Carrie is an amazing person :-)
How do you feel about getting older???
That's the thing that's making me smile these days - being the subject of my daughter's college essay. Although one of her teachers said "your mom sounds like a wonderful person - but what am I learning about YOU?" ]
Anyway, thank you all for your kind comments. It's getting easier, actually, much easier. I have a wonderful DH, my kids are for the most part on my team instead of XH's team (he continues to be a thorn in my side), they are pretty much old enough to take care of themselves in terms of no more diapers and stuff, although I'm still Mom's taxi, and I have friends like you guys!
Carrie, my sister (54) has MS, but hers is manageable. She takes her shot on Sunday's, so takes Mondays off from work and works four 10-hour days! She works in Boston, so when she gets off the train at South Station she walks almost a mile to her office, and back.
Also, Carrie, my mom died of a stroke about 10 years ago. My two sisters aren't talking to each other and I always end up being their mediator! It stinks, doesn't it?
I've found that 'you know you're getting old" when people your own age start dying - that creeps me out.
I almost wish my father had died of his stroke. (waiting for the lightening to strike me dead.) He was tough to deal with when he was happily being difficult in New Mexico. Now that he can no longer live independently, my brothers are moving him to Newton. I'll have to visit him as often as weekly!
Yes, I agree about people your own age dying. My XSIL died a year and a half ago. I never liked her, and her family pretty much cut me off when we got divorced. She was 50, older than me by a few but not nearly old enough to die. She had a brain aneurism. I wasn't close to her but she was a favorite auntie to my kids.
Sue, your sister must be taking Avonex. I was on that for a year and a half. Now I'm supposed to be injecting myself with copaxone daily, but we just got sick of all those shots, so we're taking a break. I was good for years, though. Five or six years of daily shots.
I.m 78 and happy. My health is good except for some periodic vertigo. My children are grown and sucessful and the 4 gradchildren have made me proud. I've been a widow since 1966 and have raised three children alone. I could have remarried but when anyone tried to correct my children romance went out the window. Several girls who were widowed at that time and remarried have told me that I was the smart one.... they ended up in unhappy mariages and for financial reason stayed in them. I had my problems but I got thru them. I am able to look after myself and with the genes I have inherited I plan on living to be 90. My father lived to be 94 and had all his marbles. Mothe lived to be 88but was confined to a wheelchair for a good many years but had her clear mind. Thats my story.
That's a great story, aged! If you're planning on another 12 years, you're not aged yet.
Agedgardener im so happy you posted, what an inspiration you are. Your story is a lovely one whith a fine lesson thrown in and one I admire very much.
I had bought my daughter a plaque w/a saying on it ..."march to your own drum, conquer the obesticles, follow your heart and be happy." That is not the exact wording, but it sums it up pretty well. She has had it on her bedroom wall since she was 15. Still in her bedroom, only it's in Tampa, Florida now and she's 25. Makes me feel good that it was something she followed no matter how hard it was at times.
What great words to live by!!
I have been influenced by the writings of David Thoureau .I find That I'm happier and more productive if I work and live at my own pace. When I try to live or work at a pace set by others I become stressed out.
How true!
(She exclaimed to agedgardener from the land so loved by Henry David T.)
I think, all in all, we're a pretty happy bunch of cranks! (with good attitudes) I'm glad to know us!
xx, Carrie
Aged and Pixie - Yours are words that strike a nice chord with me! That's what it's all about, isn't it???
Agedgardener - I want to be just like you!!!!!!!!n :-) (Well I like my husband - but I don't think I would be too anxious to replace him . . . .)
You people better be carefull with all your nice compliments. I might start to brag about my grandchildren and then I'd never stop!
How come this turned into a women's thread? [Where's Victor when we need him? washing his hair, lol?] Seandor, as our sociologist, can you answer this pressing question? Maybe because men don't live to be older? Or we're the ones who worry about it?
Historically, men lived longer than women because sooo many women died in childbirth. But in the last 150 years, the trend has changed - in part because childbirth has become safer and prenatal and postnatal care more advanced. I also suspect that, as other acute conditions have been addressed (diptheria, typhoid, etc), we now live long enough for chronic conditions to kill us off - and men appear to be more vulnerable to early heart disease, for instance. Finally, the technologies of war have become much more accurate and devestating.
