Elanor - you are much nicer than me - I simply would not have allowed the game in my house.
My mil was a sweetie in most things, but every once in a while I had to be VERY firm and remind her that I was the mother and I set the rules.
I think she was disappointed - she wanted little granddaughters that were dressed in pink and played with Barbies -and what she got were two tomboys that grew into very self-reliant, independent women. We used to go catch bugs and snakes together (the girls and I, not mil)
Water Cooler - 3
I was a VERY good DIL to the horrible mother of my horrible husband (father of DDs #1 and #2). (In no particular order) I took her to the cardiologist while she was dying, i brought her Domino Dots (her favorite snack), I took her out to Brigham's, while I was 8 mos pregnant, while I was a fiancee, while I was a mother of one, then two grandchildren, while I was separated from her horrible son I still called her to check on her (because her own children disliked her so much) until my sister-in-law, or I guess my future-former-sister-in-law sent me a registered certified notarized letter saying leave my mother alone. I HAD to go to her funeral - XH couldn't handle the girls by himself, for one thing - and her other kids - my ex-in-laws - were all over me "Wow, we haven't seen you in so long, how ARE you, it's been so LONG, you look fanTAStic" (once I got rid of your brother I started feeling a lot better, actually!) x, C
It was impossible to set rules with my MIL. I tried to limit the amount of candy my two girls had because they were both very hyper. She still brought it over to them. She brought Valentine candy to them one night and the next morning we were going on a road trip to Syracuse to be with my parents for a few days - I didn't want them sugared up before the trip. She told the kids your mother doesn't want you to have this but I'm giving it to you anyway and I want you to have candy. I pushed her out the door and threw her coat after her. My DH wasn't home - referring a basketball game - and I called the school but there was no answer. Soooo, I called the State Police to go get him and have him call me. I was upset and told him I just physically threw your mother out of the house. He was mad cause the game was haulted while he called me - his partner told him to lighten up cause i was obviously traumatized by the whole situation. I never had the support of DH that I needed in dealing with his mother or anything for that matter. He can't deal with his mother either. She worked in a jewerly store and we bought our rings from there - I didn't get the one she wanted so she called me after she got home and told me it was a piece of junk and was i happy now with my selection!! I should have cancelled the rings, the wedding and run as fast as i could but love is blind and makes you do really stupid things. I would like to write a book and give it to her on her death bed to read - see I'm not very saintly - i want her to feel as rotten as she made me feel. Her other DIL prays for forgiveness very night cause of the way she feels and thinks about her. My daughter's, especially #1 can't stand to be in the same room with her. DD#2 is better but only because MIL buys her presents and she loves getting presents. Oh well, enough complaining. I should probably write the book just to make me feel better (not give it to her though) and maybe burn it to put those things out of my mind and life!! (thanks Amy for the suggestion in seeking encouragement) Eleanor
I think that my XMIL wants to like me, but she's too caught up in doing 'what seems to be right'. So, she hates me ... but comes to my house to visit.
Check out the articles today - Cat and Jan!!
Funny thing - it can be so strangely different. When my parents got divorced, my grandmother (father's mother) was still very nice to my mother, all her SIL's all treated her the same way, as my cousins started to get married, my mother and then she and her boyfriend then husband were invited to the weddings, which drove my father nuts. When I got divorced, his family ditched me. Although none of my nieces - or HIS nieces - get married, they just get pregnant. I'm really grouchy today. x, C
I was married twice - to the same man, even. Didn't learn the first time, so divorced him again. Now, I've learned! Not married, and not even thinking about it!
When a dear friend got divorced her XMIL treated her horrible until she saw her son's next choice as her future DIL. It was the worst possible pick in her eyes. Then her other son got divorced. By then the XMIL finally realised my friend was a true gem and it was her philandering and lazy son that had ruined the marriage so she actually tried to get my friend to marry the divorced brother and come back into the family. She didn't marry him, but the XMIL started to treat her as family again which was great for the kids. It worked out well for all, as she became in the last 20 years of her life very close to my friends daughter, which would never have happened if she had stayed the nasty XMIL that she was for about 10 years. She lived to 100 so you can teach an old MIL new tricks. If you are lucky.
Carrie and Candyce, you were not so lucky. I never saw my X's parents after we were divorced. They were sweet nice folks, who didn't get involved in our life nor did they travel, so it was blissful. We had no kids, or it would have probably been different.
My X married the sister of a good friend and had kids with her and now he is getting divorced again after 30 years. I am getting calls about how he is behaving. Nothing changed, and a " I told you so" is in order. But I am trying to bite my tongue, because it makes all my anger about him well up again. Her family (and she) is saying why didn't we listen, but they have all put up with his nonsense for all these years. The only good things is that he will not ever be on Nantucket again in the summer as this is her family's home, and they live many states away in the winter. He won't be able to freeload off anyone here again. The final bridge (ferry) to Nantucket is burned. I am enjoying the fire.
