Anyone else's spouse think they are bananas?

You don't want to raise self-indulgent children, Victor! A happy father is worth sacrifice.

I'm only thinking of them...

How did I miss this thread???!!!
My hubby thinks I'm totally nuts, I think my sis also, I can picture her eyes glazing over when I talk about my plants(on the phone)
When we bought my parents house(my dad was the gardener)and had 90% of the backyard all raised veggie beds, I'm a flower gardener so those had to come out, (hubby at least tilled it for me). He comes in one day and says"man there are a lot of onions out there I just spent an hour pulling them all up " Umm, show me the "onions" I tell him. Well he brings me to the pile of all the poor tulips that he had pulled up. UUUGGHHHH! I made him replant the ones he didn't totally destroy and told him he's never allowed to touch a plant without consulting me first. Well then in the heat of summer the year I was pregnant with my son, I made him go do some weeding, I was very specific with what I wanted pulled. He comes in and tells me he did some extra weeding because our "helpful" neighbor told him to pull some "weeds" All my black eyed susans!!!!! What part of "don't touch any plant unless I tell you to" don't you understand???
Sheesh, he's a little better except for the nasturtium fiasco last year.

Jen, please elaborate on the nasturtium fiasco...

I don't have to worry about anything being pulled up: dh does not venture out past the patio. I never get bothered or interrupted, which is nice. However, I do 100% of the work. Needless to say, the stated rules are as follows:
1. if you don't invest sweat-equity, you are not allowed to criticize the plant choices or design.
2. if you want to enjoy the harvest, you'll have to walk out to the orchard or vegetable garden: grazing is encouraged.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, interfere with soil-building, composting or the worms: major mistake!
4. I do not require your presence in the garden; don't require mine in front of the TV.

I can empathize with those who have to deal with "negatives" in regards to gardening.
It would be so fulfilling to share this passion with one's partner. I can only dream...
I have come to appreciate the solitude, though - very soothing.

I love your rules, Katye!

My husband does take care of every bit of the vegetable garden, the six compost piles (including the chipping), the lawn, and many odd jobs, as well as clean up but I'm the one who does the selecting of plants, the rearranging, the care and feeding, etc. and then the joy of cooking after 8 hours of work outside.

Great post, Jen. Good rules, Kate.

This is just for Kate or any newbies that didn't hear my rant about my nasturtium fiasco....
I planted nasts. around my yard( I had quite a few, wanted to cover chain link fence) and was so happy to seeing them coming up(1st time planting them). Hubby was going to go out and mow, "oh wait," I tell him, "I have to show you where my vines are so you don't mow them." " I'm only doing the front yard" he tells me "and not weed whacking." "Ok." I say. I'm inside and after he finishes the front I hear him around back with the weed whacker...I go running out there, waving my arms. He shuts it off and I ask him if he wants me to show him where I have planted the nasts "no that's ok", he says "I'm just doing the edging, just grass." "Well at least let me show you what they look like," I say. Mind you we're not standing 3 feet from where 1 of them was. I'm still very hesitant about going back inside, now that I think about it I should have stayed and watched him. And you obviously can guess what's coming next...yep sure enough he weed wacked my nasts. Not all of them because I came to my senses and went to check on him. I tell you, if I was holding any type of garden tool he'd be dead. Later as I'm retelling this story to one of our friends... "well it looked like grass" he says. What??!!! I go get one of the chopped nasts from the garbage and pull a blade of grass,(holding them up) do they look anything alike???? DUH!

My husband certainly doesn't "get it". We lived in this house for years before I was struck with the gardening bug...and he never did get bit. People are amazed with the progress I've made, considering what we started with, but he never tells me anything looks nice, which kind of hurts, considering the effort I've gone to. He'd actually prefer the yard the way it used to be I guess, which was all crappy little oak and maple saplings, neck high weeds, etc. He even got on my case the other day about the protective box I made around my hydrangea to make sure the buds are protected. I can see if I had a yard full of high maintenance stuff, but ONE?? And it's not like he built the box, I did that too. I just ordered a palette of rocks to put some more raised beds in...I'm sure he will be absolutely thrilled when that shows up next week.

All I ask is that he mow the lawn...I guess I will have to be happy enough with that. I'd prefer he didn't step foot near any of my plants, truth be told. Every now and then he'll pipe up with something he would like to see in the garden. It's always something like sunflowers. No matter how many times I tell him the yard is all shade, he doesn't get it!


I'm kind of ashamed to say that I'm not a labeller. I sort of don't like to look out there and see them poking up at me, and my garden is small enough that I pretty much know what and where everything is at this point. I take a ton of pics during the growing season up til frost, so I have a record of what was where to refer to if I need it.

Don't feel bad, noreaster. If I get one 'The garden looks nice' per year I almost keel over.

The garden looks nice, Victor!

Thanks, Deb!

hey, Victor, the garden looks terrific!

I love Katye's rule #4

"I do not require your presence in the garden; don't require mine in front of the TV."

