Springtime Gypsies

Redirction is want my DIL and her parents believe in, but there is no follow up. If the redirection does not work than what?

No method of parenting is going to be successful when the children are in control. I love my children and my grandson, but I have no desire to be their best friend. Kids make and break friendships throughout their lives...what they need is a firm, consistent voice of reason that sets boundaries and consequences for bad actions. A firm NO, some time in the corner or loss of privileges and if required a sound swat on a little one's bottom are all very necessary to help our little heathens become productive, balanced humans....grin

I read a report that said spanking children leads to violent children. I was spank as a child and I spanked my son. I am not violent but would defend myself if necessary and my son is one of the most laid back people I know. He prefers to take the easy way and walk around trouble.

Hi everyone,

oh goodness, raising children is tough, especially these days. But got to agree about an everynow and again spanking.
As far as the report, I have to think about that. There are spankings and there are beatings, which i don't think any child deserves a beating.
Raising my kids, i gave them two choices and the punishment for wrong doings consisted of grounds and other privlidges removed.
I really think a child shouldn't have to to be reminded with spankings once they start going to school.
anyway, that's just take on spankings.
Thanks for allowing me to say.

i hope you are all well. i was so happy you came to see my trip photo's. Thanks for coming and enjoying my narration! I sure do like to tell a story, lol as all know...
See you in a bit, lots of yard to work to tackle.

By the time a child is 5 or 6 years old, they are capable of understanding right and wrong and also understand deprivation....loss of freedoms, possessions and privileges. I believe that at that age a swat on the bottom is of little or no value. Also, a parent should have a pretty good handle on controlling their children's behaviour by that time....if not, then it is the parent who needs guidance.


Hey Ya Seed...we have been delighting in your adventures in italy. Thanks so much for sharing them.

According to Dr. James Dobson, If you don't have a child under control by age two you are in trouble. If not by five, his character is formed. After driving a school bus for 28 years, I have to agree with him. The Bible says, "He who spares the rod, hateth his child."

Think that passage is spare the rod and "spoil the child" Jim. I agree with spankings but not beatings. I knew when spankings didn't work when they quit crying when they got one, so had to go to other measures, think this hit about 10 years of age for mine.

On another note, my daughter's 17 year old friend keeps losing her driving privileges. That's what her mother does to ground her, takes away the car. Apparently the girl doesn't care, because she keeps doing whatever and keeps getting grounded from the car. Hello ?!? Anyone home? This obviously is having no effect.

Take away the car and the lisense and the phone, see how that sets with her>

Don't forget the laptop....the girl will languish without her facebook friends.

That's what I would do. At least the phone & computer. If the loss of car privileges doesn't work, maybe that would.

ya gotta hit them where it hurts (no not literally) if the kid can jump in someone else's car AND save money on gas (oooh more lipstick money) it's win win for her isn't it? How about no cell phone, no computer, no going out? Does this kid have a job? I was working at 14. Teenagers need to have jobs.

You go Lynnie, thats what I'm talkin bout!

Look up the scripture flowers, everyone misquotes it, my quotation is correct.

Jim there's a farmer here who also drives a school bus, has been for over 30 years. He's a great guy, old school, kids misbehave on his bus only once. Parents today seem to think kids can raise themselves.There's a serious lack of discipline and teaching going on out there. Kids are being raised like dogs, actually, let them lay around, give them treats and rub their heads once in a while!

Had a bus driver here that would slam on his breaks and causing face bruising to kids when they hit their faces on the seats in front of them. He would do it to get them to behave. Parents didn't take to kindly to that, and think he got fired after 20 or more years of driving.

I met a lady in Calif that joined a Tough Love group due to her out of control 17 year old. The other tough love parents showed up at the house and confronted the young lady and got her to sign a contract. Mother was told not to be there. Anyway the contract listed all expected behavior, go to school, do homework, get good grades, all asignments handed in on time, keep room clean, help clean house, do dishes, etc. There were consequences listed for each breach of conduct. By the end of the first month the young lady was sleeping on a mattress on the floor with one set of sheets, 1 pillow, she also only had 1 change of cloths and underthings. In the kitchen was 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 spoon, 1 fork, 1 butter knife. All food in the house was canned soup, stews and frozen dinners in the freezer. Every evening mother would go over to another Tough Love parents home for a nice sit down dinner. It took a few months, but slowly the girl came around. When I met the mother, her daughter was 23 years old, went to college full time and had a part time job. She would start dinner for herself and mom if she got home before mom did, helped to keep the house, laundry and kitchen cleaned up. Her mother and her had become friends. I did get to meet the young lady and she talked at a group meeting about what happened and how sorry she was that she had forced her mother to go thru it all and how proud she was of her mother for sticking to her guns and using tough love to make her see the right way. She said she planned on using the same method on her own kids right from the start so that she would not have the problems she had caused her mom.

I don't know what my mother did, but she worked 2 jobs and never came home to a dirty house. I cleaned, did laundry and everything but cook. (I didn't know how) I didn't really think about it, all I knew was that she didn't have time to do it, so I did.