I love my DG family. Well almost all of them, I had a couple of nasty encounters with a couple of wackos from out of the blue, well cyberspace. But after a brief verbal battle in Dmail, I just put them on ignore, by a simple click. Love that. But they must have attacked others too and those must have actually complained to dear Dave as he banished them. He later reinstated one. I avoid her like the plague as I think she will go off anytime. Patti
Wow - lots of 'war stories'. I've been fortunate.
Victor, no you just don't attract anyone but fun loving and slightly sarcastic people with your joy and wit and irreverence, plus some real garden knowledge. But I wouldn't assume you are totally safe. They are out there.
I must incite loose cannons with all my verbiage, but I swear I was dumb struck at annoying someone so much as to incite a barrage of angry and pointless dmails about me supporting someone's choice of the color sage green for her kitchen wall paint and another about my thought that Dave's choice of using pink and purple colors for HIS website on the Dmail Banner was OK. Too bizarre.
May they all go somewhere else with their thorns and barbs. I do like cactus, however. Patti
Thanks Patti. I was referring to the marriage ones, not the DG ones. I've had a few 'moments' on DG also. There is never a shortage of people who have to find some reason to stir up trouble.
Victor, I have had a winner since I met him in 1976. He is so supportive of my garden foolishness and everything else I do that would annoy the common man. I can even get him to weed, sometimes. Plus he "Hoovers". And he always hauls my piles to the compost. Now that is worth everything to me. Plus he bought me a new computer that is Tom Terrific. No more frozen screens or ones that go bright green and wiggle or take 30 Min's to start in the morning.
His first question everyday when he wakes up is "How's Dave". I think he likes me being on DG as he loves all the weird stuff I learn about and then share with him. He found a very phallic mushroom in the woodpile and rushed in with pictures to have me post to get an ID. It was a common, but unknown to us, http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/785620/ I got a swift answer, so he was thrilled. Me too, love DG sans the wackos with their stir sticks. Patti
bbrook...LOL at your "enjoying the fire" of the bridge !!!
3 of my sisters married friends of MINE....now THAT gets weird after a while !
(Just kidding...they all worked out fine. )
That's a double-edged sword, Mike!
Tell me about it ! I got paranoid after a while, thinking that when I made new pals, they'd end up being related to me !
I will carry more secrets to my grave...this is such an unfair burden!
two new NH subscribers today:
drzzsheehan - Amherst, NH
gamekeeper - New Boston, NH
think it's the political ads driving them to it?
(and one NY: ronrog3 Fairport, NY)
...probably disgusted by the dismal choices.
I am voting write in for "Victor".
Hey!! not a bad idea...Victor For President! We should hold our own elections!☺
I like that idea......I'm writing in Victor's name on my ballot!! Hopefully, it won't be a dimpled chad down here....We'll see!!
Platform: Vision thing in 08 and beyond, Scattelogical ramblings and desultory humor in the White House and a water cooler in every home. Patti
Totally cool! Drat . . . I can't even vote . . . but if I could vote, I would seriously consider writing in your name Victor - or maybe pirl, or harper, or Al, or Cat, or Candyce, or Dave47, or . . . gosh . . .everyone's name!
Seandor, I am sure Victor will open all the voting to anyone who owns a trowel and knows what a dibble is and is willing to plant a dwarf Conifers. And any border fences to be built will be a living fence. Patti
Patti, I'm with you. No kids in first marraige and I didn't ever see my in-laws again. It (no kids) makes divorce so much easier. You don't have to keep having the same fights.
Well, to late for my first divorce then - might as well stay married! lol actually I am very lucky to have My Dave.
Louise, where are you voting? xx, Carrie (suddenly seemed like a terribly important question....)
We're voting here in Florida.......
DonnnieBrook, But your vote won't count, how screwed up is our system. Taking no sides. Patti
Oh, I get it!
Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be trying so hard to find somebody to vote for!!! LOL We do get a vote that counts on the Constitutional amendment question here that may lower our property taxes a bit.
Hunh? Please explain,,,,,,,,, x, C
Great Water Cooler stuff! It's amazing to see how our minds work ...
And, thanks for the compliment. But ... 'If elected, I will not serve' comes to mind. Well, perhaps I'll serve chocolate and coffee - two of my life staples.
I'll take a cup of half hot chocolate and half coffee
Carrie, both the National Democratic and Republican Committee’s have decided that they may penalize some states by not seating at their national convention the delegates from the state’s that moved up their state primary elections without permission of the National Party Bosses. This may include FL, Michigan and a few others. Too confusing and may just be a big bluff. but it may mean that if you vote in the FL primary that your vote will not be distributed when trying to nominate a candidate at the National Convention. I personally think they will count, if not actually, but certainly emotionally however. The party bosses may do something more symbolic than actually ignore the voters of FL and Mich and a few others. I think they might not let the delegates on the floor of the convention during the vote or into the big IN parties or perhaps give them itty bitty signs or no signs and take away their mike time to give their state tally. No "I, x, from the great state of blah blah" would be allowed. It is always an ad campaign for the state which is worth big bucks to Fl to get tourist and Mich to sell cars, I guess. Sad that our votes are so controlled by others on both sides of the isle. Patti
Thanks for the nomination! Major tax break for gardeners!!
Getting a bit long. Started a new thread. Bring your votes over here:
http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/802455/