Yikes. . . I'm really scared.

Carrie,
Thank you for helping me find this. My thoughts & wishes & prayers are with you too. Wish I could think of something wise to say. Just know that I'm here, friend.
David

Thanks, Dave, I just want my whole team on one thread, and thanks for your positive thoughts.

Sorry up there, I think some polyp/small tumors can be totally benign lumps of misguided flesh, like a skin tag type of thing. (I'm so sorry, I know you have a real name, I just can't recall what it is....)

x, Carrie

NP Carrie. I couldn't make it to the last round up so I completely understand if people can't remember my name.. I'm the one that's pregnant and DH didn't want me driving there by myself.. We ended up out of town anyways that weekend...

As for the polyps, the doc I went to in Hartford didn't biopsy it.. And he said it looked benign and not to worry. Guess that's that then.. Hope he's right.. Not much I can do now..

In the meantime, guess we'll just worry about you instead.. All our thoughts and prays are with you now.. Remember, positive thinking.. Mind over matter.. With that, you can overcome just about everything.. :)

OH have you had your baby yet???? How is that going? Yes, I knew I knew you! Yeah right, mind over matter, will it fix the hot water heater so I can have a hot shower? (Once a week is good, right?) (I've always got to have something to complain about!) x, Carrie

LOL Carrie.. If you think about the hot water heater enough, you call the plumber to fix it, right?? :) The baby's not out yet.. Doc said any time in March I can pop.. Got everyone calling to see if I popped yet and I keep telling everyone, "obviously if I'm answering the phone, I'm not in labor.." LOL.. So if the baby comes early, we might be in the hospital at the same time.. Just different hospitals..

Have to admit, I finally am at the point that everyone one complains about.. I just can't seem to get comfortable anymore.. No matter how I sit, stand, lie down, etc.. **sigh** I keep telling myself, it's all in my head.. But nope.. Apparantly that mind over matter thing doesn't work with pregnany either..

Hopefully, MOST of it's in your womb!!!! Hang in there, at this point, a few extra weeks will really help him/her when s/he is born (vs. being early). (Been there, done that, too.)

Yerp, the plumber sleeps on a cot in the basement now.... practically. He keeps "saving" us money by not replacing the expensive part he's afraid is broken, so it takes 15 different house calls (and 35 different cold showers) not to fix it! I wish he'd just spend our $500 and fix the darn thing! Instead he spends $250 not fixing it but saving us money? Grrrrrrr. And we can't get a new plumber because this one put in most of the stuff in the basement.

x, Carrie

Hey Carrie.............be strong! That is what I heard before my first operation.
I had trigeminal neuralgia, or better known as the suicide disease. I was on many pills, too that either made me tired, sick or just not myself. It was hard for my boys and my husband. He helped find a good neurosurgeon and here I am today.
I have someone else to thank in all this mess that my family and I have been through......Pirl; who's been thanked many times, but I guess I just won't cease. She held my hand and my husbands' over our very own "Dave's Garden" gardening thread throughout my first operation, my second time in the hospital and the third time the Doc's had to open up my skull. She knows how to be strong, she's been there.
i know it's not easy to be on the inside; I was a baby at times, too.
But I'm home now, knocking on wood every time a Sunday passes and I'm not in the hospital. (It seemed that on a Sunday, something would happen...a nosebleed, some leakage from the scar area.....).
Enough of my poop! You just have to know that you will be in all our prayers. We will be thinking of you, and you will be home again and able to be out in the garden just in time for spring weeding ! That ought to keep your mind busy.......seriously, positive thinking, and best wishes, Alice.

Thanks, Alice, yes, I'm trying my best to be strong! strong! strong! strong! Sundays are ok, it's Februarys I can't seem to make it through. (Or should that be Februaries?) Glad, very glad you're still with us! How long ago was your TN dx?

x, Carrie

Hold on tight Carrie. We are all thinking of you even those of us new on the thread. Our middle daughter just had fibroids removed Jan. l and she is now on a sailboat in the Carribean. She is 44. You younger people recover faster than some of us older ones. Sorry that your car is a scardy cat, doesn't help when you are worried.

I had the operation on January 18th this year. I was extremely sick since before Christmas. Then I was back in the hospital 2x in February. So, febrauries are tough for me, too I guess.
Other people have had it rougher than I. This could go on for years with meds and pain.

ooops, typo. It's Februaries.
Tough one to type or sometimes just go through, normally.

