Should Women Surrender to Men in Marriage ?

No Hap , No Book .
I'm an artist not a writer ,
That last quote was from a survey by a Pommi News Paper writer
about a similar Questionnaire .
So I take no credit for it except for finding it and posting it here .
I'm starting a new thread soon that will ENTERTAIN .
So keep an EYE out for that one .
Mean time , This thread is going great guns . Kell

Let us know here about the new thread. YIPEE.

Hap

PS. Glad about the book!

OK Hap,
Will do .
This thread is amazing , Over 200 posts and only two Pictures .
And here I was thinking Pictures tell a thousand Words . ( Wrong )

Not with this chatty gang, Kell!

Just recently my DH & I had a fight, I was ready to move out and we discussed it and everything is fine. That is what marriage is about. We very seldom ever fight but when we do it's a doozy, they last a day or two and then we work it out. The pastor asked a couple of weeks later how things were on the home front and my DH explained to him that you don't stay married 29 years if you can't work things out. You fight about it, work it out & move on.

We do not have a typical marriage, DH told at a Valentines dinner about giving me a floor jack for Christmas and the neighbor gave his wife a new aluminum cattle trailer. They really didn't give them to us, they got them for themselves but the neighbors wife and I laughed about it and didn't deny it. DH said the neighbor could borrow my floor jack to change his wifes flat tire on her trailer. I asked for a baby grinder to sand down some chairs with, DH bought it for me for Christmas. The pastors wife was outraged, why if her husband gave her something like that she would be furious....big difference between being 20 something and late 40s & 50 something. Romance vs practicality.

We are supposed to be helpmates not just live in the same house. I have spent my afternoon off of work cleaning out a fence row in the ice and cold so DH could build new fence to keep the cows in when he got home from work in January after the ice storm. DH has spent the weekend digging on my koi pond (which he hates) while I was in KC to see my dad who had cancer. Sometimes it's the little things that count. It may not have a thing to do with spending money or buying you jewelry or whatever but it lets you know they think of you enough to do something for you. I would rather have him like he is than to buy me jewelry which I wouldn't ever wear.

We both have things we do apart and I think that helps, I tell people "A little bit of togetherness goes a long way." I like my alone time, even if I do spend it pulling weeds in the garden or cleaning fence rows by myself. I am the one who decided to clean fence rows, DH sure didn't tell me to do it.

My mom was married 7 times and it took her that long to finally find a man that loved her and is good to her.

Sometimes when DH asks me to do a list of "honey dos" I tell him yes, don't I always do everything he tells me to do, he says only if I want to do what he has asked. He's pretty well trained, I don't think I would break in another one as well, or that I would want to.

PeggyP

Nice thread... Good to hear many positive comments and that there are still good long lasting marriages out there somewhere.

I married early, divorced...then thought I found the One, married again and had a child. Now - it's just as bad to the same degree as it was good. I learned many *good* lessons which brought up a feminist in me. I can name so many benefits of being single!!!! Never in my life will I put this burden on me with my very own hands. Hell, no!!! How much I had to go through in past 4 years... And all because I refused to give in- and I made a decision that I will never again be disrespected. It will take a loooong time for me to be able to date again - I just can't trust anyone and I will already see all the red flags a mile away. So, why bother to begin with???

Now I have all I need in my life and no one is there to "make it work" with - I can live a non stressful life and not worry about washing dirty socks and cleaning the house. I am not a cook and refuse to go into the kitchen, unless I cook for my son of course. I am not a maid - if you want a house perfectly cleaned - make enough money to hire a maid. Life is too short to waste it on all that housework and on fighting.
I'd rather be in my garden, or painting or making my jewelry - or just simply spending all my day with my 4 year old son. And I don't want for anyone to tell me ever again I have to stop what I want to do and go do something else they want me to do. Now I have many plans - I have no one to stop me, no one to hold me down and tell me I am not good enough for this and I can't do anything right.
And if you think about it - women needed men because of financial reasons, reproduction and to have a “man around the house”. Well, I work and make good enough money, my own handy-girl and can fix almost anything around the house and operate all of my power equipment myself. I bought a house in a country and will have a large garden - just as I dreamed.
I already have a child and will adopt more if I decide to have more. I love my animals and I don't want to hear someone telling me anything about bringing home another cat! If I am concerned about security - I will get a gun and those who want to try and compromise the safety of my home will know I am not kidding and will have no problem using it.

