Best/Worse/What did I learn today..a chat with friends!

Well, now if you had listened to ALL of us a month ago...you would not have bugs crawling in your forhead now would you?

Hmmm...we TOLD you so.

AND...I got my drivers license renewal.....AND...will get that ordered the 2nd week of July.....so I can come up there and get you!!!

Behave....and tell the doctor EVERYTHING. That one thing you "hide" and don't think is important....could be the key that pulls it together and an accurate diagnosis!

OK, off my box of scolding....going to go ice my "finger" from shaking it at you.

Debbie

LOL! You tell her Debbie!

Now let's hope it worked!!!!!

Debbie you are just too much!!! YOU are the one in deep doo doo ..wait until I see you..

OMG Debbie, do you think you will finally get the enhanced drivers permit ??? say yes please..couldn't you spend the week I'm off in August which is when Barb and Norm will visit..I could pick you up as a belated birthday pressie ...I'm sure you need to fly to coop, a few days would not hurt being away from all the difficulties you've had these past months...you need to be mothered and I'm just the lady to do so..something to think about right??? if you were to apply how are the kids doing?

Now for Shirley before I have to leave here at 2:30...

Shirley, if I could impart anything that would be helpful it would be this...

Roger showed signs of illness and died all within 3 weeks... a difficult time for me, the boys, family and friends..especially difficult for Roger's mom and dad who at the time were ill themselves and also for his 10 sibblings..

Roger fell ill so quickly, day after our 25th wedding anniversary he said he couldn't get out of bed..within one week he was in a Toronto Hospital losing his battle with 'c' although it wasn't until the last few days that they said it was canncer..

Always thinking that he would be home for Christmas and New years he kept asking me to tell everyone not to visit, that he'd see them when he would be discharged during the Christmas holidays...

He was in so much pain,couldn't deal with anyone seeing him so weak that he wanted to see no-one, actually when I say no-one I mean not even I and the boys..we'd sit with the curtain closed around his bed, not talking, being quiet as could be so he'd think he was on his own!

He was not given meds because cancer was in the liver and the meds they did originally tried would not be broken down in his system and they said it could possibly kill him, so they came to a halt

He sat without diapers, his skin breaking open because of the kidney's failed to work and still he thought he'd be home shortly and asked that I NOT let anyone see him in his present condition...different times he became irate, said I wouldn't take him home when I could..they put him in a shut-down unit (now there's another story to be told)..at times he said he saw something in the eyes of those visiting, now fewer and fewer because I asked them not to..some would come and sit with the boys and I but I told them they could not go in and see him..this was his request.

When all was said and done I realized it was the worse decision I could have made, but at the time I made it for him because he asked me to do so.

After the funeral, never mind after, during the entire 3 day viewing and funeral day, his sibblings and his parents set me by the wayside, all except 2 or 3 whom I am still close with..in fact, when I asked one if there was anything of Roger's he would like I got told to *&%# off as I stood beside the coffin...

During the following months I wondered what I did that was so bad, what I could have done, why I was simply cast aside after being in the family for 25 years, loved and cherished as a family member??? it has taken me another 20 years of trying to make up for what I DID, something I've never understood as being the reason for the hatred they give, I've tried absolutely everything, so much energy, so much apologizing and you know what, it didn't change a d)(n thing except cause me more hurt and anger...had to decide if I wanted to live the rest of my days feeling the same way..

Through this period of time, I've met and have been be-friended by so many earthly angels, ones that have watched over me..caring and loving people and I think of how I cherish those angels, how they love me for me..how they understand or don't understand some of the things I've done over the years or during the time of Roger's death, but are accepting me for who I am..unlike my in-laws..

You will never change their mind Shirley,not in a million years... they've already renderred their verdict and in their eyes YOU are guilty, regardless how you explain things they will not accept it..YOU are the reason they are hurting, YOU are the reason perhaps they didn't get to spend more time with their beloved Tubby, YOU are the reason for... and for...and for... they take no part in what happened, they need someone to lash out at and YOU are that person..they cannot understand YOUR grief when they feel their grief is so much more hurting than yours ...unreasonable as they are being THEY will show NO compassion for you...

In speaking for myself I know that Roger would be rolling in his grave that they would treat me so terribly but nothing he can do..what I could do and did is to finally accept that is the way it's to be, that chapter in my life was over...I would have to find new friendships and interests ..cherish some of our old friendships and know that when all was said and done, I did what I thought was best for Roger and my family, I did what he asked of me and no better could I do than to fulfill his last requests..

