Best/Worse/What did I learn today? Chat with friends

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1st Annual 'Christmas Friendship Gift Exchange' in Memory of Santa Warren

We were all thrilled last year when Dianne and Santa Warren brought up having a Gift Exchange amongst we friends, often thought of more as family.

"I guess we should decided on an upper limit cost wise, I would hate to see anyone withdraw because they were afraid the couldn't keep up with the Joneses (old Welsh expression). So I guess we should consider a guide for the cost factor, it doesn't have to be hand made"

No amount will be set.. gifts either handmade or bought will be within each others budget !!!

Deadline to participate is October 15th

names given on the 16th

mailing by November 10th as to be ahead of the Christmas rush

Thank you Dianne for hosting this Christmas Exchange and we will look forward to our names..


Participants (all are welcome - even lurkers)

Dianne
Betty
LindaKay
Barb
Judy
Debbie
Crissy
Mary
Thunder
Joyce





This message was edited Oct 6, 2012 12:00 PM

Will do LindaKay.

She said she would call me tonight once she settles her mom in.

I had posted as you changed the thread...
Oh Betty how sad for Darlene. I'm just glad it was so quick that he did not suffer. Please tell her that both Norm and I send our depest sympathies to her and her family. We will conntinue our prayers for her.

Thanks Barb, she'll need all the prayers and support she can get. For it to have happened same as Mike is unbelievable..her mom hasn't been at all well this past year..always thought it would be her going first. Lord has other plans does'nt he.

Cancelled my quilting class tonight..no sense my going

Barb how is Norm doing?goes without saying prayers being said for both of you!

Norm is doing well. He worked today for about 6 hours and I was surprised he lasted that long. I guess I wasn't too informative regarding his surgery. The surgeon said the lesion was the size of a child's marble and that she was able to burn away about 50% of it. He will be coughing for a while getting rid of the debrie. She also said she saw a small nodule forming as well but that she didn't do anything to it yet. We meet with the surgeon and the oncology team on Wednesday to see what plan of attack we will use. We were told that there are several new chemo treatments that are working well with shrinking these types of tumors. We will know more then. She did tell us that another laser broncoscopy is in the future. So we go on from here. Needless to say that we are so grateful for all the prayers.

Bedtty, I meant to ask if you have been able to talk with Cathy? How is she doing?
Edited because I can't spell today...

This message was edited Oct 1, 2012 4:12 PM

So sorry to hear about your friend Betty. Saying prayers for the family.

Betty - sorry to hear of Darlene's loss of her BIL, Art. It will be doubly hard for her - what a year..........
I will have her, and her sister in my prayers.

I think it was Darlene's dad but I could be wrong.

Marion - I'm sure she said Darlene's Sister/BIL, Art.

No, it is Darlene's Father. That is why she is getting her Mom settled in.

Betty said " ..Darlene just called, they've rushed her dad her to Barrie, just had a brain anerysm (?) and not expected to make it..on my wayto hospital"

Then she posted her BIL & Sister had just made it to the hospital...so that was the confusion.

Lots of hugs and prayers for Darlene.

This message was edited Oct 1, 2012 5:47 PM

If I did then it was because I was upset..was Darlene's dad!

Home, was gong to have hot bath and Jammie's but think I shall wait just incase Darlene needs me tonight.

Barb,there are miracles out there and I'm sure there is one with Norm's name in it.was indeed some good news that was received, just a matter of getting more..

Thanks Debbie..Darlene was struggling with Mike's death, being all on her own and no children it is difficult..her parents live across the drive from her on the bay..one daughter lives in Barrie, the other works in Toronto for the gmt.and is always flying somewhere for them but has a cottage about 6 miles or so from them.its just soooo sudden.

Barb, no signs of Cathy..spoke at length with her parents, sad to say, she knows where I live!

My heart so aches for Darlene tonight. Sending her positive, soothing thoughts and prayers.

Betty and Darlene, My prayers are with you... I am so sorry for the loss of friend and father.

Big hugs and prayers for Darlene.

I think I might have just gotten stung by a scorpion. Our water came on about an hour ago and I've been frantically gathering up all the laundry from the places it was put under cover during the rain. Looks like a scorpion got into one of the baskets and bit the little finer of my left hand while I was working. It stings but not too bad.

I've taken it fairly easy again today and my knee is doing much better.

hugs, katie

betty prayers are with you for darlene

((((((((((Betty / Darlene))))))))))))))
oh, to lose your husband and then your father, in such short order. I feel for her.......... and pray for her.

Katie, are you allergic to the scorpion stings? I agree, they hurt like the dickens!

Just getting ready to call it a night. Darlene is at her mothers, she is not sure if she will spend the night or not, all depends what her mom wants. She appreciates your prayers and concerns.

You just never know, Art had a regular scheduled appointment at the doctors, Mae decided not to go into town with him,she has health issues..they joked about him treating himself to fish/chips and not bringing home some for her.

