Best/Worse/What did I learn today? Chat with friends

Wide awake now LindaKay but am sure as the day goes on I will indeed nap until I find a project to do lol
How late did you stay up?
Have you been putting your afghan together?

Threads are so quiet today, everyone must be sleeping in!

Just spoke to Ann, guess the Doctor didn't have good bedside manners.

Told Ann's nephew, there are two kinds of testicle cancer, one is 90% operable the other not so, normally terminal..guess young lad asked, which do I have, doctor answers, you are too old for the 1st..guess that means it is not good news. Ann is beside herself..

OH NO! That is a terrible way to say that! Sorry to hear it is not a good outcome for him, please let her know we are sending prayers!
Yes, I am sewing the granny squares together. I have it about half done, so hopefully this weekend or early next week, I will have it done!

That's awful. Hard enough to have cancer but then to have a doctor like that. That's beyond a lack of empathy.

Prayers for Ann and her nephew.

katie

Lots of deaths in Ann's family over the past year..5 close to her, husband and MIL within days of each other, SIL, Aunt/Uncle and now to have this..overwhelming for her.

Look forward to seeing the finished project LindaKay..I must remember tonight to get a flat rate box out and get the books posted.

Aunt Muriel is coming for me to help put her rag quilt together.

Tomorrow after work before I pack for Buffalo must go through totes looking for the skates, need to order wood so I can get the craft day project packages done..which reminds me, must mark of my list of NEEDS, christmas pre-painted decals that will be rubbed onto the skates..am sure Holly Hobby/Michaels/Joann's will surely have some nice ones.

Need to pack as well but that is easy, so used to packing it becomes 2nd nature..lol

Katie, you behaving yourself today?

I mailed your postage out last week, so watch your mailbox for a letter size envelope.

Will do

That is just very unprofessional in my opinion. However, it does happen as I experienced with Ross.
When his report came back it was already Stage IV , the doctor looks at us both and said " well we can't live forever". That is when we changed to the oncology doctors at Shands.

Talk about being insensitive Marion..

On Christmas morning when Roger was seen by specialist we were told more tests being done and likely he'd come home in a few days..meanwhile there was a young intern on the floor and by Christmas Eve Roger was going downhill quickly but we still had hope..young intern by late evening stopped me as I walked back and forth down the hallway, asked if I noticed things weren't going well, explained what specialist said in the morning, he looked so sad, said that I had a right to know the truth and to have the nurses call specialist and tell him I wanted the truth, he went on to say Roger was so ill he might not make the night..talk about an up and down roller coaster..sometimes I guess truth is better but they could sugar coat the truth a bit

I experienced the same bed side manner with DD at age 3 1/2. They said "we can cure this one...but she will develop another cancer at some point, lets hope that is treatable also". Thankfully...no second cancer, but enough long term issues that keep us spinning. He also let us know it was HIS birthday and he got called away from his family to come to the ER and tell us THAT news.

I think they get cold....and immune...to what they have to tell families after so long.

I agree Debbie.

You've been blessed Debbie..

The day after Christmas they moved Roger to another hospital..actually that Dr. Gregg looked young than my 2 boys and he was a specialist..I was sitting on a chair, he pulled up a stool in front of me, I will always remember, he gazed directly at the wall behind me when he spoke to say Roger would not live much longer..that there could be no operation or no meds that would help, I kept turning around to look at the wall because I couldn't figure out who he might be talking to behind me or what was behind me, guess he could not look into my eyes to tell me the news so easier to pinpoint an area to stare at..

can't imagine what pain they see in the family when they tell them such things..you'd have to turn cold I guess

A well developed sense of detachment....My Mom was an ICU nurse...when I wanted to go to nursing school, her only objection was that she did not feel I could develop that detachment. She said it was necessary to have that to perform your job and not wind up crazy or totally ineffective. She was right...I resigned my scholarships at the end of the first year. BUT, there is no excuse for callousness. i watched her care for one of her closest friends with gentle compassion and smiles and address the family with truth and consideration and never once did she seem uncaring or cold.....sometimes doctors do not see people and their families....they see an illness with a known end result and lose sight of the fact that there is great emotion playing out in front of them.....so sad when they ignore the human condition. I believe that the family should take the doctor to task on that, explaining that while it is just another....whatever the problem...to the doctor, it is a mother, a father, a spouse or a child to the family and they deserve compassion as much as the patient.

soap box stowed away for now...grin

Jean, sometimes being on our "soapbox" is a good thing. I know I do every now and then. :-)

Yup...sometimes venting requires a little extra height...GRIN I have read studies done on medical personnel and the happiest and most successful were the ones that could give kind and good care while maintaining a certain professional distance emotionally. They were also the ones with the highest patient approval ratings.

