What bugs you?

In Texas car passengers riding in the back seat do not have to use a seat belt by law. I guess I had forgotten about that the other day when my dd, my Mother, and I went plant shopping together. My Mother was riding in the back seat and I immediately told her to buckle up. Dd reminded me that she didn't have to buckle up.
I find that law very strange too. My grandbaby rides in the back seat in a special child's seat and is always buckled up.

Lin

Stinkerweed, I agree about not wanting my personal freedoms dictated, however, many folks don't have the insurance to cover their injuries if they aren't simply killed in a wreck. Then who pays if they need long term care? A person in a vegetative condition wouldn't need to worry. Of course, the same can happen with seatbelts, but the risk is lessened considerably.

If the majority of smokers were considerate of non-smokers, no legislation would be necessary. It seems the problem is when people think their personal freedoms are more important than any others' personal freedoms. One smoker can ruin the air for more than just one person. I know many are thoughtful about it (once upon a time, I was a smoker and always asked if it would offend, or left), but those that aren't are often downright obnoxious about it.

I discovered that not all brands of cigerettes trigger my headache, so it must have something to do with particular ingredients. Smoke from Marlboro Lights 100 were INSTANT pain, certain methols as well.

I'm glad CA has smoking laws. I love to eat out. It's problematic when travelling.

4paws, we have a helmet law in MA. For the very reason you mentioned, Cost of care.
Smoking has been pushed out of all work places, restaurants even bars.
Andy P

As a smoker, I too am glad that restaraunts and offices are smoke free. I can remember all too well the smoke filled office where even a chain smoker would beg for some air! I agree that a few people can make it miserable for many. But I also believe that businesses were beginning to become non smoking without laws forcing it on them and people were encouraging that trend by patronizing them. They took away the rights of the business owner and those who would choose to patronize a smoking allowed establishment.

My husband does not smoke. When we drive his car I do not smoke in it. I do not smoke in the house, even in the coldest throes of winter, out of love for him. This is not because I am ordered to do it but because I choose to even though he says the smoke does not bother him.

As for injuries of people with no insurance, That is for me a whole different can of worms. That we as a nation have such a majority of our population unable to afford health care is pathetic! Maybe someday they will figure out that it is better to legislate health care than it is to regulate our freedoms. But that is more than a mere pet peeve subject!

I've got another one ...

I can't stand intolerant people. You know who I'm talking about .. the ones that are always hollering "I can't believe he/she did that! Why didn't they do it like I would've?" Better described as, "Back in the good old days, when I was a kid, we didn't get away with that. Daddy would take us out on the back porch and beat it out of us if we did something that outrageous!"

People with "attitude".

Chuckle. My mom always warned me to keep my words sweet because someday I might have to eat them.

Having kids means you eat a lot of those phrases like "I'll NEVER [fill in the blank] like my parents did. Or "My kids will NEVER [fill in the blank] like I see other people's kids doing."

Yep, I've said "Because I'm the mom and I said so" (an answer which drove me nuts as a kid.)

And yes, I've eaten the words "My kids will never pitch a fit in the store or a restaurant."

And I also realized there's high value in wearing out a pint-size backside on occasion. And other old-timey notions about how to instill moral values (right from wrong), respect for authority, and ultimately self-discipline before they get to be taller than mom or dad. And yes, I now shake my head and wonder what in the world will happen with this next generation, just like my parents and grandparents did ;o) Shrug. Life (and raising kids) tend to change your perspective and humble you; funny how the old folks know more than I gave them credit for in my youth.

And mom was right all along: sweet words are much easier to take back than opinions spewed in moment of anger or haughtiness.

A comment on the warming backside....my dad used to joke that I got so tall because I was stretching out in front of the belt (always in trouble!). :-) That was a bit extreme, but he did follow up with discussion.

Add another peeve, most serious with me: racists and racist comments.

Racists, definitely a pet peeve of mine, too! And EGADS!!!!! My sister IS one!!!!

Some of my family members are as well, bivbiv, but they would never recognize it. I didn't take my husband (Inuit descent) to meet my uncle because I know how my uncle thinks. I was recently informed that I was living in the wrong place if I couldn't handle racism. I handle it - by responding to it, hopefully in a non-emotional way, but I can't let it slide.

