What bugs you?

I put up a post a while back to make everybody stop & think what to be thankful for. Since I now know what makes ya'll happy, what makes ya angry? What burns your tooshie, and makes you want to smack somebody? I already know some of you despise bad grammer & spelling, don't like door-to-door evangelists, and spit fire at public displays of affection.....

Me? That's easy! I can't stand laziness. From the time I wake up, until I crash on the couch, I'm non-stop. Take today for example. I was up by 7am (sleeping in, by the way), cleaned house, did three loads of laundry, went grocery shopping (for me, and the horse), had lunch with a friend, went to Best Buy, got a new laptop computer, enjoyed a friend's lunch break with him while he was working at the mall (got a drink while he ate), came home, unloaded groceries, fed the critters, turned on the new computer, began playing.... I just don't "sit around". Dated a guy that would sit around for hours & hours. Drove me NUTS! All I could ever think was "good grief! get up! you've got to have something to do!"

There's other schtuff that bugs me, but I'll stick with that for now..

Who's next?

I'll have to stop and think.

I think it's kids who start playing outside and turn to screaming and fighting. When they laugh, they fade into the background, but fighting makes you look to see what the problem is. It completely disrupts the zen I've gotten myself into.

Kids throwing fits in stores. The whinning, crying, screaming, flinging themselves down on the floor, and major temper tantrums. Why the heck don't the parents, (at home) warn the little offenders of the consequences when they return home. I know you dare not discipline in public, but they could teach them proper public behavior at home.

I'm annoyed when the parent reaches into the cooler to hand them a 12 or 16 oz. pop, in the morning!

I have no tolerance for sneaks, liars, back stabbers, two faced people, brown nosers or losers. Laziness irks me too. I may not have *much* but what I do have, I worked hard for and came by honestly. Be real, be honest and do your best or stay out of my way. If you try to help yourself, I will help you. If you are honest, I've got your back. You have one shot at getting it right and finding hapiness so give it your best. And be kind to strangers as they might be your next best friend.

As far as parenting, I do the best I can. It's not so easy these days with all the experts and their crazy studies. LOL It's amazing most of us lived long enough and stayed out of jail long enough to be productive members of society and go on to reproduce and didn't even die from eating cookie dough. :)

Angel,

We share the same pet peeve! I just don't understand people who are lazy!!!! It seems so many in our culture want someone else to do it for them or take care of them. I don't mind so much if someone wants to be lazy, until it imposes upon me....a neighbor who won't mow and you can SEE their weeds are taller than the privacy fence....the person who has the dog tied in the yard and lets it bark bark bark every night (?) I mean you'd wish these things would bother people enough to get up and be a good steward.....but it doesn't.

Or the lazy mentality that gets people excited about an imposed health care plan for all, for example..... it just bothers me. I am all for helping the needy but it should always be short term, not a life plan, we are lucky to live here and there are opportunities to improve and learn each day....we should be glad to get out there and do an honest days work!

I'm with all of you so far.

People who blame their "bad luck" for their situations in life and never see their own willful ignorance and lack of responsibility are the reasons why they aren't as happy or as financially independent as they feel they should be.

Angel, laziness is probably my on top of my peeve list as well, which is different than just relaxing. However, if I stay away from lazy people, no worries. lol

Pirl,

Perfectly said! I remembered this quote from Dave Ramsey and will start to use it as words to LIVE BY:

"Blessings tend to come to those who work hard." ~ Dave Ramsey

He also says "Live today like no one else [meaning frugally and hard working] so you can live tomorrow like no one else."

I get mildly homicidal when I reach up into the top shelf of the medicine cabinet to get down one thing, and fifteen things fall down on the cupboard like a mini avalanche. This seems to happen to me every day of my life, no matter how careful I try to be. (How is that things I don't even TOUCH fall out?)