I am hoping that there are more women who have great or even good experience with their marriage. There are some like me, and there are many I heard of and know which are in a similar boat. So I was really surprised to see a lot of good feedback on this post. I do agree that all the good men are already taken and their women are smart enough not to let them go. What's left now is something I don't want to explore and definitely do not think its right to break into someone else's family and be happy at another woman's expense....
If I was 20 again then there was a chance finding a good man. But I really doubt I want to go through marriage 7 times as Peggy's mom to find the right one. It's just too stressful - I don’t know how she did it....And I really came to believe at this point that I was punished for something and will never have a happy personal life. So, I've decided to embrace what I have and enjoy it - to continue to love my son and to create a happy home for him. And no more stress, ladies....

Lenka, you have peace & strength & a child!
I can tell that life is good for you now.
There is no doubt that a lifelong relationship is beyond the reach of some of us. I'm still mulling that possibility for myself, but if I have to accept that, I hope I do it the way you have.

Lenka,

I don't know how old you are, but I feel everything you are saying. The 4 yr old tells me you are not too very old and I am sorry that you are feeling this way at such a young age.

I, on the other hand, am there, but have had many years to get here. I have given that old twosome a try, plenty of times, for marriage and liveaboard.

Too many bad choices for the wrong reasons. Yeah, I know, we thought they were the right reasons at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful clarification feature.

It takes time to get over and get on. You seem to be setting things up in the right order. Do for yourself, get your own ducks in a row exactly how you want them. Then surprise, someone will come along and it will be right.

I swore off the other half in '04. I had had enough of looking...for failures. I told everyone I knew that I was done. I will be alone for the rest of my life and I think I was okay with that.

I did meet someone in January and we've been pretty inseparable for the past six months. We tried to figure out how to bring this together, move here, move over to his place, but neither of us could give up our own place. So, we have a meal every evening, and because of his work hours, he goes home, sleeps and goes to work. We do together things, ride the Harley, garden, visit with friends on the weekends.

We both can be quite stubborn. He cannot make an Italian woman out of an Irish one so he has to quit trying and an Italian man was not one I ever foresaw. And it may not last forever, but he certainly has put a smile back on my face.

Anyway, an epiphany I wanted to share. I am one of the baby boomers. Along with that was the bra burners, maybe during my time. When we did that, the guys that weren't the "good' ones and already taken, were ones that developed such a bad inferiority complex, they blamed women for every wrong in their lives. All we wanted were equal pay for equal jobs, but we got more than we bargained for. The ripples are still being felt, even today.

Molly

Baby boomer here, too- age 50. And I've been alone since Dec. '03. I once told a priest that if I can't find anyone just like Jesus, then I don't want anyone. Don't want much, do I? LOL

Just having a quick read.. your all too funny...
Hey there ginger.. nice to see a fellow ozzie here.... i'm from melbourne actually... bayside.... its lovely...

my 2 cents worth??

My darling.. you may be the head of the household... but I... am the neck that turns the head... lol....

just kidding...

At a party on a cruise ship for my parents 50th wedding anniversary, the MC asked my father how they had managed to have a happy marriage for so long. My Father looked like he was contemplating his answer.....then reached up.....and turned on his hearing aid. That pretty much said it all.

ROFL!!!!

My wonderful step dad that married Mom the 5th & 7th time says when your wife or SO asks a question you really don't want to answer "You go fishing".

Honey, do these pants make my butt look big, "you go fishing". Don't answer, just go fishing. When John gets to bugging Mom too much by hanging around, Mom tells him to go fishing.

Mom & John have been married for 27 years now and they show it takes a sense of humor to stay married and not kill each other. Jphn really really loves Mom and that is so good. My dad was the 1st husband and in between him and John Mom had lots of drunks, wife beaters and just all around A*******, it's good she got a keeper finally.

Mom & I were talking the other day and decided if my DH & John died before us we didn't want to get remarried. Too much trouble breaking in a new one!!!!!!!

It's nice that I am not the only Alpha B**** out there. That's not always a bad thing.

PeggyP

That's pretty much what we did!!!! But, I don't think my Mom thought it was too funny....she's like that. So he took her out on the dance floor and they Rhumba'd for a bit,
and she was happy again....cagey old codger, ain't he?

Were a chatty lot here. Sheri that is too good. I was wondering when you OZZies would talk. Welcome to the wonderful deranged world in Kell`s head.

Molly nothing better than a man in chaps. Good for you. I think time is the problem. Most people make a commitment when their all warm and fuzzy instead of having time pass to see how they react to every type of situation and how they are together when it is not all butterflies and passion. Time is something no one wants to waste so in a relationship, we usually hurry through stuff and skim through the faults or differences and make up easier in the beginning of a relationship but after time you see what they are really made of. Either way, you can waste time in the long or short route.

Lenka just be happy and in time you will heal and move in a firm direction one way or another and it will just come to you, what you really want in the big picture.

