Best/Worse &What did I learnt today/Chat with Friends #99

Moved us over from here.....

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/971943/

Morning, slow moving here, much I want to accomplish today, and yes, it's not rest!

Cathy while sitting with the animals did all the front and side gardens, has a pile of leaves like you wouldn't believe..am hoping wind dies down so I can burn...

Was thinking of going to Barrie to purchase the flooring for the craft room but decided with working there I could just go at lunch hour tomorrow and save myself a trip..

Kyle will e-mail me photo's of our trip and I'll share some..he was my gps navigator and the photographer..kept him busy...

Have my suitcase unpacked, clothes washing, haven't had my first coffee but did squeeze in a bath, now I'll sit and have breakfast and get myself organized and clean the car...

Looks like a beautiful day here, best I enjoy it..take a few goodies from under the back deck out..I see Kathy has the adirondak chair/footstool and table set up on front lawn..lol...think she needed a place to sit after all the work she did...

Talk in a bit..

This message was edited Apr 14, 2009 9:09 AM

Neener neener neener I'm FIRST!!! Ha Ha Ha Tee Hee Hee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Betty, welcome back home. I can't wait to see pictures and hear of the trip.

Debbie

Ha! Mary you are too funny!

Laura you are absolutely right. I was with a guy who was diagnosed both Manic Depression and Paranoid Schizophrenia, but refused to take medicine for it. I used to dodge flying full Pepsi cans and other miscellaneous objects, if I wasn't home from work when he thought I should be he would just scream that I was cheating on him, and when we moved into my house he got progressively worse, and after 3 years I had enough. He told me that if I even thought about kicking him out he would burn my house down with me in it, so I gathered my cat, clothes, and other important items and moved in with a friend. He was a very good, nice person but the biochemical disorders really messed him up. If he would have only taken his medicine!!

Welcome back Betty.

I look forward to your stories of the trip and of course, photos too.
I did some more garden clean-up yesterday.
So many perennials popping up. Fun to see them again..many I had forgotten about..
Lots of work to do yet..
I have to secure three trellises that had fallen over..

Morning Betty, waiting to see pictures, and hear of your trip!

Crissy, I hope he finally moved out! Geesh, I had a past husband that acted that way, and I just though he was being OC disorder! So after 14 years he is an Ex hubby!

LK

I found you!

Good Morning.

So glad to see you back Betty. Look forward to hearing about the Trip and photos of all.

Carol, what a big bummer about the trellises. So nice to stroll in the spring and see whats coming up.

I have two daffdoils blooming and the rest are about to pop open...so exciting.

Life is good, just still working around the house. Haven't been doing any crafts as of late although, I am forever thinking about em and adding to the list of wishes. Also, still helping Steve out, he is getting busier and busier...

Crissy, you are so funny, nanners, nanners lol with a little giggle to you!

Well, finally got my windchime out, for the swap so thats now done...

Hey Tubby...that was a beautiful poem and oh that has got to be the cutest little boy in the picture.
LOL, I know, I am posting from days ago.

Froggie, keeping you in my prayers and thoughts here. I sure hope you get to see Iiam.

Stacey, if you are reading, sending hugs and good thoughts over your way.

...It's rainy and just plain cold, so working around the house today.

Oh here is my screenless house-Just added my new windchime from the swap!
Have to finish decorating my summer favorite place to sit.

Judy, that looks so nice, and inviting! All we need is a glass of ice tea!

LK

Judy and LindaKay, I'll join you in that glass of iced tea! Looks like paradise to me!

I would feel so selfish posting all that is in bloom at my house! But if you want, I will. I want to gather a great big bouquet of everything and bring it inside this evening! Already too "hot" here for daffodils and other early spring bulbs. The magnolias here are already starting to bloom!

Shucks! I tried to be the first one to post on the new thread, but couldn't! So, congrats, Crissy!