I want to weigh in here on the other end of the spectrum. Other than an insensitive rookie intern Santa Warren and I were treated with respect and the truth at every step of the way. Hearing all of these stories just reinforces in my mind how wonderful all of our oncology staff was to us. The truth hurt and it hurt badly but these people were nothing but honest with us and in a caring way. No one wants to hear you have such a short time to live and that there are no options but somehow this Oncology staff had the words to do so without carving out our hearts completely.

That being said I am so sorry so many of you were treated so badly by Oncology staff. As Moon says it takes a special person to work that job and not anyone can.One of the last nights Warren was alive in the hospital I was confronted with a callous, cavalier resident from another discipline. He raised my blood pressure to the point I thought I would have a stroke. He left Warren while unconscious screaming in pain and struggling to breath even with his oxygen on. I felt very sorry for the patient in the other bed as he had been diagnosed with exactly the same cancers as Warren, he shouldn't have had to hear all of this commotion.The resident Rxd Tylenol and Advil by mouth - may I state here Warren was unconscious and had not taken anything by mouth for 3 days by this point.The resident didn't tell me that to my face he just said he had reworked the meds. When I questioned what he just said he was worried Warren would have a heart attack. I looked at him and said for heavens sake the man is dying what does is matter what he dies of as long as he in out of pain. The kid shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Not 5 min later a nurse charged into the room and said I don't care it is early for the meds Warren needs it NOW. That oncology nurse stood up for what she knew was right and put herself in danger of reprimand in order to give my guy some pain free peace. I will never forget her courage in doing so.
Dianne

(((((((All oncology patients and their families))))))))))

I am hoping our Norm and Barb are being treated with respect and compassion. If I remember correctly they were very pleased with their Oncology team.

Betty every time I hear your story my heart aches - how alone you must have felt with your 2 boys listening to all that double speak. I am so glad that that one intern had to the fortitude and compassion to tell you the truth.

I just was reading back and about the mailing date Mary. I am positive if you all in the US mail by your Thanksgiving everyone will get their parcel on time. Its the Canadian postal system that we have to wonder about.

Norm and I are both treated with love and compassion by his oncology team. They are all absolutely amazing from the lab tech who draws his blood to the Dr to the nurses that infuse him. We have never had a bad incident there over the period of the last four years. After reading of your nightmares, I'm much more aware of how blessed we have been and are.....I'm so sorry to read that you all have not been treated well.....

oh shoot - with everything going on in our lives, I'd forgotten - today is the day to send off our christmas package, right?

So happy that some of you have been blessed with good oncology teams - hugs for all, regardless. My sister is really pleased with her oncologist (she did switch at one point...... because of attitude!).

Just got back from my NEW Dr. He knows that I'm leaving my last one cuz he didn't Listen To Me, and he agrees with me that if I'm fine on my current med dose that we don't need to change it because the "book says to"!! YAY!! he's also sending me for regular tests - blood, mammogram, bone density, etc, and I'm...... okay......... with that (yuck, but needs to be done, right?!?! siiiiiiiigh) LOL
He also doesn't have a tiny waiting room where you're almost sitting in each other's laps, and I can understand what he's saying (no thick accent) which is a real plus for me. I think all patients should be able to understand what their Dr is saying, right? LOL

Susan, I'm glad you like your new doctor. My knee surgeon is a abit of a grouch but he listens and likes having suggestions. When I thanked him for teh good job on my knee he said that I was the one to be congratulated for doing such a good job on recovering.

I worked for a couple of hours today. I'm feeling better all the time. Taking it easy now. The dogs have found a new way under the fence. We'll have to find it tomorrow when Tony is here.

