew Pat!! Your guest will be there soon Susan and a cheery yellow kitchen sounds wonderful. How are the renovations coming along Dianne?
Waving to all ~~~~~~

Hopefully once he explains the accident and how inconsiderate the firm was he won't be penalized and benefits will start right away Barb,still a worry though!

Went to town, just coming out of Walmart and the sky opened, never saw so much rain...did pick up timmies though so all is well.

Suzanne just called, her daughter's sitter cancelled today, Suzanne has to be in Toronto this afternoon so leaving at 11am and likely home around 4 so I'm sitting Amelia who is 4, ought to be fun, Suzanne and don are coming, Amelia amd likely John and Darlene..full house

Best I go have my timmies coffee

Here's hoping Norm's benefits start right away.
Betty - you don't have any dizzy spells while driving - thinking of the past concussion.

Today's another patching / painting day. Found that the kitchen window had a lot of buckling & bubbling in the corner of the trim, so my DH removed the trim, cut out the drywall & replaced it with plywood. Hopefully that's the reason we're getting leaks there, and this is now fixed?!?!?! It's really become a problem. He's been out many times, on the roof, to find out & fix the problem, and each time we think it's been fixed, only to find it isn't.
I like the cheery yellow in the kitchen - much nicer than grey, for sure.
Hot day today, so far - temps are climbing. Any time I spend outside, I work in the shade and have a hat. Sun is strong.........

Hope you've got the problem fixed susan, can do major damage and what is worse mood in the walls..let's hope this is a final fix..if you've the rain we have it's not a wonder there are leaks.

Sharon and don just left, Amelia is with me, gave her the Dollie blanket and clothes I made, she loved it...think listening to grown ups has tired her out lol. Suzanne called, seems highway 400 is bumper to bumper so she won't be here for some time, listenening to little one yawn and out her head down, maybe I will do same

My pretty rose today - 2nd bloom!

this evening was NOT a stellar one at our house. Ben's memory issues are enough to drive me crazy. He helped me make the grocery list, KNEW I was going to the store after work and still sends the caregiver to the store and buys bananas and muffins and more... ARRGGhhhh...
We didn't even get to sleep in the freshly made bed with clean linens before I had to strip and put different sheets on bed. Cleaning up messes is NOT my strong suit. It is hard for me to understand how someone can have an "accident" and not know it.... and therefore get it everywhere.

my tummy is upset and it will be a while before I can settle down and sleep.

Taking a nap with Amelia sounds like a great idea Betty.

Barb, let us know the outcome. It would make NO sense to me for Norm to be penalized, He was fired, he did not do anything "wrong". Ageism is a terrible thing. i count my lucky stars that in my field age isn't much of a barrier.

Huskavar Designer 1, it is an embroidery machine as well but I am not that 'advanced' yet! I was given it several months ago and a friend had it serviced for me so it runs like a champ. I was carefully sewing welted seams on jeans together (for re purposed jeans into doll clothes) and it never missed a beat.

*Hugs* Pat - I feel for you, re: Ben & his issues. I don't know how I'd handle it, and you're doing a stevedore's job. Bless your heart - you're doing your best and can't expect any more than that of yourself. I can well understand that your tummy's upset - it's called STRESS! Take care of yourself as well as Ben, please.
Lucky you, to have an embroidery machine.

Morning all,

Susan lovely rose, will try and get out in one of my flattened flower beds and take photo of my roses, torrential rain all week just about did my gardens in.

Pat, I just know I would be able to do what you are doing, cleaning up messes isn't in my forte although I guess when a love one needs your help you find the strength to do it. Don't be hard on yourself that you find some days worse than others, you are human...

Oh lucky you, that is a great machine. As for the embroidery part you'll soon catch on to it. I haven't used mine in about 3 months and almost sure I've forgotten how to change regular online patterns into vp3 format..need inukshuck for Sharon's projects so should try.

Not suppose to rain today but it sure looks like a heavy day, not sure how sun will come out of the heavy sky, hoping get some outdoor work done after I head to Barrie to check out cupboards at the ReUse it store.

Jeff will be happy because he does his annual Kayak trip with 15-20 of his staff just up the bay and Greg will go do pizza's for them.

