۞ Sweet Interruptions ۞103

The squirrel - for anybody that rides a motorcycle or ATV
or just needs a good laugh...

I hope it doesn't offend anyone. I thought it was a hoot!
I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a
residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect.

I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must
have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me.

I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my
oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Bonzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular. ..

He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and
tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing...I grabbed for
him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have.
The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about hisbusiness, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.
But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel.


This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and
extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I wasstartled, to say the least.
The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of
a Valkyrie can only have one result.

Torque.

This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well .. I just plain
screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and roaring at
maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back.

The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own
devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle... my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it
had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me.

As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with
shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn
T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand . I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked ... sort-of.
Spectacularly sort-of ...so to speak.

Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams.

They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street. I would have returned to
'fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really...Except for two things.

First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car.

So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway.

That was one thing. The other?

Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me. That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car. A somewhat shredded patrol car ... but it was all his.

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids.

Thanks,
Cathy

Jaye,why are you hidden?

Cathy, that was so funny.
How are you feeling tonight?
I am off to bed everyone.
Have a good nights sleep.
Cathy there is a new swap open if you are interested.
http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/950274/
LK

This message was edited Feb 10, 2009 9:29 PM

Donna, Bella is precious. Just want to pick her up and snuggle her.

Marion, so sorry you are still feeling so bad. Do you have a flu?

Dusty, that's a great looking table. What do your chairs look like? My new dining room table is the same cabriole' (sp?) style legs but a dark wood stain. Anxious to get it. Like my new chairs but the temp folding table is a little small.

Looks like the tornados missed us. Has anyone heard from Tina? or Darlene?

Off to bed soon. Just got home from DD's first bridal shower. It was fun. One of the hostesses used the Barbie Bride doll from her wedding shower as a decoration on the table. We took photos - will post tomorrow.

Good night everyone!!!!!!!!!!!

Don just called from Dallas to tell me that we're right in the path of some tornado activity... heading right for the house...
I had just gone to bed when he called, so I'm up again watching the radar...
Mike's pacing.

If I'm not online for a few days... it's because our internet got taken out...
I'll call somebody to let them know I'm ok...

Pray

Night Cody. get some sleep tonight!

Bj, please be safe.
We will pray for that tornado do just go back where it came from!
LK

Thanks LK... The storm was in Dallas when he called and I could hardly hear him for all the thunder and rain noises...

I was just watching the radar, and it looks nasty out there. Try to get some sleep if you can.
Make sure you charge your cell phones.
Talk to you in the morning.
LK

Donna, Bella is a pretty little thing!!! Suits her name :D I bet your kids are overjoyed too.

Trisha, don't you think once after the surgery and her recuperation period's over, your dear mother will be doing double what she used to do!! Tell her she's not a bionic grandma!

BJ, that's what Kel had tonight. He loves pizza, but bad for his 'gas' problems with all that cheese. Be safe please BJ.

Hope Tina or Darlene post tomorrow. Will certainly say prayers for their safety.


Maid M., stay indoors if you could. Try not to get up abruptly, your balance too might be off. Take care now.


Sorry Cody. It's been a 'full' evening for me. We had to make two trips, first to pick up the truck that was supposed to be ready.. but wasn't. Then when we decided to go for supper at MB, the truck ran over an object on the road, caused the vehicle to run funny. Kel checked under and found a belt wrapped around the dry shaft! So.. we turned around and eat closer to home.. yep Pizza Hut :(

I have been very busy trying to finish up my quilt blocks. Not hiding anywhere. Sewing and pressing and watching the Westminster Dog show tonight.
Did you see the beautiful 10 yr. old Sussex Spaniel that won??? WOW!!

If I stayed on here too long, my obligations would never be met!
Hope to get these finished by the end of the week. Trouble is there are more than 40 pieces of fabric in a block!! Yep, I'm crazy..
Thank God, I pushed to finish the 7 mystery swap!!

Tomorrow will be a very busy day.. darn that word.. for me. So if I don't appear.. please don't worry about me.. probably will get back in the afternoon.

Good night sweet ladies.

Well, the worse is over... it's a really fast moving storm... Most of it went south of us... Phyllis is now in the line of the storm... keep praying for all our sistahs in the line of the storms.

I'm going back to bed now... night all.

Good night Jaye and everyone else.

Phyllis, say something tomorrow will ya.
Cathy, I forgot to say that I enjoy that joke. Yep... I won't do any unnecessary explanations myself! Lol.

Here's something sent ..