We started cleaning when we were 3 or 4 years old. By the time I was 13 there wasn't a chore in the house that i didn't know how to do. By the time I was 14, all the meals and laundry and ironing were mine. When my kids left home, they all knew how to do laundry, how to cook and the basics of housekeeping....because they needed those skills in the real world.

When I started driving a bus, some of the kids had gone to school with me. One girl was a senior and literally hated me because I wouldn't let her get by with stuff. She married and when her kids got old enough to go to school, guess whose bus they road. She was tickled to death because she knew I would take care of her babies. She had one daughter who was a hand full, she hated me with a passion. She married and when her babies came along, there old Jim was still driving. She was so glad because she knew her kids were safe. When I retired and the word got out, her dad came to my house and thanked me for taking care of his children and grandchildren when they were on my bus. Said he never worried when they were in my care. More bus driver stories at a drop of the had.

my DD misbehaved once on the bus in kindergarten (gasp! I know, I was shocked too!) I made her write a letter of apology to the old farmer busdriver and hand it to him. She never misbehaved again. She was so ahamed it took her two days to hand it to him. I wish I had taken a picture of it, it was so sweet.

I remember once as a yound kid, I let some other kids lead me into stealing a penny candy at the local little corner store. When my dad found out he drove me to the store, took me in and made me tell the owner what I had done. The owner was surprised and said that he was glad that I had come forward. My dad told him that it was his decision as to my punishment. That took the owner back and he said he didn't know what to say. My dad asked if he could make a suggestion. I remember I stood there so embrassed that they were discussing this in front of everyone. When the store owner said he would appreciate some help, my dad suggested that everyday after school I was to come to the store and sweep the sidewalk from the corner to the end of the store building and along side the building on the side street for 1 week. The store owner agreed and I spent the next week sweeping that sidewalk. I never stole again!! And if I was with kids that were stealing I would go and stand next to the store owner so that he knew I was not stealing. When the week was over, my dad took me aside and said how proud he was that I had accepted my punishment willingly and had down a good job every day of sweeping.

he sounds like a good dad, Marti! My DD got a little punishment at home, too, lost some privileges for the day.

My dad was a good guy. He believed in treating everyone the way he wanted to be treated and he never understood how someone could hate someone else because of the color of their skin. He said that was like hating someone cause their eyes were blue or green or brown, a different color than yours.

Jim, give me that passage, I can't find it. I'm sure you are right should have known not to question a preacher :-)

I hear ya Marti!
Flowers we gotta question everybody.....Jim can stand up to the scrutiny!

Proverbs 13:24 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+13%3A24&version=KJV

It is only in the newer revised editions that the wording is changed

Bless pat if Moon doesn't have a web site for everything. The rod it is speaking of would be similar to a slender dowel, not something that would bruise or maim. Momma switch was the thing.

I have warned you all before Jim, I am a well-spring of information....a lot of it useless...LOL. Yup, a peach tree switch comes to mind....grin (for my brothers of course....LOL)

Your right, my old big King James Version reads proverbs 13 verse 24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes" Thanks for setting me back on track Jim. I know some people read a different Bible, but I for one only stick with the King James version. I do have a Student version of it, but am a little skeptical when they change a word here and there to help you understand. One word can change the whole meaning sometimes.

I once heard a man say that you can read the new versions and allow them to pull your intellect down or you can read the King James Version and allow it to pull your intellect up. I think he was right. Some of these new versions leave out whole passages of scripture. The Revised Standard is one of the worst to do that.

Hope everyone had a Happy Mothers Day, and Jim I'm sure you spoiled your Jo a little, she deserved it!

She claims that I am the spoiled one. What can I say, a menepause baby with four older sisters, and adorable to boot.

Spreading it a little thick there,eh Jim? Grin

LOL you guys are funny!

He who toots not his own horn gets it not tooted.

which scripture is that Jim? *grin*

Thats from Jim's almanac of funny stories Lynnie. We love ya Preacher Jim, keep em coming! Want to see pictures of those raised bed gardens, bet they are plum perty about now.

That was a jewel from my dad. Mom's reply was, "He who tooteth his horn to much soon runneth battery down."

I made some photos of the garder yesterday. As soon as I upload them, I'll send a couple. My tomatoes are really beautiful. They have clusters with from four to ten tomatoes to the cluster. I have some tomatoes as big as a tennis ball. Jo's cherry tomatoes are loaded down with tomatoes big as a plum. They should start getting ripe by next week. I have a few baby squash about an inch long. Been eating swiss chard, lettuce, radishs and carrots. Cabbage are nearly big enough to cut and grappled a mess of new potatoes today.

Do ;you make sauerkraut with the cabbage? Love that stuff with fried weenies. Gonna put a few potato eyes in the ground as soon as it warms up again. Don't you just love it?? Kids planted cantaloupe, but think DIL planted seeds about half ft deep, she is a city girl :-) Might get melons by June next year lol