The result has been the "feminization of poverty." That is, currently, women live longer than men - but have less resources to live on in old age. This is primarily because women are not expected to focus on their careers, but to make allowances for family and other obligations. Thus, many women have less senority than their male counterparts at retirement, and have had less opportunity to climb the corporate ladder as they often took time from their careers when children were young.
The process of repeated entering, then leaving the workforce, often leaves employers feeling that women are less serious about their careers - but often women have no choice. When women are consistently paid less for work of equal value, it simply makes sense to most couples that the woman be responsible for domestic labour while her spouse concentrates on his career.
I do not think that the current generation of young women are "liberated" - I think many will end up doubly enslaved - now expected to make sizable contributions to the household income, while still taking on the lion's share of domestic and emotional labour.
REAL LIBERATION and equality does not require both sexes doing the same stuff - it requires the labour of both sexes to be EQUALLY VALUED. We will know that the traditional work of women - e.g. domestic labour and childcare - are finally given the esteem and monetary value of male labour when (1) men can choose careers as homemakers as readitly as women, and (2) when such labour generates benefits like real pensions for those who take on the responsibility of raising the next generation of leaders, workers, and consumers.
But here is the rub - the most important work in our society - parenting- requires no skills, or education - and as "unskillled" labour requiring no training - it is unlikely to ever be given the recognition it deserves. . . . which, I grant is a very long way from how people age . . . . sorry for the rant . . .
Thank you for the rant, Michaela. You've articulated a lot of things I felt but didn't have the words for.
A case in point: changing ones name upon marriage. When my MOTHER got divorced, 35 years ago, having (or re-claiming) ones 'birth name' was all the rage. I know several other women my mother's age/generation who have their own names, separate from their husbands'. I think I'm the tail end of that movement. I still use my father's name, although my girls have THEIR father's name. These days, though, people I don't expect to take their husbands' names are doing it. Maybe it has to do with where in ones career one is. If you're starting out, inventing yourself, you can choose any name you like. Once you have a reputation or credentials in your name, whatever it is, you might not want to change it. I just grew up with a Mom who didn't have my last name, so my girls are doing the same. Totally off topic, however.
Carrie...on the oppostie side here. Once divorced, I kept his name of Paradis because my children had that name. It was already very difficult for them as it was and I saw no reason for them to have to go through anymore heart-ache or confushion. When I re-married 8 or 9 years later...I still kept the last name Paradis. I went by Celeste Ann Paradis-Plaisted. I did this for 2 full years before I changed anything to just Plaisted. It was a slow transition for my children and by the time the 2 yrs. were up they were old enough to understand it. I must also note that I am married to a wonderful, understanding man!
Celeste, I know other women doing exactly what you're doing (or did). There's really no right way to do any of this stuff! I know one couple where his middle name was the last name of one of her ancestors. So they BOTH chose this name and like it; their kids all grew up with the same name as both their parents. That's ONE first cousin. Her sister had a career with her birth name so kept it, but her three kids have their father's name. Their brother married someone who wanted to take her husband's name, so she took it and they all have the same last name. Different strokes, etc.
Re: aging, I do notice how trends come and go and come again. THAT makes me feel old. Like buying my KIDS bell-bottoms. When I was a kid it seemed like bell-bottoms and mini-skirts had ALWAYS been around and always would be. Thank god I was wrong, and good thing my kids are more confident about their thighs than I was!
My chilvren wore bell bottoms and so did I back then .I also wore miniskirts. One nite I was going to home & schoo; and my daughter told me I looked like "The Harper Valley widow" Here teacher was older than me and was wearing a mini . Hers was stretchy!!Lets not get too seriose about all this stuff.
I HATED all those clothes! My hips are too big to be hugged by pants!
I like mens Levis....why? Because they have no hips and no butt and neither do I! Otherwise I have to rely on juniors size clothing....some I can get away with wearing, but junior size clothing is for the young. I feel stupid wearing some of that stuff, im not young! I just went looking for a pair of dress slacks for DD baby shower Sat. I had a hard time to find some that fit, didn't show my crack, and didn't have excess fabric sticking out blowing in the breeze were my hips were supposed to fill out! I ended up in the Juniors Dept. trying to find a decent pair of middle aged looking slacks. Finally settled on a pair of 7's that wasn't to noticably teens and they actually fit. Tried them on for my DH and he said "Where did you butt go?" Thanks......needed that after 3 hours of hunting for these!!!!! I hate shopping for pants.....give me a pair of pull on athletic shorts and I'm good to go. At least I know they won't fall off!
