Best/Worse/What did I learn today-visit with friends #119

OMG Barb (and all) sharon just e-mailed to say she has a room in Beford PA..researched the area and there is an 'old bedford' with so much going on this weekend..hope to make it to some...

This is what is scheduled: (I just love historic towns)

CONFEDERATION OF UNION GENERALS WEEKEND
Shake hands with famous Generals from the Union who shaped the outcome of the Civil War. With programs throughout the weekend, these living historians will guide you through the lives of the Generals they represent. Children's programs throughout the day.

Smiles







A young guy from Wisconsin moved to
Florida and went to a big everything-
under-one-roof department
store looking for a job.

The Manager said, 'Do you have any
sales experience?'

The kid said 'Yeah. I was a salesman
back in Wisconsin .'

Well, the boss liked the kid and
gave him the job.

'You start tomorrow. I'll come down
after we close and see how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough,
but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the
boss came down.

'How many customers bought something
from you today?'

The kid said,
'One.'

The boss said, 'Just one? Our sales
people average 20 to 30 customers a
day. How much was the sale for?'

The kid said, '$101,237.65.!

The boss said, '$101,237.65? What
the heck did you sell?'

The kid said, 'First, I sold him a
small fish hook. Then I sold him a
medium fishhook. Then I sold him a
larger fishhook. Then I sold him a
new fishing rod. Then I asked him
where he was going fishing, and he
said down the coast, so I
told him he was going to need a
boat, so we went down to the boat
department, and I sold him a twin
engine Chris Craft. Then he said he
didn't think his Honda Civic
would pull it, so I took him down to
the automotive department and sold
him that 4x4 Expedition.'

The boss said 'A guy came in here to
buy a fish hook and you sold
him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The kid said 'No, the guy came in
here to buy Tampons for his wife, and
I said,

'Dude, your weekend's shot, you
should go fishing!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Subject: Sea Story

There's an old sea story
in the Navy about a ship's Captain who inspected His sailors,
and afterward told the Chief Boson that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested
perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear
occasionally. The Chief responded, "Aye, aye sir,I'll see to it
immediately! The Chief went straight to the sailors berth deck
and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and

wants you to change your underwear. Pittman, you change with
Jones, McCarthy, you change with Kwiatkowski, and Brown you
change with Schultz. Now get to it!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish."

so laughing 'Tubby' thanks for the visit..sending prayers

Smile



A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS,
AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET.
SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID

FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT

SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.

THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO ,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT

AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT

THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO

SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY,

AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE

AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE

SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL

HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.

THE BLONDE REPLIES,

"I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO TORONTO ,

AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE".

THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING

WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE

WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE?

I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED

TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE".


HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND

WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS,

"OH, I'M SORRY," AND GETS UP AND GOES

BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT

ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID

TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.

"I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO ".

Betty prayers for all those who have suffered damage in your area...
We are cloudy and gray today...had just a spot of rain last night...

Tubby, I am still laughing!!!

Need to spend the afternoon helping mom get ready for tomorrows garage sale.....Grrrr...she needs to stop doing this!!! And of course the weather is going to be cool and cloudy on top of it all.......it is supposed to be warm on garage sale days!!!

Guess I have put it off as long as I can....talk to everyone later.

Tubby - keep 'em coming!
I love jokes, and yours are very welcome! Nice way to go into the weekend - with a laugh! lol

~Susan~

Smile Of course # 5 is my favorite

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice...loved it both times!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)


3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud..
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.



6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.

7.. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it..
If it is unstable, improve it..
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend.



11. Forgive now those who made you cry.. You might not get a second chance.

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.


Remember! Lost time can never be found...

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

#11 is wonderful, and sooooooo true!!
I'm with you - love #5!! ^_^

Hello everyone! Sorry I have been missing but my son was in an accident.
Andy was at a batchelor party tuesday night. Most of the guys were drinking, so the batchelor assigned two guys to be the sober safe drivers, to get everyone home. About 2:00am, they all started leaving, and Andy got a ride with his sober friend. They accidently pulled into the neighbors yard, and Andy said this is close enough. I need to get out of the truck, cause he was going to get sick to his stomach. So he got out of the truck, stumbled and fell, and hit his head on a mailbox. The sober guy, then proceeded to back up, and caught Andy's feet, and pulled him under his truck, and ran over his feet, then up his legs, and lower back, then pulled him 40 feet, before he came to a stop! Not only did it drag, him, it rolled him many times. So he has lots of road rash, and a few stitches, but nothing is broken or damaged, other than deep tissue!
Andy is being released today, so that means he is on the mend!
This could have been so much worse, and yes, I was worried sick! Todd took off work, to go with me to San Antonio, and we took turns going to the hospital. Now we are home, so I am going to take a nap, then get a decent meal ready for dinner!

