A banning today - Breezymeadows

bksmall: please understand that I realize we can all make grammatical and spelling errors but some people love abusing the language and I just find it irritating, which is why I'd, personally, love to have an Ignore switch. Not having that option I just tune out for a few days.

Perhaps I am just lazy, but I just don't read any comments from people who irritate me. There are more than enough comments to keep me busy without those, and the vast majority are from wonderful people. Dotti

Pirl,

I agree, I think you and I are referring to the same type of lazy communication.
The "u no i got 2 b cuz i do" nonsense.

There is another board I belong to, not garden related, which does feature
the ignore button, and just as IndaShade pointed out, it looks funny when
certain posts are missing.

Inda wrote: The bully posse vehemently argued against it because
it's no fun to be a bully if no one listens to you.

More true words were never spoken.

Wuvie: Absolutely! It's not a lack of education but a desire to be computer illiterate and they excel at it.

I love learning and when someone has something I'd like to know about but garbles the message with their brand of writing I lose what I could have learned because reading it is so difficult.

Inda's comment was right to the point about bullying! We all do have the power to hit the infamous "unwatch" if we were to get weary of the example as set forth above, by Inda. We can do the exact same thing if we feel there's bullying going on. I truly respect the right of those who hold onto their beliefs and don't consider that to be bullying.

It could be quite interesting to see a thread about "What makes you go whining" but I wonder if anyone would post to it.

Oh I don't know Pirl, it might be very therapeutic (or boring). LOL I'm sure I could work myself up to a very serious whine about a lot of things.

Me, too! Henk being held captive would be #1.

I have one or two who enjoy answering questions posed to me. I ignore their answers with out acknowledging them instead of getting into a cyber mud sling.
Life is wonderful afterr menopause when things get less serious.
Dave has banned someone he hasn't bragged about and several have I believe silently left because of this. The fellow has MS and DG was a real lifeliine for him.
I sorely miss those folks.
Sidney

From the emails I've received I can say many of us miss many who aren't here anymore.

When DG is a lifeline, it behooves the member to refrain from using a machete to cut the tether rope. (Or to use an old proverb, to bite the hand that's feeding them.)

The rules are the same for all here, and if someone doesn't like or agree with the rules, we would be the first to encourage them to find another website that fits their style and demeanor. But it's not fair to thousands of members for us to ignore chronic bad behavior, or suspend the rules for those who like to snub their nose at rules (and at us for trying to gently enforce them.)

It is never fun to reprimand a member, let alone make the decision to ban them. I've watched Dave agonize over some people's behavior, and work with them for months, encouraging them to straighten things out for themselves. Most do; some don't.

Judging from the emails we receive, while some might disagree with our decisions (and yes, they tell us so - and yes, we remain on quite friendly terms after they do ;o) countless more heave a sigh of relief when a particular member has decided to leave (or has had the decision made for them.)

I remember on another site.......A new person came in like gang-busters. He had the credentials, hype, knowledge, etc. He blazed like a meteor....and burned out quickly. Course he would quickly be bored with "normal" humans and have to move on to new territory.

Terry: I hope I can ask this question without giving you grief - please feel free to delete it if you feel that's what should be done.

Do you find that it's mostly the same people who complain, over and over, or are there many who complain?

I know you've explained before that many who complain find it impossible to write to those they consider offensive and go to the Administrators first. I'm guessing it also protects them from what they may perceive as being viewed as the bad guys/gals but it still seems so unfriendly of them compared to the 99% friendly spirit I see here.

It's hard for me to express how touched I've been by many gifts sent to my daughter for her baby shower in January from the greatest people on DG. These gifts (and others that either I've given or other people have given as well as very helpful and uplifting words) are never made public and I guess it should be that way or they'd be likely to be preyed upon yet it still seems as though it's not fair to ignore the good they do and have done.

pirl, some people do regularly report what they consider to be problem threads. We act on some of their reports, others we don't.

Sometimes a thread or issue will generate reports from people who have never spoken up before, and never do again. Shrug.

It's really a mixed bag - it would be difficult (and probably dangerous) to try to draw any conclusions about why people report issues to us.

I just know I'm thankful someone takes the time to nudge us, because I think a lot of folks think we see all and know all that goes on here. Presently we have two full-time admins (Dave and myself; Dave's wife Trish fills in when she's needed); our PF editors focus strictly on PlantFiles issues and error reports.

Do the math: two admins covering all the activity generated by 200,000 members and several hundred thousand more visitors each month = an impossible task to read every post. Being alerted when there's a potential problem lets us spend more of our time and effort on the activities that help DG grow.

Thank you for replying.

You're welcome ;o)

AND that is what makes Dave's Garden great. The Admins are real people with huge interest in the site working well for almost all of us.

I really appreciate their efforts.

I have made my living programming for many years and am very impressed at how few problems crop up on such a complicated program. Dave impresses me.

oh no, now the big head, i see it coming, run, run,..................LOL

Trackinsand, I think a swelled head would be hard to keep after one of the members with longevity reminds everyone about the tricycle picture or the the new hairdo. LOL Dotti

LOL Dotti, Love Lies Bleeding on a Swelled Head.