On a more serious note, I am very annoyed by people who will do something really nice for someone and then feel compelled to shout it from the rooftops so everyone knows how GENEROUS and WONDERFUL they are. It has always been my opinion that the most sincere and heartfelt kindnesses are the ones that are done ~quietly~. (I grew up watching a family member do this, and it really nauseates me.)

This message was edited Jul 2, 2006 10:06 PM

Inda - I'm with you. I had forgotten about how obnoxious I think it is when somebody shouts "I did something for someone else! Give me lots of glory for being charitable!" Giving of yourself (time, talent, money) should be a private and anonymous matter.

We used to have a wonderful morning radio guy, Jim Aylward, and he'd end each show with: Do something nice for somebody else and sometimes would add that it's twice as nice if nobody finds out who did it.

What bugs me is that he's no longer on the air here.

Intolerance makes me feel intolerant of the intolerant person, therefore causing feelings of hypocracy. Since I dislike intolerance and hypocracy and although I know there are things other than meeting intolerant and hypocritical people which causes intolerance and hypocracy in me, which I try hard to avoid, it doesn't mean I have to like it! *G*

People who call themselves straight talkers but are merely tactless and judgemental and become upset and hurt when spoken to in the same fashion or questioned about it. We can all be tactless and judgemental at times but some have it down to a fine art or even a way of life.

People who don't ask but demand and consider it asking. Please and thank you goes a long way as do other non demanding words and phrases. Like everyone else I've had good and bad jobs but the jobs where I've stayed the longest have been those who make a proper request and say thank you at the end of the day (and no they aren't always the good jobs either).

I agree that people who shout their good deeds from the rooftops can be annoying but I don't agree that all charity should be anonymous. It can be lots of fun doing something different or with other people for a good cause, stirs up enthusiasm for the cause and it gives the chosen charity some free and much needed publicity too.

Well, I guess I can say that I'm one who talks about my "charity" - the dogs - all the time. I love them to pieces, every last one of them, no matter what, and I talk about them because I love them and I want to find them good (the best) homes. Plus, most people think I'm completely nuts to live with so many, so if I say, "I do rescue," it makes it more understandable.

In addition, talking about my dogs has often led me to wonderful conversations with complete strangers about their dogs, many times with introductions. :-)

IndaShade, I can relate to that experience, and usually I'm tall enough to see the top of everything. Of course, because I'm tall, the upper zone is where I stash stuff that has no other home. The other day the UPS driver, a substitute, left me a package on TOP of my 6' gate. I didn't see it at all, and when I opened the gate to get the package (I saw him pulling out, not drop the package), it fell on my head. OOOOOOWWWWW - a half pound of seed!

I've been thinking about laziness, and have wondered if perhaps I've been too hard in my thoughts about some folks. They could be depressed or have some ailment or pain that makes them lazy.

Then another peeve would be people who jumped to conclusions about others based on their personal experience, which really may have nothing to do with the other person. Does that make sense? So, I'm often peeved with myself, as I have a LONG way to go in being perfect. :-)

My list is too long for here. LOL
I agree with Pirl, people who blame others for their misfortune tops the list, I guess.
People who feed Tater Tots to their kids every day and wonder why they are over weight.
Insincerity. I'll call you tomorrow, yea. Or say what they think you want to hear, 'yes men'.
People who litter.
Loud, obnoxious behavior.

I think that's enough for now.
Andy P

Oh yea, Foul language in public settings.

This message was edited Jul 3, 2006 6:23 PM

I have to weigh in here..... on the "screaming kids in public". I dislike people who assume that because my child is screaming in public, means that I'm spoiling them, or an irresponsible parent, or don't have control of my kids, or that they have no disclipline at home. My children suffer from something called Sensory Integration Disorder. The "temper tantrums" that you see, is my chids only way of expressing that they cannot take any more ..... be it their surroundings, the crowd, noise , basically whatever. They are called "meltdowns", and although they look like tantrums, my child is actually panicking inside and is really that upset. We try everything we can to prevent meltdowns, but sometimes they just can't be stopped. I get the dirty looks, the nasty comments, the downright rude remarks, and very unhelpful advice. My kids aren't abused, but they do know what a good smack on the behind is. A regular temper tamtrum is quickly stopped by a trip to the restroom, followed by a silent child rubbing a sore behind following me out of the restroom.