I'm with you, pixie. Somewhere along the way I lost my butt, too. It's so difficult to find anything that fits right!! And, I look ridiculous in the styles of my granddaughters. If something actually fits, then I look like a stick figure ... almost! I realize that we are probably in the minority as far as clothing designs go. But really!!!! There are days when I want to wear something other than gym clothes.
I once read that women w/out butts should try wearing pants backwards, with the fly zipping up the back. At the time, I didn't know any women like that, certainly not me, but now I'm passing this tip on to you two. lee has a style of jeans that fit me.
Backwards, Carrie? Sometimes frontwards is uncomfortable enough ~ LOL!!!!
I guess I'll have to check the 'Lees' brand a bit closer. Thanks for the tip. And, good morning to you.
I have a ginormous butt and little waist, and Lee fits me, but they do advertise a fit for everyone. Yes, backward, so it's er, flat in back where your butt isn't. I've never had occasion to try it out. Good morning back at you!
Good morning,
I used to wear "student' size jeans up until I had child #4. I called them student sizes...DH calls them little kids jeans.
When my grandaughter goes shopping w/me we often by matching shirts....she wears size 10/12 girls and I wear the size 14/16 . Oh...did I mention I have no bust either? LOL
I think before I wear my pants backwards i'll return to the 'student' size jeans!
I hear ya, Pixie!!
No butt? I thought I was the only one with a flat @$$. I end up in the womens petite section and can hardley find pants, only 5' 2" here. No butt, hips and no hour glass figure. Straight on the sides from the under arms down.
Mens Work Dickies and mens Levis ( carpenter pants ). Carhartt's would be good but not paying 40 bucks a pair. The carpenter pants are great in the garden. You have a loop you can alway's hang a tool and a side compartment for sicissors, clippers etc.
Guy's you must be getting a chuckle out of this topic........
Morning gang!
The guys must be rolling on the floor!!!
I'll post a picture when I get dressed for the shower tomorrow so they can really have a good laugh!
When I was a kid, I made Twiggy look like she had a weight problem (e.g. needed to lose weight!) I was 5'9" and was barely breaking 100 lbs. (My mother is an appalling cook).
Needless to say, no clothes fit me. I was too tall for girls/women's clothes (apparently all women were midgits in the late 60's, early 70s). And even if I could have found stuff long enough - well, there were darts that caved inwards, and backends that sagged for lack of flesh to round things out.
I wore men's clothes for years. :-) But now, I really do have curves! Just not nice ones, and I had to gain a lot of weight to get there. As I tell my students, most women have narrow waists, firm thighs, and deep cleavage - but not all at the same time! lol
Oh yeah, there is one thing I REALLY like about getting older - it's better than the alternative!
Also, it is the great equalizer . . . When I was in my 20s, my "D" s-i-l was a total "babe" - and knew it. She would always "helpfully" point out what I needed to do to improve my appearance - usually in front of other people.
Well, 30 years later, she is a frumpy grandmother - and while I am no great beauty, I finally look better than her - even without all her "useful" advice. . . . . heeheeheehee
lLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, Michaela, I've never heard that one - very funny! But this is just what I said about this becoming a 'women's' thread. Guys' stuff fits them or they don't feel the need to publicly complain about it. For Carharts, try
www.sierratradingpost.com I got a bunch there for DH for $9.99 or $14.99 or something ridiculous.
Michaela, by posting twice, you totally ruined the train of my comment! Plus, it took me fifteen minutes to figure out what a "D" s-i-l was - a sister-in-law you weren't crazy about.
Thanks for the link, Carrie!
I'm bumping this up as my cousin sent me a very cute poem i wanted to share.
HOW TRUE IT IS
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.
I rack my brain for happy thoughts,
To put down on my pad,
But lots of things,
That come to mind
Just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About "Living in the Past".
We used to go to friends homes,
Baseball games and lunches.
Now we go to therapy, to hospitals,
And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay. (did I say GAY??)
Now we suffer body aches
And sleep the night away.
We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.
We used to travel often
To places near and far.
Now we get backaches
From riding in the car.
used to go out shopping
For new clothing at the Mall
But, now we never bother...
All the sizes are too small.
That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too old!!
Thanks Celeste - I think!