Started one of the 5 chair. Lounge beach towels I need for Linda's birthday next Tuesday (2) then 3 for me and the girls for our trip (3) always make them something for travelling, twoeeks to go so have to get at it. I bought the 2 towels I needed for Linda's project, had a towel draped over the ironing board and Ziggy was on top of it, thought he was falling sand kept grabbing at the towel, pullsall over it so now I have to purchase another grrr

Well coffee break over, leabpving here at 8:15 so best I get a move one!

Hope you have a great day, looking forward to reading about it

Morning all,

Susan lovely rose, will try and get out in one of my flattened flower beds and take photo of my roses, torrential rain all week just about did my gardens in.

Pat, I just know I would be able to do what you are doing, cleaning up messes isn't in my forte although I guess when a love one needs your help you find the strength to do it. Don't be hard on yourself that you find some days worse than others, you are human...

Oh lucky you, that is a great machine. As for the embroidery part you'll soon catch on to it. I haven't used mine in about 3 months and almost sure I've forgotten how to change regular online patterns into vp3 format..need inukshuck for Sharon's projects so should try.

Not suppose to rain today but it sure looks like a heavy day, not sure how sun will come out of the heavy sky, hoping get some outdoor work done after I head to Barrie to check out cupboards at the ReUse it store.

Jeff will be happy because he does his annual Kayak trip with 15-20 of his staff just up the bay and Greg will go do pizza's for them.

Started one of the 5 chair. Lounge beach towels I need for Linda's birthday next Tuesday (2) then 3 for me and the girls for our trip (3) always make them something for travelling, twoeeks to go so have to get at it. I bought the 2 towels I needed for Linda's project, had a towel draped over the ironing board and Ziggy was on top of it, thought he was falling sand kept grabbing at the towel, pullsall over it so now I have to purchase another grrr

Well coffee break over, leabpving here at 8:15 so best I get a move one!

Hope you have a great day, looking forward to reading about it

No word yet from unemployment for Norm. They make you wait and wait and make you attend meetings. It is a 80 mile round trip for Norm and gas isn't cheap!!! Hope we are told something soon. I'm afraid to spend a penny until I know what the future will bring....

Pat, when my dad started having accidents, I put him in adult diapers, he did not like them at first, but it sure helped with the clean up.

Pat the Depends are a good idea. Might be just the thing Ben needs to put an end to the "accidents" too. Sounds kind of harsh but you do need to keep your sanity.

Barb, if it were their family members they sure would have claim processed quickly!
Nerve racking for sure!

might help somewhat lindakay.

Well, got a 4 door vanity for washroom, paid for it, Greg I hope will pick it up Monday after work, John will bring new counter top next week some time..now let's hope we can get that Binet in the laundry room.
Change to work clothes, went outside and grass is as wet as can be so will wait to cut a little later, skitter are thick...

I had that imitation rock that I broke support container for so maybe I can dig a hole for it out front and at least use it as a water feature.

Ziggy is beside me on the couch with eyesheavy, best I get up before we are both snoozing.

Ben HAD a Depends on... he is so "oddly shaped" with NO butt, and big tummy that trying to keep anything up without suspenders is a losing battle. the mess was on the OUTSIDE the Depends so when he sat on bed and pulled his pants down.... I absolutely forbid him from sitting on bedspread for those reasons... I tell him," I don't sit on the bedspread, YOU don't sit on bedspread". I don't want to have to wash and wash and ruin it long before it's time.
I had a big changing type pad on the bed but it was only marginally helpful in this instance.
Prayers for Norm and Barb, and the rest of us with life's challenges as well! And we ALL get some, some are harder to handle than others.

Barb - to be waiting for Unemployment and have the added expense of gas, is Not conducive to watching your pennies, is it?!?!?! I know they want to make sure you're actively doing something towards Unemployment, but overspending for their requirements isn't good financial sense.

Bob's busy in the living room, sanding the wall where he's patched around the window. It's where the drywall got cracked during the move here.
I must say, the past 2 1/2 months has been pretty awesome. We're both relaxed and a lot happier than I would have thought possible. Thank God for prayers of my friends & family.

Susan, I am so glad that you have found a wonderful peace place to set down roots and feel relaxed and happy. You & Bob deserve it!