It's been a quiet day with a little progress on the new garden.

hugs, katie

katie - glad your knee is doing better all the time!

This brought SANTA AND SARAH

Three years ago, a little boy and his grandmother came to see Santa at the McAllister Mall in Saint John. The child climbed up on his lap, holding a picture of a little girl.

Who is this?" asked Santa, smiling. "Your friend?

"Yes, Santa,' he replied. "My sister, Sarah, who is very sick," he said sadly.

Santa glanced over at the grandmother who was waiting nearby, and saw her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. "She wanted to come with me to see you, oh, so very much, Santa!" the child exclaimed. "She misses you," he added softly.

Santa tried to be cheerful and encouraged a smile to the boy's face, asking him what he wanted Santa to bring him for Christmas.

When they finished their visit, the Grandmother came over to help the child off his lap, and started to say something to Santa, but halted.

"What is it?" Santa asked warmly.

"Well, I know it's really too much to ask you, Santa, but.." the old woman began, shooing her grandson over to one of Santa's elves to collect the little gift which Santa gave all his young visitors.

"The girl in the photograph... my granddaughter well, you see ... she has leukemia and isn't expected to make it even through the holidays," she said through tear-filled eyes. "Is there any way, Santa, any possible way that you could come see Sarah? That's all she's asked for, for Christmas, is to see Santa."

Santa blinked and swallowed hard and told the woman to leave information with his elves as to where Sarah was, and he would see what he could do. Santa thought of little else the rest of that afternoon. He knew what he had to do. "What if it were MY child lying in that hospital bed, dying," he thought with a sinking heart, "This is the least I can do."

When Santa finished visiting with all the boys and girls that evening, he retrieved from his helper the name of the hospital where Sarah was staying. He asked the assistant location manager how to get to the Hospital.

"Why?" Rick asked, with a puzzled look on his face.

Santa relayed to him the conversation with Sarah's grandmother earlier that day.

"C'mon.....I'll take you there." Rick said softly. Rick drove them to the hospital and came inside with Santa.

They found out which room Sarah was in. A pale Rick said, he would wait out in the hall.

Santa quietly peeked into the room through the half-closed door and saw little Sarah in the bed.

The room was full of what appeared to be her family; there was the Grandmother and the girl's brother he had met earlier that day. A woman whom he guessed was Sarah's mother stood by the bed, gently pushing Sarah's thin hair off her forehead. And another woman who he discovered later was Sarah's aunt, sat in a chair near the bed with a weary sad look on her face. They were talking quietly, and Santa could sense the warmth and closeness of the family, and their love and concern for Sarah.

Taking a deep breath, and forcing a smile on his face, Santa entered the room, bellowing a hearty, "Ho, Ho, Ho!"

"Santa!" shrieked little Sarah, weakly as she tried to escape her bed to run to him IV tubes intact.

Santa rushed to her side and gave her a warm hug.
A child the tender age of his own son -- 9 years old -- gazed up at him with wonder and excitement. Her skin was pale and her short tresses bore telltale bald patches from the effects of chemotherapy. But, all he saw when he looked at her was a pair of, huge blue eyes. His heart melted, and he had to force himself to choke back tears. Though his eyes were riveted upon Sarah's face, he could hear the gasps and quiet sobbing of the women in the room.

As he and Sarah began talking, the family crept quietly to the bedside one by one, squeezing Santa's shoulder or his hand gratefully, whispering "Thank you" as they gazed sincerely at him with shining eyes. Santa and Sarah talked and talked, and she told him excitedly all the toys she wanted for Christmas, assuring him she'd been a very good girl that year.

As their time together dwindled, Santa felt led in his spirit to pray for Sarah, and asked for permission from the girl's mother. She nodded in agreement and the entire family circled around Sarah's bed, holding hands. Santa looked intensely at Sarah and asked her if she believed in angels.

"Oh, yes, Santa... I do!" she exclaimed.

"Well, I'm going to ask angels watch over you." he said. Laying one hand on the child's head, Santa closed his eyes and prayed. He asked that, God touch little Sarah, and heal her body from this disease. He asked that angels minister to her, watch and keep her. And when he finished praying, still with eyes closed, he started singing, softly, "Silent Night, Holy Night....all is calm, all is bright." The family joined in, still holding hands, smiling at Sarah, and crying tears of hope, tears of joy for this moment, as Sarah beamed at them all.