What else do I dislike.... oh yea, because my disabled child looks "normal", when she starts to act unappropiately for her age, I get rude remarks, and nasty comments. I should not have to explain to every sdtranger that doesn't like how my child is acting that she is MR/DD. And I don't. I just quietly tell them that I pray that they never have to deal with the problems that my daughter has, and the toll it has taken on my life, marriage, finances and other children.

Another, since my daughter is MR/DD, people sem to think they have to yell at her or talk very slowly to get their point acroos to her. If it is something she understands, just telling her like you would tell me is fine. If she doesn't understand, no matter how slowly you speak, or how loud you yell, she isn't going to understand.

Here's another.... We don't know why she is different. My other children are developmentally normal for the most part. If you want to know what is wrong with her, I'd be glad to tell you, but don't be rude and say things like well, what happened to her?

I dislike alot of the same things you all do also, but this is a bit personal to me.

Ok, off my soapbox, and this is not directed at any one person or persons, so please don't take offense. Just maybe be a bit more tolerant of the child that might have a problem that you can't see.

Hugs,
Janis

I, too, have a long list of dislikes in other people, but will share
my current peeve.

People who won't shut their mouths and open their minds.

Working from home, on the outside looking in, I see how many
people are so caught up in the rat race that they can't see themselves
in the mirror.

Hypocrites, racists, prejudice ignorance.

Those who look down their noses at those less fortunate.

I'll stop for now.

Janis, it always helps to have explanations. So maybe the next time we come across the situation, we will think of you and realize that some people have troubles all their own. I'm sorry you get the looks.

I'm getting immune to the looks, I think. It is hard to be a parent of a disabled child. I'm not complaining, I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything. She was given to me for a reason... she is still alive for a reason (she has been close to death numberous times)

You made the point I was trying to get across-

Especially when a child is involved.

My neighbor and her son embody several of my (and your) pet peeves. Her son (probably in his early 30's) doesn't work because he lost his driver's license due to too many DUI's. In the four years they've lived next door, he has never worked; so it looks as if he lost it for life! She allows him to be a freeloader. Of course, he could get a bus to go work somewhere; but that would mean walking about a mile, probably less, to the bus stop. Also, within walking distance is a convenience store that could be a job prospect. It's not too far for him to walk there to buy beer, but too far to walk to work! When his pit bull scared the daylights out of me, running at me barking and growling, we finally called Animal Control. He told my husband it was our fault he was fined almost $200! No, he was fined for not keeping the dog on a leash; he was fined for letting it trespass and for its being aggressive; he was fined for not having a dog license; he was fined because it had no rabies vaccination.

Yesterday I saw him returning home from a day of fishing, and it suddenly occurred to me: Wow, he lives like a retiree! He simply passed over the part most of us face and went directly to retirement! But he's living his life in reverse: When his mother is no longer around to support him, he might be forced to go to work. However, since he'll have no experience, his work will no doubt consist of panhandling. That, of course, will be the fault of govt. and society for not providing his financial support.

Btw, his mother sometimes pays to have her very small lawn mowed! Now, I've never been a mother...so easy for me to say...but I'd like to think that I'd do the right thing for my child and not enable him to be a lazy, rudderless adult with no purpose in life.

Oh, one more thing. When the animal control officer spoke with this paragon of virtue, he told the officer that he had cancer (a total lie). I guess it was some sort of bid for sympathy, but the officer wasn't fazed...and didn't believe him anyway. Is that weird or what?

One of my biggest pet peeves is RUDE people. Especially customer service employees. They don't seem to care anymore whether they get your business or not. And many of them don't get mine anymore.