At the doctors office it got extremely I'll, rushed him to Midland hospital, they in turn got him to Barrie where he passed on.

Darlene spoke in such an unemotional tone, know she hasn't had time to process it all.

She will call me in the morning....

Katie, keep an eye'ing that bite..Lordy, I always tout thatbwasbthe end if you got bitten by one but thanks to you all I'm not panicking, know you know what to do..

Most scorpions are not that poisonous. If one is allergic to bee stings, you may have a reaction to them, but most are not poisonous. Now some of the scorpions that are black can do a lot of damage. Those are in places like Arizona or India.
Try to get some sleep Betty!

I'm so sorry Betty (HUGS) Prayers for you and Darlene and family....

Sorry no posts. Had no idea how stressful last weekend would be seeing DSD's..... DSD1 came home with us and I am just floored by how horrible she can be.....

HUGS
Mary

Betty - that was sure sudden for Art......... Guess they thought he was well enough for transport to another hospital?
I can imagine, especially because it was so sudden, that it will take awhile for both Darlene and her mother to process this change in their lives without him.........

Mary - glad your home, but nasty that DSD1 is being so horrible. Sending a hug "across the miles" in support for you.

Thank you Susan... ! RE: your spell... I agree might be a good idea to see a DR just to get a baseline... (HUGS)

Katie - that's your second scorpion this year isn't it? Please try to stay safe you don't need any other issues when recovering...

Oh Debbie Oh Debbie.... Glad you and Paul got a little time to yourselves... but what a huge task to get the CHILD back in the house and her issues taken care of... (HUGS)

Betty (HUGS) On the loss of your friend.... You had mentioned him before...

I'm still reeling from the weekend. DSD1 goes back tomorrow THANK GOD ! The Girls BIO mother as I've mentioned and you all know... has many Mental issues. Illustration of that is how DH got custody of them when they were 8 and 9 and we married.

I thought when I married him 10 years ago that I could HELP. Got them in counselling, put them on my insurance. Tried to have a steady home for them, got them involved in various things... dance, piano, cheer, horses, etc It doesn't seem to have helped. They have SO many issues...

I feel like I've given up and that makes me feel like I've lost.

They are disrespectful, not appreciative... self centered....obnoxious don't respect me at all...

Don't know what to do. It's really too late to expect any change. DSon... had a heart to heart with him... need him to step up and start doing things right... study... etc.

Hugs
Mary

Susan, were you able to go to the doctor....that really is scary and should get checked. Do not delay it. As with Darlene's father....you just never know what is wrong and shouldn't ignore the signs.

Well, The Child is officially home....and zonked out on the couch. She is beyond exhausted...as am I.

Going to bed
Sweet dream

sending hugs and prayers .....

Mary and Debbie, sorry to hear you have so much stress! Sending you both ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Morning everyone! Coffee is ready, with fresh hot orange rolls!

Thanks for the coffee LindaKay, just what I needed!

Darlene called me at 6am and we gabbed for some time, put me behind.
No headache this morning but pressure/pain behind the neck..if stress hits me it's always the neck..drats..little potatoes though compared to what all are going through.

Mary sorry to hear about the girls, you have indeed tried everything..they've relapsed, they were doing so good and now this. Time for hard love..no treats, no helping. Let them see what it is like without your loving arms. Sure hope Lance is seeing how you are treated and speaks with them.

Debbie, there are no words..you have been through so much, you must ask yourself where does it end? Know we are here for you.

Susan, let us know what the doc says..

Mary, I agree with Betty; it's time to "Let go and let God." You haven't failed. The may come to appreciate you but you can't make them do it. It reminds me of one of the most difficult children I ever worked with. I knew there were problems with her guardian but she refused to talk to me. I went to extreem efforts to see that she graduated from high school when it would have been easy to let her go. No thanks ever. She called me several years later to ask for help in getting a copy of her birth certificate. The state she was from had sent her a ten page form to fill out and she was lost. I think it was God working because I said I'd help if I could and she came to my office. She was beautiful. And a college student. And polite. And grateful. When I asked about her former guardian she was surprised that I'd guessed that the woman had drug problems. She said, "Why didn't you say anything?" I just looked at her and said, "Kim, do you remember all those visits when I begged you to talk to me?" She did. It was a great moment for both of us as she realized that she had had someone there for her. I think she already understood that; that's why she called me for help. But it was amazing to see her "wake up" and affirming for me in light of the effort I had taken with her. I think her visit and talking about my visits to her helped to to stop thinking that no one had been there for her. She just chose to handle things in the best way she could and refused to talk to me. But when I saw her she was beautiful, polite, a college student and had an equally clean-looking boyfriend.

Don't give up on them or yourself; just back off and trust that what you've done for them might sink in someday. Meanwhile, get on with your own life.

