Should Women Surrender to Men in Marriage ?

Here is another Quote .

There's nothing I love more than being with someone who makes me laugh 'til I cry! And I have been known to do that to people, too...

Good quote from James, too! Everyone needs their own life, otherwise they sap the life from others. Nobody respects a doormat.

You are so right, but there are jerks, male and female, who have them and want to keep them a doormat because of their own esteem issues. those people need help.

Ky that is a great trait in anyone. When I am stressed out I like to watch comedy central or BET comics and I should be sitting watching 24-7 right now. lol

Surrender is not an option. It is a fact of life. After 40 years with the same lady, I have learned that compromise is great, so long as I agree with her :-)

Yes blmlb ,
That turned BACK can be a Lonely place . lol

God has quite some humor, making us attracted to and to physically want to connect to a person who thinks nothing like you and feels and views almost everything differently than you. It is the square peg in the round hole, yet God is laughing his butt off I see watching us all try to figure out how to do it.

Amazingly through some miracle, some do it and figure it out early. I am slower on the other hand but I`m geting it and so is dh.

Nothing lonely about it so long as you come to realize over many years how best to survive. 40 years is a really long time, especially living with another personality right there at your elbow. Right there with her 40 years after the goggle-eyed "I do's", right there, remembering how 'hot-to-trot' we were, could not wait to get to a hotel room to enjoy one another, it now seems like it was almost surreal. Our 'friskiness' produced three lovely children. And I would not turn back the clock for a minute.
I find that it is now a time for fond memories. Who cares who the boss was, or is. Our lives were not dependent upon who was the most macho. We simply lived and loved. And if I am lucky I will have her holding my hand while I am in a hospital room, dying.
I read an earlier comment where somebody said he had had only had 2 arguments with his wife after 39 years. I can offer the same record. After 40 years my wife and I have only argued twice, as well. The first argument started in 1970 and did not end until 1986. Our second argument did not start until 1988, but I am hoping it will be resolved by the end of 2007.
So who cares who the boss is.

Ahhhhhhhhh blmlb ,
But think of the Making up after 19 years .

ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rolling, I`m rolling...me too,maybe we have had just one big fight in 7 years. lol

I'm so touched when, once in a great while, I see an elderly couple holding hands as they walk (and not just to hold each other up!), with a look of sweet contentment on their faces, and I wonder what they endured up to that point and still feel that way about each other.

me too, I think that and doubt it was always a smooth ride. I had some patients over the years that were eachothers best friends and ran around in their motor homes and joined friends to camp and all around the US. A lot of them had some passion for something that made it more fun, some were drinkers and met up with other drinkers and motor homed camp to camp meeting all their seasonal friends for drinks every day around the country.

I always said I wanted to be the old couple holding hands swinging on the porch admiring the gardens when I`m real old. (I want to have fun and fight now)

blmlb - that is so funny. actually our first fight was over wwhether i should buy a quart or a pint of chinese won ton soup. we had small children at the time and i said since ididn't eat won ton soup there was no need to buy a whole quart. she told me to get what i wanted and that was that. i bought a quart anyway. second disagreement was when she accused me of being a bad driver. we were on our way to conn. and just a few miles from home when she said this to me. i simply turned around and went back home. got out of the car and gave her the keys and told here if she didn;t like my driving she can go by herself which she did. she hasn't driven by herself since then.

i think wat really helped out was that by the time i got married (i was twenty five) i ahd already spend four years in the service stationed in italy. had been all over europe and had done just about everything i wanted to do and when i got back home i was ready to settle down. don't remember if i mentioned it on this thread but my wifes mom was my godmother and her parents were best man and maid of honor for my parents.

off to work now.

Cool story Franklin. That is probably a first I`ve heard. lol

My Husband is the head of our household. PERIOD. No getting out of it and no passing the buck. That means that if something is wrong he is to blame. I am his partner. That means that if something is good I get the credit.

As partners, if we agree on something we do it our way. If we do not agree I either do it my way or he does it his way or both or neither depending on our moods.

If it is something like ...what do you want for dinner...we go through the I don't care, whatever you want... back and forth until someone comes up with a preference....which is then usually declined by the other.

