Stop and visit, talk all you want. Pt 24

oh, k., I'm so confused. I just posted to zhinu on another site. pleade message me at what site we can all meet up on and direct me. Lee

I cuss like a sailor too!! OMG I have to tell ya'll, the summer of 2006 I was still in Calfornia and Dave started a project fixing up this 3000 sq ft house built in 1911 here in Arkansas, so he left for the whole summer. I was in the office looking for something and found this porn printed out from the computer stashed away. I got this mean streak, so I took the pictures out and found a senior nudity website, a bunch of 80 to 90 year olds golfing in the nude, so I printed out some pictures and replaced the professional porn pictures with these. After he got home he found the new pictures, it was hilarious! He said, "Oh Honey! That's not right!" I've never found anything like that again!

I grew up drag racing with my dad, loved it! He had, still has but hasn't ran in 20 years, a 1956 Chevy Utility 2 Door Coupe. It was cool!

Good morning, everyone!

Hey, Crissy! LOL How are you feeling these days? Pain going away?

My pain is almost completely gone, yesterday I felt a lot of "pulling" in my lower mid section, probably from scar tissue, but yesterday I had a salad with dinner and today I had a bacon cheeseburger. The salad went fine and no problems with the bacon yet either. I would say I'm pretty much healed. Finally! When I get to California I told my friends that I requested 3 foods, Mexican, Vietmanese, and, oh I forgot the 3rd LOL! How do you forget your favorite food??? Oh shoot, I hope Tim remembers LOL!

Glad you're healing. It feels great when you can finally get to eat what you want.

Mmm...Mexican...we had that yesterday. Sauteed pork loin with onions and tomatoes with tortillas, guacamole, more tomatoes and sour creammmmmmm...

Favorite ethnic foods...all of them.

Specifically...Limes, cilantro, Fugi apples, graham crackers, peanut butter, pinapple, mangoes, fruit yogurt, blueberries, grapes, onions, and BBQ ribs. if I could live on ribs, I would. LOL And give me good Key Lime Pie after, I'll be your friend forever!

Terry, we miss you!

Celia, Crissy, Amanda, Judy and whoever I'm not listing, I miss you all too.

Everybody is needing me for something right now.

Phyllis was at the hospital for 1 week. She was transferred back to the Nursing Home this past Mon (25th). The Nursing Home is bound and determined to cause Phyllis' death. Speed it up, if you will. They aren't going to succeed. If I have to keep running down the doctor by going anywhere and everywhere, I'll keep doing it till they get their act straight. I'm also POA for my BIL, so he needed me yesterday. I had my mom looking for Boost Diabetic that's high in protein, since the nursing home says it's up to me. Please pray for Phyl. Not to make her "all better", but to make her days as comfortable as possible. Pray for my continued strength and guidance. I fight and I fight, then I end up outside for awhile in tears. This is hard. Not the hardest thing I've ever done (but lasting the longest), but boy is it up there at number 2. Her kids are still being the same way I'm sorry to say. The youngest is the only one who came when she was in the hospital. Once a week or that one time I had to call him, begging and pleading with him to get here. Monday night, when she returned to the NH, I was set to knock those 2 nurses flat, THEN tell them exactly what I thought of their nursing skills. Instead, I went outside and cried my eyes out. Then found the doctor at the hospital in the ER.

I'm so tired. But I go on.

I'm so sorry I have no room for anything else right now. This is the first time I've been on here (my computer) in a good long while.

Terry, you have our support here in Utah. I called a couple of people this morning after reading your post and we're all going to be sending you good vibes! I'm going to call my freind in San Fran and have her do the same. She prays, so I will have her do that for you both, as well.

You know we love and care about you AND Phyllis. Nothing will keep us from helping you and her through this. Cry for your friend. Support her, be her freind, care for her, be there when she needs you and be there when she doesn't, but take care of Terry, too. You have a bottomless well of love in you. I can feel it all the way over here.