4paws, Living on a reservation such as Hoopa as you do I imagine that you have heard many of the racist comments that can and do permeate through society. It is amazing that such attitudes still thrive in a so called enlightened society.

My daughter, at about 3-4 years old was told by my mother-in-law that she was Mexican and by my mother that she was an 'Okie'. She promptly put her hands on her hips and told them both that that made her a "messy okie" and proud of it! She is in her 30's now and still writes Messyokie on forms that ask for racial information.

what upsets me are the people that cannot say one nice thing about anything or anybdy. we have one in our family and she is very hard to be around. i don't remember her being that way when we were kids. can people change that much?????

Well I have a relative that sounds quite similar and don't remember them quite like that when I was a kid...I suppose my perception of them just isn't the same as I am sure they have always been that way. It's amazing they even give their always negative comments to me about me and my house when they come to visit ME! Very sad type of person to be and be around.

Negative people just drag you down to their level, if they can. Try and avoid them.

Tir - it's at least to their credit that they're not talking behind your back...:-)

Paws, you're so nice. My reaction would be if they're nasty to her face, they're probably worse behind her back. Oh well, I've had a bad day, so I'm probably in a pretty negative mood. :(

4paws.....oh you know how families are....gossip chains. So I hear stuff they said about what I'm up to and then they visit and tell me then to. LOL. Used to it though...and there's only 1 really negative person I've ever met in my life.

bivbiv...not nasty behind my back, just speaking with their mouth before thinking with their mind about tactfulness. =) had a grandma who always said she couldn't sugar coat things...didn't know when her time would be up, so she'd say whatever she thought. Which I can appreciate in many an instance but when it's just to critisize something (especially something you CANNOT change...I find it pointless and rude).

Me? Nice? lol
There was a bit of sarcasm in my words (raised in NY, what can I say? Not all NYers are sarcastic, though, eh, pirl?) lol

Sorry you had a bad day, bivbiv.


This message was edited Jul 7, 2006 7:39 AM

I've known people who seem proud of "telling it like it is....not mincing words....saying what they mean, meaning what they say," and the other clichés we've all heard. However, what some of these people take pride in is too often nothing more than a lack of sensitivity to the feelings of others. Rather than being a form of candor that they think deserves admiration, I believe in many cases it's just an aggressive personality asserting itself in a tactless and hurtful way. My sister takes great pride in her "honesty;" but I know she's really an angry person, and her honesty can be a battering ram. She has no concept of the value of diplomacy, nor of thinking before she speaks.

Well, my pet peeve right now is those certain telephone solicitation calls we receive every time when it's that particular time. Not *only* can these people call and solicit when hard working individuals trying to make a living were banded from doing so ... but now instead of taking the time to make a personal call ... I pick up the phone to a recording!!! :-( Now I *hate* solicitation from any source. If I want to make a purchase, or learn about a charity or decide who to vote for ... I don't need a phone call to figure this out. :-)

My #1 peeve, is people who judge others though. Woofens, I could feel your pain and understand where you are coming from in many ways. I think we need to be more careful of judging each other and stop and think about where that other person might have walked. I mean ... you just don't know what they've been through or what they're experiencing in their life. :-) Okay, that's my two cents. LOL

My biggest pet peeve is people who do not keep appointments on time,such as people who come to do some repair work or to deliver something to our house. An example, this morning my DH (who is on vacation) and I were up at 7:00 a.m. because a chap was to deliver topsoil to us at 8:00 a.m. that was what he said. He showed up at 10:15! I asked my husband at one point did he say 8:00 a.m. or p.m.? LOL Thanks for letting me vent.

That is annoying. We had a furniture store tell us to expect an ANY TIME delivery on a Saturday and we literally had to stay put...they finally got to us about 2 pm.

Well, you know folks, they are doing us a favor by selling that stuff to us in the first place.

Bivbiv, your observations are worth consideration.

What bugs me are:

1. People who make stupid suggestions as to how to solve all your problems, then when you're not wonderfully, humbly thankful to them forever and run out right away to do whatever dumb thing they told you to do, they get all bent out of shape and huffy!

2. Smokers who get all bent out of shape when I don't want to breathe the smoke they're blowing in my face. I'm asthmatic. I don't want a trip to the emergency room. I have the right to look after my health.

