Michaela, often MD's will decrease their charges if you ask for a lower rate. Our dentist charges half price to my DH as he has to go 3 x year instead of the 2 x year the insurance plan covers. It's worth a try.
Water Cooler - 3
If you were assured it would be covered, don't pay it! Lots of times they send out bills before waiting to be paid by the ins. co.
Sometimes they like to be paid on both ends!! I've had that happen and then you can't get your money back - you recieve credit!! I don't usually have a problem with the doctor's office cause we go to a doctor that belongs to a group but I've had trouble with dentists before. One had our account so mixed up I couldn't figure out what was going on. They were sending one bill that included both DH and me and then we found out they were billing my insurance company instead of his and we had a big mess. No wonder they kept denying claims. I had a family plan because of the kids so the dentist just dumped DH in there also. We have changed dentists now and if I ask the book keeper if something has been paid yet she will just tell me to wait cause they are working on it. I guess my rambling is to tell you, Seandor, to check with the dentist and remind them they said it was covered!! I've had a lot of trouble with insurance companies over the years and I have lost work days because of them. DD#2 was anorexic in her early 20's when she was in college. If she didn't stay in school we didn't have health insurance on her and then my employer changed plans and they didn't cover mental health unless treated in a general hospital. At that point I didn't care if I got to work one day a week! Glens Falls emergency room sent her home after cutting herself and they said she had superficial wounds!! Should have been admitted to the MHU but she told them she got cut on a broken cup so they sent her home. The cuts were obviously from cutting. She went to Ellis Hospital once and had a room with a bathroom and they did nothing - it was a holding tank for mentally ill patients. We had a great hospital to send her to but it was a private mental hospital and my insurance didn't cover a private place. It actually had programs to help patients and rules. When my DD weighed 75 pounds she had a guard who watched her 24 hours a day - even in the bathroom and shower!! They were out to save her life and help her. When she was doing some outpatient there I got a call and they took the car keys away from her and admitted her. I had to leave work that day so I could get her admitted and try to get some insurance coverage to help with the bills. I would spend hours on the phone with the insurance company and I let my employer know about the trouble I was having. It was a horrible couple years of my life. Enough rambling !! Eleanor
Eleanor - that did sound horrible. Glad it's in the past for you.
I'm sitting here watching a squirrel build a nest in our tree, it seems an odd time of year for it to be doing that. He/she is taking the leaves I have spread over the garden, wadding them up in it's mouth and running back and forth up the tree.
That is terrible Eleanor. Glad it's over. Deb - baby squirrels coming!
Is it Spring?
it sure felt like it yesterday...
Doesn't now. It's snowing - not sticking though.
Oh, Eleanor, what a horrible time you and your daughter went through! I do hope she has recovered from that horrible illness. The whole body image thing is a serious problem - especially with some very young girls. So sad.
Thanks guys! Anorexia is a horrible illness and very devastating to the whole family. You feel very helpless and guilty and it is so hard to treat. DD#2 is doing well with weight but has other issues also. Anorexic people have depression, distorted views of things, and lie very well. It's one fo the reasons I'm so involved in Colin's care - to make sure he's being taken care of properly. We've always been open about the illness and not kept it hidden like some families have. The reason for that is her cousin, had a bit of anorexia according to her parents, did not open up about her illness. DD always looked up to this cousin and tried to be like her - clothes, slender body, social life, eating habits, exercise, etc. She was everything my DD wanted to be and that everything turned out to be an illness. Maybe my DD would have taken a different road in life if she realized her cousin had anorexia. But then again the fact that she wasn't comfortable with her own body and life and needed to copy someone else is a warning sign of trouble. I don't want any other young girl copying DD's life style. DD is now married ( to a very needy person also), has a good job, and a lovely son and that has helped her grow up and accept some responsibility. She still makes very bad choices and unfortunately the whole family ends up involved in the consequences. All of you with young children, even boys, need to be aware of the dangers of body image and the harm it can cause. Eleanor
Thanks for talking about it, Eleanor. It's a serious matter and parents have to be on the lookout for it, as well as for so many other things.
Eleanor,
That is one of the toughest things in the world to cope with. I wish her (and You) continued success. As you know, its complicated.
Insurance now has to treat mental health like physical health issues but much of what you experienced continues (Spending 10 hours in the ED with your suicidal kid only to be discharged as not suicidal enough, insurance only paying for outpatient treatments that are inadequate to address the problem) When I started in my profession, when someone had a seious problem, the hard part was getting them to agree to be hopitalized (or go to rehab). Now that is just the beginning. Treatment decisions are all made by insurance co.
Thanks for listening. Eleanor
That entire anorexia issue is so trajic, especially for young girls. The media, I feel, is to blame for it. They glorify these painfully thin actresses and send the message that looking like that is the ONLY acceptable way to look, and kids are so inundated with it, it's no wonder they buy it. It's everywhere you look anymore.
There is something inherently wrong with these young kids basing their self worth on their body shapes, rather than what they are on the inside. They need more positive role models...not super models.
Paris (capital of the fashion industry), is not interested in what little girls need, the market is interested in what sells- 'money makes the world go round'. Have you heard of size '0'? - it exists!
