♥Sweet Interruption♥ 20

You ladies have got to stop! I have been trying to drink a cuppa but it is now all over me. Where do you get the fun... that was the way it was last night, too. to quote you "got a million of 'em". Can't remember who used to say that but whoever it was dates me.

I, too, am waiting to hear from my critter swap buddy. She should have gotten hers from me yesterday (according to UPS) but I haven't heard anything from her. I wonder.....

I loved those!! I had to read the bull one twice cuz I missed a part, and I have heard the pancake thing B4 and it is true...

Jaye-I am glad you liked-did you like the explanation note-I remembered you talking about moo moo's on another thread long ago:)

Yeah Cindy I had gotten that a couple weeks ago and I do check my stuff for dates.

As for the jokes I have posted those are ones that have shown up the last 2 days from people I know from back in Illinois and one guy I work with.

Just be glad I haven't pulled out my Cd I burned several years ago wtih nothing but jokes and poems and funny stories .at one time I had I think 15 disks but put them all on a cd since disks were slowing fading away for computers.
had thought about a book with them all but then I do not have names to put with them as to who started them so thought copyright laws might cause a problem so never did. LOL


Here I have someone that can help clean the monitor screens off...hope it works ..have never tried putting an animated picture up in here LOL
click this link
http://www.ladies-of-the-heart.org/Phyllis/screen.html

can't put animated graphics in post :-(


This message was edited Sep 6, 2008 11:11 AM

Morning again. What a fabulous soggy day! got some sleep, woke up to hear DH and DD in my iris garden without me - she's weeding to earn $$, he's expanding the bed while the clay is soft!

Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers everyone. Jaye, glad to hear you're fine too. Wake County needed this rain, we'd gone back to severe drought status.

[sob] but my poor chair - no drought there. it's never going to be the same after that purina story.......

more Walmart stories - this sent from little sister to my DH - has the name "natalie" but dont know if that was the author.


Going to Wal Mart By Age

Scenario:
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know, the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog [editted to say poop] off your shoes The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog [editted to say poop] on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what the hell it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think you heard someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

WHERE IS MY DEPENDS. Omg those are to funny.

That is way too funny... but oh so true...

ROTF - laughing and kicking

OMG that's funny.

it is good to know about that pancake mix my grandson loves them. I will check dates for sure thanks.

Me too!

I heard that about pancake mix several years ago, and quit buying it for that reason... I just didn't use it often enough before it's exp date ... I use Bisquick pretty fast here, so I just make pancakes out of that when we have them.

OK Ladies, I swear there is a conpiracy thing going on here, because I got my second pocket dragon with get well sock in the mail today from Kathy. It is so cute, and you all are really too much.
It is just the small things like this that mean so much.
Kathy, Thank you so much, and I will always treasure everything I get from my Sisters from DG.
THANK YOU
Linda Kay

It came with a little note that says:

To keep your foot protected after surgery.
Good Luck
Kathy
(Jordonkittyjo)

Thanks for the pancake warning. Didn't know about that.. I don't keep any but I'll pass this info to my church sisters.
Stacey, yes you are right. I love muu muus. They are the most comfy thing to wear for me. And the flag is held proudly once again ;)
Bonnie.. after last night, my chair is lined with Lola's training pad!!!

LK.. oh no! NOT US!! We never conspire behind anyone's back!!!
Right sistahs?

what??? conspire behind anyone's back?????
why that would be just down right rude don't' ya think and everyone here is just so sweet I could never ever picture any of them being like that!!

ROFLMAOBIGTIME On the walmart shopping but the last one applies no matter what the age at time when that dang CRS syndrome kicks in LOL

Yeah right, no conspiracy here at all!!!! Cough, cough!!!
LOL
Linda Kay

LK, you okay?? Might have to check that cough when you get that foot done.