Yikes for you too, Alice! I nearly died about three different times in one February, and DD#2 nearly died by being born too soon - in February. I'm not buying the replacement van (used, of course, and big and clunky and converted) until it's definitely March!

Cheers for us! That we're all alive and well (more or less) and posting!

x, Carrie

Yes! Cheers for all of us!
Take care and think positive.
Alice

That is, at least, the plan. (Off to look up TN - I know I've heard of it. It's one if the things I don't have.)

Eh, don't spend time on learning about TN, build up your own defences and have a good operation.
If it makes you feel any better, I have great neighbors who are 85 years old each. They're like parents to me; I see them often and look after them. They're very active, the wife, Dot has diabetes and the husband, Don had a cancerous kidney removed last year. Of course he was very scared and I watched his attitude about many things change................right down to his favorite pasttime - painting. Something he's very good at.
They did laproscopic surgery and removed his kidney in some type of mesh-like bag to reduce the spread of the cancer.
They have been very worried about me, now. I go across the street to their home and shoot the breeze on occasion, and all seems to be well. He is his old self again.................they go out almost every night to dine and they go up the island to see their kids and grandkids almost every weekend. They also like to fly.
I tried to think of him and be strong, but when it's you, and it's happening to you, the here and now, it's not that easy.

Just know you will be well, and happy and all this will be behind you.
By the way, I'm going to be 48 this year, so age has nothing to do with it............we're still young, like irisMA said, so healing is easier.!

When is your birthday, Alice, we may be the same age for a few months. I'll be 47 in May! Yerp, attitude really helps, until the last minute and it's ME they're talking about. I looked up TN, and it sounds nearly as much fun as MS has been. I used to talk about throwing myself out the window, which wouldn't do much good because our house is one-story. That was when I had a bad husband and no kids. You can't give up when you have kids, and now I have a wonderful husband, so I have to be brave for him too. One week from now I'll be fasting. (Pre-surgery...) thinking strong, brave, wimpy thoughts... Carrie

hey, just be good to yourself. Yes, you do have to be strong for the fam, but as I've learned, taking care of yourself helps a lot, too.
I'm sorry you've had it so tough, but like I said things will get better,as they have for you, even though you probably can't see that now.
I couldn't either. You learn a lot going through tough times and you come to realize there are other people out there who have it tougher and survive.
I will be 48 on May 18th. How about you? When will you turn 47?
Signed,
a bull

Whoops, a week off. I'll be 47 on May 25 - the 18th is my little brother's birthday! May is a great month for birthdays, no? My mother's in the 24, I have 2 aunts that day too (on different sides of the family), cousins on all sides in May, my step-daughter is May 27!

But I don't have to be a bull! I get to be of two minds about everything - or do I?

I'm not quite sure of the next zodiak sign.....................hmmmm.

My twin boys were born the day after mothers day on the 14th the year of 1990, my Goddaughter's birthday is on the 13th and my father-in-laws' is on the 3rd.
Yes, it's a good month for birthdays.
Well, time for me to go, I still get tired fast, I'm told to go with it. You know everyone who said that to me is right. I fall asleep fast; body is still healing.
Goodnight,
Alice.

After Taurus comes Gemini. :)
Because of the stupid MS, I'm supposed to need 14 hours of sleep a night - but I've found it depends primarily on the drugs medications I'm on. My current regimen includes lots of extra uppers to counteract the tranquilizing effect of all the muscle relaxers. I'm more likely to have a touch of insomnia. [My kids are being brainwashed not to take drugs from school, the gov't etc., and they say "don't say drugs, Mom, say MEDICATION!

And btw, half of my MEDICATION makes me sick to my stomach unless I take it with food and now I'm stressing about which drugs I can and can't take before surgery because I have morning and afternoon pills to get through with just clear liquid.

We've been watching movies (which we hardly ever do) and eating junk food (which we really almost never do) and talking to car salesmen (which I prefer not to do) so we don't have to think about the unthinkable.

Only one week and a few hours left to go .... then I guess we just wait for the results of the biopsy, except he says he knows what the results of the biopsy are going to be.

driving myself crazy.....
Carrie

Hang in there Carrie. You have your mind now, don't lose that!

I do? Wait - it was around here somewhere... I know I had it... what happened to it? Help, help, I'm losing my mind!!! I've lost my mind oh, there, I think I found it, sorry. x, C

i've been trying so hard to think of something profound to say, and it just isn't coming to me.
So, my thoughts are with you. Be well, and know there are lots of people here who care about you - i'm just one of them!


amy
*

Thanks, Amy. By this time next week, it will be over with! And DG is a wonderful distraction. I don't need to think about nasties that are growing uninvited in my bladder - I can think about warm weather, and flowers, and basil, and monarchs, and geranium Rozanne, and and and.