On a more serious note, my first husband was an alcoholic. Was verbally abusive but never hit me. However, the verbal abuse may not show but it never completely heals either. Just one thing my DH told me Saturday that clearly shows his thinking is not rational. I seldom drink because of the medication I take. As a matter of fact, I have had 2 drinks (not nights of drinking, but 2 glasses) since November. One of our major arguments is his drinking with the neighbors instead of spending time with me and the children. Well, I told him that I wasn't going to put up with the drinking anymore. As a matter of fact, I emptied all the booze that was in the fridge! And I told him that the neighbors would not use my house as the "party house." I didn't put up with it when we first met, and I'm not going to put up with it now. DH also smoked pot when we met, and I told him that he had a choice: me or the dope! He gave up the pot and as far as I know, he hasn't smoked for 13 years! Well, after I said this, he looked at me and said, "I quit smoking dope, but you never quit drinking!" I answered, "My drinking is not a problem, I very seldom drink." And he replied, "Yeah, but you never quit and I quit smoking pot!" Duh! Did I miss something?

Anyway, my class is here and I have to get them on task. Wish me luck! It's my desktop publishing class and they are so more interested in trying to get away with playing games and "hacking" that I have my hands full.

love to all, julie

Hope everyone has a great day....it is cold but we have a bit of sunshine today.

Judy sounds like you are keeping busy....I like LK's Iced Tea Idea!

Julie, keeping you and your family in my prayers....(((hugs)))

Sounds like a great trip Betty.....we can't wait for the pictures!

Hello To All;

Just popping in! Trying to wrap up things at work.....Florida is tomorrow! Yay.

Crissy - what an experience....I guess it toughens up so you can deal with Mrs. Cheerful!
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"....
Julie as well.....I'm proud of you Julie for the volunteer stuff & the appointment! You are being proactive in getting things fixed...that's great!

Judy - I'm joining you & LK & Trisha in the sunroom with a glass of sweet tea myself. :)

Betty - can't wait for pics!

I'll pop in a bit later...need to finish up some more work. After tonight....I won't 'see' you guys till Sunday...

Hugs,
Mary

Where you at Betty? Hope your not over doing it again?

LK

morning all....

mouse problems at home at the moment yuk!
chewed a hole in the back of my new lounge suite the devil...
caught him so hope there is not too many more... ewwww eeeeek.

how u all doing?

Hi all, first thank you all for the nice welcome home..haven't had time to read your posts..shortly after we spoke didn't Kyle and Noah drop in to help me burn leaves..did the dry ones and left the rest that were wet..then Cathy came in, had to tell her of my trip, she was aching, omg did she work, even cleaned up all the grapevine off fencing, something I attack in little bits...decided I at least had to take her to lunch so off to town we went...

Back from town, Kyle and Noah dropped in, went for a bike ride, just a glorious day..Cathy stayed and we got quite a bit of spring furniture out..got the call..

Here I was so worried about having the boys away for 5 days and something happening, Noah just took a pretty severe fall with his bike, can't move, Melanie and Greg are at the hospital and I'm biting my nails...Kyle is here but he said going out to play with his friends with take his mind off of Noah...wouldn't you know..see, accidents can happen anywhere...

Will be back as soon as they know something...

I know you all have a lot on your minds, know although I've briefly read through all the threads my heart has gone out to those of you in need of prayers...

I will look through and reply to all the posts as soon as I can calm down, promise..

Betty..
Prayers for Noah, and for all of you.
That is so scary.

Oh No! Betty, sending up prayers for Noah.

Drats, called Greg's cel. of course you probably can't have it on right..Jeff just called to tell me just how much the boys enjoyed their vacation..

Took a few photo's on my camera..went to look for one, some of you don't know what Noah looks like..so posting my boys..

Kyle, Caleb, Braedon and Noah...

Betty keeping Noah and all of you in my prayers...please keep us posted.

Betty, saying prayers for Noah...I know you must be worried sick. They say accidents always happen within 3 miles of home the worst.

Hugs
Debbie

Noah is the one who looks like you, right, Betty?
Please let us know soon as you can.

Greg just called, thank God !
Yep Noah is the one most like me, little imp..lol

He has 2 sprained wrists, concussion (?) possible fractured elbow..now the doctor says that there is fluid in his elbow which is usually caused by fracture, can't see it in xrays..must wear sling, if by anychance he's still feeling as though he wants to use the sling by Friday then to bring him back and they'll do further xrays..have to keep an eye on him they said...