When the song ended, Santa sat on the side of the bed again and held Sarah's frail, small hands in his own. "Now, Sarah," he said authoritatively, "you have a job to do, and that is to concentrate on getting well. I want you to have fun playing with your friends this summer, and I expect to see you at my house at McAllister Mall this time next year!"

He knew it was risky proclaiming that to this little girl who had terminal cancer, but he "had" to. He had to give her the greatest gift he could -- not dolls or games or toys -- but the gift of HOPE.

"Yes, Santa!" Sarah exclaimed, her eyes bright.
He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead and left the room.

Out in the hall, the minute Santa's eyes met Rick's, a look passed between them and they wept unashamed.

Sarah's mother and grandmother slipped out of the room quickly and rushed to Santa's side to thank him.
"My only child is the same age as Sarah," he explained quietly. "This is the least I could do." They nodded with understanding and hugged him.

One year later, Santa was again back on the set in Saint John for his six-week, seasonal job which he so loves to do. Several weeks went by and then one day a child came up to sit on his lap.

"Hi, Santa! Remember me?!"

"Of course, I do," Santa proclaimed (as he always does), smiling down at her. After all, the secret to being a "good" Santa is to always make each child feel as if they are the "only" child in the world at that moment.

"You came to see me in the hospital last year!"

Santa's jaw dropped. Tears immediately sprang in his eyes, and he grabbed this little miracle and held her to his chest. "Sarah!" he exclaimed. He scarcely recognized her, for her hair was long and silky and her cheeks were rosy -- much different from the little girl he had visited just a year before. He looked over and saw Sarah's mother and grandmother in the sidelines smiling and waving and wiping their eyes.

That was the best Christmas ever for Santa Claus.

He had witnessed --and been blessed to be instrumental in bringing about -- this miracle of hope. This precious little child was healed. Cancer-free. Alive and well. He silently looked up to Heaven and humbly whispered, "Thank you, Father. 'Tis a very, Merry Christmas!

So Thanks Susan (Blinded with tears) .... LOL no a good little cry... what a precious story !

Thank you !

Thanks Diane for the mail info...it is interesting to hear the stories of good and bad with the Dr.s and staff... from Betty and Dianne, Barb, Katie, Susan, Deb...... Mom always raised me to have such respect for those in the Medical and Teaching profession... I think it was hard for me to realize when I've been treated unfairly or to stand up for myself... (well I don't do that anyway).

Mom was a Psychiatric Nurse with 3 college degrees, Nursing, Psych and MS in Psych. I remember sitting up with her in the hospital in Gulf Breeze and over heard the nurses talking amongst themselves and realized they were talking about Mom. One said "She listed herself as DNR" and the other said "I don't blame her". I got the courage (unlike me) to go outside the room. I asked the one nurse... "What does DNR mean?"
"Do Not Rescessitate" (Sorry I spelled that wrong - too lazy to look it up)

Marion - do you mean Shands in Gainesville? My Grandpa was there...he may have passed away there...
Jean I always learn so much from you... thanks for the explanation of our politics. I tried to look up every issue and read as much as possible. I should have just asked you :)
Betty - those were horrible times for you.... I know the holidays can be difficult....

Maybe that is why we all enjoy our little swap so much.... (Thanks and Hugs Dianne and Santa Warren)

Will try to pop back on in a bit...

Mary

Mary, yes Shands in Gainesville. We were fortunate to get the head of the oncology department for Ross' doctor. He was excellent and didn't have very many kind words regarding the Urologist who discovered the problem. Told us up front, had they biopsied when his PDA first started rising......things might be different now. Oh well who knows for sure. Just very happy the last year he had the care he did.

Wow Marion - so interesting how all our paths manage to cross each others.... I feel I have a special bond with each of you in some way.... I think Dad was being seen at Shands too for his heart valve problem.... Will have to verify that...

HUGS
Mary

There are so many blessed stories that need to be told of God's blessings.

Isn't it wonderful how we find ourselves so connected, and close to each other? I love to hear how those on the east side of the US find you're closer, in miles, than you'd previously thought and able to meet each other often!