Terry, support coming at ya from Arkansas too! Take care of what you have to take care of, we will be here for you and with you when you have time to come on. We love you!
OMG my evil aunt keeps calling my mom. I wish my mom wouldn't have started this, oh I wish that. I don't trust that woman as far as I can throw her.
I'm frustrated tonight. All my mom does is complain about her pain, and basically complain about everything she sees or hears, "Oh that's so awful, Oh this, Oh that, Oh I can't wait to leave in the morning! All her husband does is argue with her and me, we try to have a normal conversation and he has to tell us how and why it is, whatever we're trying to talk about at the time, how about we don't care the how and why, we just want to talk about it. Dave called a little bit ago and told me how he got in trouble at work last night and why, when he was done he didn't even ask me how I'm doing, just said, "Well I have to go get ready for work, Luv Ya!" and hung up. I can't wait to get to California where the people are fun and positive! I'm having an alcohol beverage on the plane tomorrow! LOL!

Crissy, have one for me, too! LOL

One who advocates for someone on that persons behalf, is now considered a bad thing. If you try to advocate for a person, you're putting words into their mouth that they would not say otherwise. If you ask any questions at said nursing home, you're doubting the "professionals" ability to do their job. If you ask questions and you cannot get a straight answer from anyone and you're getting frustrated, therefore you rant and rave in front of the person you are advocating for. Even though you walked out the door. You just need a chill pill. It's because of you, that this person needs anxiety pills. Nursing home and hospital have their own rules. Doctors orders are not to be followed at said nursing home. Only hospital will follow doctors orders. Want a lot of sugar and said nursing home gives it to you? You're a diabetic, but what the heck, that's fine. Not a problem at all. If you're limited on your intake of fluids and your doctor orders high protein diabetic supplements for you to drink? Have a cup of coffee and a glass of milk and oh hey, why not have some juice too. IF you have any intake for that time frame left, then you may have a tablespoon of the protein drink the doctor ordered for you. Because after all, said nursing home does know better than any ol' doctor. Oh, and please do re-train a diabetics thought process after 33+ years. You know, like starches, even though they turn to sugar in your blood, is not a bad thing. And all the cake in the world, with all the sugar in it, is not a problem either. Isn't that what insulin is for? It would appear so.

Want to get told to leave said nursing home? Try advocating for a person that you love. One that is not a blood relative, but who relies on you to speak for them. Only blood qualifies you as family. Nothing else. If a person would like to get dirty looks from all staff at said nursing home, speak to the actual residents blood relative on the phone. Even though they called the room. It will make all staffs blood boil with each pass they do of the room and they will continue to shoot dirty looks at you.

If the person you are trying to advocate for at said nursing home is not incompetent, that person can tell said nursing home to tell you (the person who advocates for them) anything regarding your medical issues. Oh wait. No, resident of said nursing home must have a power of attorney. Oh wait, you're not first listed first on said POA, so you have no rights what so ever. Oh but wait, said nursing home can't get a hold of first named POA and it's an emergency. Oh well. Tough. Might just as well die.

If you sit outside of said nursing home and speak to residents of said nursing home, you're automatically guilty of telling them all your woes and how awful said nursing home is.

As an advocate of someone you're not related to, try to get the doctors office to give you any information what so ever. Then please have the POA handy to give them with your name listed on it. When the doctor calls said nursing home to clarify what and why he wants done what he wants done, be ready to be the bad one. To "cause problems".

Try voicing your concerns to the director of nursing at the nursing home and see if that helps one iota. You know what, don't even bother. It doesn't. You could try to the director of social services, but she's too busy wearing her nursing home hat and can't see what's right in front of her face. Nor do either of them listen to the resident of the nursing home in which they work.

