Best/Worse/What did I learn today?chat with friends old/new

Linda, I'd be beyond upset. having had some experience with similarly inconsiderate people I have a few specific suggestions. First is to write to the doctor giving SPECIFIC information about the dates of cancelled appointments, the cost to you in time and money (again the $$$ it costs you in gas alone to make the trip) and, perhaps the most important, the stress for you, not just in time and money but the strong implication that these problems indicate that the doctor doesn't care about you or your well-being. The doctor took an oath that says "First, do no harm."

Add the argument his "helpers" gave about the phone call they didn't make.

Although I'd be suspicious of the doctor, the problems may be due largely to his assistants. Even if they are the doctor's fault, you can be sure the doctor will lay the blame on the assistants. This is a don't fight city hall thing, if he (?) want to blame them be agreeable. The question is what will he do - fire them, take the money you have lost out of their Christmas bonuses and give it to you as a partial repayment for your losses. Or what.

You want to be pleasant. (Beat up all the pillows you want but don't rant at the doctor.) Adult anger and a chilliy polite listing of the damages to you. You could say that your doctor referred you to this specialist believing that he/she would be the best for you. It may be that he is. He could just have a really bad staff and be unaware of how his patients are being hurt by their inconsiderate behavior.

Emphasize the number of times and the ways in which you have been inconvienced. And hurt.

Keep it short, to the point and stress that, because of your doctor's confidence in this doctor as a specialist you hope that logistics problems, which are probably not at all the doctor's fault, will not force you to ask your primary doctor for a referral to a more dependable facility (not doctor, facility with better staff who have more concern for patients),.

Can you tell I've been dealing with this kind of stuff for a while? Give the letter to the doctor directly and let him read it. If you send it to the staff, he'll probably never see it.

In my last visit with the Board of Supervisors, it made a huge difference that they were given my statement before the meeting. I think it was much more effective than any words I could have spoken so I didn't try to verbally repeat anything I had written.

if you emphasize your suffering (rather than your anger) it's much harder for him to ignore your problems.

When I went before the Board, I wore "granny" dress and walked with my cane. I decided not to go with the wheel chair but if I have to go back I may use it.

You are the PATIENT. They are supposed to be there for you, not the other way around.

Which leads me to one of my favorite "Little Stories." It happened many years ago when I was a caseworker in Chicago. One of my coworkers and friends was a woman named Mimi. She sent some paperwork to the typing people. The head of typing, an ancient, crow-like woman, took herself over to Mimi's desk and began remonstrating with her that she could not do what ever she had instructed them to do. Mimi was about a foot taller than the typing woman. She stood up, towering over her and said, "Lady, you're here because I'm here. I'm not here because you're here. Now go and do it they way I told you to."

I bear this story in mind when I'm dealing with the retirement Board and employees. The story and the succinct way it makes an important point has helped me to deal with people whose arrogance and belief in their own importance far outweighs any intelligence they may have hidden away.

Well, I guess you all can tell I got some sleep and am feeling better. Slept all afternoon yesterday (about five hours) was still in way too much pain for the evening. Took an extra pain killer - something I've done twice tis week. I hardly ever do it but when I can't move I do. Sometimes I just go to bed. The "quilt and TV" way to deal with pain. But with the second pill last night I was able to get another few hours of good sleep.

Have to walk to Trader Joes if I can ever stop writing!!!

Found someone nearby who is selling succulent starts for $1 each. If I get enough work done on the front yard here I could give Michael a low-maintenance front yard. The back yard has such a huge trash pile that I won't be able to much in the way of planting there though I did get a climbing rose and some seeds and bulbs for a small area that is cleared now. Keeps me happy and I have the money that I'm not spending on motels.

My pain killer taken an hour ago has worked at its best. I'm pain free and a little high.

Where is Dianne? All of you are with me and helping to hold me together when things are rough and celebrating with me when they are going well. Don't know what I'd do without you.

hugs, katie







This message was edited May 15, 2015 9:49 AM

Love reading about your encounters and suggestions Katie..more done with honey than vinegar right?

Omg, double omg, someone told a young man that I am in need of help in the yard, told him I already had the yard work done, all that remains is washing down the house, spray 9 for all the trim and gutters and decks washed with deck solution.

Only nice day this weekend is tomorrow and know that Greg would love to get some rides in withe the spider group rather than do this work as he wasn't able to do it Sunday in torrential rain

Asked the young man if he could help tomorrow..why tomorrow he says, I'm free and in need of $$$ right now..ok with me, said he would do it cheap, cheap for me, cheap for him could be quite different...wow said $80 for it all..start now I say. Lol

Katie - wonderful suggestions indeed - more flies caught with honey than vinegar,,,,,,

Betty - how wonderful! $80 for all?!?!?! wow

I'm inclined to agree the problem lies with the office staff and not the Dr. Chances are he has no idea there was even a problem. After all I cannot imagine any of his staff going to him and saying "Oh by the way we neglected to call at least one patient about the cancelled hours and she is very angry"

Doubtful they would do that though Karen, enough to make you spit nails lindakay

Feel a bit of a slacker, here I am, feet up, eating lunch, watching a movie and young man is working, doing an excellent job and quick at it

young? is that blonde or gray hair I see? lol must be blonde
so glad you're getting this done!