Thank goodness it's no more than that...when they said he couldn't move, well, let's say that frightened me...tummy is turning..just too much excitement and drama all wrapped into the past weekend I guess..

Sorry I seem to post today of just me/me/me..tired, going to bed..tomorrow is another day and YOU will all be my concern..

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers...
Off to bed..

Noah working at the Hershey plant

Whhheeewww! Thanks, Betty.
Glad it is not terribly bad news.
Still in my prayers, though.

Mary...have a great trip, enjoy it anyway, in spite of some who might not.
Someday they will know...

Betty, that is good news, make sure they keep an eye on the concusion!
Get some rest, and you can post all your info on the trip later

Good night

(((((((((((((((((((BETTY)))))))))))))))

LK

Hello To All;

Betty - I am so glad Noah is okay. He does look just like you! I'm sure when it's all said & done ....he'll have a proud sling "wounds of war" to show off at school and to the girls! HA!

Hey Sharran - Yes - Thank you so much! I just have to remember that. I really really do....I'll try to think about that when attitudes flare up.

And I need to be positive because maybe they will not! :)

We leave tomorrow morning. It's about 5 1/2 hours to my hometown Ft. Walton. We have a condo on the beach. This was 'supposed' to be a "trip with friends" where each teen got to bring a friend...but all the friends fell through. So now it's just the family.

I keep telling myself God has intended for this trip to be just the family for some reason....

Gotta run - go get DS to pack....he hasn't yet....

Hugs,
Mary

Betty so glad to hear Noah is going to be okay......such a relief.........I have suffered with far too many bicycle related injuries with both friends and family. I know what a relief this is.

I agree Mary...these things happen for a reason.....will keep you and the family in my prayers.

They moved our brother in law to rehab yesterday....they think he will be able to go home probably next week sometime.

My Uncle is holding his own....good days and bad days......but some improvement.

Got to check on dinner, back in bit.

Hey Trisha;

So glad that your BIL is improving....I know every little bit that brings him back to home is a huge step!

Your Uncle as well. My thoughts & Prayers are with you!

You guys have the bike shop - don't you? So you probably know all about the dangers of bikes and all....

I think when I come back - I will know why this trip was 'meant to be' with all the changes/problems...I think...... We did a trip w/ friends last May and everything went pretty well....

Hugs,
Mary

Yes, we have been in the bicycle industry for 38 years....we have had, seen and been involved with too many bicycle accidents from skinned knees to fatalities. In addition to managing a shop, and building custom bikes, Bill also occasionally does expert testimony in court cases. Sounds like Noah was very lucky boy.....I do hope he was wearing a helmet. If not I hope Betty insists on it in the future......a bike helmet is the only reason I have a husband now....lack of a helmet is the reason a good friend of ours, who was a very bright and promising bike racer, spent over 4 months in a coma, a year in rehab and will never again be above late elementary/early middle school mentally.

We'll be thinking of you, hope all goes well.

Wow - Trisha - A very Powerful Message to ALL......

I have become known as something of a Helmet Nazi around here.....I just don't want to see anyone, or their families have to go through some of the things we have had or seen happen. Life is too precious to jeopardize because you think the helmet is too warm, or it will mess up your hair....or doesn't look cool...to be a "no Brainer"...No helmet, No Brain. I will get off my soap box now...

I apologize; various posts made me go off on long tangents. I guess the stories brought them up and I’m having one of those days where I need to share/unload.

Crissy, I had a friend who did about the same thing to her husband, had several friends over packed up everything and left while he was at work; her not wanting to go home because her husband hadn’t left for work yet is actually how we originally became friends; though she has serious issue herself. I finally had to cut off my friendship of 10 years, one of my longest friendships of all time, with her and her best friend because they were just bad for me.

We actually room mated with her for two years and that one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made. She would freak out over little things and expect us to do exactly what she wanted and then when we asked her to do something because it was bothering us she’d just ignore us or worse; and I must say that her issues, my husband’s issues and my issues did not work well together. I was also unmedicated at the time.