Morning all, 27 here. Brrr but that is ok, think of those on east coast and realize how blessed we are..

I'm so glad Barb that Norm is treated with respect..half the battle.
I remember a couple of nurses answering the phone with 'shut down unit' I like you Mary in my daze asked what that meant..should have realized!

I have to say Roger did get wonderful care, it is just a few that I think are either in the wrong field or over worked or just out of compassion..

Aunt Muriel came over at 6:30 for me to show her how to do placement of a rag quilt (design) and how to sew it together..at 10 the quilt was finished and she went home just a beaming.

Susan, we changed the date for posting some time ago,mshould be on upper post..

Well, much to do this morning , better get a move on

Woke up to about an inch of snow on the ground here. Just enough to make driving bad. It makes the roads very slick and as it is the first snow of year, people have to get their mind set for snow driving. I expect there will be few fender benders today. Good day to stay inside and sew. I'm teaching Norm's sister how to make a table runner today. Yesterday she did two pillow covers and did just fine. I think she just needs a bit of guidance.

Morning everyone! They were showing the snow storm on the news this morning. Not something the east coast needed right now!
Glad to hear your teaching your SIL how to sew!

Quote from Dianne's post. "I just was reading back and about the mailing date Mary. I am positive if you all in the US mail by your Thanksgiving everyone will get their parcel on time. Its the Canadian postal system that we have to wonder about."

Glad to see you posting Dianne, hope your doing well? Are you all done with the dentist?

This message was edited Nov 8, 2012 7:53 AM

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1285105/
Christmas stocking swap, come and check it out!

No snow here, infact if they are not weather liars we will have double digit weather for the next 3 or 4 days..should really have been home doing yard duty while nice temps last but no can cancel out on those crazy ladies for our 3rd Annual Christmas Shopping Trip to USA.

On the top I mentioned that end of month should be ok re pressies...I'm hoping to pick up the last of what I need/want to fill the box then ready to ship out!

Just getting back into the grind, these deaths bring back memories and gets you all worked up again..hoping by tomorrow when we leave on the trip we'll have plenty of laughs..got to know we will, those girls are shop till you drop kind of girls AND when tired, get out of hand..I will have to be their 'mother' and keep them in line.

You are coming over this weekend? Definitely supposed to be a nice one...talking 60's over here. I hope Susan is able to come and her husband is doing
better.

Yes, leaving here at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon, would have gotten off earlier but Linda who works for the judicial system can't get off until then, shortage of staff. We'll take the 407 and likely be at border 6:30 ..will get us across and registered, have supper and still have an hour or so to shop. I've got Khol's gift certificates that need to be used up by Friday so we'll head there..might buy the girls each a set of gold earings with them.

Suzanne is on a puffer, every once in awhile she starts hacking..as for Lenny he should be back tomorrow afternoon and will rest all weekend with Suzanne gone.

They've just put up all the decorations in the mall, lights / trees up, don't imagine christmas music will start before Santa arrives on the 16th.

Don't like the fact Christmas decorations are up before our Remembrance Day on Sunday..in poor taste I think.

Betty - Why is Suzanne on a puffer? Have they diagnosed her with something? (also - what does "Shut Down Unit" mean?)

(HUGS)
Mary

Mary - I think it means when the human system starts to "shut down" ........ sorta like a hospice unit.....

Awe That is so sad.....

That is sad, never heard it called that before. I think called Palliative care here...where no hope but to make them comfortable and pain free.

Been busy. DH is on call this weekend, so going to find something to do. Might head to Rochester in the morning....still have two gift certificates from my birthday in July I haven't used. Some big sales going on too.

Tomorrow it is supposed to warm up, over 50....fingers and toes crossed it does!! They say 60's for weekend with a bit of rain but nothing overwhelming

AND Tomorrow is Friday!!!

Betty, you and the ladies travel safe.

Waving good night to everyone....
Debbie

Debbie, are you meeting Betty?

Gammill is having a contest, if they like the name you chose for their new "sit down" machine, you win it. Just like them on facebook, and enter a name for the machine.

https://www.facebook.com/gammillquilting/app_190322544333196