Barb, I am so sorry Norm lost his job. It is tough to find a job now and at his age, it will not be any easier. The majority of the helpers at Home Depot here are men in the mid 60s. I just love it when I have a question and get one of them because they know just about everything about their section and if they do not, they say so and get help. The young ones just shrug.

Pat, I have the same problem with Vern. And I do a lot of laughing and crying. When I cry, I make sure he is no where around. I change his depends, and never know what I am going to find. And I do feel empathy for him because he is a very prideful man and changing of the depends, at first, really bothered him. I just looked him right in the eye, and said, "We both knew we would get here to this place and we are now here". When he throws up, he just lets it fly. I took my bedspread and the extra items that with it and they are stored away in our closet. I am fortunate that I have a care giver everyday from 9:30 to 12:30 and one every night except Saturday night. I was trying to do it on my own and I was wearing myself out. He now eats with a spoon or his fingers. So I have changed our menu according. He didn't want to eat with the family because he was so messy but we just sat down with him and explained that it was OK and we did not want to lose him from the dinner table. My daughter and her family come over every Sunday. It breaks my heart to watch it and for some reason we both thought we were not going to get to this point for a long time. And you know, they will never make a mess at a convenient time. The tireder I am, the bigger the mess. I am sending you many many hugs. And quite a few angels just to put the wind behind your back to help you go forward.

I sent it because I did not want to lose it.

Betty, I spent about a half an hour on the back patio today why the caretaker was getting Vern showered and dressed. I was going to make him pancakes and he is never hungry so I thought it was no big deal if breakfast was late. It was so beautiful and then I heard them arrive in the kitchen eating area. I came back in, fed the dogs and Vern and then grabbed the paper. I was going outside to enjoy the morning and read the paper. NOT. I was there about 3 minutes and the heat drove me right back in. In just little over an hour had gone from 84 to 100. And not a breeze in sight. I turned on the outside ceiling fans and they did not help one bit. So back in the house I went. We have no mosquitoes.

I had enough hamburger to make two hamburgers for dinner or a small meatloaf. I decided on the small meatloaf. And I remembered this time it was small and did not bake it into a hard brick. I put vidalia onions and red peppers to line the dish and then covered the meatloaf with sliced fresh tomatoes. Never done it before but got a thumbs up from Vern.

We are suppose to get rain tomorrow and there is not a cloud in the sky. Probably moved North above us. I would garden in the rain or cloudy weather. I did some gardening he other day and it just about wiped me out and I was staying in the shade. Just about 3 more weeks of this then it starts to cool down.

Diane, we need a photo of your new deck. Sue, your veg garden looks great.

I have walked the dogs for their second walk so now they want their supper.

Hugs to you all. Sharon

Pat & Sharon, gentle hugs to you both. I was there with my parents. I have a feeling I will be the one needing care but I have put in writing to hubby and children that they are not to let me be a burden to them, nor are they to allow any heroics when the time is near the end. Hubby has promised and his health is very good so I'm holding him to his word.

Karen, you will not be a burden. Just tell them to get help and do not try to do all by themselves. That is what just about took me down. I am 10 years younger than Vern and the whole world expects him to go first. The guy down the street was 92 and his wife was 77. Last year she got sick and died within 2 weeks. Everyone, including him was shocked. So you just never know. And Karen, thanks for the gentle hug. I took care of my Dad and then 10 years later my mom. My mom helped with my Dad. They were in our home. I worked at the time so I had no idea everything she did. Mom, went from the hospital to Assisted Living rehab and never came home. We could not prove we could take care of her. Medicare forced her into Assisted Living. I think they have changed some of the rules now. That was over 10 years ago. She was there 4 months and I was there everyday before lunch and then stayed until she was put into bed. I was warned by her roommates daughter not to leave her alone or she would be ignored. But I helped my Mom and took two elderly men under my care also to make sure they got what they needed because they had no family help. What they needed was for the attendants to do their job.

Morning all,

Expecting rain again today but right now the sun is shinning, hope the rain decides to wait til supper time.

My agenda is light today, need to wait till the grass dries up and then I shall cut the grass and while fresh in my memory will make my and Rita and Suzanne's beach chair covers and maybe an hour of quilting..that ought to fill my day.