So what I would like to pass on is that it's time to move on from the why? how come? what is wrong with me, why do they no longer care for me? hardest thing you'll ever have to do in this life but you cannot live second guessing what happened or what Tubby asked you to do..your main concern has always been Tubby's needs.. it won't happen today, won't happen tomorrow but if you move and accept the hand of friendship many are offering you will find your true self, someone who can be proud of how she handled things under such difficult hardships..Tubby would be (is) proud of you Shirley..that's what matters, not what they think of you..nope...head up, a smile for that Tubby who was always joking around and know you are some kind of LADY!!!

Hear!!! Hear!!! I'm so sorry you went through what you did but look how the Lord is using you Betty!!!!
I know it will take time Shirley, but we are truly with you and if we could be there in person we would do that too. We love you as we loved Tubby and now that you are in our hearts, you may not leave.

Shirley I also wanted to add that at the same time I was making choices with Roger's needs in my best interest I most likely did do some things that were not right, tired, no sleep, worry, confusion..how can any mortal make perfect decisions...hindsight is 20/20..we can't go back to change anything but we can move forward!!

OK, you should be home by now. Where are you woman? We need an update!

YES, I am going to get my extended license to "cross the border". BUT don't know if I can come visit til Sept.....working on that.

DH possibly needs TWO surgeries (right knee & left elbow) will know more after an MRI. Shane to college...if I survive to see him graduating THIS friday...if he can graduate. Is bad attitude enough to stop graduation? Weddings...Anniversary party...and it just keeps coming!!!

DD has interview tomorrow....pray she gets this...as it is a 10 minute drive from home....not 45 like where she is. AND it might help those headaches with less stress of driving.

Chaos....it needs to stop!

Debbie

Was home Debbie when I last posted..lol..waiting for Ann to come so we can win that jackpot..

Good visit with doctor..

First I asked him how all the tests went..MRI showed scarring from migraines, a bit of shrinkage of the brain, normal for my (our) age he said..as for the Doppler,great blood flow!!

I then went on to tell him about my visit to walk in clinic and about my blood pressure and dr. Giving me high blood pressure meds and that the headaches stopped, eyesight got better etc. Asked him if I should no longer take the pills but he said yes, I'm to continue with them..as for my forehead he said what bit me must have left the stingers..said he wouldn't lance it, wait a month and if not healing in a month I'm to go back..toe wasn't broken, badly sprained..knee..after effects of all the digging/carrying slabs of rock..told me to start acting my age..

So all is well that ends well!!

Kyle's back for a visit..bomb scare at their school twice yesterday and once today..if it happens again tomorrow they will be forced to do exams at alternate location and delay last day of school by 3 days..oops got to run be back shortly!

Glad to hear all test are good. Now make sure you keep taking your pills for your high blood pressure, and watch the salt intake.
Wow, 3 bomb threats! Is someone that upset about the school? Sure hope they catch whoever is doing it.
Good luck on the Bingo numbers.

Most likely bomb threats are to get the kids out of taking the tests....an older kid doing it. We had that same thing here two years ago! Then they figured out they had to stay in school even longer and it stopped!

Betty, what about a drawing savee for the forhead to pull the stingers out? Would that work? Warm compresses definately....and yes, take your meds!!!

Ohhhh, bingo night.....win big!

Ya'll all have me laughing my booty off ! Deb's finger, "act your age", etc.... LOL!

Hello To All ! Yay Betty - great way to put your experience... I agree with Barb.. you are an angel to pass this along to Shirley...
I've never lost a husband, but when sis and I lost Mom... I never thought she and I would disagree as we did... we always "got along" and "never" would be those arguing family folks... NOT...!! I just wanted what Mom wanted....she wanted things her way... and I basically gave in pretty much all the time. Still hard for me to understand why she acted the way she did..... ( as mentioned prior.. she was always the 'better one' and the 'smart one')....

LK - Thank you for the info on the Solstice... so very interesting and I always love how gardening is a hobby that can really make you feel you are connecting with our ancestors... ever feel like they were SO Much in touch with our Earth in ways we are getting further and further away from ?

Betty - the phrase "Barely see the house for gardens" would be IDEAL ! I would love that. Very hard for me to do... but just realized we have these 'fast growing" "very large" plants from the swap so can't wait to give it a try !

Deb - ((HUGS)) I pray some sense of the chaos... certainly after graduation things should settle down !

Will pop back in a bit!
Mary
PS: Susan.... trade you zucchini chocolate cake recipe for zucchini bread recipe? Would LOVE To make picky DSD her "Chocolate Cake".... she HATES veggies and anything green... think I can trick her into eating veggies ?