3. My neighbor's dog, who ran down the street and got his teeth around my hand yesterday. That animal hates me. I generally like dogs, but I'll make an exception for him.

Bivbiv, I know what you mean. I'm a writer, and I used to get involved in writers workshops. And always there was at least one person who would rake you over the coals, all the while smirking and acting superior, then if you didn't like it he/she would be all, "Hey, I'm just being honest! Can't you take it? Do you want me to lie?"

No, you're not being honest. You're being mean and rude and smug.

White - You and bivbiv have an excellent point with critical reviews. You've got all the words down so perfectly: "mean and rude and smug".

That superior attitude is a kick in the head. So is the seniority attitude - I've seen that one on DG and it's sickening. It doesn't give anyone the right to be "mean and rude and smug" but it doesn't stop them. They attack with glee and lie with great ease.

You know what really bugs me?

When I get my posterior stuck on my shoulders and just can't get it down! (ie. bad attitude!)

:-)

LOL Good description!

Another pet peeve for me is being asked a question and when I answer honestly that I don't know the answer the person rewords it as if I didn't understand the question. I understood what they were asking but changing the wording still doesn't put the answer to it into my knowledge. Which part of I DON"T KNOW is it they don't understand?

When asked for advice I try to give it to the best of my ability, sometimes offering several options to the situation. What the asker does or does not make of my advice is up to them. I always felt that most problems have multiple solutions and after you find them you are the one that decides which one fits your need the best. Just don't come back and be angry with me if you follow my advice and it doesn't help.I gave you advice not commands!

About advice -
in 12 Step groups there is this bit of wisdom:
"Take what you need and leave the rest". There is a LOT of wisdom in 12 Step thinking.

SO - if the shoe doesn't fit, there is no need for you to wear it, and how foolish for someone to try to cram it on your foot. Maybe you could tell them that.

wannadanc, that is great advice. I think I'm going to look up the 12 steps to see what other gems it contains. Sounds like it is not only for those who have addictions but good advice for anyone to live by.

I hate when somebody asks me a question and when they don't like the answer they get, they reword the question. Wording does not change the answer. Live with it! LOL My kids made an art form of this one. What part of NO don't you understand? Is it the "N" or the "O" that you are having trouble with? LOL

Stinkerweed - the 12 steps themselves are certainly the foundation to getting a handle on addictions and life, but the language of recovery is filled w/ pithy bits of wisdom that go well beyond addictive behaviors. Just as Dr. Phil has given (some) folks words w/ which to work, so, too, has the 12 step movement long been doing that. I find it SO helpful sometimes to have things broken down into the simplest components - it saves so much "babble" that is often disregarded by the listener.

wannadanc,
I found the 'big book' on line and have started reading it. It does, as you say, break things down into simple components. But it is also much more complex than I had expected and delves much deeper into the mental and spiritual aspects of life than the bits and pieces you see in films would have lead me to believe.

Stinkerweed - you are right that films don't do justice to the spirituality of 12 step stuff - and that spirituality doesn't find favor w/ everyone - which is about par for the course for most things in life. Nonetheless, I am glad to hear that you are finding it to be worth your while.

Apologies to anyone who may feel I/we have pirated the topic - we will turn control of the ship back over to the powers that be! This is an interesting thread.

Namaste

Au contraire! I've found it very interesting and informative. I'd love to see a whole thread on it. Thank you for sharing.

Pirl

I was a little confused when you mentioned a seniority attitude (9th July), did you mean seniority in personal age. length of membership or something else?

I get annoyed with me asking questions all the time, several people in the chatroom are kind enough to act as translator for language and cultural questions which must be number least 10 times per session (thank you Marylyn, Badseed and all you others who are kind enough to help me and sometimes know when I'm just about to ask that question :).

You know another thing I hate? "Cat fights." Especially where the fighters insist that everyone be scratched and blood be drawn. Cats, by the way, are much more civil when they fight. I have five, so I know.

I'm going to take a break from Dave's until the smell of blood goes away and the volume gets turned down. C ya.

Boy...when I saw the title of this thread I was thinking japanese beetles and aphids...LOL boy was I on the wrong track. :-)

lol
lol
That would be in Garden Foes, perhaps...

I got around the Japanese beetle problem this year. I cut off every rose and every bud! They will not be eating my roses.