Where is that picture? Debi's description makes it so tempting to view.

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/115582/

Who is this anyway?

oh good, you found it. i did a search, but it was taking too long so i went forum hopping!

OMG - Debi was right on track, as usual.

In general, most people have good intentions when they join Dave's Garden. Based on my own experiences, you get a little drunk on all the comradery and hospitality at first, and it's easy to push the limits without really meaning to. It takes a while to get a feel for the mood here, and it takes a little intuition and some good communication skills to find your spot.

For myself, I wouldn't want an 'Ignore Button'. It would be too easy to make judgements about members and write them off. In the process, I'd be limiting my own experiences and I could miss out on some good exchanges with others. When I find I clash with someone, I usually try to straighten out the differences, but if that doesn't work, I just go work in the Plantfiles for a day or two until it blows over! The Plantfiles would be in pretty good shape if we all did that rather than snip at each other or force Admin to step in.

WZ,
"Based on my own experiences, you get a little drunk..." wasn't too sure where you were headed with that at first! ROTLOLMBO You did get my attention tho!

i agree with Weez. personally, i have my own ignore button, it's in my head and on the tips of my fingers. "just move on" is what i do, there's way too much good on DG to focus on alittle bad.

LOL! I didn't even mean to be provocative! I guess I should have said I 'felt a bit heady'!

Most of what you've said, Weezin, I agree with and yet, after six months of trying to wade through specific posters responses I have to hit "unwatch" and forget the thread ever existed: they tend to raise my blood pressure. One, especially, told me what I could do if I didn't like it! Talk about shock and awe!

Debi - you're so busy keeping your grout Clorox clean that I'm surprised you find time to even turn the computer on: I'm so jealous! :-)

Pirl, is that person still a member of DG after treating you that way?

I have been on here long enough to see certain patterns. There are some people who appear so very friendly and warm and quickly gather a group of friends. Then they use these friends to attack certain people they don't like. Much of their manipulating is done behind the scenes and often times I think their pack of friends are not really aware of how they are being used. Sometimes these individuals are finally recognized as the malicious people they really are and are banned. Other times, I am sorry to say, they continue their nasty attacks. When I see someone engaging in this kind of behavior I give them a wide berth (actually I try to stay away from them altogether if possible). There are too many good people, and too many wonderful plants, to waste time engaging with people like that. For those people, gardening seems to come in a distant second to power tripping.

pirl, you are going to have everyone thinking i'm a clean freak and nothing could be further from the truth! LOL pictures can be sooooo deceiving. gotta go, i see dirt--------------------->

If everyone ignored their postings perhaps they would go away!! Dotti

sometimes they do.

One man's ceiling is another man's floor. What entertains some of us will seem silly to others. What is informative to me could be old hat to you. We are a diverse group. That is why there are so many forums and threads. Just take what you like and leave the rest. We cannot expect people to share our sense of style, sense of humor, level of gardening knowledge and our temperments. But we can ignore them or graciously work around them.

On the other hand,if I found out from another member or from admin. that I truly offended someone, I would want to rectify it. If a member refuses to work it out or follow a rule, doesn't that say something?

Dave

Debi - one peek at your grounds and your grout and I have to doubt your words: you are spotless.

NoH20 - I guess the three of them are still here. I've given up on every thread on which they posted. You are 100% correct in what you said about certain nameless people who attack so unfairly. I refuse to deal with them or write in response to their posts - as they are free to ignore me. I'd love to say who they did what to but then they'd start all over again on this person.

Me, too, Dave. I'd want the chance to make things right and that's why I asked Terry if it was the same group of whiners all the time who run to Adminstrators rather than just dropping a note and saying what bothers them.

I want to make clear that when I wrote about some manipulative people being banned I was not referring to Breezymeadow.

I do think it is a shame that some bad apples can make so much trouble on a site that should be so enjoyable. I guess Dave's really is like a family in many ways and some of them are unfortunate. (Often I log on to DG to get away from my family. LOL)

I thank you NoH20 for your words.

You and LaLambChop are my all time favorite traders!

I have learned to avoid Invasives: WOW! Talk about explosive, manipulative, bullying, slanderous and demeaning! I felt, for the first time, I could see Dave's point of view about it being such a hot topic! I was even sorry my address was on DG: I thought some people would be coming after me. WAY TOO HOT FOR ME TO HANDLE!

LOL, Pirl. I think the term 'Invasives' is a good description!

Right on!

Almost two years ago I sent an email to a CT radio station complaining about a big time host who used a crude variation on the word "Mother" not once but many times. I found it just that offensive.

Lo and behold the following Sunday he launched a four hour diatribe against me! I went out to garden, to get away from the attack - although he didn't say my name he did say the name of the town where I live. All of a sudden I heard the screech of tires coming around the corner and all I could envision was that his buddies were out to "rub me out". I hit the ground so fast, lying low until I felt it was safe. Funny as I look back but not at the time.

OMGosh, Pirl!!! That must have been some letter you wrote! lol Good for you. I can just see you tho, lying on the lawn, trying to quickly cover yourself with compost and grass clippings...you poor thing.

It was panic time!

It always reminds me of the line (maybe Woody Allen's?) "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you".

LOL!