A banning today - Breezymeadows

I'm monitoring it. :)

Heehee, but... but..... I just wanted to finish with........Brinda, do ya think when I get to be 70 I can get back into that bikini? Better not throw it away, just yet.

Ewwwww

Molly
:^)))

Sorry to say MollyMc, I'm 75 and I STILL can't fit into a bikini. LOL Just waiting for that weight drop. Probably could hurry it along if I didn't love Lil' Debbie cakes so much!
Pati

Especially the oatmeal one! Yum!

OMG Molly! I figured it out! We have homesteader body disorder!! LOL We acquired too much pleasure at one time and even a ton of work won't counteract it. LOL Now that you mention that other problem, I better lose weight now so there is room in my skin in a few years!

Dave, are you trying to see how many topics one post on a member removal can hit? LOL

Anychance we'll have a forum for overweight gardening soon? First post could be how to put in a garden while holding a Little Debbie cake in one hand. :)

Carmen, you are so wrong! It's the Nutty Bars!!

This thread has been pointed out to me this morning,just finished reading it.Very interesting .

There are as always so many different opinions as in every walk of life.Rudeness,troublemakers are beeing ignored by this member just as obscene /vulgar words that might sneak into a post.

I noticed that several apologies were posted,so I did some soul searching and wondered why alot of times my own threads/posts receive very few answers.
That brought to mind that I write in capital letters alot of times to put emphasis on something I want to point out.
Then I heard somewhere that that means shouting.I was not aware of that and if this offends someone not to answer my posts etc. I truly apologize if this is/was a problem.

Thanks Dave and Terry for a wonderful,informative ,friendly site,keep up the good work,
Brigitte

Zuzu was right. It's mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa:
through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault.

Does anyone want to count the apologies here? I count six for "apologize". Of course, :-), I could be wrong and in that event I apologize.

I find five "sorry's"

I'm so sorry that I missed the "sorry's". Shall I apologize?

What a sorry thread!!! LOL

If we had to apologize to our plants as often as we apologize to each other the world would be a desert. (Before anyone complains I offer my sincere apologies to all desert dwellers. I used to live in the high desert and I loved it; it is just not my idea of a great place to garden. LOL)

On the subject of apologies, some food for thought:

I once had a friend (whom I had quite unintentionally wronged) bring me up short when I apologized with the tried-and-true "If I've offended you, I'm sorry" kind of apology.

As sincere as I my apology was (from my perspective), she rightfully pointed out that by qualifying my apology, I wasn't taking responsibility for what I had done to offend her.

After thinking about it for a while, I had to agree.

"If I offended you...." means: "For the life of me, I don't see how anyone could take offense; but hey, if you really are that thin-skinned.....well then I'm sorry.)

It was a humbling lesson to learn, as this friend wasn't the nicest or kindest person in the world herself (apologizing to her wasn't easy!), but it was a lesson that has stood me in good stead for many years ;o)

I am so glad I didn't qualify my apologies. Whew!

Very decent point.

BUT, if we all went back and removed everything that could possibly offend anyone, there'd be an awful lot of empty text boxes. LOL

I think the thing is, we post something thinking the 5-10 other people on the thread, will find it amusing or relate. It's the other hundred thousand people that might see it..............ruh roh!

I was going to ask, "But didn't you really mean that you truly never intended to give anyone offense with your remarks?", and then I stopped and thought again.

Terry, you are absolutely right. If this happened to me it would have been lack of thought on my part that gave rise to the problem. That is, not troubling to think before I opened my big mouth about what I was going to say, how I was going to say it, and how others might perceive it and perhaps be offended - intentionally or not.

--Ginny

I am going to play devil's advocate here. Anything ever said could potentially offend somebody somewhere. So I have several options. I can never say anything because someone somewhere might be offended. Or I can say what I want to say and apologize if someone complains to me. The apology is sincere in that I did not post my remarks with the intent of upsetting them. I don't like to upset people so I am sincerely sorry that they are offended. Still, I said what I said because I meant it (no malice involved) so I am not apologizing for having said it.

I try to live by the rules, i.e. if swear words, political and religious discussions are not allowed, I don't partake of them. I also try to treat others as I would like to be treated. If someone lets me know they are offended by something I said and in the process educates me about a blind spot I was unaware of, then I will not only apologize but thank them for making me a more aware person. If someone wants me to apologize because I have a different view of the topic than they do, I don't see any need for an apology. I respect their right to their viewpoint. I hope they will respect mine. If they don't, I am not going to try to make them come around to my point of view and I am not going to apologize for having a different point of view.

It is a very tricky subject. Sometimes the 'offender' doesn't consider others feelings. Sometimes the 'offender' doesn't care. Sometimes the 'offender' wants to hurt other people. Sometimes the 'offended' are speaking up to have their rights respected. Sometimes the 'offended' are offended because they believe nobody has the right to view things differently than they do .

Where do you draw the line? I think respect is crucial. If you respect the rules of the site (you might not always agree with them but if you are going to participate you better respect them), respect the rights of others to disagree, respectfully try to resolve any disagreements and avoid those people who need to control and manipulate others, I think you can enjoy some wonderful gardeners, plants and information on DG. And isn't that why most of us are here?

and in general NoH20...I think most people don't have any major issues. I at least I usually don't - at least not on DG..

One thing I see is that comedy (humor) is always at someones expense. We all enjoy it but not at our expense. There are things and people who it is OK to make comedy. IE Men, women, blondes(and they aren't all female) but even these hurt someone. I know as a man all the "comedy" of stupid, couch potatoe, can't run a vacuum men on commercials bother me. A good example is when a woman hits, kicks,humiliates a man in a movie =hahaha but it were reversed no one laughs.