OMG Linda Kay you just never know do you, taking a ride by a designated driver (non-drinker) was exactly what he should have done and he did! Bet the driver feels just terrible..glad he'll be ok..sure was praying for you all...yep, you go nap and try to relax...poor sweetie, bad enough you are fighting your own health issues and this on top of it...thank goodness Todd was able to be by your side...hugs..wouldn't hurt to add a few more prayers...

Trisha, how is Laura doing? worry about her as well..she such a cutie..tell her she's in my thoughts..does your mom have a lot to go into the garage sale? wish my mom would have one lol..she says she's purging and bringing her items to the church but I don't see any difference when I visit..don't you think we all should leave home and let someone purge for us? does sound a little hot for a garage sale..are you in a good location for one-main stream area?

Tubby, no words are more true than those on your last line:

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Hot and muggy outside, won't do much, picked up some treats for Cathy..

Pulled my vehicle to the back door, needs to be cleaned..managed to get a box, perfect size for shipping the birdhouse so must get that packed, what else...not much happening...maybe some corn to fill the tubby and early night....

So glad you posted Linda Kay..

Now if Debbie and Bev would post with good news my day would be complete....

Judy, what are you up to? Liz, busy/busy

omg LK - and this was the sober driver????
smart of the bachelor to assign sober drivers, but maybe he should have checked their driver's licenses to see if it was Valid!
I imagine that driver is pretty shaken too, though.....

Love,
~Susan~

Linda Kay just came back downstairs to read your post again, hard to believe that Andy is able to walk..Lord was with him for sure...an incident happened in our last year at graduation, one of the young graduates who doesn't drink decided to bring all his friends home safely, which he did, however, only miles from his home was he hit by drunk driver..killed immediately..an only child...

I'm just shaking from what you went through .. can just imagine how frightened you must have been...

Shaking my head...

Heard from Debbie, her doctor has taken her off all her meds and is starting her on two new diuretics that work together. She is supposed to be taking a couple days and do nothing but read and rest. But, she has to get Shannon settled at the same time, so not sure if today was a 'rest' day for her. Lots of responsibilities she feels she has.

She also got her hair cut, but was not very happy with the outcome.
And she said it might be awhile before she was back online, but she sounded OK, and she has at least been to see a doctor.

So that's OK news, and better than nothing, a little progress toward healing anyway.

LK, glad Andy is much better.
Best wishes to Bev, too.

Betty, Sage is a contradiction, she's friends with people of all age, from adult to toddlers.

Shar, thanks for the update...much appreciated..think she should have seen a doctor the minute we got home..was worried about her but she was a trooper, although in pain you'd not have known...hair grows in Debbie, not to worry...

Laura, so glad to see you on-line...Sage sounds so adorable, sure wish I had a grandaughter..would you be willing to share...love my boys to bits but getting too old for some of the things I could pass on...lol..you know, being recreation co-ordinator for the Township all those years came from my love of working with people of all ages, I normally and I say normally get along with all...

Am packed, going to have a bath, get some decorating magazines out to thumb through the pages and see if I can't just relax...something that is not easy for me to do..

Try to get back with my best/worse and what did I learn today before calling it a night...

Well I think we everything set for the sale....we are in a pretty good location just off of a main street.....our street is a dead end with a circle at the end so turn around is easy and there is lots of street parking without disrupting regular traffic....she comes up with an amazing amount of stuff....I am so used to all the decorative stuff she has had everywhere that it is starting to look quite bare at her house.....hard to get used to.....wish it was MY house that all the stuff was going away from.....I am one of those who needs to have someone else come in and get rid of it for me....

After we finished with the sale stuff I gathered up and re-potted a lot of my house plants....until I ran out of potting medium....need to pick up some more while Bill and I are out shopping tonight....means I will probably end up with another plant or two... They were sure getting to be sad little things as they have been somewhat neglected recently. Maybe they will be happier now.

Thanks for the update on Debbie....sure have been worried about her...