WEll-you will only need 1 sock for a while right?? We dunno what you talkin bout....(whistling and looking at the ceiling)

This message was edited Sep 6, 2008 5:47 PM

yes I agree better get that checked or mix up some home brew
honey, lemon and whiskey equal amounts warm in microwave take one tablespoon before bed ...
it's what I grew up on since I would get pneumonia every winter till I started school

hmmm

I think in NC the recipe is honey, lemon and moonshine (well, we did have all that bootlegging history folks!), but I've heard everclear works good.

got to tell my (ancient) story. I was a good Christian teen gone away to the big leagues college. Came home for Christmas, threw a party and someone brought everclear. I think I'd tasted wine four times. my girlfriend got drunk on it, and I didn't know what to do! Thank goodness my parents were at their own holiday party. 19 years old and clueless. My mom and I were both to frugal to throw it out, but she wanted it out of the house (teetotaler) so I put the bottle in my suicase and back to school I went. Went to an exam study break party in the room next door, and I gave them the bottle - it only had an inch or two left - to my hallmates for their party.

My hallmates took one look at it, aghast, and looked at me, knowing me quite well, but knowing I was from NC. Said, "we don't drink this, we use in science lab for experiments!" I said, no, folks mixed it in drinks. What did I know? To prove it, I took a little party clear cup and put in ice and some kind of fruit juice mixer like I'd seen my friend do, then put some of the everclear on top. But I didn't know any thing about mixology, didnt' stir it. Just drank some. Couldn't quite talk after that, so I sat on someone's dorm bed for five minutes, whereupon I excused myself. Went across the hall to my room and laid down until the room stopped spinning. Didn't touch alcohol again for eighteen months.

Everclear is pretty much one of the highest alcohol contents out there silly!!LOL That is funny!! I was the opposite-give me some beer and about 10 shots and I was good to go-a little partier in my early 20's!!

My first ever alcohol was everclear in a drink called green lizard, omg I was trashed. Oh I was 15, for shame. Didnt touch anything else till I was 18

Linda Kay, I would hang my head in shame for sure!! Accusing this group of a conspiracy? Do we look like Pirates to you? Think not!!! I agree with the others, that cough sure sounds bad--need to go to the emergency room right away.

Tinky, what's on your ceiling that makes it so interesting to watch. Poor child, so easily entertained.

Hadn't heard of Everclear--dugh! Now the word "moonshine" rang a bell. Think that was what was in the gallon jugs hid in my dad's cow feed barrel after my uncle made a mad dash to our house one time. Dumb me just thought it was water. Did think it was a strange place to put a gallon of water. Oh well started the blonde very early for sure.

This message was edited Sep 6, 2008 6:22 PM

LOL that is funny Marion.

Well, Ladies... alcohol never passed my lips until I was 27 years old. I was a single mom of 3, and had a neighbor who was a single mom of 2... she invited me to go with her clubbing one night, and we shared a baby sitter. At first I didn't like the drink I ordered... didn't like the second one either... gave them both to my friend... I did like the third one, and the fourth... but by then, I was afraid my neighbor wasn't going to be able to get us home... she was wasted... so I didn't have any more, and sobered up before leaving... and I drove us home.
HOWEVER... I went back, and again... and several times again for about 6 months... (I call those my wild days)... then I came home one night and found that my babysitter had locked my oldest son out of our apartment, he was sitting on the top step crying... I never hired another baby sitter, and I never went out clubbing again...
I have had a drink or two now and then... but not until about 5-6 years ago.

OMG you let that babysitter live. She would have wished all I had done to her was lock her out.

It was all I could do to keep from planning her funeral with her mom... I didn't let that rest for several weeks after... her whole family probably still remembers me to this day... and that was 30 years ago.

Oh gosh I bet so. I was real lucky with the babysitters i had not very many of them but did some. Usually when it was girls night out the hubbys stayed home with the kids and then the next weekend was the guys turn to go out. They usually didnt cause us girls had fun out or at home and they wanted to have fun with us.

