About Those Manners

I think that is everywhere and if not soon will be!

I consider mine a "leash"...it's actually pd. for by my boss, but I'm the only one who uses it. It always rings at the worst times...like when I'm driving...as often as I have told them that I only have 2 hands, and can't shift and steer, AND hold the stupid thing, they STILL keep calling...and 9 times out of 10, it's NOTHING important.

Jasper, have you asked your boss for headphones? If he
expects you to be chained to the cell phone while driving,
he should at least provide the means to be safe about it.

Ditto on what Wuvie says!! I don't even pick up my cell while driving unless it is the ring assigned to DH and if it's not an emergency I tell him I will call back when parked! We all know the next danger....text messaging while driving. Oh my is there a stink here about it! Never understood texting but a bit older that teens.

Yes, they are going to HAVE to get me the bluetooth/headphone thing soon, because it's going to be the law here in '08.

I don't even know how to text message, and don't want to learn !

Newhobby, you're okay in my book. While I don't have kids myself (or at least, mine are four-footed, furry, and don't speak clearly), I do understand that even the smallest of people can have issues. My biggest complaint is the parents who aren't even trying to "parent". They seem totally unaware that there is anything wrong with their child screaming and pounding things, or running full tilt thru the store and running into people and things. Of course, "I" was a perfect child, but I know that not all parents are so lucky (it's a good thing my Mom has gone home after the holiday *G*).
Anyway, as long as the situation is being addressed, I can handle it, at least for a while:).

My kids are behaved enough to not run around. David is always strapped into the cart and when Rose walks she stays by the cart. We are lucky in that aspect and never had any issues with her trying to run through the store. Yet another thing to be thankful for! She has almost always been an easy child....David can be a pain but a lot easier than other boys I have seen. DH and I were talking the other night about how lucky we are with these two and how horrid the third would be so we decided to count our blessings and not to have anymore ;0)

Mike, I just got my husband's old phone with bluetooth headset - it's great! I can just slip it on while I'm driving and if he calls I can answer - before I would just wait until I stopped somewhere. Voice dialing is so useful, too. I love hand-me-downs! I even have talking GPS now so I won't get lost. :-) Very few people have my cell phone number, so it is a useful tool and not a distraction.

Newhobby, you're my kind of mom!

Awww *blushing* I try! I have been accused by the in-laws of being too strict but now that they see how well behaved their grandchildren are they have laid off on the strictness and only spoil the kids when I am not looking! I don't mind the spoiling now that the kids know their limits and do a bit myself...right now they are having hot chocolate and little gingerbread men, a real treat in anticipation of real holiday weather- Rain!!! LOL!

Kathleen, sounds much easier to deal with! I must admit though, they ARE better than having a stupid PAGER.

I try to make a point of complimenting parents on their well behaved children when I'm in public. Many times, they reply: "Oh...today is a GOOD day...you don't even want to know ..." LOL

Most of the time they are speaking honestly!!! I know I've said that before! I even ask if they want my kids! I always get a chuckle and it makes me feel good when someone compliments them on good behavior!

I bought DH one of those bluetooth headsets and he doesn't use it. He said it is a pain and doesn't always pick up...not sure if it's defective or he just doesn't like it. He has speaker phone though and puts the phone in his shirt pocket to talk while driving. Not the safest but better than shifting and holding the phone I guess. I wonder if the bluetooth would work with my phone...after I find a job I think I will play around with it.

DH just got one of the new "noise canceling" headsets and it's a little quirky right now, but he loves it. He is sometimes in the car, in the factory, or the computer room, and uses it all day - he forgets it's there.

We return anything that doesn't work out of the box and try another brand. Depends on the phone, the network, etc., I guess. Mine is a Jabra and is light and comfortable. YMMV

BTW, my stepson was raised with good manners and the best thing his parents remember was how people would say he was welcome to visit any time - with or without them. His mother still carries tiny toys in her purse in case she runs into a fractious child in a restaurant, etc. I remember my brother (a very impatient man!) telling me he wanted to get up and smack a guy once who was yelling at his little boy for stirring his water with his spoon (copying his dad stirring cream into his coffee).What is a child to do with all that energy when forced to sit still?

I know what you mean!!! We always have crayons and paper in the backpack that takes the place of the diaper bag. I try to keep books and a car in there too. Then there are times (we don't dine out often) when he just wants to go and refuses to sit! In those cases, one of us just follow him around and keep him out of the waiters way until the food arrives. He never runs and I know the other patrons appreciate watching a curious little boy walk around as opposed to being tied down and screaming!