Hope you all have a good night.....

Hello everyone!

Well to let you know what's going on with Tubby. We went for labs and the CT Scan of the chest this AM. We then went and seen the Primary Care Dr. and had his INR checked. Tubby's blood had thickened back up to 1.6, so we are on 1/2 tab of Coumadin now. He will get it rechecked Tues. or Wed. next week.

The Oncology Dr. gave us a call and told us that the scan showed 7 nodules in one lung and 5 in the other. They are going to do a guided needle biopsy of them next week to see if they are related to his Myeloma or a different kind of cancer has appeared. We are praying for some good news.

When I got home last night from work Terry's temp. was 102, I couldn't get it down at first and then my brain finally kicked in as we were headed for the ER. I turned around and took him back home and gave him some Tylenol, it started to come down so he took his Tylenol PM's and about 1:30 this AM the fever broke. This evening about supper time the temp. started back up. I gave some Tylenol again, will check it in a little while and see how it's doing. I did tell his PC Dr. about the fever and he said he'd be in the office tomorrow and if it happened again to let him know and he would give us something for it.

Terry's sister and husband are coming out tomorrow and help mow. They are going to bring their rider and we have one so that will help. Thank God for family and friends.

I will have to pick tomatoes, cucumbers, beans squash, and potatoes. I probably will pick the baby corn the next day.

Linda K we were glad to hear your son is okay. That will be a night he will never forget. Some one was watching over him. Bev and Debbie we haven't heard from you for awhile. Hope all is alright and look forward to good news soon. We are thinking of you all and wish the best to everyone. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Bless you!
Tubby & Shirley

Tubby and Shirley we will keep the prayers coming that you get news.

Glad you have family that can help out some...many of us wish we were close enough to help out...but at least our hearts and prayers are with you. Hope you have a good night .
(((((((HUGS)))))))
Trisha

Hi All, checking in quick.

Not feeling the greatest. Chewed out pretty good by the doc yesterday. As Sharon said...new meds, which are sending me running to the bathroom every 5 to 10 minutes. Not much difference in the swelling yet....but takes time.

Tubby & Shirley, you are in my prayers day and night. And so are you dear Bev. I hope your feeling better.

Thanks to you all for your thoughts and prayers. I am going to call it tonight. Moving Shannon to the college first thing in the morning.

Debbie

Prayers to you and Shirley, Tubby...meant to say that earlier, sorry.

Hello To All -

LK - My prayers to you ...what an ordeal...Sad for your son and everyone involved...but I'm glad it is looking good so far...

Deb - finally you are taking care of yourself! You best do what the doc says or you'll have Betty standing with Hand on hip...shaking finger... :)

Hugs to Tubby & Shirley....Thank you for the update...

Betty - are tornado's unusual there?

Trisha - How are the plants....are they making it so far? or do I need to send you more.... :)

Long day tomorrow...will checkin later

(((Hugs)))

Mary

Been a long day today...looks like another tomorrow....have to be at mom's by seven thirty for the sale they will be lined up out front by then....and I am NOT a morning person!

Mary...so far so good....they are looking much better so we will see how it goes!

Hope you all have a good night....sleep well....

Morning...

Shirley you just have no idea how appreciative I am that you've taken time to let us know how Tubby is doing..your schedule is hectic and worried I'm sure and yet you take those few precious moments for us..God Bless both you and Tubby...

Trisha, you'll need an afternoon nap once you've helped with the garage sale..do you do like most and have it morning only..that would make life simpler for you..poor dear you must be exhausted...

Mary, we've had quite a few tornados..sad that it took the life of an 11 year old boy at camp..tragic..what's on your list of to do's this weekend...how is the palm tree doing?

Debbie glad that you are taking note of what the doctor has to say...had I had more time this weekend crossing I'd have dropped by just to check to make sure for myself that you are o.k.

Out the door, have several packages for mailing on USA side, had to make sure I had the addresses..am off..

Not sure if Sharon is bringing her laptop but if she does I'll sign in to check up on you all...

God bless and keep you all safe!