Yesterday was bug day here. After the scorpion sting (now but a memory) I walked into my bedroom last night and there was a tarrantula walking across the floo. It's about the third one I've seen in ten years here. I got it to walk onto my broom and carried it outside. It was gone this morning. The first couple time I saw one they freaked me out but one of the gifts from Steve (the snake handler from Australia who died from a sting ray sting) was seeing him handling a tarrantura and talking about how non-aggressive they are. I just don't like them in my bedroom where it was probably sharing space with the scorpion I saw the other day.

We had water for several hours yesterday and I was able to get about six loads of laundry done. About half of it still needs to be hung bup but Tony helps with that, especially cause it's hard on my still-sore right shoulder.

My knee is much better which means I need to get back to working on it. Thanks for helping me to wake up and back off until it got better.

hugs, katie

I agree also Betty - Let Go and Let GOD
Katie - good that you had water, even if only for a short time, and that you have Tony (bless him, Lord!!)

3 more hours until I see the Dr., and yes, I will let you all know of his findings/thoughts

Katie, those scorpions and tarantulas are probably coming inside, due to all your rain you have had! Looking for a safe place!

Susan, glad you are going....you will feel much better just having been checked out and peace of mind.

Katie, very wise words of wisdom. I have done the same with the many kids coming and going here, and now someone is doing that for my "lost" son. I know
he will find his way back one day.

Mary you know I am here if you need to talk....there is a phase they go through, at age 16 to about 23....where they are exactly as you said. They know everything, they want to be independent but aren't. AND we can do nothing to tell them otherwise. Just remember, many many many doctors, psychologist and scientist have proven the "adult mind" doesn't mature....until age 25. It is still developing and grasping life until then. I think that is what makes it so hard for us. Just this morning I have already had a run in with "the child" and the face she is living here now and I have to deal with this again is just killing me. Yes, I stood up to her, read her the "way its going to be" and ...it does nothing. I do find....if you keep your voice low...and steady....no screaming...they listen more.

Raining and nasty here.....stay dry!

Debbie

raining here too!!! Yippee :) that means I get to sew, instead of doing yard work :)

What great words of wisdom from both you Katie and Debbie..I can only hope that in my past position of Recreation CoOrdinator I've been able to help one or two as well..you can only hope that someone is out there offering a helping hand, pointing out to the correct road to travel..I've so enjoyed your posts this morning.

Katie, you say your knee is better today, hmm that is because you did some resting..you need more of that today

Must be your day off Thunder..what are you sewing?

yup, day off :) going to finish up a few small wall hangings. sunflower, and witch. may also work on dresden plate ;; big round for my sister.

and if I can find a piece of wood.....I am going to make a little sign.

Now that is ambitious..let's see how many you get to finish.

Had my week planned but it's now gone to pot..tonight I'm off to Darlene's so not likely feel like sewing when I get home.

I just went over to Fabricland, last day of sale and bought few meters of xmas fabric, batting I need for all the runners, some thread hoping it will keep me busy all weekend.

Having Thanksgiving on Sunday rather than Saturday as I originally thought..Greg just called to remind me that he, Melanie and the boys are helping serve thanksgiving dinner at the church on Saturday night sooo Sunday it is.

Hello All.

Mary, Debbie is right in that you are dealing with developing minds and that can be a trial in the best of situations. Unfortunately, the one who needs to step up is Lance. He is their legal guardian. It is up to him to set standards of behaviour for them, and then enforce them. as long as he tolerates their bad manners toward you, there is ZERO reason for them to change.
We took custody of our Grandson when he was 21 months old. As he got older (10 or so) he developed an attitude of "You are not my Mama. My mama says I don't have to listen to you". My response, "No, I am not your Mother, but I am the adult in charge and responsible for you and your behaviour. I love you, but understand this, it is your choice to love me or not, but no matter you will treat me with courtesy and respect. If not, you will be penalized. As for your mother saying you do not have to listen....well, we decide where you go and who you see and when and if her influence is to foster bad behaviour in you, then you will no longer see her anywhere but here. The only thing you have to do is obey what we tell you and mind your manners and you will have a relatively happy childhood."

I then called his mother and informed her that if she chose to keep undermining our authority, I would simply petition the court to revoke her visitation privileges as she had relinquished all of her parental rights voluntarily and visiting was all she had. She started cussing and I hung up. I then informed my son, Jordan's dad, of the situation and how it would be handled...he started making excuses for her, at which point i told him I wasn't interested in excuses and the situation would be handled as DH and I saw fit.

I am proud to say, that my Grandson graduated cum laude from his high school with a full tuition scholarship, is in college and has a job, but more than anything, he tells both DH and I how much he loves us and respects what we did for him and how happy he is that we raised him. he has little to no contact with his mother by his own choice.

Lance has got to step up on your behalf Mary, and should have made that step 10 years ago. You have gone above and beyond trying to mother two girls you did not plan on raising. I am so sorry for the grief they have caused you, but ultimately, you do not have to put up with it.