Why won't you answer me?!?!?!??

i would love to defend texans but i have a feeling i am not a good representative for them at this time!!! i will be sure to keep asking if i need or want an answer in the future about anything-- and i will also try to remember to answer others if i can

jasper--caroline kennedy?

No need they all came running with plenty of answers and apologies and sweet tea too, I think. lol You know what I mean, if you really want an answer someone knows and someone will answer eventually as long as you don't give up. It is easy to get used to quick responses here and to take it offensively or get hurt if you see people read and no one even said, "HECK IF I KNOW".

but did any of them say "bless your heart"? -------our way to say "well you poor thing"!!

Well, Hellnzn ~ I saw that thread... did you find land in TX?

No DH decided that he was not ready for the move and thinks Texas will be like it is here only more humid. lol Yes they did say that, HEY!!!!!

Take a tour.... al least its' green! 8 ))

Hi All (& Chrissy100 If she's watching this),
I just found this thread via a link in the Palms and Cycads forum. I've read through the lot and found it all very interesting. I wanted to say that I've found many different kinds of people on DG and 99.99% of them are wonderful. If I ever felt ignored here I'd try another forum, but I can't say it's ever happened. I don't know whether I have just been lucky or not but I wanted to give my perspective. I have started 72 threads since I first joined up, and outside of the 26 Plant files picture ones, there are very few which have not gotten an answer - usually ones where I have just put up a picture for others on the forum to see which requires no particular comment (I am guilty of doing that a lot on the Amaryllis and Hippeastrum Forum, LOL). I've had enough experience on-line to know that sometimes you have to wait for the right person to be on-line and see your question.

By some people's standards I'd probably be one of those know-it-all "experts" but I'm perfectly happy to admit there are subjects I know NOTHING about and happy to go on asking questions when I need to. Someone once said "You are either learning or you are dead" and I'd rather not be dead thanks!

When I was dMailing people to let them know I wanted to use their photos in my article I noticed a huge difference in members activity levels - some were using many features, posting a lot of photos etc, and others looked as if they had put in one or two bits of information and then stopped coming back. A couple of the people I dMailed still haven't replied, but I don't sweat it, it's just a shame they may not get to see their picture in use, because they are no longer paying attention to the site.

What I do want to say is this. The FIRST time someone posts here is probably the most critical part of their decision to stay and become a part of the community or not. If they receive a nice response they are much more likely to stay and participate. My first post was a Plant ID question and I was really impressed by the responses and effort that the members went to in trying to ID my annoying plant specimen. By the way, it is still a mystery, but I've given it up for the moment because I have decided it can't be done without fresh plant material which I can't get at.

It might be a question for Dave actually; I wonder if he could implement a way of seeing that any new members FIRST post gets a quick response - just to see if that gets people coming back for more? HMMM.

Anyway, because of that first positive experience, I have made the jump from member to subscriber and I now watch 18 forums, 12 of which I am active in (the remaining 6 I am still lurking as I am busy reading "what has gone before.." before I stick my nose in). I have over 1000 journal items, I use the tradelist, I am writing articles, I just plain LOVE THIS PLACE. Best of all I feel that I have made some wonderful friends, and after all isn't that what it is all about?

Bye for now, Kaelkitty.

Maybe I'm the impatient sort or just the insanely curious type, but I tend to ignore questions when the person could have Googled the issue just as quickly as they could have started a new thread in a forum where the subject has been discussed exhaustively.

Maybe I'm wrong in not wanting to encourage what seems like needy behavior to me. Then again, when others have posted something along the lines of "Google it & you'll find the answer," that seems rude as well. Eventually people probably gain a sense of forum etiquette & what constitutes wasting other people's time.

Occasionally I've responded to a newbie's basic question & then gotten bombarded with DMails that carry the expectation that I'll walk the person through Botany 101, 202, 303 and Nos. 425, 436 & 505.