If you were at the hospital and heard what the wound care specialist said about the wound vac and you understand exactly what they said, asked questions and had them all answered, but nursing home is insistent on having that person sit on top of the wound vac. The specialist clearly said, the doctor clearly said, all hospital nurses clearly said, the CNA's clearly said that a person is not to be on, laying on or sitting on, the wound vac. But nursing home doesn't care. They do, after all, know better. You know, resident being incompetent and all. No wait, they're not incompetent, but you're not first. No, that's not right. You're not a blood relative. Oh heck, now I'm confused. Which hour in the day is it? Or minute might be more to the point.

Oh yes indeedy. That has been a part of my day. If anyone understands why this is happening, please do tell. I'm confused by it all. I speak very clearly and calmly when I re-clarify what Phyllis' concerns are that she has shared with me, but they are insistent that I am the bad guy in this all. They truly are a lawsuit waiting to happen.

At this point in time, I want Phyllis removed from that nursing home and put in another. Another that possibly cares and understands doctors orders. And also understand what a diabetics needs are and they actually meet them. A nursing home that loves when someone that Phyllis loves and that person loves her, but is not a blood relative, wishes to speak on her behalf, not on my behalf, that it would be a good thing and not a bad thing. A nursing home that doesn't mind questions and is confident in their own behavior and they own procedures, that they don't automatically blame me for the woes of the world. Or whatever is wrong in their own personal lives. That is what this nursing homes problem seems to be. Also at this point, I want only the best care possible for her. So if she needs to be transported to another town far far away? Do it. My car does travel.

I would love nothing better than to say they done messed with the wrong chick. However, it's not up to me. It all falls onto her children's shoulders. You know, the ones that are in denial and really couldn't care less? Yea, those.

Will I give up? Not on your life. They can abuse me all they want. Let's see how far they get, shall we?

Does Phyllis know any of this? Absolutely not. My world is fine and dandy as far as Phyl's concerned. But if they wish to start a battle, then I say bring it on. I'm ready. And you know who can explain all this to Phyllis? Why I cannot do anything for her any longer? Here's a hint. It won't be me.

Pray, pray and please, pray some more.

Oh Terry! Dear Terry...we had a similar problem with my grandmother on my mom's side. They absolutely would not listen to us...AND WE WERE FAMILY!!! The Dr.s? Nope, wouldn't listen to them, either. Finally, we had her transferred to a facility that took CARE of their patients and understood about family, Dr.s orders and proper diet.

Crissy, when is your flight? Are you on it today or when ? I'm too lazy to look and see when you said, LOL, so get with us when you can. And I had a drink for you last night. I hardly ever drink anymore but I thought of you when I had it. ☺

Our awning is being delivered today. I'm waiting now for UPS. Isis chased that bad 'ole cat out of the yard again this morning. Stupid thing will never learn that this is not a healthy place for him. I might have to catch him in a cage and take him to the ASPCA or shelter. I don't want to do that but he's wreaking havok on the bird population around here. He's never inside anywhere that I now of. Outside summer and winter, day and night.

YAH!! An awning! No more hot sun!! LOL Sounds like that cat could possibly be a feral cat? It really would be a good thing to trap it and take the cat to the ASPCA. Probably not even neutered or spayed. Just what you need. More cats running around.

Well, I'm going to be in trouble tomorrow. Mark my words. I went to the nursing home about 5:20pm. Phyllis was all doped up. Not sure on what. Not my business, remember? She said she wanted to rest some more before her tray came, so I went on outside. I spoke to no one. I did carry in the case of Boost Glucose Control that the doctor had ordered and the nursing home wouldn't order. I bought it from the pharmacy, one of them, here in town. Had to "special order" it in. If the nursing home decides to do what they've been doing, I guess I'm out $54.54. I stepped outside and I did speak to a resident. Shame on me. I went to her room and here comes her tray. Again, I didn't say a word. Going to hoot and holler about me, then I'm simply not interested in speaking to them either. She wanted her peaches, she wanted up in her bed, so I told her to ring her bell. When the guy came back (same guy that I had mistakenly thought was my friend), they lifted her up higher in the bed and Phyllis asked for the pillow to be put back where I had placed it earlier. He put it in there and looked to me and said "Like this?". I dunno. I can't speak for her. Ask her. All said with that sugary sweet tone and voice and a smile on my face. Ya think he could tell I'm a little peeved over the whole dang thing? You betcha. Think I wanted to knock him flat. Yep. I then asked her if she wanted to tell him what she had asked me to do. She couldn't remember. I almost said I guess it's not important, but it's Phyllis. So I repeated, with a questioning tone, what she had asked. She said "oh yea! That's why I need you Terry". Should have seen the look on that guys face. HELLO??? WHAT have I been saying all this time?? Do they ever listen?? I also got a hold of youngest son. Told him everything I could in what little time I had to talk to him. FINALLY he's pretty upset. Time will tell if anything is done whatsoever. Most of them are supposed to be here this week-end. Then I drove home and cried the whole way.