Drats, we didn't win! Guess no riding lawnmower purchase tomorrow!

Debbie, you have no idea how excited I am about you getting your enhanced drivers license ..jumping up and down and will take a vit whenever you can come..just wish it was when gardens have blooms..jot on your calendar..September 17th..Fran's 80th birthday party at Betty's.

Mary don't you laugh, with the rain and sunshine we've had in May everything is triple the size..jungle city! My country gardens might need a more manicured look next spring...sooo much work to do so..
Debbie, remember I took mom and Jim to meet you at cracker barrel?? Could that have been before Christmas?? She can't find their passports..had to have them renewed..has the 1/2 side that says expired but can't find replacements anywhere..

Told dr. Jilesen I'd have to give you all a glowing medical report..says I'm in great health but should learn to listen to my body.

As for the bombing scare, Kyle said he heard that the police have an idea of who it might be and that the individual has a good reason for trying to put off exams..you just don't know though..all precautions has to be taken.

Think I'm going to call it a night..if I can't sleep I,ll be back for the midnight shift.

Oh Betty - I don't like Kyle heading to exams under those conditions...however as Deb said it's usually a disgruntled student....

Aren't I the one to get Hubby all OCD and in an uproar on plans! He is at the other computer.. has taken a pic of our Front yard and is photoshopping plants to place in the Front yard.

He is excited because someone wants to give him a cabbage palm and he's been wondering where to put it... I think he knows if I start getting obsessed about the front yard... something will get done.

Up till now.. the front yard has been like the back of my hair. "IF I don't have to look at it..... why should I care how it looks?"

LOL ((HUGS))
Mary

Mary - here's the Zucchini Chocolate Cake recipe:
Chocolate Zucchini Cake

Metric Ingredient Imperial

750 ml zucchini, peeled & finely grated 3 cup
4 eggs, slightly beaten 4
250 ml canola oil 1 cup
125 ml baby food plums 1/2 cup
770 ml sugar 3 1/4 cup
2squares baking chocolate, melted 2
770 ml all purpose flour 3 1/4 cup
7 ml cinnamon 1 1/2 tsp
5 ml salt 1 tsp
10 ml baking powder 2 tsp
250 ml pecans, chopped 1 cup
10 ml baking soda 2 tsp

Directions
Peel, shred, and drain zucchini and place in large bowl. Add eggs. Stir in oil,
baby food, sugar and chocolate; beat on low speed with electric mixer. In a separate bowl; sift together flour, cinnamon, salt, baking soda and baking powder. Measure out 1/2 cup of flour mixture and stir in with chopped nuts. Gradually add flour mixture
to zucchini, beating by hand to mix well. Stir in flour coated nuts and stir until well blended. Pour batter into a greased and floured bundt pan or two loaf pans. Bake in preheated 350 F oven for 60 to 90 minutes if using bundt pan or 50 to 60 minutes if
using two smaller pans. Test for done-ness by inserting knife in centre. Remove from pan and cool.
Serves 10

Awesome Susan ! THANK YOU! Will LOVE if DSD eats this cake ! ((HUGS))

You were up here with Darlene last time we met.....and the "crazy ladies" at Christmas tree shop before that.....and Betty, it was I believe late November ...early December you came up with Mom & Jim. Before the dog was sick..that much I remember. I will have to look at my Calendar and see if I can figure it out. For some reason, thinking it was one of our holiday weekends...as you were worried about crossing and the traffic. Our Thanksgiving maybe?

Storms are moving in here and I have every window opened pretty much. So have to get moving and close up the house.

Mary, you have a "free pallet" in front of you with that front yard!! Awesome!

I am heading to bed...really, I am...right now.

Good night,
sweet dreams
Debbie

Debbie - I think it may have been "Black Friday" that Betty came? Or maybe she was frightened by all that goes on, on that day....... I hear a lot of people stay home, for fear of injury..............

Morning,

Had rain last night so didn't need to put the sprinklers on this morning..still cloudy, calling for storms today and not clearing intil weekend!

LindaKay did I hear dallas Texas got a lot of rain yesterday, does that mean you did as well? Hope so..

Walked the gardens this morning, everything is so lush and green, plants staring to bloom, especially daisies, coreopsis and spider wort..as for the spider wort I may get to cut it down and have another growth of blooming..

Looking forward to the weekend, want to edge, pull up some overgrowth of plants, tidy mother nature's garden rooms..