Of all the god-awful movies I have had to watch because DH wants to "spend time with me" . . . . how is staring at a boob-tube spending time with ME?????

DH knows how much the gardens cost. Being of a frugal bent, and knowing darn well I will simply replace anything he destroys with something guaranteed to be three times as expensive, he leaves my plants alone. Currently, my biggest problem is convincing him we can afford to water stuff!

Your gardens look VERY nice, Victor.

My husband is an enabler. Do you like it? Then get it. He also helps with everything I ask him too. On his own he probably would not have any flower beds, but he's appreciative of mine. He gets up early, and often goes out and weeds before I'm up. He can actually tell a weed from a flower. One time I couldn't find him and went searching and saw him lying on the ground, and I thought something happened to him. Nope, fell asleep weeding, while laying on his stomach.

Now that's not to say he has no faults, but when it comes to gardening he's a gem.

Here's the gem, himself.

Funny, Polly. Make sure he remembers to keep the pruners off to the side!

wow.
yep - wow is all I can say.

I mow the lawn. It has to be mowed every 5-6 days due to the amount of rain we receive here.
If I want something done, I do it myself. My slice of land is mine, so i take full responsibility for it. I'm sure many can empathize with weeds getting out of hand, or plants not being watered. I have tried explaining the situation as the responsibility of being a good steward of whatever you have, particularly something you depend on for seasonal food. Logic does not matter. In any case, I prefer to be outdoors. I am indoors M-F 7-4, so working in the gardens is one of my favourite places to be. No "time" - just seasons & basic needs. Solace.

Noreaster, nope no trade. I've been married to him since I was 19. 39 years now. I would find it hard, I'm sure, to adapt to someone else.

Now don't be thinking the garden gem is perfect. He sure has his faults, just not gardening ones.


Victor, he could sleep with no problem on pruners. That might be one of his faults.

I would not let my wife sleep with sharp implements - Lizzie Bordon comes to mind.

What if the last name was Bobbit?

Eweeeee, Sherrie, let's not even go there! xx, Carrie

I think if it were up to Paul, our whole property would be black topped, or concreted. lol.

Not after he sees what you'll create this year!

Is that legal, Thom? In Milton, MA, there is actually a limit to what percent of your property can be paved. Too many homemade parking lots I guess. xx, C

Carrie, to be honest, I have no idea.

Pirl-After what I've spent, researched, geared up for, he better like it...lol.

Not my spouse, but my mother also thinks I'm crazy. Last year she threatened with RoundUp, again, one whole bed I had created for my parents, and if I didn't remove everything that was above knee-high, it was getting "RoundUpped!" So, for an anniversary, bday, xmas gift, I pulled everything, divided everything, and cleaned up the whole bed, then put in about $500 worth of perennials. I would have rather planted small shrubs, but that was not an option.
I was up at their house last week, and told my mother she should get out there and start weeding. She informed me, with lots of gerunds (beginning with the letter "f"), that she wasn't weeding, it was my job, and if I didn't, she would (insert more gerunds) get rid of everything I had planted.
Lo and behold...all of the brunnera are up and flowering, along with 2 out of the 3 Hellebore...she told me her and my niece (age 6) were out admiring all of the "bushes" of pretty pink and purples. I asked about weeding? and her getting "rid of" (gerund) flowers...she laughed, and said my niece helped her.

lol.

But, beside Paul, my whole family thinks I'm nuts/bananas in regard to gardening. My parents think that me taking this MG class is a waste...because there is no "pay" involved...

Welcome to my world! lol

GROANNNN!!!!

Education is always worth the effort. If it's something you want to do then do it and I'm sure you will.

Thom, I hope your mom doesn't live too far from you!

My wife is sure I have lost my mind,she said last October you said that was it you weren't buy anymore plants.She never thought that was for 2007.(Silly girl)
Peter

Same here, received order from Bluestone the other day, hubby says I thought you weren't buying any more plants, I didn't I ordered these last year! HEE HEE

gamekeeeper and flowerjen, same here. They were bought and paid for before NY EVE. Of course I didn't mention the bluestone special I ordered yesterday :~)

DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS!!!! xx, C (fingers in ears)

Don't say what words???

sale at bluestone sale at bluestonesale at bluestone sale at bluestonesale at bluestone sale at bluestonesale at bluestone sale at bluestonesale at bluestone sale at bluestone help stop me

OH-OH I'm in trouble now
Gotta check out the sale
Jo Ann

It really is a sale at Bluestone. Not a huge selection but I saw a varigated Hydrengea LEmon Wave for $less than ten dollars. Didn't check the size pot but I paid $24.00 for a gallon size at local nyrsery here.
I bought more Anemone Sylvestrys and Verbascum.

I'm not allowed to buy anything, boo hoo!

I better stop too. I just couldn't resist the price.

Hey, Victor - has anyone mentioned how nice your garden looks?

Not sure - thanks!

All of the photos Victor has posted of his garden and his Japanese maples but especially the pond are fabulous. Good job, Victor!!!