Hi Wonder .
Yes you live in my fav. part of OZ besides SE QLD .
My # 2 son Just spent 6 months in Laverton .
I visited twice . Just love the Streets of Central Melbourne .
And the Dandenong’s . & Phillip Island Moto GP .
VIC is just perfect .

OOOOOO....do I see an OZ RU in ya'lls future? I would love to come...but not enough money!!

Jo

Kell - you better watch out! I LOVE OZ, and if you guys plan a RU, you will be hard pressed to keep me away!

Ozzies, What are your individual areas hi temps and low temps?

Hell ,
Here is a site where you can see my 3 day forecast .
http://www.google.com/ig?hl=en&gl=

Hi there Roadrunner!!! hows it going..

well here where i am, its south east melbourne. i live 10 minutes walk from the beach (its at the top of my street, in a suburb called chelsea. It originally was part of an area called carrum carrum which had a tribe of aboriginals living on it. it then became populated by white folks and divided into suburbs and renamed. though one of the suburbs is still called carrum.

if you look up my addy and go to google earth, you will actually see my house! just type in my address including country and it will take you there and show you what the satelite sees. I believe the pics are about 3-6 months old....

the highs temp wise where i am are about 42c in summer and can get down to 0 in winter. just a short drive into the dandenongs which is about 30 minutes away from me, they can get snow. we go to the dandenongs a lot and go to a place called the cuckoo.. lookit up its great!

In melbourne our weather changes a lot in one day, rain to sunshine but i love it! of course queensland is beautiful too. they have beautiful weather in winter and some amazing things to see. tropical if you like. melbourne is more frosty....

ANYONE who wants to come visit.... come on down and we will show you around!!

Hmmm, here in Melbourne Kentucky, the weather can change quickly, too--thirty degrees difference between morning and night sometimes, and stormy to sunny all in one hour. Do ya think they named it after the Oz city for that reason?? LOL

funny. yes probably. lol Our weather fluxuates a lot from morning to night too, all year around. sounds nice in Melbourne and Queensland too. I`ve seen movies there and it is beautiful.. Did you guys see the tape of the American chopper from when the tuttles were there in Oz? Sorry off topic, you can dmail me with an answer if you like.

One of my favorite movies, which I own & still watch over & over, is "Strictly Ballroom."
I keep up with Paul Mercurio's life & am sorry that he hasn't found the success he hoped for, though he has a good marriage & happy daughters, nothing to be sneezed at.

I've heard of a movie called 'THE TURTLES'
Most of it was filmed in the Sewers .

Maybe I should have mentioned that is an Australian movie! And Paul M. lives in Sydney.

I heard of that movie, maybe I`ll rent it now. Summer.

I never heard of the other one though.

http://www.paulmercurio.net/

actually paul has made quite a name for himself downunder. i saw him just the other day! no kidding,,,,
he rides his motorbike....he was outside a cafe having a chat. he works here on a show called 'dancing with the stars', he is a judge. He's made a few movies.....

sounds like your melbourne and ours are very much alike weather wise.

american chopper?? no sorry.

I guess I was lucky in that I waited till mid-life to marry, I had always said I'd never take the leap and didn't need to till I met the DH. He said the same so both of us ate the words and married for the first time in our 30's. Shocked the #@%% outta tons of people but it's a good marriage and I love the stubborn Chilean so guess I'll keep him, besides his Mom said it was to late to return him.

Yes that is your child to raise now, she`s washed her hands. I watched that movie Even Almighty today, it is really funny.

DH and I loved "Strictly Ballroom." If you haven't seen it, I urge you to! Right, Summer?

Oh yes! Tonight & every night.

mental note to self, maybe this week.

hey if i see him again, I'll ask him for his autograph for you!

the secret is we let them think they are the boss. but to be honest well no will not say i was.. though ...

Try and figure this out.
Standing at the pantry door, looking for the curry powder and not having any luck. I decided to ask OH where I could find it. With that I was told it was on the top shelf. After looking on the top shelf for some five minutes and still not having any luck, I decided to ask OH exactly where on the top shelf it was. At which point OH came over and put her hand straight on the curry powder. “Here it is dear” she told me. I stood bewildered for a minute before pointing out that she grabbed it from the second top shelf. Her reply was, “No, that’s the top shelf”. So I asked her “What is the shelf above it then?” and her reply was “That’s the VERY top shelf”. God give me strength. Kell

looks like you will need it Kell. Thanks for the chuckle though.

I tend to speak in half sentences thus frustrating most people. Say you are in my kitchen looking for a glass depending how you were facing I would just say 'up left'. Some get it some don't. Anyone else leave out major parts of a sentence and expect people to figure it out?

No, but Jack says I string words together in odd sequences, so the keywords are never where people are in the habit of listening for them.