Well, time to do some packing

Blond hair..he's a worker

Katie, thanks so much for all your iNput and suggestions.

Bear pattern I have is simplicity 5461
I used to make a different one, it was a free pattern I'd found online. Couldn't find it, recently when I looked. I will look some more. Let you know if I find it.

Asking prayers for my son's Dad. Andy just called and said he has cancer in his stomach and spleen, and was told he has a few months left.
Andy doesn't know how to feel, as his Dad was never in their lives.

These are some of bears I used to make. Small, maybe about 12 inch. Easy peasy, one pattern is only three pieces, the other one only two pieces. I had two little boys in diapers when I made bears like these.

Sending you hugs Linda, thoughts for Andy, to come to terms with his feelings, I can understand his thoughts and confusion. Had similar situation with my biological father. Prayers for all .

Thanks thunder, will see if fabric land has it..they are adorable.

Lindakay, sending prayers..difficult situation for sure..feel for Andy.

How are you taking the news..hugs dear friend

Was going to go into midland this afternoon but my worker is still at it, likely another hour or so, guess I could go so that tomorrow I can do nothing...besides, if I want to finish quilt on frame I need more yellow thread

I am truly sorry he has cancer, but I saw this coming years before I left him. I always told him karma would bite him in the behind.

Still difficult though

Went and checked on the house, young man said ' looks like a new home, you gave me work so I'm going to do a great job for you' and that he is

Told him as things come up I will mark them on a 'to do' list and call him, he seemed please with that

Glad to hear you got some help.

picture I posted is not the simplicity pattern, sorry if I confused anyone.

here is link to one that looks kinda cute http://mccallpattern.mccall.com/filebin/images/free_downloads/McCalls/PDF/patchworkteddybear.pdf

A woman who was my supervisor in Social Services for several years and made my life as miserable as it has ever been got a nasty intestinal cancer which killed her about a year after I was able to transfer out of her unit. I knew how she got it and could not feel for her anything but that Oakland saying "What goes around, comes around." I remember how needlessly mean she was to me and I can only think, as you said, her karma caught up with her. Where there was no relationship, there is no need to feel a loss or guilt. That's the lesson for your son, I think. Sad but true.

Betty, so glad you have got someone helping you. I think about Tony and how I could not be here doing what I'm doing if he wasn't taking care of things for me at home. Whe you and your helper can both feel blessed for the relationship you are both truly blessed.

hugs, katie

Prayers for your son, LK - it's a difficult tightrope to cross - feeling bad for a fellow human being, but one that was never in his life.....

Betty - sounds like you have a God send in this young man.

Thunder - I've printed off the instructions, and it's one I'm going to have to make for my grandson!! I know Just the materials, too......... in greens

Thanks thunder, looks like something I can follow..what I do remember of my teddy bear days is you carefully snip from the back the backing, lot less fur flying around

Just know if I made one for dad and Susie and give it for Christmas they would so love them

Back from town, torrential rain out there so it was a quick trip

Got back and forgot another container of deck cleaner so good excuse to go in early a.m.

Besides, Melanie's birthday is next week, I bought a solar stained glass lamp for back deck, likely something Mel would like for her side table near the pool so I will pick one up for her

Yes I was blessed today

You have no idea how I feel knowing all is done

Grass and trimming I can do...just think, no work for me all weekend. Lol

don't know why I didn't think of Paulene first. http://www.funkyfriendsfactory.com/calico-the-signature-bear-printed-pattern?___store=us

I have not done this bear, but this is where I got my monkey pattern, and the peacock, and the bunnies!!! fantastic patterns. Just bought a few new ones !! can't wait to get to them.


A green bear, Susan I am jealous !! I love green.

Wow Thunder!!! I just fell in love with that site. I will be back there soon to pick and choose. We are never too old to get a "squishy" and what different gifts they would make for an adult too!!!!!

Morning

Suppose to be a sunshine day but sure doesn't look that way..overcast, damp and brrrr

Thunder, I'm with Barb, sure will be visiting the site..too adorable was the mouse to lay your hand on when using computer mouse..will on my next break go through what they have

Playing in the craft room until weather improves, picked a few I'd unfinished projects to work on so flitting from here to there

Off for breakfast

Hope you have something fun to do this weekend and weather is nicer in your neck of the woods

Finished the top for a Carpenters Star tree skirt. My calculations sucked though so now I'm totally taking it apart and recutting. I like them big but it came out huge and I have no desire for a Christmas quilt. Really ticked at myself for all the fabric I wasted.