Mary how exciting to have Dh interested enough to plan out front gardens..don't you come in or come near the front every day and see that area?? How have you kept the roundup plants alive?? Pond plants here are so very expensive, yikes, not sure I'll purchase many..girls thing hosta's around p d would be nice, have to think about that... Mary, sounds like everything you have and what dh might get you have a great start to the front gardens.



Bev, how are you doing..bet gardens are spectacular ..hmm have to read up on picaso program..be a non busy day today so might just do it..have you been to see Scotty of late, is he finally settling in?

Susan, you know me ad cooking, but baking I do much better about so I've copied your recipe and will try it.

Oops look at the time..must run

Debbie I went back to internet and researched enhanced drivers license. Sounds so much easier than to apply for a passport. Does not sound like it is available to all
states.
Betty you went through so much with Roger and then to have to deal with FAMILY and what they wanted. You followed your husbands requests.
Susan I think that I may need try this recipe and see what happens.
Goodmorning to all.
Coffee pot quit working last night. New machine up and running but tastes YUCK.......

Yes Scotty is doing ok now. I haven't been able to get in the gardens for do long because of so much rain. I am going to lose a lot of plants. OH !! WELL!! HUGS BEV
One of my seedlings.

Betty, I don't think you can post a picture to DG unless it is on your computer like in a document folder? So if you have pictures in online in picassa, you will have to copy them to your computer first.
Morning everyone! Yes we had rain. It started about 1:30 this morning, and everything is still nice and cool and wet. Since we have no grass to speak off, it is muddy outside, but still not complaining. All the plants got a really nice drink from the rain!

Laura, coffee was delicious..I've been thinking about getting one of those pots you put tea/coffee/hot chocholate pods in and you get 1 cup..would suit my needs..one of these days I'll break down!!!

Hurrah....rain for LindaKay...do you think it was the rain dance I did last night??? drats, wasn't a rain dance it was a summer solstice dance..

LindaKay, Picasso is on my regular computer and I crop and enhance but then it stays in picasso, not sure how to save the changes nor how to put back for easy pickings on my browse..

Too busy this morning to check it out, maybe this afternoon will be quiet and I can play..very unusual to have been so busy but it's nice, morning is almost over.

Bev, sorry you are losing some of your pretties..either no rain and they burn or rain and they drown..not good at all..guess I'd better not complain about our weather, even today we are expecting storm but calling for near perfect weather for the weekend..and, I've nothing planned other than relax and play in my gardens.

Glad to hear Bev, that Scotty is accepting that you can no longer look after him without putting your health in danger! You are not alone at home, still have your son with you right? so any heavy duty work he can help..feel better about that.

Laura, I believe the enhanced drivers permit is also available here..should check it out! They must do similar chequing though in order for you to get it..Debbie, is the application lengthly?? I keep saying I'm going to apply for the ezzz'y' pass but first I would like to know if everyone in the vehicle needs one and how much quicker is it before I fork out $$$

Debbie, only reason I was trying to find out when I took Jim/Mom is that they cannot find their new passports unless they applied and didn't receive them..think you have to sign for them when they arrive so told her to go back to Passport Canada and have them research when they were sent and IF she signed for them..

Betty, each person crossing the border has to have either a passport, or the passport card, it looks like an ID card.

http://www.usps.com/passport/

Here is what the U.S. Offers.

Betty that is the coffee maker that just stopped working. We have had it about 5 months. Luck would have it we filled out the warrenty paperwork and mailed it in.
Called the Keurig company and they are sending a brand new one fed-ex today. I enjoy this coffee maker because you can do so many different flavors of coffee. tea and hot chocholate.

Good Morning Everyone!! I have been swamped here at work and am leaving today at 2 to drive up to my dad's in Joplin. Just wanted to let everyone know that I didn't take a long walk off a short bridge! LOL

Hey Crissy. Sorry to hear your so busy at work. How long will you be in Joplin?

A few days, Dave is staying home to take care of the veggies and my plants and he has a second interview at a company called Cameron, he really wants to work for them, they're a great company and very hard to get hired so keep your fingers crossed, his unemployment runs out on the 1st!!

I can't get mine yet - apparently I answered "yes" when I should have said "no". The online form asked me if there was documentation sent to them regarding why I was let go from my job. There was a form saying "no cause" sent to them by the company, so I said "yes". Now they're trying to figure if I am owed $$ (I am, but they have to go through the process until July 11th before I can continue filing).
I told them that their website was confusing. I'd never filed a claim so close to the last one, and they want it to be a "renewal" because it's within one year........ but the renewal wordage is confusing.........

Crissy, praying for his interview to go well. Keep us posted.