Read all your posts intently, concern for sure this getting old and needing special care, more on my mind since I've been sick this past year or so, being alone makes it easy, a home it will be as I.do not to move in with my children..nope, being in a facility offers the care one needs without burdening the kids

This message was edited Jul 16, 2017 9:27 AM

Popping in to send hugs to everyone, but, mostly Sharon and Pat ... it is a noble deed you do, and, you are to be commended for taking on the task, I know it isn't easy.
Make sure you take time for YOU ..

HUGE HUGS

~M~

Thank you are for your hugs and understanding. You can imagine talking about Ben's incontinence (bowel and bladder) issues is not something I do generally. I want to keep that as private as I can to avoid embarrassing him. Thank you for not judging me for whining when my back hurts and am tired from the mess. And of course we always find the worse mess just at bed time or before I go to work! I count my blessings it is not very often. It is NOT easy cleaning up a one legged 400 pound man that has had multiple hip, knee & shoulder surgeries that limit his mobility!!

We have been approved for a caregiver, he gets just 41 hours a month. Basically 3 days a week for 3 hours. Our participation (the cost portion we pay based on Ben's income) is so high we pay all the care. The bowel accidents and clean up have ALL been when I am home and the caregiver gone so he has not had to deal with that. When it's a REALLY bad mess, I spread a shower curtain on the bed and have him roll onto that and i clean one area at a time and put a fresh disposable pad down in the clean areas and move on to next. thank goodness for disposable chucks!

It is amazing what Ben CAN do. He still likes to tinker with cars. He does what he can from the wheelchair and can stand for very limited time by leaning on the car. He does still wear a prosthetic leg or he would not be able to transfer from or to the wheelchair, or stand at all. When it's not something physically he can do, he will hire a teenager to help him.

Ben still cooks some and partially empties the dishwasher. he makes such a mess preparing food that I discourage him from doing it when we are expecting company because then i don't have time to clean up after him. The floor ALWAYS needs to be cleaned as he gets stuff all over it. I try to be the one that takes things out of the oven. More than one cooked dinner has ended up on the floor when he tries.

Ben can be left alone, he can still drive. There are lots of things to be grateful for.

I take time for me by going to my sister's 1 of my 3 days off. I try to get a few minutes of sewing in and at least the bare minimum of garden maintaince. My patio is so beautiful right now. I have a 2 large pots, 1 hanging pot. I have my pink bench & 2 metal chair painted bright pink & 1 pink metal chandelier with big pink picnic table. The wisteria is making a remarkable comeback, so it is all a pretty vision of bright greens, pinks and even purple. I just bought a frog spitter for the little pond on the edge of the patio, even broke down & bought 5 goldfish. What i will do with them this winter is an unanswered question!

Still working and sorting out the fabric stash, tweeking the sewing area. Finally packed up the 2 non-working printers and all the spare ink cartridges and gave them to a young friend who is having a yard sale to make ends meet.

There... I have bored you to tears with my life!

Not at all bored Pat. We all care about each other and know we can safely vent when we need to. I don't know what I would do without all of you.

Pat - all of us have either been there, been with someone who has, or are "looking forward" to going "there". Never ever feel like this is boring, or a burden. The ill one has to learn how to lean on someone else, and the caregiver has to learn their own limitations & abilities. It's amazing what you will do for a loved one, but please never forget to love yourself, too. Getting some "me" time with someone else, or by yourself, or crafting is a good productive way to love yourself. Good for you, and Bless You!

We're in the process of organizing, and I"m making a curtain for the motorhome - need to close off the bed area at the end of it.
Susan arrives on Saturday!!! Plane lands at 4:20pm

Evening all, was going to accomplish much today, started that way then Jeff popped in just before noon, had a nice visit then I decided the couch looked comfy and there went my get up and go.

Pat, glad you have a place to drop in and get rid of some of your frustration, hard road to walk but you are handling it well,wouldn't be human if you didn't find it overwhelming from time to time.

Wonderful that you are scheduling time with your sister and that although the caregiver is there for such a limited amount of time it's still helpful.

Will be a long week for you susan, waiting for Susan's arrival.

"m" how is Lorna and her mother doing? Have you been getting all the rain we have, would be difficult Lorna trying to keep up with grass/flowers.

