♥Sweet Interruptions # 233♥

Crissy, she attempted 2 different semesters at college, to study web design... dropped out both times, with failing grades both times... said she realizes that she procrastinated too much, and didn't apply herself. She said she wants to go back to college when she gets her head straight... YIKES... It's been 9 years since HS graduation... the college trust fund is gone... when do you think she's going to get it together?
She is just full of regrets for all the times she has messed up, but seems to keep making the same mistakes over and over.
Also, The Dallas metroplex is a very large place... she could apply at 3 places a day for a year and not hit them all.
Yep, she is a self proclaimed novelist. Finished one novel, and is working on her second. I read the first... and in my opinion, it will never get published... it's boring. Just a story about these kids, and their day to day life in a fantasy world. No climax, no adventure, no real story.

Thanks LK... I'm going to try

YIKES!!!! My mom forced me to get it together when I was 16, I had to have a job and that was the end of the story, it took me 6 months to get a fast food job, no one wanted a 16 year old with no experience. How in the world is a 16 year old supposed to have experience when the laws won't let anyone work before the age of 16?? She's going to have a tough time finding a job, needs to look for again WalMart or anything 'entry level.' The poor little me card!! I have two cousins that have done that their whole lives and now that one's 45 and the other is 40, they've finally started to get their *(&*( together! The other problem is, if she got a job would she keep it, or would it be too stressful or too strenuous, or too whatever?

Dave's mom wrote a story about her life following a circus around California, true story but no one knew who in the world Terry Ramsey was. Nevertheless her book got published and she made some money off of it. I figure since that got published and it sold copies anything can get published, put it out there and people will buy it. I wonder if and how much it costs to publish something.

BJ here is my two cents worth . take it with a grain of salt cuz i say it with love
Yes she should be doing all them things. But if she didn't do it with her mom , she may not do it for you ? She will only give you excuses and make up lies ( IMHO this is just from my experience ) this will become a game 9 yrs and she still can't get it together ? . I don't know her and nor do i know the history. just saying this from my experience. and giving another side .
i would not give her any conditions but just simply say " you got 60 days to find a full time job or go to school full time to do more and get it together " (or however many days you want to give her.) Then she is on her butt and out the door if she can't do it.
yes its harsh and that is why its called tough love and you know all this. IT will be harder for you then her.
The more she does this the more she will run out of people to slack on. it may happen again and again but eventually she will run out of people to do this too and well... there is only UP to go from there baby !!! She needs way more then what anyone can give here and only she can get it together.
i wish you luck honey and i will pray for your family that she can get her act together. Has anyone done any mental illness diagnostics on her ?
I hope i didn't step out of bounds here and get your curlers in a tangle , like i say " i give it with love and prayers "

OMG... Why would I take offense? I know that came from love and experience... I can appreciate that.
Fact is, I had to do these same things with my son... but he was 19 at the time... no direction, no goals or plans for his life... so, I had to force the issue with him. At the time I was working, and he had to leave the house when I did at 6am, and could not return till I got home around 6pm. I told him to use that time wisely... he could find a job, or sit in a dinner drinking coffee, I didn't care... but I wouldn't give him a key to the house till he started paying rent, and he needed a job to do that. He had a job inside a week.
School is not an option at this time. She has to support herself.
At this time, Don doesn't want to set a time limit. But believe me, I will not make it as easy on her to live here as she's used to living with her mother. It's not my job here to make her comfortable. And actually, I can make it very uncomfortable for her if she starts her lies.
I really think we were her last resort. Mom said "don't come home till you have a job" (which she should have, and I applaud her for it). Her friends aren't close enough to live with, and the one room mate she had once (who is her longest friend) moved out on her... we'll never know the whole story about that. No aunts/uncles/cousins nearby. So after us, she's sunk.

BTW, she didn't do it with her mom because her mom has always spoiled her. Wasn't until she got fed up with a grown child mooching off her that she started putting her foot down... made her move out 3 years ago when she got her trust money. Her mom works a lot of long hours, and does have to travel some. So, she has no clue what the daughter does when she's not home.

I DO... wahhhahahaha...

Special Request:
I just found out how Google works. In order for my shop on Etsy to pop up on Google searches I need to generate more traffic.
If you will, please click on this link and open my shop... then click on any one of my items for sale.
You don't have to buy anything, I'm just trying to generate enough traffic to get Google to recognize me.
Thank you all very much.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/BeejWilson

Sue that is some great advice! I don't have kids so I said what my mom did with me, you want to talk about tough love, that woman gave me some serious tough love but it made me a better person.

Done BJ! Love your work!

