Why won't you answer me?!?!?!??

Just goes to show, if ALL else fails.... go plant shopping! Nice to meet you Voss.
Pat

yes welcome back.

G'day V ...what you have done is made a lot of very nice people talk about stuff ...and we all got to know that we all have the best of intentions .....we all want to feel welcome and able to interact....
there is suddenly a lot of activity that was not there before this thread.....fantastic!
congratulations ...I think this is what you intended all along ...with a
fantastic result!!! Well Done everyone.
chrissy

Vossner,

I had to smile, as this thread went on and on, without you chiming in.

What a wise and perceptive person you are IMHO. :-)
I love the interaction brought about this thread. It has made us question our own actions, not only in this wonderful garden community, but in life in general.
I'm not well written, and certainly far from eloquent, but I do appreciate a "nudge" now and then, to stop and think.

Thanks,
Sasha

I'm a week late reading and catching up on this thread, and have felt the same things many of you have posted.

I honestly don't think anyone intentionally ignores a question or a post on any given topic to be hurtful ...rather, they just figure someone more knowledgeable or more experienced will respond. Many times I have no clue as to how to answer a question, and feel that if I actually respond as such, the person who posts will see that a response has been added, get excited about it, and then see that it is of no help to them !

I think that the majority of people who garden avidly as so many of us do, are sensitive people and DO appreciate any and all responses to threads we start, but aren't necessarily "hurt" by lack of response. (Maybe I'm wrong...) But, there always seems to be SOMEONE who eventually has an answer to whatever is being asked, although at times, it does take a while.

We are all here to learn from each other and share ideas and I for one think the response time and quality of responses here on DG are EXCELLENT !!!

New members, regardless of their gardening "experience" may feel intimidated at first to post OR respond...but by and large, DGers are really good at making new members feel comfortable and welcome here.

Also, given that we are limited to typeset, it is hard to convey vocal inflection and sincerity of comment, and hopefully no one takes offense to answers they get or read. Maybe eventually we'll have "audio response" on DG ! (Although I hope not...I hate the sound of my own voice when I hear it on a recording!!!)

When DG was an infant it was easy to see when a post was left unanswered and to chime in with a hello and an answer if possible to questions.

I also tried to be one of the welcome wagon members. Now I am afraid to welcome an unrecognized name because they may have been here for ages and I just hadn't run across them or had forgotten.

There are so many forums now that I may not get to one for weeks on end unless something pops up on my watched list. So I spend a lot more time reading than posting.

Like many people I have had posts "ignored" or at least it felt like they were to me at the time. I have also had posts pop back up that are many years old and enjoyed the responses a second or third time around.

Over all, I have had wonderful experiences on these forums. I have also experienced rude behavior, animosity, whining and personal attacks to the extent that I stayed away for several months and even allowed my membership to lapse because of 3 aggressively mean people.

Think about that, 3 people out of thousands! Once I was able to see it in that light I was able to return and enjoy. But I admit it did have a lasting effect on me. I lost that feeling of 'ownership' that once had me searching for newcomers to welcome or unanswered threads. And nine times out of ten, when I type in a response like this one I never hit the send button.... 10

Glad you sent it this time ~ I agree. Things must be put in perspective.

And you can welcome me, I've only been here a couple years ~ lol!

Zany, it's sad when 1, 2 or even 3 people can spoil a good thing. I'm so grateful that there are not a lot of mean gardeners!! I have enjoyed DG so much!! I certainly consider it a blessing in my life!

Zany!
Where the heck you been ?
I know what you mean about all the forums. I watch a bunch, but don't see a lot of us old timers.
I've been to some Round Up's, so have met many DG'ers in person. Great people for the most part.
Busy here with our market garden. It was a very good year in spite of a drought.
Now we are getting back into high gear with our cabinet work. We have 2 new houses we are building cabinets for.

Have a Great One!
Bernie

In that case.. Welcome to DG podster ;~)

psychw2, it is a shame but it happens. Life goes on and old friends like Bernie there pop up and bring a big grin to one's face. Hi Bernie!

There are a lot of old timers here still according to the subscribers list but with all the forums spread out it is hard to find them sometimes. I am seeing a lot of new friends now as they post more and I lurk about reading them.

I find myself torn between wishing we were just a small community again to being thrilled to have so many wonderful new people.

There is a "flip side" to the overall theme of this thread as well...namely, people who consider themselves authorities on EVERY subject that comes up in ANY given forum...and feel the need to pounce on every thread the minute it is posted...and thus not giving others a chance to respond...(regardless of if they are correct or not.)