Another reason that I've pulled in my horns until I can see how someone behaves on DG is that I've run into enough crazies plus overly literal, humorless types that sometimes I don't want to get involved anymore. Witness even the couple of miscommunications on this thread, of all places -- who needs it?

Pirl is correct...it was Carole King.

One thing I did find to be "interesting" is people who rarely, if ever, post anything, anywhere, and then they come to the RU's. This makes it difficult for others to try and strike up coversations with them because of their lack of "participating" in the threads. I've met a few of these "silent" members, and they are REALLY nice, fun people but they prefer not to do any posting.

I realize that posting is not mandatory, but it does make it easier when their is SOME sort of "history" involved...it just seems that a common ground has been established and makes mingling less "awkward".

Also, with all the new additions and features on DG, unless someone specifically announces that this is their first posting, how are people to know?

Jasperdale, many times a new name or a zonal question will make me go to their member page quickly by clicking on their name. It tells when they signed on among other tidbits.

What I can't figure is when a person asks a question, gets a response and never answers.... was it not the answer they wanted???

plano - Sweet Caroline was named for Caroline Kennedy.

podster - I've done the same thing by going to the home page of the poster to get more information. I agree about a question being asked and then one of us answers it but there's no response from the curious one who asked.

Exactly my point podster & pirl & summer.

Dave's Garden is pretty easy to fall over on the net, you Google a plant name or something and up comes the plant files reference and away you go. Then you discover just how big the website really is and I think some people just get a bit shell shocked and go AHHHH! Because it is so big it can take people a while to get comfortable, others feel like they are intruding on established relationships if they butt in to an ongoing conversation so they just lurk.

Specifically to what summer said about Botany 101 thru 505, LOL! I know and you know that there are people who know very little and people who know a lot. There are also, unfortunately, some people in the world who don't want to know what they don't know! I got used to this when I joined my first plant society at the age of 10 as a junior member and encountered people four and five times my age who said things like "Plant names, Nah I don't bother, I just grow what I like" and I've definitely lost track of the number of people I've met who use "Cactus" as a descriptive catch all name for every spiny succulent plant they have ever seen!

I think the best trick to saving ones own time is to give an answer in such a form that the questioner is directed to further sources. I'm pretty busy; full time business, plus riding herd on about 2000 plant species in my own collection, and trying to get a good edible garden going at my new house, but I would certainly answer any question which was asked directly to me as I would feel uncomfortable doing otherwise.

Secondly to what podster and pirl said about question, response, followed by silence. Maybe the question was answered so well the asker went OK, good, and then went about their own business. Maybe they haven't been back
yet - some people's online time is limited. Personally, I'd always say thank you to someone who had helped me out but then I darn near live on this website when I am at work and between customers. This also ties in to what summer said about "sense of forum etiquette". You can't really develop that unless you spend a fair bit of time in a forum and, as someone said much earlier in this thread different forums have different tones what is fine in one place may not go down too well in another. Not only that but forums change over time as new people come in and others move on.

When I first came here the Australian forum was very quiet. I made a particular effort for about four months to dmail any new Australian members I came across and now the forum is very active. So much so in fact that I have been able to step back and watch it take off while I get on with the massive job of getting all my own plants into my plant journal. It's still a small forum by some standards, but it hums along now. On the other hand the Bonsai Forum, which I also watch, is very quiet, sometime no post for a week or more, then a little flurry of activity, then silence again. I'm not the person to do anything about that as I am a rank amateur and dabbler in Bonsai, so that is one forum where I'd much rather follow than lead.

I've just looked back at this, and realized I have been blathering on and have gotten off track. What I wanted to say was that people ARE different here, just as they are different in real life. There is something odd about communication over the net - it feels much more personal than it really is and it is all too easy to forget that what you type may have a potential audience of thousands when it FEELS like a personal converation between friends. It is all too easy to get emotional in both good and bad ways. The good experiences generate proprietary feelings of MY friends, MY forums etc. and very simple things can generate very bad feelings very quickly.

