Spring Blooms - Part 12

My first daylily - Wineberry Candy! Eleanor

An interesting color iris!! Called Superstition - the purple is so dark it looks almost black. It is not in a very good place and the color makes it stick out like a sore thumb. Can't say that I really like the color - at least where it is in the garden. I'm looking for a place it would be better suited but for now it will stay put and I refer to it as a conversation piece. I think I should have been more leary of an iris called Superstition!! Eleanor

My Lupines are starting to bloom - woodchucks ate all the blooms last year! I much prefer the color of my mother's iris - President Pilkington. Eleanor

I like it Eleanor! Iris are one of the first things I planted 3 years ago, just a bag of rhizomes from one of the dept stores, and this is the first year I'm seeing blooms. I'm now hooked and wanting more. Here is my black bud.

Nice Lupines too!

Nellie Moser is going strong. I'm finding the colors of all my clematises more vibrant than last year - either that or the color faded along with the memory!! LOL

p.s. I'm having a lot of trouble keeping up with the threads - things are not going well on the home front. Colin's parents are divorcing. I'm very upset cause they are both selfish and stubborn. All of my hours are spent trying to help Colin cope with this. He cries and clings when I take him home to his father and it is breaking my heart. I'm sure there is fighting going on in the house and that he is affected by it. I try to keep him with me as much as possible. They have been in therapy for over a year and neither one is changing so I guess it is for the best. There needs to be give and take in a marriage and neither will put the other person's needs first over their own. Many times Colin's needs don't even come first. Sarah is moving out of their house this Saturday and moving in with Auntie Jenn. We have spent the past week re-arranging and child proofing her house to get ready for Sarah and Colin. Jenn has had her little house on the market because her property taxes were doubled and she just can't swing the payments on a single (Social Worker's) salary. With Sarah paying rent to her sister she at least can pay her mortgage payments. So everything is crazy right now and I'm glad i can get out to the garden to have some quiet time!!! Just wanted to let you guys know I'm not ignoring you. Eleanor

sorry to hear that Grammy.... it's never easy that's for sure... and you are right the kids are always the ones who suffer.. you are doing a great thing with spending time with him away from the craziness

So sorry about the divorce.
Colin comes first, the adults can survive but he needs lots of emotional support.
No matter how many times he is told" it's not his fault "he will never believe it until he's in his twenties and can figure it out forhimself, unfortunatly by then dammage is done.
He is a lucky kid to have such great support in you and his Aunt. keep him close and hugg him a lot.

Oh, Eleanor ~ my heart is breaking for Colin. It's such a hard time for him, and for all the rest of you, too. He is a very lucky child to have you, and you will be a constant in his life that he will remember. It must be tearing you up to see all that he is going through.

And, you, too. You must be so upset and so stressed! Please remember that we are all your friends through thick and through thin, and you can always come here for support.

AMEN Candys

Eleanor, Your pretty blue flower says it all. Hugs to you and Colin. I know you will keep the little guy busy doing all kinds of positive things this summer.

Your Nirobe is lovely. I am awaiting Clematis blooms with envy of all you that have enjoyed them already. Lupines. Love them, but they hate me. But a glimmer of hope as one tiny leaf has come back from last year. It is all of 3" high so far, but alive, it's alive. Here is 'Rare Treat', I think. Label missing. Patti

Eleanor - what sad news. The upheaval is hard on everyone both physically and mentally. I'm sure you are feeling it as much as Colin and his parents. All you can do is be supportive. I don't know if this helps, but my son just turned 22. I divorced when he was 3. He and I are extremely close. We can talk about any subject. What's even better is, he also loves and respects his father - don't know if this would be true is we had stayed together. I thank my mom every day for the effort she put into my son. He is who he is because she helped me along the way. For him, the sun rises and sets on his 'Mem'.
Nan

Thanks for the support everyone! We've had a tough time lately but we seem to be holding it together. Auntie Jenn asked me a good question a few minutes ago - if we should let him see his stuff being moved into his new house and room. Or should he just start staying in his new place. He is familiar with Auntie Jenn's house and loves going there. Right now he hates going to his own home and wants to stay with me. We're trying to make the move as smooth as possible for him. Any thoughts on this are welcome. If any of you have gone through this and found a way to keep a 2 year old from suffering we could use some advice. Eleanor

Your sensetivity to his needs are right on. Yes let him see his things coming and if he can have him help with little things that are his favorites.