Ok I'll tell my story LOL

well if I drank and it was seldom I did when I house sat for my dad's boss's mother..and any friends that were with me stayed the night.
but one time I did drink and drive *shame on me* I had gone with a co worked to a bosses house for something don't recall what and we stopped and got beer on the way. (not a big beer fan) anyway I think I drank one beer then switched over to screw drivers..anyway on the way home form getting my car...I was not even 2 miles from home and all of a sudden it hit me and I couldn't' get my car to the side of the road fast enough nor did I get the door open in time..all over the drivers seat and floor it was...went on home and went to bed thinking I'll get up and clean it before folks got up...nope dint' happen and I love this to this day ...All my folks ever said to me
was
"That's what ya get for mixing Beer and Pizza"

Never made sense of that though as people drink beer and eat pizza all the time LOL

BJ, did you put the fear into her? What was she thinking???

I didn't drink much in college (making up for lost time now with my Pinot Grigio habit) but did manage to dring an ENTIRE bottle of cold duck once at a frat party. Was doing a lot of dancing, drinking, hot, sweaty, room spinning ...... uh oh ....... boyfriend took me to his house and tried to help me into bed when I threw up all over him and his bed. Gross. I couldn't drink anything pink or red for years after that.

p.s. He turned out to be a real jerk so I don't feel so bad about throwing up on him.

ROFLAMO

ha ha ha that is to funny. Yep a pitcher of beer and a pizza, reminds me of another story. The day my grandson was born my brother took me out to eat pizza, now mind you I had been with my daughter from noon on the 31 of august in the room until about 8 pm on the 1st of September, We ordered pizza and I ordered a beer, the woman older than me asked me for my ID. ANY other time I would have just whipped it out and said thanks, but I was beat, stinky, emo and I blew on her. Still had to go out and get my ID. I told her do you think I look like I am 80 years old for nothing, I have been in the hospital for well over 24 hrs watching my 1st grandbaby being born and I dont look old enough to buy a beer. I am better now.

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING? What most teenage girls are thinking... I suppose.
I don't remember exactly, but it had something to do with he didn't want to go to bed when she told him to... (it was a Saturday night, no big deal)... I think he probably got mad, and went out to the porch to sit and cool off, and she locked the door behind him...
Something on those lines...
I did threaten her pretty harshly... with the law, life and limb, voodoo spells, and probably some wicked kinds of spells I'd put on her. Her mom seemed more concerned than the girl was... and I don't think she baby sat for anyone in our neighborhood after that...
I have a loud mouth when it comes to protecting my young.

lol I so hear ya there. You can do almost anything to me but you mess with mine and hell has no furry........

Other moms were glad to know, I'm sure!

Tia, ain't it irritating when they do that? Maybe they are required to do it and threatened with losing their job if they didn't. Whatever, it's kinda silly.

When I was going through my days I had 2 funny stories...B4 I met DH I would drink myself til I passed out-then my friends would do everything possibel to get me up-cold water, hit me, shake me-EVERYTHING-then someone said the word work and I shot right up-after that they always just said "time for work" and I shot right up-had 2 jobs and needed the cash-so I guess I kinda had my priorities straight!!LOL

Then after I met DH he had some friends down to AZ-we wanted to all go out and he was being a party pooper, so we went w/o him-I apparantly had several beers and shots and I woke up the next morning with a HUGE bruise on my elbow and I couln't move it-apparantly I fell off the toilet at the bar, and again 2 more times after I got home-paid for that for like 2 weeks!!LOL

it's is a pain in the @$$ when the card you but they have to ..if they don't and the end up serving someone that looks older then they are and something happens to them like a accident on the way home they it comes back to the place they were served at and they in turn put it on the employee.
the only time I didn't card when I was a bartender was when I knew them and knew they were 21 or older. ..other wise we were required to card.

BJ-that is horrible-I used to babysit and I would've never done something like that!!

Mibus (sorry, I should know your name but can't remember), that makes sense. They don't do it because they have a lot of extra time on their hands and want to pick on customers! lol!

I use to bartend and i know they have to have an id, i was just tired and irritated and wanted a beer.