She was massively passive aggressive, which I unconsciously react to by not doing what ever the passive aggressive person is trying to get me to do, which doesn’t help the situation. At different points she put all the dirty dishes in the oven, because we’d left them on counter, taken everything of hers out of the other areas of the house and put them all in her bedroom and the front room, which was basically her living room, because we had done... something, swept all of Sage’s stuff off a table on to the floor because she hadn’t put it away, among other things. She wasn’t violent and she was out of the house a lot, but that’s the only reason we were able to deal for so long. We were so glad when she moved out, even if it did leave us just barely, as in I have no clue how we did it, making our bills.

Her friend I’ve actually known for longer, but there aren’t really any straight forward examples. He just got incredibly negative, all of the things we had in common disappeared, mainly due to my life changing and his life more or less staying the same, and due to those two things the issues we did have didn’t have anything to make it worth while ignoring. That and them being inseparable, and not in a healthy way, caused the break with him.

I regret that I had to do what I did; it puts some of my friends in a weird situation, but it had to be done. I miss them, but I miss them like they were gone, not like I want to start the relationship again. I can hang out with them without any serious drama, it’s happened once since I made my decision, but I prefer just not to be around them.

Julie, I completely believe that emotional/verbal/mental abuse is worse than physical abuse. Physical injuries will heal, maybe with scars, but the damage is known; the internal scars are hidden and keep causing problems even after the abuse has stopped. Though I can’t prove it, I think a lot of the issues we have with Sage are due to some form of emotional/verbal/mental abuse from her mom and they aren’t one’s you’d automatically connect to abuse. The main one being that if she gets frustrated at all she’ll just shut down and assume she can never do it. She’s smart enough that this rarely happens; she has between a 110 and 130 IQ from the tests they did to see if she qualified for special learning programs, but she has around a K reading level and is in 2nd grade and nothing we can do seems to make much difference. There might be some sight issues making it harder for her to learn, but not harder for her to try, but it’s a blatant example of what happens in other situations. What we’ve figured out is that she has no self confidence so she thinks she either can or can’t do it; she doesn’t think that she’s capable if she can’t do it the first time.

I know that her mother was abusive to DH, he actually fits the “abused wife” profile pretty well if you changes the pronouns and remove the female specific circumstances, or change them to fit. My DH is a really good guy who was trying to do the right thing for his child, he was going to break up with her for doing abusive stuff when she told him she was pregnant, and she put him through hell for the trouble. I can’t even imagine putting up with her s*** for so long, I would have gone nuts and done something severe.

Betty, I so glad it wasn’t anything worse.

Morning Betty,
So glad that Noah's injuries will mend in time.
I hope you were able to get some sleep.
Neat photos of the boys all together and the one of Noah being a factory worker.
They must put on special things for the children there at Hershey's. Did the kids get lots of chocolate? LOL

I have an appt. to have my snow tires switched to my season tires this morning. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Spring has sprung!

Just a quick hello to post some pics. Will be back later to catch up.

And another

my bottlebrush

and a magnolia

Oh, and a pic of my beaded shirt.

Morning everyone.
Betty have you overslept? Hope your doing Ok today!
Love the flower pictures, and that little beaded froggie is so cute!

Laura, you post, and rant all you want to. We all do it at some point. It feels good, just to let everyone else kow what your going through.

LK

good morning all, How is Noah? I'm sure glad your trip was success Betty. Hoping you get some rest this week.

It isn't like Betty to have not posted by now. Continuing to keep Noah and family in prayers. Did Betty have to go into work today?

Zhinusmom..I had a very bad accident when I was 14 on a bike. They didn't have helmets back then, those new 10-speeds with curly handlebars had just came out. And I was riding one barefoot! Went down a hill...over a railroad track...did a flip and OUCH. To make matters worse...I had to get up and ride the bike home (at least 3 or 4 miles) to get help. No cell phones then, and we had just moved to NY from FL...so I knew no one. Nothing broke...but major road burns and scrapes and cuts. Somehow, the only thing not hurt...was my head!

Going for coffee, have a house full of kids on school vacation.

Debbie