There isn't really a good answer for me, either, besides thank you for visiting my wailing wall. I mean I am old enough for this kind of stuff, and just because i didn't know i was at risk for cancerous polyps in my bladder doesn't it make it not so, I was just shocked, no, I was flabbergasted. But things happen, and I guess I was just in the right place at the wrong time, or the other way around.

I am trying to think positive and eat healthy and sleep tight and stay on the sunny side and look for the silver lining and let go and let God and everything else i can think of, LOL, if you think of anything I've left out, just let me known, please!

x, Carrie

Carrie, just found this thread, and well, YoungThing, remember we have a date with the lilacs in May and I now see that we also need to celebrate your B-day too. Get over this crap quick. I have been reading too much about Syringa to not have our walk/wheel together. Where is your March 6th surgery? Strength, love, and admiration for your remarkable attitude. Patti

The Brigham & Women's, and it's only day surgery unless I get one of my signature BP headaches. Thank you Patti, and I'll be there Lilac Thursday or Lilac Monday or whatever day that's not Sunday we choose! Er, if I'm Young Thing, what does that make you, lol! My step-mother, well, she was my step-mother for a few years, used to call me Sweet Young Thing when she looked like a goddess and I was pimply and heavy and teenage. Now I feel like a goddess (with a tumor) and I have teenagers who are pimply and heavy.

Thank you, Patti, for stopping by. x, Carrie

Alice, Good thoughts for you too! You've been through a lot.

Thanks very much, Dave47. I'm on the healing road and in the meantime planning lots of fun things to do in my "spare time" in the gardens.
Yeah, it's tough to go through a surgery, and everyone needs some kind of support.
Good luck, Carrie, talk to you after the big day.................and you won't need some of those med either. I know I was off 1 immediately then gradually the others, too.
Hey, I love syringa, have fun with them!

Alice, where is your thread? x, Carrie

I'm not quite sure how to fix that, so I can be on the thread with you guys..........................I'm not good with computers yet.

Go to your thread, copy what's in the address bar at the top of the screen (usually highlight it and hold down the 'ctrl' button and the letter C at the same time, then come back here and push ctrl V. Or ask your friend Pirl, she knows how for sure!

We're just so nosy friendly, inclusive and welcoming; we want to be there for you too!

Alice, it's wonderful that you say

Ok, thanks, I'll give it a whirl...............

Oh my God! It's That Week. My husband - I love him to death - keeps saying things like "if anything ever happened to you I would cease to exist" and then I have to say "everything's going to be fine, sweetie, don't worry." Part of me is frantic, and needing to worry! xx, Carrie

Aw, yeah, you need a place to let your fears out.

Yerp. This IS no big deal, right?

I'm still thinking about you and wishing you well Carrie. Last week was crazy in the grandson sitting dept. and I wasn't on-line very much. We're back to normal (if there is a normal) this week cause Colin goes home at night. Only a few more days to be anxious and then the surgery will be over. Take care. Eleanor

Back to a computer tonight, I have been without part of my trip. Too strange. I spent the day at Mass Gen with a dear friend. I am taking her back to Maine to recover from an operation tomorrow, if they let her out. I am amazed at how much better the routine of waiting has gotten in the last few years there. They made a huge effort to keep me informed as to what was going on and making the waiting room comfortable. Kudos to Mass Gen. Hosp. I have spent time at B&W and had wonderful care there. Plus your DH is a peach.

Fear is healthy. When it is over and you are on the mend, that fear will become a flood of joy when you think of all that you have that is precious. Why would you not fear in losing that which you love? Just take a deep breath now and again and take charge ot it. Accept it, but tell it that in lives in you and that you are allowing it a little romp, but only for a short time. Lilac's await, but never on a Sunday. Way to many peepers to navigate through. I am good to go any day that works for you. Patti

Now, there is some wisdom!

Any day that they are bloomin' blooming, Patti, if you catch my drift. Yeah, fear is definitely having a romp tonight. I'm looking at shoes and seeds and such online... anything not to dwell on what I don't want to get mired in.

I used to be a real trooper. And I'm sure I will be tomorrow and Thursday. It's just nice to let my inner wimp come out and play. (And embarrassing. I take great pride on being tougher than this stuff, mere cancer shouldn't be slowing me down.)

xxxxxxx to you all, Carrie

Good luck tomorrow and Thursday Carrie.