BJ, love the site..do I not have one of your first creations received in a swap box years ago????

It's possible, Betty... I can't remember who all got one of the firsts. I'd like to think I've gotten better at it since then... I know I've learned a lot more since then, at least.

Thank you all for going to my site... I have no clue how much traffic I need to generate before Google pays attention... but it sure would be nice if my shop at least made the first few search pages.

I think it was a bottle for oils/vinegar , I will check tonight..know it's in my cupboard!

BJ - I found this site on "getting into Google". Hope it helps:
http://thekeywordacademy.com/how-to-get-your-website-into-google
It says you can get on, within 24 hours......... doesn't look like you need a specific # of "hits".
I couldn't go onto your site from work, but will, when I get home.

Bj i think you got a good head on them shoulders. Your doing the right thing. You go guuuuurrrrrlllllll !!!!
well i got word of my mom , she has liver cancer, and well being the drinker that she is , not a mean drunk but a person who drank every night after work. never a sick day in her life ! but well it will take a toll on a liver after 50 yrs of vodka and wine.
So i m a bit still in shock. i guess. she seems in good spirits and will do a procedure where they go up through the groin in a vein and do the chemo that way ?
so she is a trial thing at Stanford .
they caught it early so they are very optimistic, but she does need to loose weight also. so she has her work cut out for her at the age of 77 yrs.

Sorry to hear that Sue. Sending prayers her way.

Glad they got it early, Sue - so hope the chemo works quickly for her.

BJ - I think you're doing a wonderful job with Tough Love!

thanks for the kind words
yes i agree BJ your doing a great job on the tough love ... no can you give some to my oldest DD ???

Update from Faye...



UPDATE!! Ray went to see his surgeon to have the staples taken out of his back today. Dr. Knole said: "We got it all, we went 1/2 in. deeper than necessary but we were able to get ALL the cancer. Ray does not hurt at all. What a blessing to see him doing the things he wants to do without pain. We cannot thank you enough for your prayers. God is good.
Hugs
Faye

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! Praise The LORD!

Morning everyone! Coffee is ready! Hope everyone slept well, and if doing well today.

yay ray!
sue, so sorry about mom. keep your chin up
cuzin bj, so good to see you again. glad you could join us

Good morning, Good Morning!!

Well, i've caught this cold and it's kickin' my butte!

But, woohoo, got to do the running and getting stuffs done, so go until i just can't anymore.
Had to take van to emissions, passed so I could then go and get my plate sticker and now i'm good to go for a long while.

Cindy!! So good to see you post. I guess i didn't know you had another pup. But glad your getting the walks and a little one on one with each.
Sounds like you and Doug have been busy, good for you. Wow, Hosting the 2014 gathering, woohoo...

Jaye, Whatchya doing?? Are you still on a cleaning frenzy? Hahaha, must be in the air, i've been doing much of the same!

Oh thank you Sistahs for liking my latest blocks! ROFLOL, Sistah Jaye, when I was creating those corner pieces, Jake was laughing at me saying how I'd never make it on Project Runway!! Too funny, He is right, because it takes forever just to decide what to do, then of course takes another full day just to make templates and get things cut out, lol...But i got to admit, I really do love to piece things together...LOL, by the way, PR this season is an Allstar and the hosts are different it's quite refreshing !!
LOL, Thanks for the little push, I've started reading The Hobbit over the weekend...So far, I'm enjoying it.

OMG, Sue...Keeping all crossable limbs crossed for Tim! Wow, Australia, too cool. Hope and pray he gets the job!

BJ, OK, checked out your site!! Very cool and pretty. Well, hang in there with the niece...Sounds like you are doing what needs to be done!
We are kind of in same predicament...DH has not been quite himself so the kids have sort of taken over, LOL Well no more, He's back and were doing the Clean sweep of Kids or i should say the Kids friends!! Comes a time when they need to learn. Life ain't free.
Anyway's My only piece of advise, which was given by a mom of 3 girls, Just, talk to her(them) like they are the adults they are, Don't get mad and stay firm.

Linda Kay, Thank you for the update on Faye and Ray, Thanks God, for answered prayers!

Waiving hiya Betty, so nice to see you over here!! Very cool you have a BJ original!!

So, what is everyone up to today?
I'll be back at a break, got to get some breakfast and get moving.
lol, still working on that basement...So funny, Making a big mess in order to get a bit organized!

Enjoy the day!