I'm sure when you take it apart Karen, you will be able to salvage it, working it into another project..drats, hate when that happens

still cold and damp, grass wet as can be so it's inside for me

Wanted to quickly touch base. MIL is not doing well. Have been in Thibodaux this week with her. She is anemic from all of the under-skin bruising and bleeding. They are going to do a central line via surgery so they can do transfusions. She seems to have had a couple mini strokes since Monday...best case scenario, she will go to a skilled care facility if/when she leaves the hospital.

I came home last night to take care of a few things here and keep an appointment with Vet for Sophie Spoon. She has congestive heart disease....Had CFD. This morning I heard Bennie, her littermate crying...Sophie was having trouble breathing....she crossed the bridge as I was wrapping her in her blanket to go to the vet.

Her favorite outside place was the top of the slide on the swingset.

April 21, 2001 May 16, 2015

Oh Jean, so sorry to hear about Sophie! Especial hard for her to go when your MIL is not doing well also!
Sending prayers for all. (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))

Heart goes out to you Jean, so much to deal with, overwhelmed I'm sure you are.
Difficult for you Sophie passing in your arms but how better could she have gone than in Your arms!

Sorry to hear about your mil, hard road for her and you both..will add her to my prayer list.

So damp and on the cool side, no law cutting for me, tomorrow is another day right?

Prayers and tears for Sophie. Some comfort that you were with her when she crossed but not enough to keep the pain away.

Having a quiet day here.

hugs, katie

Jean - sorry to hear about your Sophie - she was in your loving arms when she passed over the bridge......

Jean so sorry to hear of Sophies passing. Sending healing thoughts . Warm hugs to you . Thinking of you at his difficult time with your MIL not doing well.
Lk sending warm thoughts to you and son. Not easy . warm hugs.
Betty sounds like your busy. glad you found a person to help out around the house.
not much going on here
finished my thai yoga massage level 2 course. Going to start working up on getting clients.

That's great news Sue, is there employment or is it a trade you must work on your own?
Is this your final level or are there more?

Yes, am more than pleased re having help
Wasn't the nicest today so I just played around, had an afternoon nap
Mom sai d she might come after church to visit for a bit, hope she doesn't mind me being in a nightie. Lol

She won't stay late, doesn't like driving in the dark

Sending gentle hugs also Jean. It isn't easy when we loose our best friends but they know they were loved beyond all measure....
Thinking of your family LK and sending prayers...
Betty = so glad you got help with the yard and house. Now you can play and not worry about things not being done....
Went to Madison's band concert this morning and quilt shops in the afternoon. Great day for me!!!!

two more weeks until we move, and it looks like we'll have most of the stuff done today! Got 3 china cabinets, and a piano out - Bob's working on the loveseat, and then he wants to move a computer desk we have (disassembled) there, for me. The one I'm using right now, he'll disassemble it later so we can sell it. Getting no response on my desk or dishes yet. Ah well - we can sell it within the next couple of weeks :-)

Barb, did you just look or did you purchase something? Glad you are finally getting out and enjoying yourself.

Susan, wonderful that you are ahead of schedule..I think you will have mega trouble selling that big desk, know it's valuable but everyone wants lightweight and small

Mom just left, invited her and aunt Muriel for supper tomorrow night
Darlene brought a closet full of clothes from her mom, most might fit mom..told her if pants needed shortening I could do it Monday for her as she is leaving Tuesday to go home..

Not much for a thai yoga here in Urbana. No spa's or studio's that have it. I have to build up my own clientele. so it will take time.

The desk is actually shorter than I thought, by almost 2ft. Bob had told me the dimensions, and it's not 10ft, it's 8ft 2"
He's talking about taking it to Habitat's ReStore tomorrow

Morning all

Looks like a sunshine day,
Excited that I get to cut grass, sad. Lol

Going to cook Turkey for supper so will get that in order while the sun dries the grass then out side I go

Anything special in your plans or much the same as I?

I did buy at the quilt shops yesterday. My neighbor has my camera so I can't take pictures right now. I got some fabrics that look like wood and stones to use for fabric frames around some cross-stitch things I have done. Got some shirting material with tiny rose buds that I liked for the stash. Got several half-yards of fabrics to make purses for the grands for Christmas. I should be busy for a while. Oh, and I got one skein of baby yarn. I've been making preemie sweaters for the hospital. Won't be shopping for a while!!!!!

wow, you did go on a shopping spree, you deserve it, been a long time since you've just been able to get out and just shop/shop/shop.

I am so close to finishing the 3rd and last of the series using different textures for wall hangings and ran out of bricbrac for flowers..still have to cut out little bows for the kite rope but I'll finish it later once I've purchased a package of bric brac

went outside and the grass is a tad damp, think I'll dress warmly and maybe clean/organize the back shed until I can start lawnmower

Morning everyone. Nice and cool this morning. 68, but it will be warming up quickly.