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"

Hope we will never need that bed!!

Really off to bed.. right after prayers.. Cody, hug Alex for me!

I will Mama Jaye.Sorry to hear about your truck.I hope it get fixed right.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

This message was edited Feb 10, 2009 11:38 PM

Prayers for all to stay safe tonight.....

Marion, glad you caught it early hope your feeling better....

Jaye, sorry about the truck but mmmm Pizza!!

Cathy I loved that story!!!! We had a similar one going around only about bicycles....we have one guy who rides with us that who just kept going on about it....he really and honestly thought it was a true story.....!!!

The doctor said mom has the knee joints of a twenty year old (a lot better shape than I am in) and showed us the x-rays....the tear can be repaired orthoscopically (sp) about a 20 minute procedure. They will do that on Thursday. She is supposed to stay off of it for 3-4 days, go back for a check on the 27th and should b back to normal in six weeks.

Sure hope Tia, Darlene and Phyllis check in soon.....we will be calling relatives in Marietta and Shawnee tomorrow......my aunt and uncle in Marietta lost their place to a tornado in the 90's......

It has been one long day, think I will head to bed soon......

Good night everyone and stay safe.

Morning everyone.
Coffee is on!
So glad to hear the storms missed you Bj, but now waiting to hear from Phyllis. Hope it missed her also!
Jaye, thanks for the funny story. Sorry to hear about yout truck problems. Hope you get it fixed soon.
Trisha, glad to hear you Mom is going to get her knee fixed so soon.
LK

Morning ladies !!!

Yep, we didn't get much of the storm last night at all, compared to some areas around Dallas. Watching the news this morning and looks like Garland, Colleyville, and parts north of Dallas have some serious damage.
I have Tia Tina's and Phyllis' number... I'll call to check on them later this morning...

Well... remember a couple months ago when Don's company sent him on another trip while on a trip? Well... they did it again... I packed him yesterday to spend one night in Dallas before catching an early flight to Calif.. one night in Calif, then home on Thurs. He had just arrived at the stadium when he got a phone call that he was being sent to Florida, back to Calf, then Tampa before coming home... I only packed him for two days again... this should get very interesting.

Jaye... being grounded because of auto problems is a really uncomfortable feeling... I always worry about emergencies when that happens... even though my truck doesn't leave the driveway very often, it's good to know it's there. Hope you get it fixed really quick... 'specially since your health isn't so good.

Trisha... I'm glad too that your mom is getting her knee fixed soon. She's not one to take limitations very well... I just know you're as happy about that as she is...

Marion... Dear Maid M... how are you feeling? Any better?

Think we'll all feel good at the same time ever again?

Love you all... more coffee... BBL

Morning Ladies..

LK thanks for the coffee I thik I need it this morning,

Jaye I hope you get your truck fixed soon. I know all to well what thats like..

BJ glad to hear that the y weather didnt it you too badly.. Hope all Dos Travels go well for him it sounds lik ehe is going to be very busy...

Marion.. Hope you are feeling better..

Trisha I will keep your mother in my thought sfor her knee..

Well the first night went well with Bella. She slep in the kennel and only whineed, barked, howled for about 5 minutes an dthey she laid downand slept until 7 this morning.. No accidents in the house so far either.. She really is a good furbaby.. she laying in my lap with her head on my arm while i try to type...lol
The kids love her except when she trys to play tug o war wih Tristens hair...lol

Happy Birthday Sistah Judy!!! Wishing you lots of joy, choccies and especially mucho hugs!

Thanks ladies for your well wishes. We're not on foot -- yet -- as we have our own personal truck. The other 2 are commercials.

Well, I'll be missing for the day, you all have a great day.........love my sistahs and nieces!!!

Jaye what kind of business is Kel in?

Happy Birthday Judy...

Well Im off to get some running done..

Will check in later..
Hugs and puppy kisses
Donna

I'm glad all of you in TX and OK are safe. My mom lives in Newcastle, OK, that's 30 mins south of OKC, I was worried about her so we were on the phone until it passed. We didn't get it as bad as they predicted. Of course I love radar and love watching the storms, so I stayed up half the night watching this huge thing come over, now I'm here at work dragging my rear.

Trisha I am so glad you shared that procedure. I have a tear in my cartilage in my left knee that I need to get fixed, I have the knees of a 5 year old Woo Hoo! Now I know how long it takes to recover. Too long for me right now.

Good Grief BJ, poor guy. He might either have to do laundry or buy some more clothes.