Hey Cuz.... it's good to be here too. I can't be here as much as I'd like, but yes... I'm trying to be here more often.
Mornin' LK... thanks for the coffee... sure is good today.
Sue... sounds like you needs some huggs... (((((( ))))))

I told the step-daughter last night that I'm not going to treat her like a 15 year old any more. I'm not going to spend my mornings trying to wake her up and get her butt out of bed every morning any more. I gave her an alarm clock, and she has one on her cell phone. She needs to start wanting this more than we do. She can have our advise and opinions when she asks for it, but we can't do it for her. However, if she's not showing us that she's trying... she can be out of here before she plans on it. TRYING = get your butt out of bed, get dressed, hit the road ... everyday... EARLY.
It's 9:30... and she's still not up. UGH !!!!

BJ, tell her if she is not up by a set time, you will wake her with a glass of ice water! I had to do that with my boys, they thought staying up all night playing games was better than sleeping. Well, they were warned, and did not listen, so the next morning, I poured a glass of ice water on them! It only took one glass, and they were up every morning after that!

LOL Linda Kay!! I love it.

Hi Ladies,

Yesterday was Doug's dad's b-day. We took him out to dinner to this really nice steak house Cool Hand Luke's. Very good dinner, I had had NY steak and Shrimp scampi. The steak litterly melted in my mouth uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Been a long time since I've had a steak that tender. Dinner would have been really nice if Doug;s dad had not been such an a$$hole. He was really rude to the waiters. First he took forever to order, then when they brought our salads he decided to visit with some friends across the isle. We, (me, Doug and Judy) were almost finished with our salads when they brought our steaks. Well, Art being the jerk he is says to the waitress, "Where do you suggest I put it?" He would not move his salad dish to the side so they could put his plate down, so they took it back to the kitchen. The rest of us were done eating before he told the waitress he was ready for his salad. He wanted a coffee refill, well the Hostess happened to be walking by so he stopped her. While she was getting the coffee, he put the sugar and cream in his cup. The hostess comes back with fresh cups of coffee instead of refilling their cups. So that made him mad so he dumped the cream and sugar from his cup into new cup causing it to over flow!!! Then tries to blame it on the hostess. OMG!! Judy and I were so embarrassed, we looked at each other and just shook our heads. Then because it was his b-day they brought out this yummy looking sundae. Because it had chocolate non it he threw a fit told them take it back he wanted strawberry. When it was time to pay Judy took care of it. I know she left them a NICE tip and apologized to the wait staff. When we got home I told Doug, NEVER AGAIN will I go out to dinner with his dad. Art is a sarcastic smartaleck, who thinks he knows everything. And if you've done it he's done it better. I told Doug if he is going to live with us he going to learn to be nice or don't say anything at all. Doug and I have rules that Art are going to have to get used to, if we are going to live together and get along. If not he can live somewhere else.

Now as far as me Hosting 2014, it's still up in the air. I really want to host it, but it will all depend on what happens in the near future. But like I said if there is someone else who wants to host please do so!!!

BJ, before you dump the cold water on her, take the blankets off first!!!

This message was edited Feb 1, 2012 9:40 AM

Good one, LK... LOL
No, at 26 years old, I think being homeless might be more threatening. I just went in her room and asked her to sit on the side of the bed and look at me so I knew she was listening. Last warning... "You get up, get dressed, and get out of the house by 9am, or you will be out permanently." and "you need to show us that you're serious, or we can't help you"... and "don't wait till your dad starts yelling, flailing, and kicks you out... when he gets fed up... you know what happens". I don't think that last one scared her... she knows how to play him. But, I think I got my point across... AGAIN.

Last night she spent 4 hours filling out 2 applications online. And needed help answering some of the questions on them. If she has as much experience applying for jobs as she said she has done, shouldn't she have all those answers in her head already?

Also, if she needs this much prodding to get a job... how in the world is she going to keep it when she gets one?

Patience is a virtue, I know. I guess I'm not a virtuous woman. Lord help me.

Sorry to hear you had a bad dinner with Doug's Dad Cindy. Pretty sad he has to act that way.

Jaye, where are you! Don't make us send out the hunting dog's! :)

This message was edited Feb 1, 2012 11:21 AM

oh Cindy - you're right, he's a JERK! m'goodness!

BJ - 4 hours for 2 applications? I sure wouldn't hire her for speed........... Didn't you say she would apply at malls? What kind of work would she do? I agree - how to keep a job when you have so much trouble getting her going to GET one......

Susan, that's where she went yesterday... a plus size store (I can't remember the name of it), Barns & Noble, and Best Buy, and Michaels.. a couple more. Was a good day, for the 3 hours she was there... if she indeed tells the truth.
Yup... 4 hours... and that's exactly what I told Don on the phone. I also told him that she doesn't seem concerned that he will actually do anything about holding her responsible. He said he'd give her the rest of this week, and see how she does next week, and if he needs too, he will tell her the same thing I did this morning... and, he'll mean it.