Pat, you have a steep task. Vern weighs about 119lbs and has both legs. His legs do not work but he can stand about 40 seconds so I can get his depends and shorts off. Then he sits while I get a new set of briefs and his shorts back on. He has dementia but sometimes is aware of things going on. He still gets my jokes but gets really frustrated with the TV remote and phone. And when he wants something, he wants it now....He never was this way and I used to get so frustrated but with the help, it has reduced my load. I have someone 3 hours in the morning 7days a week and someone 1 hour each night except Saturday. We pay the total bill. Thank goodness we saved money. And I like staying home. I did go to Trader Jo's this morning while the care giver was here because I needed sweet relish and I prefer theirs.

I fell two nights ago. I was going around the caregiver to get the TV remote to turn off the TV. I stumbled over her feet, she was standing still, and down I went. I was in a rush because I was really tired and it was 10:30pm because she works at another home, late on Fridays. I was actually leaning toward the couch and hit the couch with my right shoulder before I fell the rest of the way and landed on my back and my big Butt. Big butts sometimes are a good thing. Scared Vern big time along with the care giver. I told everyone it was my fault and I was fine, which I was. Now my right shoulder is aching but not a bad ache. I have not fallen for a long time but have had two many close calls. I need to slow down. It is amazing where your mind goes while you are falling....

I bought some tiny baby zucchini squash at Trader Jo's. Daughter is bringing dinner so I am going to saute some garlic, vadila onion and some thinly sliced zucchini. Hope it tastes as good as I think it will.

Oh man, invite me to DINNER!! Sounds divine!

I am grateful that cognitively Ben is not doing too badly other than EXTREMELY poor short term memory. The ONE thing I insist the caregiver get done is wash & remake the bed every Friday. I don't know why I hate that job so badly but I do hate it! On a 'bad back" day, it is a miserable painful job. lately I've had way too many bad back days.

I don't know about anyone else, but I always feel like a fool when I fall! It is generally my own fault, not picking up my feet enough and tripping over the hose or something equally unnecessary. Forgetting there is a step... backing into the cement curb, you get the idea! LOL

Betty, happy to hear you took some quiet easy time. I need to invest in a new recliner so I can relax again, enjoy reading a book or a little nap.

I figured out at least one of the reasons my back has been hurting so badly. I discovered that my office chair at work is broken so it's not sitting level but pitching slightly forward. I know work would replace my chair (takes about 3 months because of our purchasing process). The company my oldest works for just closed their local office and encouraged employees to take office furniture etc. I now have replacement chair for my office! I'm hoping my back responds quickly to the change. It's really been hurting.

Between severance pay and PTO, Dana has about 5 months of pay. He has always been good with money so I know they'll be OK. They will just have to tighten their belts while he looks for work. I am grateful that he WANTS to stay local. He may have to go to Seattle (4 hours away) to get the exact kind of work he wishes to have.

Again, thank you all for your caring and good advice. I know I am of no use if I don't take care me. Like a mother in airplane, I have to put my OWN face mask on first.

oh my - Falling, lack of sleep, caregiving....... so much on everyone's plate!
Please ladies - take care of yourself. Rushing around does no one any good.

btw - although I haven't gotten a call about my 2nd knee surgery to come in Sept, I'm honestly doing much better. I'm walking with less and less of a limp. Some say maybe I'm doing too much (but it is strengthening me and increasing my stamina - feel more like myself), and medical people are leary that I'm doing enough. LOL I'm doing just what I should be - living a normal life. It'll be 3 weeks (on Tues June 27th) since I went to the surgeon's office to have my right knee looked at pre-surgery, and they haven't called for my Sept date. The nurse was away that week, so she didn't call, but should have, last week and still no call.

Falling is embarrassing. Likewise I usually am to blame. I have taken several tumbles because my PJ bottoms are too long. Now you'd think that a "short" person who knows how to sew and does it often would have the ability to shorten the darn things. I've also tripped over floor vents I knew were there. Last spring while we were in Atlanta at Easter time, I went down the stairs to the lobby instead of using the elevator. My shoe stubbed on the carpet and I went down about 4 stairs. Of course every time I fall, I beat up my knees a bit more. That's what I always hit because they are my vulnerable area.

LOL... we are our own worst enemy!

That said, i remember when I was pregnant with 4th and asked the doctor if I could continue to ride. I told him my cat was more apt to trip me on the stairs than my horse cause any injury!