I think sometimes that DG is very "different" from other places on-line mostly because (I am guessing here) it has so many members and subscribers who would never even think to join any other kind of computer based forum and Dave has done a very good job of keeping the whole tone of the site friendly. A place like Live Journal would eat most of the posters here alive. (Yes I have a Live Journal too, but that is for other things than gardening) It behoves all of us to remember that we were newbies once and that there are no dumb questions - the faster you grow someone's knowledge the sooner they can pass it along in their own turn.

Food for thought from Kaelkitty. We now return you to your scheduled programming! LOL!

I only answer if I am sure that mine is what the question is looking for. I don't like to answer if the question was posed by someone in a really different climate. I know that many things need different care in different places. I also don't have a lot of time to read and answer. So if I get a minute I may read a few posts and that is it for that day. Gardening is not my only hobby, I have a couple of other forums I like to check out. As for how others take anything I have posted, well I just can't control how people take things! Too bad if they take things personally. I try to be nice and just answer in a manner that I would like to be answered. BTW it looks there have been over 2000 lookie loos to this one! LOL!

This appears to be an innocently "guilt laden" thread ! LOL

Snicker!

Ya, it's a lot like preaching to the choir!

It has taken a long time to read through this thread.
Being a person of many words but very bad typing and computer skills, I am one of the blunt answer / post people.
In the over 50 group I had never considered even using a computer till a couple years ago,so most of the time it is like being in a foreign country and not knowing the language.
I am very thankful to the people here at DG for opening up a whole new world.
Also thankful for the people who take the time to use the big G (google) it is not something I have mastered yet.
It was only about a year ago I was yelling at one of my kids ''there is no letter P on this key board'', they remind me of it regularly.
learning every day
Cinda

Well... I'm glad there is no "P" on your keyboard!

I thank a good friend of mine for helping me with computer skills, especially the search stuff. Some of us are not lazy, like Cinda said, we just don't have the skills! Not until SOMEBODY teaches us! Thank you for all the generous people here who share their knowledge and skill.

I sometimes forget that anyone can't type or see a link like I can. I have typed since Jr. High, been a secretary, data entry clerk/secretary and worked with computers for over 20 years.

So my advice is if you think you don't have the skills, things are easier now than they have ever been. Just get online daily for a week, read all the help files-every software and site has them. Just get some practice and if you get frustrated, just ask and I bet someone will answer. I know if I see it, I will try and help!

This happened to me the other day with my best friend. She asked why her houseplant was losing leaves, I said what kind of plant. She said "you are a Master Gardener don't you know?" We were in a restaurant, so I said "well I did pass the MG test but I am not a mind reader you need to give me more info." I got a laugh from the others at our table.

The only question I have posted that was never answered was on the SW board. I was to be visiting Tucson and would drive to Phoenix to see a quilt show. I wondered if anyone else was and got no response, so I guess that was a no?

See what you started now? I agree there are different vibes on different threads and you need to see which ones you fit best with. Some people are nice and some are not so nice, some like to pontificate about their own knowledge and others just lurk.

I'm a pontificater on things I know and a lurker to learn on things I don't know. Just want everyone to know what I know.
Carol

What is the point of knowledge if not to be shared.

I agree, when we post questions on the thread, one shouldn't be shy or wait for what they think are better answers. The point is to hear about experiences and stories individuals have. All of us reading 100 different stories will begin to find some similaraties, and some not. The great thing is we get to learn, pick and choose strategies that were not formerly options for us. Some people think their 2 cents is only worth .5 cents...but let us decide that, because alot of times it's worth a 100.00 to me!
Even so, gardening is impacted by so many different variables, this just helps take some of them out, and is best described in this quot from Machelle Small Wright

"But anyone who practices organic gardening knows that it is made up of a huge volume of hints, tips, ideas and practices—some of which, when tried, work and some don't, despite the fact that the organic gardener just down the road did exactly the same thing and got incredible results. "


Rj

Don't get me wrong, Pontificating has a great place here, we all value that, the negative type of Pontificating to me is the ones who fight over who's idea that tip really was. I talked to someone once that is really nice but loved to say How she was the first to this and the first to that and that everyone stole her pictures and past her ideas on as their own, etc.