I also picked up a copy of the current Woman's Day magazine for her... it has a healthy diet plan that she can stay on that doesn't cost more than $50 a week, and all the foods can be bought at the grocery store. Her mother had her on a special diet under a doctor's care once that cost about $500 a week, including a weekly doctor's visit. She lost a lot of weight then, and thinks that she needs to go on that diet again... NOPE, not on my dime. But she also needs to get her self down to the gym and find out about the classes she can get into. Don and I will help pay for all this, but not if she keeps procrastinating about it.

I have really never known anyone her age so content with doing absolutely nothing.

I be lurking. Thank God for taking care of Ray.
BJ, she'd appreciate that tough love. Been through that with my ex' great nephews when I took them in.

Will do whatever's asked from my sistahs.

Being it's Wednesday Power Prayer night, please add me to your prayers.

Love all of you, even the ones in the wrong country!

Bj you have not meet my 21 yr old DD ROFL
she has been this lazy since a kid and it keeps getting worse. ! she lives like a pig in nasty'ness in her apt.
She has a boyfriend who is the same way. He works or so i m told?
she is on disability due to her being diagnosed with Bipolar but honestly i have friends who are bipolar and they are not lazy ? they work and keep up a day to day life ? so why can't she do it ? no idea. She has absolutley no drive to do anything but lay there and watch tv ! oh don't get me started , she is the size of a barn. tipping the scale at 285 lbs and growing
i don't get it either. beleive me i know your pain friend :( i do, i really do

Sue... LOL... I feel for you too. We sort of knew she was like this when she lived in her own apartment... we tried to stay neutral, and not bug her about it. Now that she's under our roof... we're both having a hard time watching it happen before our eyes.
Don said she's "stuck in a funk"... depression set in and she doesn't know how to get out of it. Well, first step to recovery is to actually find some self worth... find a job... support yourself... find your support groups (friends).... basically, dive right in to life... you might find it's a lot of fun out there.

Nuff of that... she's at the gym now getting info on the classes available to her... and, I showed her the fridge full of healthy foods I bought for her today... and had her read the article in the magazine... she's all for it, or so she said... so, we'll see what happens now.
Sue... my step daughter is all of 5' tall and weighs in at 295... I have no idea how her legs even hold her up. I know how hard it is for you to see your daughter let herself go like that. Makes you wonder what she must be thinking about herself too.

Oh, Judy... I miss your old Indian self. and your arm wraps... I'm gonna get me one of those in June when we meet agian at Betty's.

Cindy... stick to your guns sistah... that old man will make you so miserable.

Hi Ladies,
I had something I wanted to tell you all but kept forgetting. I spent two years researching, getting good insurance, ect. so I could have a Cochlear Implant. Finally found a doctor in sacramento. After trying for days to get an appt., I was told that they won't take me because I have Medical along with Medicare. Boy was I ever MAD and very upset. So I go back to Placer Speech and Hearing to get fitted for new hearing aid. They do not accept the insurance coverage I have for hearing aids, but they take Medical. But I have to pay a $695, share of cost before Medical will pay for $1800 hearing aid, and still have to approve it first. WELL!!! I am NOT paying $695 until the do approve it. Or I could go to SENT (Sac ear doc) and my insurance will pay $100 towards a $1800 hearing aid. LOL I can't win! So in the meantime I am saving money to pay the $695 only if it gets approved FIRST. I don't want to pay the share of cost and then have them say that they will only pay x amount or not approve it at all and loose $695, because they sure as heck won't pay it back, not the goverment no way jose'.

LOL BJ, the old fart doesn't realize I am a Gemini!!!!! If he doesn't like mine and Doug's rule he knows where the door is. he is the one that came and asked, so if he wants it bad enough he had better change.

Cindy that just plain stinks ! about the insurance.
BJ i sure hope she can get going at the gym. it would do her so much good.
ok its time for my "mom bragging time "
i just died when i saw this today and had to take a picture.
Austin expression...... priceless !

I got a Dmail from Jaye, said she will be away for a few days, and will post when she can.

good morning
where did jaye go ? i miss her already.....
well i m off to the gym , wish me luck. honestly i just go for the eye candy.. LOL

Nothing wrong with eye candy!

i'm not on much either because of blurred vision. can't see the words. went to eye dr. yesterday, she said when they get the cataract off my right eye, i should be able to see good again. she said the cataract is putting too much strain and glare on my left eye. i hope she's right

Sorry to hear that Kathy, hope you can get it fixed soon!