My carpenter, Tony, is having computer problems. So, since he thinks I'm the expert (HA), he brought the dang thing to me. I've been messing with that thing all day long. I finally found an un-install for the Norton 360 he had on there. Like it worked. I found 4 Trojans on it. And I ain't done yet.

I need to check on his computer again. I'm off. Good night anyone still on here.

Knock, knock, Hello Kwanjin. Leeflea

Good morning, everyone.

I'll be on for a little while.

Good Morning!! Howz everyone this morning? I'm in Calfornia staying with some friends, can't believe how much their kids have grown in 1 1/2 years. They grow up so fast!! I'm thinking it's 10:30 and it's only 8:30 here ug! It'll make for a long day anyway!
Celia, my flight was at 6:00am yesterday morning from Oklahoma City to Denver, then left Denver at 8:15 or something like that to land in Sacramento California at 10:07. The first flight was way fun, it was one of those open planes that wasn't sectioned off for first class, there were these 5 ladies going to see Obama at the convention yesterday, OMG they were a riot! They had Obama signs and everything, the whole plane was cheering for him! One of the flight attendents came over to me and said, "You know what really sucks, I live in Denver and fly to and from all day long and I haven't seen anyone important!" It was way cool.
On the second flight I sat next to this lady who was born and raised and spent the first 28 years of her life in Sacramento, she moved to Denver a few years ago and was flying back to see her parents, grandparents, and all. We exchanged phone numbers and plan to keep in touch. We got in trouble for being too loud LOL. The flight attendants on the second flight were not that friendly. It's weird how on some flights the attendants are nice and go with the flow, on others they want everyone to be respectful of them!
I didn't have the drink I was going to have either, got up at 3:00am all I wanted was coffee! Thanks Celia, there was a short period of time yesterday that I felt relaxed and didn't care about anything, it must have been that drink you drank for me! I felt it!

Terry, hang in there girl. Can't you get her moved since you are POA? You have to get it approved with the insurance though, right?

LOL Crissy! That's too funny about the beer. Yeah, I agree, some flights are more fun than others. I hate flying anyway and I need the distraction. We were on one flight where the attendants were sooooooooooo much fun! When they did the safety speech, they had jokes all the way through. Such as..."We expect no problems on this flight today. If we did expect something bad, none of us would be here." Or..."If we should lose cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will fall from the ceiling. Place it over your nose and mouth. If you place it over your neighbors nose and mouth, you won't get the benefits we offer." Stuff like that. It was awesome! Calmed me down quickly.

Hi...

Glad the flight was good Crissy!

Aww, Terri...Geesh, Know you are going a heck of a time there. Wishing, praying things come together. It is good Phylis has you in her corner.

Celia, Hello...did you get the awning set up? hey, whats the last digit of your #? LOL somehow got erased from my phone.

What you all doing for the weekend?
We are going Camping with some friends. Just overnight but it will be nice to go somewhere different. I want to go to their Ben Franklin store. (it's like a 5 & dime store)

Camping is fun just as long as there are tv's, showers, and internet connection! LOL Just Kidding! Give me a fishing pole and a lake and I'm good!