My Dad taught me to use the "Golden Rule". Treat others like I want to be treated! I have tried to live this way. I'm not usu disappointed, but there are some that, like leopards, will never change their spots! Regardless, I do not have to reduce myself to their level. ~ Suzi :)

Soferdig, I agree that most of the humor I see is at someone's expense (I personally hate jokes about how stupid Southerners are). My husband is great at jokes that don't put anyone down. This morning he asked me, "What do you think the sequel of Brokemount Mountain is"? His answer was "The Shoot Out at the Crate and Barrel." This wasn't the funniest joke he has ever told, but it illustrates my point. It was silly, it didn't put anyone at risk, and we had a laugh over it. He has done a lot better, but this was today's joke.

How many members do we have in the Garden now? that's how many different personalities we are all dealing with on a daily basis. i think we do pretty good myself. i also think that we are all doing the best we can or know how. some do it better than others, but we don't know why that is. everyone here has a life apart from DG and that has to come into play everytime a person posts. as i've said before, i'm here for the gardening. i do get drawn in from time to time on an interesting thread which contains nothing about gardening, like this one. i'm curious as to exactly why the banning was made public knowledge and if this is common practice here at DG. i hadn't seen an announcement like this one before.
regardless of the reasons, i'm sticking to my belief that this is a website like no other and the only way i'll leave is when you see my name posted in bright lights on a banishment thread. my two cents, for what it's worth. debi

oh i have had my share of warnings over the years and actually have made some people never talk to me agian due to things but thats life.

everyday is a learning expierence. everyone makes mistakes and if you cant learn from them then its time to move out the garden as granny used to say.


i think my thighs didnt listen to my brain when it said no more sweets because we are getting older. 30 pounds has crept on them over the last few years. dh says its normal middle age spread but i dont have to like it none. i think i can handle the weight but the dang HOT FLASHES have to go.

They will Marie, give it a little more time.

:^)))

:} i hope so. gosh they seem to just be starting for me. i am in my mid 30s and doctor says they are rare to start early but not so rare its unheard of.

im glad dh likes it cold to sleep. hehe

LOL - another topic for this thread - I love it!

Stay tuned ladies......I'm 75 and I'll let you know when they stop! LOL
Pati

WHAT? Please tell me that you're not serious? LOL

Oh yes, I'm serious. Fortunately I only have them at night now, and usually when it's very cold weather. It really doesn't bother anyone but the cat......me throwing off the covers usually puts him in a snit! LOL
Pati

i have a cat who likes to sleep under my covers too. but when i get hot he doesnt help the issue any. hehe

i hate sweating at night. shoot being a woman is tough.

i keep editing my typing for fear of religious comment. i will say that apple is to blame.

hmmm wondering if moving to antarticia might help?? hehe

I've enjoyed this thread, what a wide range!

In reading posts, not necessarily on this board, but on the internet,
I often wonder if people would post the same things if their mother
was going to read it.

If their family would read it.

If their friends, relatives, co-workers could read it.

If your picture were attached, would you say the same thing?

If your comments were going to show up in the local town newspaper
with your name attached, would you post what you just did?

I might blush at a few things I've said if my mother read them, but I try
to type as though I were speaking. Granted, I add a touch more humor
to my writing than I would in person. I'm not as outgoing in person.

Regarding the weight issue. How true, Badseed, it is on both ends of the spectrum.
Too often "You're SO skinny!" comes out of someone's mouth and my first
thought is to say something not so nice in return. But I don't. I just assume the
person is ignorant. Too many times this type of statement is 'excused' by cover
of "Oh, it's a compliment." Trading the polar opposite, it doesn't get any better.

In this day and age, open mouth and insert foot is pretty popular. If only people
would think about what rolls off their tongue before it spills on the table, the
keyboard, the conversation.

Amen, Wuvie. Our tongues are the hardest things to control.

Diane

I have only been lurking on this very interesting thread but I find that it is getting way too long. Maybe it needs to be continued in a new thread so the folks with dial-up won't go insane trying to access it!

Just my two cents and I'm sure it won't go over that well with some people. I retired last year from being a Human Resources manager with a very large company. It all just got too complicated. People have lost their sense of humor because of this politically correct world we now live in. Everything offends someone and most people are just out looking for something to offend them. I finally threw in the towel and retired because of this. I couldn't keep up with all the new forms of being PC, like "vertically challenged" to describe someone that is overweight. That is just one example. People are being censored at work, creativity is at an all time low, no one can say what they think any longer, everyone must now watch their step, and the list goes on and on. Humor has basically disappeared and you can tell by looking at the people on the streets. Do they smile as much as before? Everyone is stressed. Some people are offended by something as simple as a minor swear word that used to be classified as slang. There is certainly no problem with watching it on TV though, or listening to it on the radio, or reading it in the newspaper or a magazine. People need to lighten up and realize that humor is flexible and makes the world an easier place to live. Please notice that I never used the term "sorry if I offended someone" in this post. My personal motto has become: "Smile. It confuses people."

Ahhhh another Atlas who shrugged. Yes so true!

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've said, Chunx. Thanks for saying it.

:)

Thanks chunx! You really hit the nail on the head with this sentence:

Everything offends someone and most people are just out looking for something to offend them.

Chunx that is very very very true, working for the schools we have to be very very quite all the time about all types of things would be nice if people learned to just let most things go with just a smile!

Our world is much meaner than it used to be, and no one trusts anyone anymore. You don't know what someone might smile at or will they pull their gun and shoot you. Very little respect for anyone who is different or who may be struggling. I follow the smile at everyone rule and feel if they don't smile back they are the loser. Hard to raise children in this environment.

Unfortunately Fayetteville has become one of the troubled spots,used to be nice when we lived there quite a few years ago.