Granted, there ARE members who are very knowledgeable in their "specialized" forums and add a wealth of info. to the site based on their knowledge and experience. The majority of them share their knowledge with humility and respect, and are not above being "corrected" by someone else who happens to come along and share something "new".

We all know this site ISN'T a contest to see who knows the most and to boast about their infinite knowledge and belittle other members by their insistance on always being "right".

I'm all for welcoming new members...it is one of the many things that makes DG such a great site. There is room here for everyone...from beginner to Ph.D level and everything in between. We can certainly all learn from one another and be better gardeners as a result. No one knows everything.

As someone above stated, there are so many new forums now, it's hard to keep track of it all on a regular basis. So, back to the original theme of this thread, I think sometimes a lot of us just assume that another member will undoubtedly come along and answer a question...and it is done so that people who normally don't post will feel comfortable in doing so.

If you pose a question and don't get a reponse right away, how about making a "light hearted plea for help" ? LOL That may spur a quicker response.

I don't know about the "light hearted plea for help" but I have noticed if a thread sits there unanswered and I post any generality just to bump it, it will be quickly swarmed by the "authorities". I always get a chuckle.

I'll answer Nery - what's the question again ;)

So along the same old same old...

Do you send a Dmail ~ and hear NOTHING back?

Do you mail out plants or seeds and hear NOTHING? NO thank yous
~ NO feedback...

Is it me? I always thought the gardener would be more courteous. Anyone else run into this??!!? 8 ( pod

Thankfully, I've had good luck and courteous results 99.9 % of the time.

Podster....I have to say "yes" to your queries....and it doesn't feel good. But we are all busy people, some more than others. Perhaps it was the "that deserves more than just a quick response, I'll get to it later when I have more time"....and then it got forgotten...that happens to me too, unfortunately. I generally just wait a bit then ask - did you get my d-mail?, seeds?, photos? Some time the answer is no, and then I feel bad for my hard feelings!

Yes and I try to GIVE courteous responses... Imagine my horror when I was prompted to see that I FORGOT to acknowledge some seeds I received! I was so embarrassed, I apologized profusely and hoped I redeemed myself. That's what I get for putting something off for even a few minutes. I should have acknowledged the receipt of the seeds before anything else!

I even hated it but had to dun a DGr for the promised postage reimbursement. He said but I sent it via Paypal. Not. He then did ~ but should I have even had to?

psychw2...go sit in the corner and write 100 times "I will immediately reply to fellow DGers who send me things" ! LOL

pod...speaking of mail...(grin)

No Pod, you should not have to ASK for the payment. It is possible he thought he had and forgot to. He should have acknowledged his mistake, apologized and then taken care of it. Not everybody can admit a mistake. Some people can not apologize, I know several of them! Their pride will not let them admit a mistake and take responsbility for it. I should count my blessings that I can admit my mistakes, I make plenty so I get PLENTY of practice!

OH Jasper, do I HAVE to? (Please be sure to hear the WHINE in my voice, trust me, at this point it can be highly annoying.) Isn't apologizing and vowing to do better in the future enough?

I do understand overlooked Dmails (not you Sticks)

I will read one at work and not have the info or time or photo there so say I will answer later. Later is slow coming. But it does get there ~ (you Sticks) lol.

Some I see cruising around DG and not responding to Dmail (me ~ Sticks) and hate to bump them if they have read mine.

Guess I need to be more forward ...

psychw2...NO ! I grew up knowing that humiliation is a major part of the repentance...empty vows are a dime a dozen. LOL

And to think I work so hard to help clients overcome the SHAME you think is essential!!! LOL On the other hand, I got a few clients that what goes thru my mind is "talk is cheap, let me SEE some ACTION!!!" Yep, just empty vows.

AS I have posted before, if the postage is only several $$$'s I don't mind not getting it back, but when I send a lot of stuff and postage is in the teen $$$'s then I want my money back. If not someday you may find me knocking on your door asking for it becaus my hus. and I travel a lot and we could go thru your town. LIZ

LOL.. good policy!!

Liz ~ do I owe you? 8 ( pod

Pod, the good news is, if you DO, maybe you'll get a visit in person!!!

Always fun to meet another gardener ~ I hope?!?? Less she has blood in her eye...

"Blood in her eye", I haven't heard that expression in a while! One of my favorites from Mom "you breeding a scab on your nose?" She used to say that if she thought we were putting our nose into someone else's business.

LOL ~ that is a new one on me... Moms' do know best!

Do you think LC2s on her way to get me?

I don't know, do you owe her money? If so .. PAY UP DEADBEAT!!!

LOL ~ I think we did trade plants in the past but... I think it was a trade for plants ~ not for dollars. I hope... 8 7 Sometimers disease here...