You know, when I was a kid I used to love to fly, now I just worry too much. Both planes I was on were old planes, but that doesn't mean they're going to have problems. I was thinking up problems in my head before I was even on the stupid plane! Retarded! I've never been scared like that. I kept asking myself, what is your problem!

I think our problem is too much information. We know what COULD happen. I always take what I know and run with it. Darrell gets after me for it, tells me...Don't think about it. I can't NOT think about it! LOL Darrell builds airplanes. I now how safe they really are, old or new. But...

Judy, nope, never did get the awning up. Both us need to be off on the same day for that to happen. ☺ We need a couple of things at Lowe's before we can get it connected to the house.

2

Well that's good about Darrell knowing all about planes, that helps!
I think I'm going to take a shower, we went to bed at 9pm last night and it's 9am now and they're still not up, knowing they have company! I don't like that very much, I feel out of place. My friend Cheryl and her husband Doyle want me to stay with them Sunday night, I think I might. We have all these plans for today, but not if they don't get out of bed! How long can you lay there?

I can lay there WAAAAY long! LOL Until my back starts to hurt, that is. ☺

I wish I could, if I stay in a laying down position for more than 8 hours my back starts to hurt.
Last night was fun! They got a babysitter for a few hours and we went to a nice Chinese restaurant. Tim got carded at the restaurant, he's 34, we were all calling him baby and what-not since he is the youngest out of the 3 of us. Then we decided to go to a bar and have a beer, they carded him there too! We gave him so much grief, it was hilarious! The swim party is today and I go back to Oklahoma City to my mom's tomorrow. I'm ready to go home, this city life here sucks, and it's noisy!

Celia, you need a daddy for a pilot. A private pilot ( who doesn't have cancer right now though so therefore can't fly his plane). Someone like my daddy. That man can absolutely drive me insane, I still love him though. I'm always thankful for his anal pickiness when it's time to fly☺

I'm not sure how to explain this. I'll try though☺ When I was taken into the room and reamed by a nurse and the Director Of Social Services? It was all about me? What an awful person I am? I thought the nurses head was going to explode. Next day, I went in and only stayed for about 45 minutes. I was gathering my thoughts and I needed to be able to stay calm, as in not end up in tears. I needed to straighten out a few things about their misconceptions. So on Fri. I tried. They won't listen. Their minds are made up. That day, I was accused about it being all about me. I don't know how many times I told the lady she was not listening. I did finally tell her to put on her listening ears because she wasn't listening to me. She called in another nurse. Again, same lady said it was all about me and what she was hearing was "I" "I" "I". It's not about me she said, it's about Phyllis and her care. NO, when you take me into a room and ream me for as long as they did and accuse me of everything under the sun, it IS about me, or "I". Would you believe that the nurse she called into her office that day, told me "it's not what you say or how you say it, it's how they perceive you". That's my fault? Under what unspoken rule I don't know about, is that my problem?? It sounds like a self esteem issue to me. So anyway, I was getting really really frustrated because the director just wouldn't listen to me. Their minds are made up and that's cool. I've never insisted on anyone liking me. I told them their minds are made up and then I was accused of having my mind made up. No, it isn't. It's pretty darn close to getting there, but it's not there yet. What I don't know how to say to you all, is that I'm not trying anymore. I've tried talking to the kids and they won't listen to me either. I'm throwing up my hands. Not in defeat, I surrender. I can't take it anymore. I can only cry so many days in a row and be treated with such disrespect, that it's causing me so much pain. Physical pain, headache,stomachache etc. I will continue to listen to what Phyllis wants, she only tells me after all, but I won't ask anything on her behalf anymore. Her call light will on almost 24/7. They will do it all for her. I will continue to love her like I always have. I never have been rude to them and I won't start being rude to them. Please don't think that. I was told yesterday by a daughter of hers, not to "worry". That's like telling me not to breathe. I can't not worry. They're in town for a day or two this weekend. If they want to talk to me, they all know my phone number. If they choose to believe lies instead of the truth, that's all on them. I can't, and I won't try, to make them do anything. And no, I cannot move her. She require too much care and I'm not POA over finances anyway. I've always wanted what's best for her and that won't change. I'll just keep it all to myself anymore.