Lin

High Pressure Salespeople. Another bug in my bonnet! lol I have had so many vacuum cleaner salesmen come to my house. Years ago I would let them do their boring demonstration and then try to politely tell them that I could not afford their product. Now I meet them in the yard when I see them drive up and let them know right off I'm not interested and don't have time for a demo. It usually makes them mad and they leave in a tiff. One guy even told me that because of me he wasn't going to get his quota for the month. lol I guess he needs to find another job.
Lin

LOL Lin, years ago when you let the salesmen do their demo and then told them you couldn't afford their product, you were probably THEIR pet peeve. Don't misunderstand; I don't mean that to sound critical...I realize you were just trying to be polite to them.

I'm with you on the high pressure. My husband and I were once told by a salesman that he was sorry he'd wasted his time with us! We had heard the pitch, told him we never made large purchases without discussing them, and said we'd be back the next day. Well, we were polite enough to go back the next day and tell him no! We could have just let him hang. Salespeople like that don't realize that they still could have gotten a referral even though we chose not to purchase. We had friends who might have decided otherwise.

In New Orleans we got the high pressure sales pitch for a condo unit. First the price was $29,000. but that day's special, just for us (ha), was $20,000. By the time we left it was $9,000. and we still said, "No, thank you".

I guess people who tell you a lie you know is a lie, because it is so obvious. Like they think you are an idiot.

My pet peeve is smokers who have no consideration for for the people around them. Smoke, especially cigarette smoke, is not only offensive to me but is the worst trigger for migraines for me. I end up in excruciating pain and am debilitated for 2 days because some selfish person thinks it is his/her right to pollute the air and put other's health at risk. The one commiting the offensive or potentially offensive act should be the one to be inconvenienced. Go outside away from others if you must smoke. And please don't stand in the door where the smoke comes into the building everytime the door is opened. I wonder, would a smoker be offended if a person chewing tobacco spit on them? How would a smoker feel if his/her second hand smoke triggered an asthma attack in a child which resulted in the death of the child? People really need to think before they do things.

I guess selfishness, of which the above is just one example, would actually be my biggest pet peeve. Making someone else's life harder just to make my own easier is wrong. I try not to do that. I think everyone should. It would make the world a better place to live if we didn't always think only of ourselves but instead put ourselves in others places. My .02 for what it's worth.

Similar to those who don't feel fit to go out unless they use a cup of perfume or after shave. Gets me nauseous!

Overbearing people who feel it's required to eat and use a cell phone (at the same time), in a restaurant, instead of excusing themselves. We even heard one at a memorial service!

Parents who allow their kids to run around in restaurants. I've had two kids and never allowed it and don't see the reason for it. Then, who's to "blame" when they trip someone up who's carrying hot coffee, etc.???

I'm with you, Pirl. I worked as a phlebotomist (blood drawer) at a hospital and there was a blood drawer who worked with us who bathed in perfume before she came to work. It was awful. Gave me headaches. Lab policy was NO perfume but she got away with it because she was an old drinking buddy of the boss. (Office politics is another pet peeve of mine) She wore so much perfume she sent a patient with severe asthma into respiritory arrest. That was only one of her faux pas. She was a train wreck and a danger to society. I was so glad when she moved on to greener pastures.

Smoke and perfume both give me migraines, especially when the perfume is combined with the other "fine" smells of cosmetics (hairsprays, gels, etc). I've come to the point of not being in crowds like I used to - fewer musical events, plays, etc. because of the risk of a migraine. Then, when I am exposed and am sick, I get angry, which certainly doesn't help matters.

It's a good thing I live so far out from the real world, I guess.

Our groomer, for the dog, uses a lavender scented spray that gives my husband sneezing fits. All three of us have to try and remember to tell her to just use a touch: "A little dab'll do you".

(An old commercial for all you young people!)