Dave stayed home last night. You remember he said he was going to get up in the afternoon and call his bosses? Two separate phone calls. Well he did, left them both messages that he has some sort of stomach virus (I think he has what I have) and needed to talk to them and asked both of them to call him back, you know they NEVER called him back? Ain't that nice!

Well, I best get to work here. I'll pop in after a while.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, Fairy wings, you get you little winged self over to the Where we are from site and sign up. I know you have some neat ideas to show so get it in gear, hear?

Glad the storm avoided you, BJ, now I hope those in OK did as well. they got it bad around Oklahoma City. Crazy weather all around!!

Happy Birthday Judy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥♥

Need some coffee please. Much better this morning--still coughing but the ear is not hurting. Meds are working!!! Jaye, I will be very careful as my balance is definitely effected by the fluids and I do not want to fall. That would just about do me in right now.

BJ so glad to hear eveything is okay. Waiting to hear how all the other are following the storm.

Happy Birthday Judy--enjoy it!!! Kick up your heals and do what ever you please--after all it is your day.

Just found a package from Cindy by my front door so I need to go see what goodies I have. Good thing I needed to water the plants on the front porch this morning or who knows when I would have seen the box. We use our back door and most all the deliveries are left there.

Back in a few.......

Good morning! Glad you're feeling better, Marion.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUDY!!!!!

Jaye, what kind of block has 40 pieces of fabric? I'd like to see a photo of that one. Can't say you don't enjoy a challange!

....it's called the "crazy lady for doing a block like that" block. LOL

This message was edited Feb 11, 2009 12:37 PM

HAPPY BDAY JUDY!!!

Auntie M-please take care!!

Donna-CUTE puppy!!! I LOVE puppy breath!!

Mom-I don't think I am doing that one...

......and why not Tink?

I don't know what to send....so I figure that I will instead concentrate on other ones that I am more interested in-I am going to try to make my own chimes:)

Good Morning Sistahs!!

Big happy smiles goping on here.
Thank You all for all the special Birthday Greetings.

Heheh, skipping around all the threads today.
Happy "old..er" gal, thrilled to pieces i can still skip.
ROFLOL.

Wow, BJ...I am glad to hear the storm is past.
Phylis, how are you doing.
Crissy...Are you ok? Well i think you are, am so glad Dave stayed home with you.

Holy stitching that is alot of pieces for one block. LOL...had to lay my project on the floor to figure out what was next...Can't imagine but love the "crazy lady" comment. Too funny, only a sistah would come up with that, or another quilter nut!
I can't tell you 'about my project but I can tell ya the color I am adding is Green!

Speaking of quilting, I gotta watch these swaps better, i have missed a whole bunch of swaps sign ups! Now, pouting away.
Ok...off to grab a cup and make an omelette.

Deborah...So special this morning Call...You made my day.
Debra, thank you for beautiful Card. I just love it.

You sistah's all are awsom!
Well, I hope Kim is travelling Safe...Should be home tomorrow!

Just heard from sistah Phyllis... she's ok... got in from a field trip last night and went to log on the internet and the power went out... but she's ok, at work this morn... and will check in with us this evening when she get's home.

Can't get hold of Tina Tia yet... keep getting her voice mail... anyone have Darlene's phone number?
They're awfully close to the worse of the devastation... would love to hear from them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUDY !!!

I think if I thought I'd have to stitch 40 peices together, I'd have to pass... I don't even cut that many peices for something to wear... sheesh.

Well... back to my projects... SYL.

Judy-in the swap forum there is a list of upcoming swaps-if you watch it you will know when they are and when they open:)

Morning everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Judy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we should start keeping a list of the quilting swaps, too. They are not in your list, Stacey, and they fill up pretty fast. Most only take 12 , not like the regular swaps where any # is good.
Wouldn't want anyone to miss out!

I post the info per the request of the hostess.....so if there is a hostess for a quilting one that wants it posted-just have them LMK:)

Happy Birthday Judy♫♫♫

Yes, I'm back...it has taken me this long to catch up with you all.

Only took one picture, (towel boxer dog in our stateroom). Weather was "okay". Really windy and not that warm. Food was great though.

I am really disappointed that Kim had to bypass my house because of her tooth. Glad to hear she made it home and is feeling better.

By no means can I say Hello to everyone by name, so I'll just say Hello Everyone!!! Glad to be back, I missed you all, sumpin AWFUL!

♥♥♥Cookie

Thank you ladies!!

Having a fun lounging kind of day.

Joyce so glad you had an awsom time.
...Did I see you won some moola, good for you.