What really really hurt? Was Phyl telling me later (the day when I tried to talk to the director of social services and a nurse), that she can't get the nursing home to do anything for her. I had to leave her room, because I started to cry. I'm the only who cares and it's killing me to hear her say things like that and I'm powerless. It will literally kill me if I continue on this path. Phyl has told me many times what I mean to her and she knows what she means to me. None of that will change. In every residents room are 2 bulletin boards and they are free to put up any picture they so wish. What picture is on Phyllis' board? John, Krista and me. An old picture, but us nonetheless. None of her so called flesh and blood, it's John, Krista and me. THAT'S what we mean to her. Not just me, John and Krista also.

I've had a headache and a stomachache for weeks now and they're visiting me again today. I'm going to watch a movie this am with John.

Crissy, have fun wherever it is you are☺ I'm sorry I'm not reading and comprehending too much of anything these days ;(

Terry, it's ok hun, you're kinda busy over there. I don't know how you've done it this long, you are one strong person girl! Hang in there, when you get some rest and relaxation and are ready to hear it let me know and I'll tell you all about where I've been.

We'll stand quietly in the background, Terry. We love you. I have tears for you and so does Crissy. Take care, Love.

Yes I do Terry.

I feel so bad for her and I wish there was more I could do.

Me too Celia, me too. Is your phone working any better? I just thought I put mine in the laundry! Panic!

Oh, yeah, phone working fine. All I had to do was tell it to find a signal. LOL How's that for silly? LOL

LOL Too funny! I've done that before, cuss the darn thing out for weeks and find out all I had to do was turn it off and back on again LOL! Hate it when that happens ☺

How do I do it? I don't know. I just do. I was told yesterday I had the patience of a Saint. I wouldn't go that far..lol. I was named after Mother Theresa after all☺Or so the story I'm told goes...

I bought a new program for spyware, anti-virus, may be firewall too, yesterday. Boy, this is going to get some getting used to!! Webroot? Anyone have this on their computer?

I wish all of you were here with me. I could sure use a hug☺

Ooooooh! Here's along-distance hug!!!!

((((((((((((HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)))))

Thank you Celia! Not as good as one in person, but it will do just fine☺♥

I haven't been to the nursing home since last Fri or was it Thurs? I don't remember. Her children are in town. I give up with all of them, except Phyllis.

Tony, my carpenter, was having computer problems. So he brought his computer for me to fix. I had the darn thing almost there. What the heck a Trojan that's a Zlob.downloader is, I have no clue. How to get rid of the
dang thing, I have no idea. All I probably needed was someone to help me remove it once and for all from his computer. But my dad came, I told him, he moves me aside and promptly re-formats the whole dang
computer. Then he left me with a computer, that had nothing on it but one icon, the recycle bin. No internet connection, no nothing. I made him come and fix it. Don't tell him, but while he was doing it, I went
and bought Tony and family a new computer. That's not right to give me a Dell computer to fix and it's not a Dell any longer. It works, but it's sure not quite right. Tony's upset with me. It's how I'm wired and you're
not going to change it or me☺ They should be here sometime today to pick up both computers.

I'm not sure about my own new computer. My dad just shut it off when I left to go buy a new one for Tony. Not correctly. Yep. And now the screen isn't right. I can't figure it out for nothing ;( Oh yea. Everything wrong with my computer or Tony's computers? All my fault. What do you do but laugh?? Seriously. ROFL

My TiVo isn't picking up some of the digital channels and I can't figure it out. I'm thinking I should sit down and write a country song☺☺☺

Where did pepper run to?

Celia, I don't know. Maybe it's not my monitor? Could you start a new thread?

I think it's me who did something funny. Or stupid, don't know which.

Time for the new thread, as Terry said. We went to here...

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/898465/