There is a certain amount of horn tooting we can all do when we figured the puzzle out but if someone passed you on an idea or you read it, It is now your tip to pass on too, It is crazy to lie and say it was your own but it is another to pass the tip on without giving proper origination to the gardening tip.

Do you know what I mean. I find some gardeners arogant and obnoxious here, but mostly they are FANTASTIC AND LOVING GIVERS.

I'm always surprised when I run into a gardener that isn't fun and nice. But there
are a few that aren't.
Tam

ohhhhhhh...that...yes...now I know what your talking about.. I must admit that I've had the air totally withdrawn from my lungs, eyes popping out of my head in incredulous disbelief..wondering and re-reading just to make sure what I read and understood was real.

After my initial shock and encounter with absolute rude, I had to process it in order to not be jaded with what has been and is a great experience. I simply decided not to be offended, and felt that the person was missing something in their life that the rest of us have, and just hoped they get the love and attention at home so they don't have to look for it on a website.

rj

yeah me too. It is for fun and enjoyment, it isn't a war though some have tried to make it that way. Too funny. Well we aren't that way so "Yeah for us" the fun and friendly.

Hi All..
I'm not usually here on Garden Talk..but someone from I think the brugmansia bunch posted a link to this thread there... seems to be a big interest in this. from the play here.. and the cross linking.. Thanks Vossner.. 2,274 views...and 227 replies...good going...
Vossner I'd have replied to any query of yours... If I saw it.... if I knew anything about the answer or not..
Background... I'd written back and forth... D-mail...i-m's and such with Vossner..and sent her seeds...she's a dear.[ do you have any pictures vos... of my Wild Panamain Plumeria you grewout..ordid Imiss them also ] I also had the pleasure of meeting her and her husband at the plumeria conference a year or two ago in Galveston.... She's has also posted some of the most lovely trellises she made for her house.. stunning..
Anyway.. I bet she had the pleasure here of stiring everyones awareness of unanswered posts....
I try and be aware of unanswered posts.. a week or so ago.. there was a query about the making of a memorial garden for a departed friend.. two days up and no ideas for them.. I wasn't going to post to it.. but I answered with a few thoughts.. difficult to write to someones grief/and their dealing with it.. and as every day goes by and it's been unreplied to by any others.. I'm so happy at least I did some thought on it.. AND posted something.. I can't believe there were no other ideas for them.. or that my post so answered the question... definatively..
well ...we should do what we can..whenever we can.. big...small... just someting to show them your there.. Gordon..

Well said Gordon.

You were kind enough to send me some of those Wild Panamanian seeds also and they have grown robustly (and as fast as weeds.) I do not think I have any recent photos to post but I believe Diehrdsoutherner has posted some. I passed on one of your babies to him a while ago. As large as these plants are, I expect flowers next summer.

alice

Of all the quotes in this thread, Chrissy's is my favorite. With this in mind, I'm going to move on & try to use the good advice that I found in this thread. I'll try to do better. That's all any of us can do.

Wow! This post has certainly not gone ignored! It could even use another thread for us poor, underprivileged (out in the boonies) dial-up folks. LOL
I haven't taken the time to read all the posts, but I'm one of the ones who don't post an answer if I don't know the answer. Sometimes I will suggest a different forum or thread for the question to be posted on, though.

"Posts 230 Views 2345".

Post 231 here with views of 2365 now.

Yes, please, someone start a continued edition please ~ way slow on dial up here too!

Dial-uppers, your wish is my command. Go here:

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/797788/