Morning everyone! Betty you have a safe trip!
Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, and prayers! Yes, I believe he had someone by his side watching him!
Debbie, and Beverly, I pray you are doing better as well!
Tubby, we are praying for you and family as well. Thanks for keeping us posted!
Trisha, hope you have a successful yard sale!
Hope everyone has a great week-end.
LK

Yes Betty do have a safe trip. Prayers for you Debbie and Tubby and all that need them. I really got slowed down. Feel like I am doing everything in slow motion. Got to go to town today and get my dizzy pills as the doc calls them. I told him I wasn't dizzy just falling backward and bouncing off the walls and he said just take these dizzy pills ok LOL. Everybody always said that I was a dizzy old nut but this is rediculous. Can't spell. Well all have a nice day. LOVE & HUGS BEV

Good Morning!

Betty have a great trip!

Shirley and Tubby, Continuing the prayers for good results.

Thank you again for keeping us abreast on what's happening with Tubby.
Tubby, thanks for the great smiles and giggles...

Trisha, whew Good luck with the garage sale, LOL bet your glad it will finally be over.

Bev, I hope you are feeling much better and both you and Scotty are able to get in some rest.
Hopefully with this weather break finnds you to be more comfortable.

Debbie, Oh Gosh, safe travels with Shannon, and also keeping you in thoughts and prayers to find/make time to get in your rest.
So glad you got to the doctors.

and Thank you Shar for letting us know about Debbie.

Waiving Hi Mary, Was gigling at the post you made...LOL, also wanted to let you know, I got to sighn the Code of Conduct this AM...too funny.

Linda Kay, I am glad you are home and able take a time to be in your gardens, enjoy those hummers.
just sent you a d-mail...Prayers continue.

Liz, good gosh, I hope your not drowning in the garage, lol...know your busy with crafts for sale and also, garage sale...
Got your novel, lol thanks...Fantastic deal from Craigs list, got to really love that site!

Crissy, Hope you are enjoying your visit with Mom...Didn't see anywehere that you got the extra driving day, so Be careful on the roads.

...Well, had that crazy headache coming and going, yuk...but I think it's finally gone.

Also, have been crazy busy getting ready for school, kids start Thursday. Football practice not only has Jake running but me as well, geesh, shopping for needed gear, running fortgotten lunches, cleats...what ever, lol I never imagined how busy, I'd be with it all...yow I am exhausted. Oh not to mention washing his uniform every single day, But yay thanks to Deborah, I know how to get the darned things white!
Oxy Clean, is the Bomb!!!!

...but we are now prepared, with school supplies, books...clothes, photos..etc,etc..
Then yesterday, relaized i have a wedding today, so ran out to store to get a decent dress and shoes...

So dear friends, I hope you are all enjoying the day
Please do be safe on the roads traveled..

See you when I can.

What did I learn? Well, learned I need to get a better memory LOL
Seed - you're soooooooo good with the posts. I can hardly keep up.
Let's see... LK - fabulous that your son's doing better
Betty - good luck on your trip. It's great that you're able to take things across the border for mailing! ^_^

For anyone I missed - bless you, and take care!

Here's something else I learned - Yahoo mail can get compromised!!
I don't use my Yahoo that much, but I've been looking for a particular email (friend moved into the city, and wanted their new ph# etc) so looked @ it yesterday.
1. I have a "notify" email other than Yahoo, in case there are changes to my account.
2. My other email contacted me to tell me my password had changed and another account (anakonda.hell@yahoo.com) had been added.
3. Just by clicking on the link from Yahoo in my other email verified who I am, and I was able to delete their yahoo and their hotmail account from MY account.
4. I changed my password & secret questions to something very unusual (and strong password).
5. Sent an email to Yahoo asking if there was anything else I could do, and gave them the ID of the person who was "tinkering" with my account.

I've had my Yahoo account for more years than I can count - in the '90's anyway - and I have a lot of history in it.
I wish I could export all my email, but I only have the option to export my address book..........

I was sure glad I had a secondary email for notification!!!

~Susan~

The cat is away - no one to play?

Evening all, sister and her girlfriend that met us are out for something to eat..as Debbie is a Judge in dog show competitions and Sharon trains thought I'd give them time together...besides I want to get up early tomorrow morning and go to Somerset and see the temporary memorial for Flight 93..named Let's role..guess you all know why it's name Let's Roll..few other points of interest I'd like to see...seems I've got a lot of $$$ going back home with me, because Sharon's back is gone and she can't drive she won't let me spend any $$$ so I'm hoping I'll get to at least pick up a few treasures for myself...


Sad though, after all the work I did to get the birdhouse done for mailing and a few other swaps as well, get to the first town a little later than usual 12:13 to be exact..post office closed at 12:00..thinking of giving $$$ to Debbie, she said she'd send them out UPS or FedEx from work Monday..wouldn't you know..