Just found this thread, Well I for one am so sorry that someone feels ignored, feel they have asked a silly question of felt there are too many buddy, buddy folks on the DG forums, what is the point in having any forums IF the people feel bad they joined this wonderful set up.
I am one of these folks that think a question needs a fuller explanation, probably to the annoyance of some, this is because sometimes we have many new gardeners come to the forum, that a fuller answer means that they dont need to ask part of the question and feel thought of as silly by asking. Me, myself sometimes need thing spelled out in block capital letters before it sinks in, other times I grasp it right away, so maybe, if there is more info needed, then the person asking should get back and say, spell it out,
Regards abrupt, or sarcastic answers, yes there are some folks that can honestly say, this is the way I do always speak, but from my point of view, we have to take into account that this is a world wide forum and site, and we do have different ways of wording things, different humour.
WE also have different time clocks, so ofcource some folks will answer a question long before others are even at their computers, but I cant think of anyone that rushes to a computer to try be first to answer all the questions, I for one, do have another life away from the DG site. I know being from UK, I have been pulled up on several occasions for writing something in the language or fraze that is spoken here where I live, however, it was taken as being rude, patronising or whatever to the person that received this, ofcourse I immediately apologised and tried to explain that dialect and different Fraze's are taken to mean different thing to someone else and can be taken the wrong way, to be fare, and thankfully, the person or people, did thank me from my apologies and accepted. We all have different ways of saying things, but it is not always meant as rude, hurtful or anything else. Just as we all have different dialects, we also have different ways of gardening, different attitudes and different ideas as to how to respond to a question, so there are lots of reasons for being on the site, and tolerance is definitely one of them, I was not on the site for a while, so whatever your question was Voss, please do ask again so that those of us who genuinely missed it, maybe you can receive an answer, there is an unwritten rule here on DG, that is, there are no questions EVER silly OR stupid, there are just people who dont know the answer to the question they ask, all gardeners, even those of us who have been gardening for years, dont know all the answers, we dont know everything about gardening, and we mostly live in different climates, or only have a window box, but that dont mean that they are barred from joining in any forum they feel like. I am truly sorry that you feel ignored or had some rude or sarcastic replies, but there are more really good generous and polite people on this site than the very few who feel cleaver by being unpleasant to others, but normally, these people are brought down to size with some form or telling off. so please, give us another go and join in the fun, the learning curve and the true meaning of what this wonderful site is all about, that is, gardening, friendships and encouragement for any level of gardeners. hope you feel better about us all now, good luck. WeeNel. Scotland. UK.

WeeNel, did you manage to read thru the WHOLE thread? It was long eh? I loved your request "to give us another go". I do enjoy this forum very much and I hate to see anyone feel offended or dismissed.

weenel, I so agree with what you say. Different people do express themselves differently. I have really great friends from England and we laugh at each other often because we say things so differently. I joined DG site a year ago and I go in spurts i will be on every day then go for a week i don't get a chance to be on. I feel bad to know anyone felt slighted or thought we were being rude. Hopefully they will give us another chance.

It is really sad when someone voices things like the persons problems with the site, then dont come back to say if they really want to partake or not, especially as so many people have actually gone to all the trouble of expressing they were sorry or would take on board what was said about not answering someones question, but hey, the same thing happened on a thread way back in the summer when someone else complained that some of us on the thread had openly spoken about political correctness, ofcource it had nothing to do with the gardening subject, but to my knowledge, no one was being offencive, derogatory or unpleasant, however, several folks got told off about some comments and boy, were they upset, I was more upset that the person who felt they needed to complain, hurt so many loyal garden friend, yet they never even got back to say, thank you for the kind words and apologies, it really makes you wonder if some people troll the net, just so they can score a point rather than stick to joining in a forum to learn or just meet some new friend, but hey, our world is full of people who are all different, I guess that's what makes the world go around, I just hope whoever it was that started this thread, do come back and can enjoy the banter and fun/humour that so many of the people have. happy gardening. WeeNel.

Yes WeeNel, the person who started the thread DID come back and read. I don't know their purpose in starting the thread but it generated LOTS of good thoughts so that is a good thing!

Well just put my 2 feet in it did I not, I must have missed reading the reply, but the thread is getting rather long now for scrolling through it all, which is another reason a lot of folks dont join in, also when someone has the answer to there satisfaction, why is the thread not removed as we sometimes look at it and find you did in fact answer the question ages before, oh dear, are we just getting too picky. he, he, he, maybe just because I am sitting indoors and the weather is freezing out and have got garden withdrawal symptoms already this year, well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it, Happy gardening. WeeNel.