I know exactly what you mean. In our church denomination we feel is it wrong to smoke ( my own opinion and not stated to make anyone else feel hurt or defensive ) so I am pretty safe at most church functions. But going anywhere else is a roll of the dice, so to speak. Even trying to find a nonsmoking restaurant is very hard. It is almost impossible where we live. The ONLY one is McDonald's and it doesn't take long to get tired of their food. At times I have eaten in the car while the rest of the family eats in the restaurant. It's not a hard choice when a migraine is the alternative.

As far as perfume and aftershave go, I wonder that anyone would bother taking a bath and then slosh themselves full of odor. I like to smell clean after a shower. Just a dab of perfume for a subtle hint of fragrance on a special occassion is a nice touch. I wonder if they can even smell themselves.

One of my pet peeves is the constant passing of laws to restrict my personal freedom of choice. Such as seat belt laws. I realize that seat belts save lives and that laws to enforce their use to protect children may be necessary. But as an adult, I do not want the law telling me to use it. My personal safety is my personal responsibility. Let me decide if I value my life enough to wear it. Personally, I am going to buckle up but that is my choice and my responsibility.

As a smoker, my pet peeve is people who follow me outside (and away from open doors and windows) after I have excused myself to go have a cig. and then stand there and whine about second hand smoke while they lecture me about it. And other smokers who do not carry a container to dispose of their butts and toss them on the ground. You have the right to smoke but you do not have the right to litter!

Cajun - (smiling) you said:

I wonder that anyone would bother taking a bath and then .....

That's a big question: do they shower or do they feel they're "faking it" by dousing with the Eau de Nausea?

I think I would sooner smell honest stink than "Eau dear Lord, How Much Of That Did You Use". BO has never given me a migraine.
May have gagged me a couple of times. LOL Not really. I worked as an EMT/FireFighter. I don't think there is anything I have not smelled. I have always had a strong stomach and delighted in tormenting some of the guys in the department who didn't. But only when they got too big for their britches and had to be knocked down a rung or two.

I find that voting w/ my feet is the best remedy to the pet peeves in life. No matter how upset we might get w/ a situation, the chances are that we are not going to get anyone to change their behaviors. We can only manage our own reactions. When I stick around and p*** and moan about the circumstances, I am punishing myself. I agree w/ so much of what is written here .......but that isn't going to get boorish people to adopt appropriate behaviors.

In those circumstances where I can't leave (as in being a passenger on a tour bus) - I try to vote w/ the mind and leave that way. For those w/ allergic reactions, there isn't a mind cure available. I suppose I would carry whatever remedial substances are recommended - antihistamines and such. Certainly one IS going to encounter perfumes, aftershaves, hair spray, and sadly - cigarette smoke. Some tours actually forbid you to wear any fragrances - that is a good thing.

When I WAS a smoker, I would leave the area to avoid upsetting people. Now that I am not a smoker, I deliberately go visit w/ those who are. I remember what it was like to feel like some kind of demon, and so I do what I can to NOT be an obnoxious sanctimonious former smoker. If I was allergic, I could not do that, of course.

So there is my advice for the day - not that anyone asked for it. What was asked for was my "peeve" - and I thought it might be more helpful to simply talk about coping mechanisms.

I appreciated the information about child outbursts. More often than that, however, it is the parent outbursts that upset me - situations where it might be possible that a child is being abused. That is a tough one to witness.

Stinkerweed,
Why is that you are required to wear a seatbelt in a car but not required to wear a helmet on a motorcycle? (I think that may vary in some states) Just one of those things that make you say, "Hmmm"

On second hand smoke: Do you think they may be drawn to the smoke like a bug to a bug light? Don't look at the light! Don't look at the light! ZZZAP!!! LOL

Hmmm, you may have a point about the bug light affect! LOL

Here in California the helmets are another law that says you are old enough to ride or drive a motercycle but too ignorant to decide it your head is worth saving. I don't advocate stupidity but I do not feel the need to pass legislation to make it a crime to act stupid.

LOL Bivbiv I'm sure I have been the vacuum cleaner salesmen's 'pet peeve'. ;) Those guys probably think about what kind of reception they'll get every time they knock on a door. LOL

Lin