Guess first one in the bath gets the hot water so off I go...

Betty hope you are having a good trip.

Sale today was okay....best part, mom agrees that they are more trouble than they are worth and she doesn't think she will do another one. I asked if I could record that statement to play back if she ever thinks about doing another one!!

Laura and went up to pick up a Net Book for Bill....he has been wanting his own computer since I am on this one all the time. We had looked and figured it was going to cost around $500 to get the one he wanted. Laura talked to them at Best Buy....by the time we got the computer, the service contract and signed up for Sprint Internet to be added to my phone account I figured we were way over budget.....there was a discount for signing up for internet connection when we bought the Net Book....total final bill was $176. We are doing a happy dance here tonight !!

Has been a long day so will talk to you all tomorrow....have a good night and a wonderful Sunday.

Smile


Ramblings of a Retired Mind


I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one.
So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust.'

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'
Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency.'
I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor!'
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.


As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

' Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life.'
Because: 'Life is a journey to be savored.'

Mourning All My DBIL Bob DS Judy..& a close friend of theirs .We also have Known Larry for a long time..Well Larry brought his 60" Hustler mower & Bob on my 42" mower.. They got the yard all mowed.Judy help Shirley pull weeds..All I could do was sit on my BUTT...Don't know a 10$ word for it so I'll say it was it was hard & disgusting to just sit !!
We all went to dinner at this little bar..OMG they have a delicious steak (only one on menu) Shirley call DB & talked them into meeting us there too..We paid..They didn't want that Go figure..

Where would we be without Family & friends..I'm very thankful..

Tubby

morning all,

tuby, so nice for you to have all those terrific folks around you
you'll be up and at em soon take care of yourself.

betty have a good trip

judy, no been sick since thursday with horrible flu finally broke fever last night, today i feel like walking around and getting two days worth of work done omg mil said dont come here we will go there now its 6 days of work in 3 hours ahhhh what to do,
hope you had a nice time at wedding

everyone else hello and have a good day

Tubby, there is no $10 word needed for what you felt that can properly describe that feeling. I have been there and understand. The perfect word you SHOULD use to describe it is LOVE. They all love and care very much about you and Shirley, and you know darn well you would be at each one of their houses if the shoe was on the other foot. I know it hurts you to have to sit and watch...but all of them...and all of us...want you around for a lot longer. So take time to just smell the roses, munch on the fresh picked green beans....and watch your family working together with love on their mind. Sending you and Shirley hugs

Debbie

Smile


Soldier on a Train

The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?"


The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my Little Fifi is using that seat?"

The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.

Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."

The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Ameri-cans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. Imagine!"

The soldier didn't say anything else; he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her and chastise the soldier.

An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.... And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong b---- out the window."

Tubby those are great!! I do love the last one!!!
And Yes, Debbie said it all.....We do love ya, take care.

Liz sorry you have been sick....Laura has been suffering similar symptoms...hope your both are better soon......

Have a good night everyone...

Today I learned that my DM was sick with the "D" for 4 days after she was here, and my DH was, for a couple of days that he didn't tell me about.....(y'know, the "running" kind.........). S'funny that it took so long to appear.
Looks like it wasn't food poisoning after all. I feel sorry for my DM having to go through it.
Glad she didn't get as sick as I did. She wouldn't have been able to take it at her age (90).

~Susan~

Smile


My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e.coli.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.

The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE...and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem, and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.

We must have had horribly damaged psyches. What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses?
Ours wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played 'king of the hill' on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites, and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48-cent bottle of mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked.


Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics, and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.


We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either, because if we did we got our butt spanked there and then we got our butt spanked again when we got home.


I recall Donny Reynolds

from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop, just before he fell off.

Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house.

Instead, she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.




To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family.

How could we possibly have known that?

We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes.

We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!

How did we ever survive?

LOVE TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA. AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED.
I WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!

Pass this to someone and remember that life's most simple pleasures are very often the best

Smile








A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.'



The old rancher says, 'Okay, but do not go in that field over there' as he points out the location.



The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish...on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'



The old rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores..



A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get "horned" before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The old rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....



'Your badge..Show him your badge!'

Tubby - I hope Shirley doesn't mind but I Love You. You brighten my day like nobody else does. Thank you.. Love, Barb