Susan, hope your paperwork goes through too. Never heard of anyone being let go with no cause?

I've been let go with no cause, if they put a cause it could stop Susan from getting benefits, and the fact that she was at the end of her probation allows the no cause clause. I've put on resume's no cause for termination before, of course I was always asked but I always said I was laid off because business was slow. I never have had anyone object to that.

20 Minutes!

Afternoon everyone, Crissy safe traveling, sure hope you have a safe trip to Joplin...don't forget your camera, it's a must that you take photo's..am sure you will be overwhelmed when you see the devastation! Best of luck to Dave, maybe when you get home he'll have a work schedule in hand!

Laura, that's the name I was looking for walker, Keurig, they had the smaller one on sale for $99.99 should have bought it then. So you recommend having one? Great that they stand by their product!!
I'll have hot chocolate in the morning if it's ok with you??

Susan, drats that is not good..think I would if I ever had to would go directly to
their office..I could sc*#w up the Lord's prayer so wouldn't take the chance...let's hope you can get the changes in quickly so you can get $$$$ back.

LindaKay, still raining!

Oops forgot to mention mom found her passports, Jim is having an operation Friday and will be off 6. To. 8 weeks if he listens so I would imagine shell want me to take her state side

This message was edited Jun 22, 2011 2:07 PM

Rain only last a few hours early this morning. Right now it is 86, but quite humid.
Glad to hear your Mom found the passports. What kind of surgery is Jim having?

I'm home!!! Second eye is done and I think it's a success too. The patch comes off tomorrow and then we will know. Vision is blurry right now - I think I'm straining the first eye so I'll keep this very short. Thank you all for your prayers. I really appreciate them.....

Glad to hear your surgery is all done! You will have perfect eyesight soon!

Oh Barb, so glad that is behind you. You will be amazed tomorrow what you can see. That is always one of my favorite memories of my Mom. The ride home after patch removed from eye surgery. Mom: "SLOW DOWN".....Me: "why mom, its construction and I am NOT going fast!" Mom: "Oh I know...but I can't see all the cute construction men!"

I know you would never do that Barb....but enjoy the flowers! lol

Hello To All !

Debbie - That is a fabulous Mom Memory ! Yes - we'll have a "Blank Slate".... will be exciting to see what we can do... Told Hubs to forget the planning... let's just go plant Stuff !

I rarely use the Front Door, Betty... isn't that funny? we are on a corner lot and I usually go in the garage door straight to my lovely BackYard. I could go weeks without ever opening my Front Door. NOW... if it were hidden from the road by Plants, ....Hmmm..... I do have many of the Round Up plants left... I've kept them watered and Miracle Gro'd.

So glad LK you got some Rain.... and some "Cool" weather ! 86 degrees... HAHA ! Funny that seems cool to us southern gals...
Laura - yup sometimes you gotta break the coffeemaker in... sounds like you found a good brand....
Crissy - Praying DH gets that job ! how great that would be ! Hope you get that unemployment Susan....I would think in this economy, companies will be forgiving when folks come back to the workplace as it seems so many let go with no cause but the downturn..... Barb... Congrats on that eye ! Can't wait to "See" how you do tomorrow !

Tomorrow will be exciting.... An old Radio friend is coming in town and a few of us are taking him to lunch. Deb - that's the guy I worked with 20 years ago... he was an overnight DJ.... and very smart...now has several PHD's... coming to town for a High School Reunion.

THEN>.. "Out of the Blue" I get a text from the niece who just got married... She and new Hubby are driving from Florida to California (Where he will be stationed / Air Force) and will be in my area tomorrow around 1pm ! So I guess I'll have lunch with old friend then lunch with niece and new hubby ! How funny. Maybe I'll even work tomorrow.

A little.....

LOL...

I'll pop back in a bit. Hope we have some Night Shift on tonight... Hubs has taken DSD1 to college orientation 3 hours away...they won't be back till Saturday. Other 2 teens are working. So just me and Belle. Having trouble keeping her out of trouble...

Hugs,
Mary

Sounds like your going to be busy?

Mary, sent you an email.

I had several exciting things happen today. You all know me and my animal fettish.

Well, first I had a run in....with two of these babies screaming at me. Feeder empty and me out of food totally! Well, they let me know it

THEN, I heard this familiar "tweet" and said "wow a cardinal nearby".

Sure enough. This little guy....I think there were actually two of them. Entertained me most of the day...getting closer and closer each time. Leaving and coming back when I was outside....and even DH. He was amazed how he kept coming back...and over to me. I wonder if it was my red shirt...he thought I was family!