We just got here (to sort of sunny Oakland CA) from boston on, of course, jetBlue, where they have FREE TV. I watched a couple seasons of Sex & the City and the worst part ids the stupid commercials! "I used to be a (healthy) size 12 but I took XYZ diet supplement/weight loss plan/food substitute and now I'm a size 4!!!! [results not typical.] We only watch House Tuesdays at 9 and THAT'S IT! But the rest of the country, ESPECIALLY kids who are watching either cartoons who are stick figures or real people with anorexic actresses or obese comedians - well, I see why we watch so little TV. That's enough ranting. xx, Carrie
Wow - our ratings (postings) are way down for last week!! I think that just means we spent a lot of time with our families during the holiodays - as it should be!! I'm glad I brought up the issue of anorexia to make more people aware of it's prevalence. We always think it can't happen to our family but it can and does! There are a lot more issues involved that just the media such as the mental personality of the child. One person can look at those anorexic models and think they look beautiful and another thinks they look gross! We need to make sure that our children are comfortable with their own bodies and self confident enough that they don't want to be like someone else. As I look back on my DD's childhood I can see there were some signs of problems - worried about her looks, always wanted to be dressed like everyone else and to be accepted socially. My older DD could care less about those things - she does her own thing and the h#@* with it if others don't like it. She's not married and turned down several offers cause she wants the right person. She doesn't need a man to make her complete - something DD#2 always seemed to need as if there was something wrong with her if she didn't have a boyfriend to hang onto!! How could I have two children that were so different? DD#1 was a wiz in school and DD#2 had to work harder and I also think that played a role - she decided that she would become beautiful and popular and get through school that way!! There are lots of good books out there about anorexia - I've read many over the years to help us understand the illness and what goes on in their minds. Helping our children avoid this illness starts the day we bring them home from the hospital after birth and our own attitudes about body size and health. I was clueless until it was too late and I don't want that to happen to anyone else. Eleanor
The one consistency in this thread regarding health issues is the LACK of consistency regarding care when health care is a for-profit business.
As someone who grew up with a universal health care system, having to deal with insurance companies is harrowing.
As for the dentist - what makes me made is they led me to believe that the insurance would cover stuff - and then it turns out the insurance company doesn't. The dentist tries to sell me - get this! mouthwash at $21 a small bottle. sigh. Am I missing something here?
Eleanor - how dreadful for you and your daughter - makes my little problems totally insignificant. I hope her troubles are all in the past, and life just keeps improving for her (and you!).
My cousin had a son that was anorexic - so it's not limited to girls.
Michaela - drop that dentist!! Is he the one who told you it would be covered? If so, report him to the insurance company.
Michaela, it does sound like you need a new dentist. Ours is wonderful, so good ones are out there.
In fact, the 2 times I was in the hospital, all my docs only charged me what the insurance covered, and dropped any extra charges.
Dentists are HORRIBLE! I wait for the pain to get bad so I dont feel the pain when I take out my wallet!!
Eleanor,
I really believe that part of these things is genetic. Brain science is coming a long way toward explaining more. One siblings drinks and moderates, the other is an alcholic. One child is mellow, another is just wired to be anxious.
Not to say we can't create problems in our kids, we can. But it is more complicated than that.
All the best in the New Year!
You're right Dave47. Daughter number one is a social butterfly - and was quite daring as a child. Daughter number two is wired completely differently - very cautious, even as a child.
But both daughters also enjoy solitude - they don't need someone else constantly entertaining them.
On the other hand, both my bil and sil need to be surrounded by people and constantly in "relationships" - both have been married three times.
Absolutely. My brother and sister are very different from me. I think I was left at my parents' doorstep.
Sad case in point with friends. One, who was practically attached to my brother's hip, went on to abuse drugs and died from AIDS, due to dirty needles. His older brother, who did everything to try to protect him (they had a single mom who was always working), was always straight and narrow. He was a great athlete and that was his outlet. Happens all the time and I'm sure the parents treat them similarly, etc.
That is sad . . . rats. I am trying to clear off all my threads and I wanted to leave on an upbeat note. This is not it.
Sorry to be a bummer. Let's hope '08 is happier for all of us!
Happy New Year, everyone. May we never have to carry more than we can hold.
Unless we're leaving a nursery.
Without paying.
Or without a spouse to help us!
Maybe we should change the name of this thread to "SNOW Cooler" for the winter!
Back to "WORK" for me today. My lifting restrictions have benn lifted (actually gradually started lifting a week ago) and I have Colin full time today. We can play with our new Christmas toys!! Yea!! Eleanor
Have fun!
Oh, Eleanor, is that the elevated parking garage I see that you and Colin are about to play with? My son and I had a ball playing with that!! LOL Brings back such fun memories!! Glad your restrictions have been lifted....that's a good sign!!
Louise - yes it is and he is climbing on some large foam blocks that I got him. He is so active and climbing on the blocks keeps him busy. Eleanor
Eleanor...that picture is too funny...looks like Bert or Ernie (whichever one it is) just got flattened by the boy !
Victor's restrictions were lifted too. He can now get an hour a day outside in the "yard"
JD - you need to watch Sesame Street. That is Elmo. LOL I can see where you might be a little confused cause he has clothes on, but he's red and has eyes on the top of his head!! Everything in Colin's way gets flattened or thrown!! Eleanor
Yes, the warden is very generous when it's below 20 degrees.
I wonder if they still tie VG to the clothesline when he's allowed outside !
Eleanor...I thought I was pretty close on Bert and Ernie...one of my nieces used to look like Big Bird when she was little. She was really tall and skinny and had this curly curly blonde hair and for some odd reason, they always dressed her in yellow.
She's now 6' 1" tall, still blonde and plays volleyball for UC Irvine.
Not the mascot I hope!