Sorry to hear that, Eleanor. Hope all turns out for the best - especially for Colin.

I think you should encourage him to think about having three special places to call "home". Your house, his mothers and his fathers. Let him pick the things that he wants to keep at each and try and avoid moving "stuff" with him all the time otherwise he might feel like a traveling salesman. Patti

'Mem', short for Memere = grandmother.

Eleanor, you have Dmail.

Patti - that sounds like a good idea. He already has two places he calls home. What's one more!! I already keep an abundance of stuff at mine - toys, clothes, diapers, food, special dishes, etc. Right now he is too young to understand about choosing things for each house, but I like the idea of calling each place his home and having some of his things in each of his homes. Eleanor

Nanegoat...my Mom was 'Mem' to my kids and now i'm 'Mem' too!

Eleanor, I wish you the best and hope it all goes well for Colin and it becomes easier for him.

Love it, Celeste.

Here's a wild rose that is being corralled in my garden.

Eleanor, years ago when our son was 18 months old my DH was in a hospital for a long while and we would go visit daily, but we would have to leave. And as we were staying in my MIL home during this time our son was confused and angry. A counselor at the hospital suggested I make up a calendar. I thought she was nuts, an18 month old can't read. But she was dead right.

So, I made up a big calendar and on it each night I would draw a stick picture of the next days events in a little calendar box. Visit daddy, go to the park, go to grandmothers for sleep. Simple time markers. The next day's events mapped out verbally and visually for him before bed time. I even stuck it to the wall next to his bed. He instantly felt totally comfortable knowing where we would sleep and when we would see his daddy.

And as sometimes my DS and I would leave Boston for a few days to come home, so I could keep our business going while DH was in the hospital, I would do the same picture calendar while at home. He knew where everyone was in his little world. His mood and anger went away almost instantly. Worth a try. We had an ending picture, which was all 3 of us flying home to Nantucket with big happy faces and having our dear dog and cat waiting at the door. That was 25 years ago. Patti

Patti, thats a great idea and such a wonderful memory for you!!

Thanks Patti, that is a wonderful idea. When we all get settled in our places i will have to give that a try - sounds like a fun computer project with photos of his favorite people and his three homes. Eleanor

Pixie/Victor - good call on the moth. Although this one was only the size of a bumbler so I'm not completely convinced. I've have the hummer moths around, usually later in the year, i don't remember the bumbler coloring on them.

Sounds like a pretty good advice for Colin. Divorces are tough on kids, sometimes best for the adults, still always toughest on kids.

Eleanor - I'm so sorry to hear that little Colin and you and your family are going through such a difficult time. The best advice I can give is from personal knowledge....I made it a point NEVER to say anything negative about my DS's father (even though it was very hard to do at times). BUT, it made my DS feel so much less conflicted and able to feel it was ok to be loyal and loving to both of us. Today, he is in this 30s and has told me how grateful he is that we never put him in the middle or made him choose. He says he learned the meaning of respect from that, and that made me feel great. It seems that it would be a no-brainer, but amazingly, people just get caught up in their frustration and pain and don't realize what their bitterness and anger do to the kids who love both of their parents.

very good advice donniebrook. i lived with the opposite from ex and 15 years later it is still non-stop.

Bill my ex is still bitter 26 years later and is now trying to bring my DGD into it. She's only 9 and out of the blue last week she said "Grampie says he's better than you" ...'but I don't think so".
Good grief!!! Who says those things to a child?....it makes ya wonder what the heck I was thinking Oh so long ago!

Wow - that's terrible. Adults just don't realize how powerful their words are with kids. Or they do and just are so selfish they don't care. So sad.

Boy, Pixie, that's a low blow......but kids are smart enough to see right through that stuff, I think. A little stepping back and standing in the shoes of the kids helps, along with a measure of common sense. Family Law was the one area that I knew I could never practice!!

Prince William service berry. Earlier than normal because it had berries when it arrived. Has some kind of rust or something on the fruit.

waited three years for these Japanese bowl of beauty ... boy I think they were worth it

NOID from home depot

the whole bunch

Wow Allison, those peonies are amazing!!!!

thank you... I almost jumped up and down with excitement when I saw the buds forming

held up good with the storms last night & today

first scabiosia

I think this one might be Summer Olympics

these monkey flower seeded themselves from my un emptied pots from last year... FINALLY something seeded it's self that I like

I know I showed you guys these both before... but I just love em

AND THE BEST BLOOM OF ALL... first one of the year.... and it was good!