As for the "whither thou goest" part...He wanted to go to Los Angeles so we went for almost 20 years. Then I wanted to come north so we packed up and went. In each case it was not just a question of who wanted to do what but what would be best for us as a couple.

As for surrender, I guess for us that works both ways. You have to be willing to surrender to the good of the whole and if you truly are "as one" then nothing you ask of the other is going to be harmful since it is a part of yourself you would be harming.

We both surrendered our independent lives in exchange for one that is shared.

That was my serious answer.

But when he says "JUMP" I say "Yes dear, you go right ahead and jump as high as you want.....I'll sit here and watch"




This message was edited Jun 10, 2007 4:04 PM

good answer

it takes a REAL WOMAN to let her husband think HE is running the show. LOL

All very good answers Guys / Gals .
Get as Serious / Funny as you like .
It’s all good .
I have had 1 Criticism by D-Mail .
I feel this Thread is VERY relevant to gardening .
Getting into the garden often breaks the ICE .

Hi Ginger,

Ah, poo, you know the one bad apple thing.

This has been a very funny thread. I remember my ex husband
once telling me that my father told him the secret to a long marriage
was just two words. "Yes, dear."

He rebelled. We divorced. See how easy it is?

Bwa ha ha ha!

LOL

There are many subjects on many forums having nothing to do with gardening, just things that may interest a gardener in another aspect of life. We share some common interest and DG helps us find our other commonalities.

Some people can not be pleased. Good responses. DH and I used to say that we were like, "Everybody loves Raymond", only we weren`t funny. That show hit a lot of nerves with a lot of people, but it worked.

WUVIE ,
I have only one thing to say to your post .

I love Dave's Garden because the non-gardening related threads deepen friendships between people with one common interest. The closer the bond, the more likely we are to care enough about each other to help with gardening problems as well as other issues. Nothin' wrong with that!


Oh, and yep, Everybody Loves Raymond is my mother's favorite show. I don't think she realizes that she and Marie have a lot in common...LOL

This message was edited Jun 11, 2007 11:54 AM

I never got that head of household thing...DH and I are in it together so nobody is head of anything...lol if the poo hits the fan we both get covered in $#*!

Well sprayed araness , lol

Ky I`m rolling on that. Araness yes I think we spend alot of poo time here too, but we tend to be blamers for the poo.
I know I was taught the Bible says men are supposed to be the head of the home, but I struggle with the submission thing and you need a good leader if your going to go that way, that also listens and respects your input not a passive guy like my XH or a tyrant either.

I agree--the Bible says that the man is the head of the woman like Jesus is the head of the church. But men forget that Jesus was not a fat-headed, hateful, cheating tyrant, and that's why He was qualified to lead! I won't follow any man who won't follow Him!

AMEN!!!!

ditto and all the Christian hard headed women said Amen. ok were moving on, don`t be haters and send us mean emails.

LOL But I do realize not ALL of them are like that! Not the ones on DG!

My two bobs worth .

I'm sorry, but I'm a hopeless romantic .
I think people get married because they love one another .
i.e. it's a contract the "law" will never fully quantify.

Let's see - my wife and I have been married 42 years now and we're closer than we ever were.

There's no question of who's boss, we each try to make things good for the other. On important questions, we talk it over and agree.

If I come home with a new outboard motor, that's fine with her. If she comes home with an expensive piece of jewelry, that's fine with me. But, we both keep the budget in mind.

We recognize that we're different. Running a chain saw, building furniture, or working on a car are for me. Cooking and doing laundry are for her. But, we help each other when needed.

It's worked for us.

He wears the pants; I wear whatever I want!
( got that from my DH!)
Christie

I think most people get married because they love one another, but there are always those who marry for dysfunctional reasons. Of course those folks were dysfunctional before they ever met!

Hi Christie ,
Have you converted your neighbours yet ?
And how is the cockatiel going ?

DH told me to tell you he wears the pants but I pick them out.

I think people get married for love or /and lust, for the most part.

My story for today...


The husband, having just finished reading the book, 'Man of the House', strode into the kitchen and up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said: "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished I expect a sumptuous dessert.

Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair??"

His wife replied, "Yeh, The Undertaker!!!"

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!

Good one Hap .