Yelling for stirring his water? Good grief! At least the child wasn't throwing things or dumping his water! I think I would have walked by and commented on how sweet the child was trying to be like daddy and how well behaved compared to other kids....Of course that would probably set the father off in another bad tirade. You can't win!

You might have to hunt for it, marsue. Even my old phone would do that, so you might be surprised. They usually have a few different "tones" built in to the phone.

A friend of mine has the Harry Potter theme on hers, and I have my eye on the one from Casablanca. :-) My GPS talks with Yoda's voice (from Star Wars), but I might switch to Sean Connery. lol I have to have fun with this stuff.

Well, if all else fails I can always get out the instruction book and read up on it! LOL My phone is one of the older ones so it may not have that capability but I am going to check it out, anyway.

On the subject of driving while talking on a phone...
Just know that if you're in a car wreck, no matter what role you played in the event... your cell phone records will be subpoened and used to make a case against your negilgence to establish cause.... I've seen it happen many times. I never talk on the phone while driving.

I'm glad you mentioned this, because it actually sheds light on
other possibilities.

For example, while I'm no singer, I often cup my left ear with my
hand to hear myself while singing along with the radio. This could
lead to the same situation, though perhaps my reaction time would
be better due to not actually having anything in my hand.

In the end, both hands on the wheel are best, but all too often cell
phones are listed as the main cause. It's odd, though, when you think
about how many people have a hand busy with kids, cigarettes, drinks,
food, arms around a date, etc.

It only takes a second.

How well I know about "It only takes a second". This last Wednesday on the way to my MIL's house we were behind a pickup pulling a large trailer with 15 round bales of hay on it. (This was on a state highway in a rural area.) The 5 bales on top were not tied down in any way. The guy driving was driving too fast and he lost 2 of the round bales in a curve. He never knew he had lost them. Fortunately, they rolled off to the right into a ditch. After that I dropped back so if it happened again I wouldn't be right behind him. He went around another curve, driving too fast, and lost the other 3 bales on top. This time the remaining 3 bales rolled off on the left side in front of oncoming traffic. We were in the right lane and one of the guys in the left lane swerved and ran into the ditch on the left side. The guy behind him swerved and started skidding sideways in his lane and then was coming toward us, still skidding sideways. He quickly turned his tires hard to the right and his pick-up turned back to the right and just barely missed us as he went around, tires still squealing! All of this happened in a split second! I am so glad that I had dropped pretty far behind the trailer with the hay, otherwise DH and I would have been toast and maybe the guy in the pick-up, too, and all because the crazy driver pulling the hay trailer didn't know how to drive!

Wow!!! I'm glad you are okay marsue!! How scary! Did you get the license plate of the bale driver? In Az you can call it in and report it to the police and they will check it out. If enough calls are made about a driver then there are consequences....not sure what exactly but I know some type of action is taken!

I get really steamed when young kids don't hold doors open for elderly people coming in or out of a store, etc. Another perfect example of poor breeding from parents who don't take the time to teach their kids common courtesy.

Or adults who don't defer to the elderly. In the produce section one day, a lady in a wheelchair bumped a lady's heels in front of her. That woman rounded on that little old lady and started yelling - it was so bad I stepped in front of her because I thought she was going to hit her. Several people told her to calm down. That was extreme, but I've seen plenty of people being impatient with slow moving old folk, not helping them, etc. That really steams me! Also, people don't take the time to understand when someone obviously has communication problems - hard of hearing (just yell!), a bit mentally slow (yell at them, too), a little senile (be as impatient as possible). Grrrrr...

This is very interesting. Let me add a pet peave no one has mentioned yet.
How about the folks that empty their car ashtrays in the parking lot? Come on,
you can't wait to dump it in the garbage can?

And a question - when you have a runny nose, what is the proper way to handle
it while you're at the table? I turn away from the table and blow my nose. I hear
you guys hating to witness this. Should I just keep leaving the table to blow my
nose in the ladies room? Or what? If in the cafeteria at work, there's really no
way to even do this. I can't let my nose drip ... that's even worse.

