I do think sometimes when you're knee deep in patients and their diagnoses day in and day out, that you can lose sight of the fact that words like "malignant" are charged with the power to invoke fear. I'm guessing that he had no clue about how you view the word malignant as compared to what the word means to him.
Yikes. . . I'm really scared.
Good news!
I don't know, Katie. . . . I still like him, and he's the only show in town, so I'll keep going. (It's a rather narrow subspecialty.)
Yes, David, it's better news than I could have hoped for. We're all very happy and relieved! This thread has all the notes in it, so ♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫♫ ♫ ♫. And thank you, dear one, Patti, I did sleep well.
♫ ♫ ♫, Carrie
I am so HAPPY for you, Carrie . . . . I'm singing along - slightly off-key!
Oh, no, Carrie. I meant to sort of put his position into perspective. I really am sure that he didn't mean to scare you, it's just hard for them, who are in it every day, to totally understand what our reactions to information are going to be and how much information we really want them to give us.
If you like him, then make sure to tell him how you felt before. It'll help him to be a better doctor. :-)
Carrie, that's wonderful!!!! Yaaaaaay!! Now don't go driving into moving fire hydrants anymore!
My sentiments exactly, Harper! ♫ ♫ ♫ x, Carrie
I have had been fortunate to have had great and sensitive doctors, mostly....however over 20 years ago, I was with a young friend in pre-op for a mastectomy after her second bout with cancer, when a young Doctor came in and actually said to her in a most breezy way, "Which one are we lopping off"? I followed him out into the hall and said he was "Cruel and Insensitive" and when he blew me off, I told him he was also"rude".
After the operation I waited until her Senior Doctor was making his rounds with all his interns, including the offending young Doctor, I asked to speak to him privately in the hall. I told him what had been said and he seemed concerned, but anxious to continue his rounds. Just as if scripted, a very formal women with great presence appeared heading towards us. She greeted the Senior Doctor by his first name and then after giving me a hug and kiss and in a very concerned voice said, "Patti, why are you at the Hospital" (Mass Gen)? I told her about my friend's latest bout with cancer. I had introduced them 6 years before when my friend had her previous cancer treatments at Mass General. They had even corresponded about the need for an advocacy program for newly diagnosed young mothers with Breast Cancer at Mass Gen. That had been set up with my friend being one of the women who would speak to young newly diagnosed women. Now she was battling it again.
She than proceeded to explain to the Senior Doctor that I was the wife of her favorite nephew. All the while the obnoxious intern was looking more and more uncomfortable just down the hall. Then the Senior Doctor and DH's Great Aunt, who happened to be a very will known Trustee of Mass Gen, and I went back into the room to visit with my friend. When the Senior Doctor exited to the hall and turned to the group of interns to continue his rounds, he took the obnoxious one by his elbow aside. I don't know what was said, but he was never allowed to come into my friends room again that week while the Senior Doctor did his rounds. He did, however, upon seeing me a few days later in the hall, make a feeble attempt to apologize. I made a feeble attempt to accept. The Senior Doctor apologised to me in a most sincere way later too.
I am sure the jerk was a brilliant medical student, but clueless about one of the most important aspects of care sadly overlooked in the past, "bedside manners". I think they are far better at teaching that today.
I was happy to be able to voice my complaint, but I was very sad that it took "connections" to get a quick response. When I told my DH's Aunt what had happened, she was horrified. She is now in her 90's and still a "fixture" in the halls and is now a "Hon. Trustee". And my friend is doing just fine. She barely remembers the jerk. I won't ever forget him.
Carrie, tell your Doctor that you value is medical advice, but not his delivery. It might help. Patti
This message was edited Mar 16, 2008 2:46 PM
Wow. What a story.
Somehow i am picturing Frances Sternhagen on ER as your DH's aunt...
Patti has the greatest connections! I had a dream last night about getting our pictures taken with the Red Sox and getting gift bags and I was assigned a hostess/aide to look after my medication - kind of like a cross between the Aides I have now and a lady-in-waiting! Thank you, Patti, it was a lovely dream. ♫ ♫ ♫, Carrie
Amy, I will check now and see if there is a resemblance.
I looked at her in a new Broadway roll.
And Yes, You got it.
Just imagine a Frances type, small and trim with dark hair in one of those double bubble styles all perfectly in place and wearing a very tailored suit with a nice length of pearls at her neck and wearing pumps to match. She is warm as all get out and with that ability never to forget a name or face while actually really caring about every one she meets. But totally a no nonsense, hands-on person that is as dedicated and energetic as anyone. She is passionate about Mass Gen. She is a peach. Actually she was originally from the south. She has a great voice that still has a slightly southern lilt that seems to be able to extract huge sums of gift money for Mass Gen. Patti
Patti - did the pumps actually match the pearls? tee hee hee! ♫ ♫ ♫, Carrie
Carrie, Good one, but if she had been wearing a spring cream colored suit, everything would have matched including the pumps! But I think she was in navy that day. I was so busy trying to smile and at the same time trying to glare at the young doctor oaf just down the hall, that I don't remember exactly. Plus I have seen her so often working the halls at MGH that her outfits become a blurr. She has a commanding presence, but is always warm and friendly.
As for the RS, I am rooting for this guy to make the team. He has played well in ST and is a catcher. His BA is 357 in 11 games with 14 AB. Was he the one in your dream? Patti
And Patti, it IS before Easter, and thus really too early, technically, for white pumps, although I suppose some form of Winter White would have been ok. xx, Carrie
This happened 22 years ago, so I don't remember the month. I know I was just totally furious.
Easter is so ridiculously early this year. DH always explains how it is fixed on the calendar and I always forget on purpose. How the Easter bunny keeps track of it is beyond me. I think the old rules about wearing white after labor day, but not before Easter are no longer used. Like most rules of etiquette, it seems to be a thing of the past. Patti
I know, I know, I'm just playing with you. I wear white pumps exactly never, neither before nor after Mem. Day, Easter, Labor Day, or any other day, unless you count my white washable Keds, which I wear more in the summer. I tend to wear my black washable Keds more in the winter. I do change purses a lot, but more for fun than to follow any rules, and because I can only wear those two pair of shoes, white Keds and black Keds. ♫ ♫ ♫
Carrie, You don't really expect me to go on a spring outing with you to few the lilacs at a veneralble old Boston institution, like the Arboretum, unless you are wearing an appropriate spring hat, gloves and stockings, do you? Patent leather is best in May. Tsk-tsk.
You will be able to recognize me as the lady (term is propbably inappropriate) in the blue jeans, garden shoes and no hat, unless it is a Red Sox cap. Patti
I will have switched to my white Keds in honor of Spring and Lilacs. ♫ ♫ ♫, Carrie
Well, that should make Emily P. very happy. Patti