Tam

Cross posted Kaperc... my mom is essentially deaf. With her hearing aids,
she can figure out what people are saying if she watches them talk. I had to
go to the doctor with her because the doctor didn't seem to believe she was
really deaf. Mom wrote down all her questions and asked the doctor to write
the answers. Instead the doctor read the questions to mom and then
answered them. I went along the next time so she had someone who could
write the answers down for her. And so many people treat her like she's stupid.
(She's an incredibly smart woman - Masters Degree in Math and almost finished
her PhD. Was an engineer for 20 yrs after teaching at a major university &
raising us kids too)

I hear YOU, Tammy! I think I'd have a talk with that doc or get a new one.

Hi Tammy,

On the runny nose thing, I guess each person has a different tolerance. :-)

When dining out, someone could gently dab their nose, or excuse themselves
to the bathroom to blow. When I hear someone blowing hard while I
eat, I just cringe and lose my appetite.

When I have a runny nose, the first step is the restroom. If it returns, this is
why I keep a tissue handy to gently dab discreetly, turning away from the table,
but just my own personal opinion, I would never blow while sitting at the table.

If I have allergy problems during the year, I make certain to keep something with
me such as tablets or pills for a sudden occasion.

Of course, there is a big difference between someone turning away and
gently doing their business than what we see and hear in this part of the
country, which is a full blown all-out snot assault during dinner. These guys
(and some women) do it all the time. It's a habit and not a necessity. It's
almost ritual with some of them.

Eat, pick teeth, blow nose and burp. Dinner's over. Time to fart. Ugh!

Fully agree on the cigarettes. Same goes for tossing them out the window.

I'm with Wuvie.
And yes, it probably happens too often that older people are treated as less than capable.

On the cell phones---I carry mine whenever I leave the house, however it's on vibrate only 90% of the time so in the car it's on the seat next to me and often I won't hear it over the traffic, kids, radio so I DO NOT talk in the car. I don't answer it unless it's convenient for me. That's what VM is for. :)

Holding doors for the elderly. How about holding the door for anyone?! I almost never see this happen. My DH is a southern gentleman and will open the doors for me but it really steams me when he's opening a door to go out for ME and someone else coming in the same door will brush right by me letting him get the door for them. I don't pass up the chance to loudly say, "You're welcome!" as they most often don't bother to notice it wasn't an automatic door but a human holding it open, LOL.

DH and I have settled down in the pet peeves dept though---trying not to let them get us down so much. We try to do what we can to be nice and try to imagine some hilarious reason as to why someone else was so rude to keep our humanity in check.

Tir Na, I'm with you! I hold the door for everyone, and don't hesitate
to tell folks they are welcome if they don't at least acknowledge the
favor. I always try to judge their walking speed, then adjust mine
so that I might have the opportunity to be nice.

Then again, I don't want to run to the door, but if it happens, I'll be
happy to hold the door.

Tir Na, if you (or anyone) held the door, I would very politely thank you.

:-) KM

I have to say I think people hold open doors a bit more than necessary.
This is just at work ... I don't see it so much in public places.
Sometimes I may be quite a few paces behind a person holding the
door for me and they wait while holding the door. It's very nice but really,
I can manage it by myself. I feel I have to rush so as to not delay them
more than necessary. I always say thank you very sincerely and give
a big smile.

I guess I'd prefer this to working with a bunch of rude people so its a really
minor pet peeve. LOL

LOL, Tammy, we'll make a deal. You stop blowing your
nose while I eat and I won't hold the door for you.

Just a little light humor, couldn't resist.

The best part of saying "you're welcome" to someone when they've been rude is doing it with a smile. Confuses the heck out of them! Tir_Na_Nog, I love your idea of thinking of hilarious reasons for behavior - that will definitely help on bad days!

dh said in traffic he pretends speeders or cut-offs are en route to take a hamster to an emergency vet. :) *wink-grin*

hee hee

Tir-Na-Nog wrote;"I don't pass up the chance to loudly say, "You're welcome!"

I hold doors for anyone, it's just how I was brought up (some of it stuck, anyway). Most people at least smile to acknowledge the courtesy, but believe me, those who don't get a resounding "you're SO welcome, have a nice day!", often much to the amusement of others.

I think it's sweet and polite to hold the door. But as someone mentioned it isn't a courtesy for someone who has to quicken their pace several steps because someone else is holding it for a long time. If someone isn't directly behind or in front of me I don't hold the door.

Door peeves: people who go IN an "exit" clearly marked EXIT or vice versa.

I kinda look forward to when my baby daughter makes these observations herself so they can be said aloud in public. She already looks at "trash" littering the parks, streets, sidewalks. She points and I tell her, "Yes, that's trash. Some people aren't nice and don't throw it away." Doubt it will change the world but makes me feel better. :o