Haiku, Anyone?

I've been reading / responding to the "okra" thread for awhile in the "recipes" file. For some strange reason, a haiku seed (awwww...) was planted in my silly summer brain, and....

Long spears of goodness
Plucked from simmering gardens:
Hot okra gumbo!

And another I just made up:

Japanese maple
Bows down humbly to Lord Earth;
I watch the pageant

SIMPLE HAIKU RULES:

1.) Must be about nature (usually extols nature, but "anti" or humorous ones are fun!!)...flowers...veggies....butterflies...rain....dirt....!

2. Usually 3 lines, with 5, 7, and 5 syllables, but there are many variations.

That's it! Hope you join me!!

This message was edited Jul 12, 2007 1:30 AM

Bugs on tomatoes
Feasting on my fresh bounty
Share my meal with bugs

I love it!~ I love the alliteration in line two, and the word "bounty"...have you written before??!!

Seems not many people like to write poetry...awwww
I don't like writing regular ones, but these are such fun!!

Digging in the soil
to plant a new specimen.
Worms frolic about.

Momo...Thanks for joining us...the "few"!! I LOVE your haiku, and especially the "action" in both the first and third lines, AND the word "frolic" is one of my favorites!

Thanx. Are you an avid reaser? One of my favourite books is by Dean Koontz. Its called 'False Memory'. It is sort of built up by Haiku. It is a psycolocical thriller. EEEeerie.

Seed wakes up in soil
Baby looks from underneath
Sees sun and stretches

Oh...Jada...that's wonderful!! Love the 'baby' metaphor!

I hope you guys don't mind my "publishing" your poems in my classroom this next spring when we study them (9th English)! Let me know if "no"....

Publish away. glad you liked it :-).
Joyce

Wish I could think of one - my brain is on vacation right now. When I was in high school (11th grade, I think), I took a writing class and one assignment was to write a Haiku poem. I loved doing it - wish I had the publication the teacher put out (good grief, that was 46 years ago - eeeeeeek!).

Yeah, if you think it worthy, I'd be honoured.

Murmur- This is my first one since 1970! Brings back memories....sigh.

I'll give it a try:

Weeding with vengeance,
sweat drips from blistering brow.
Darn! They're back again.

Sharon

I'm impressed!!!!!

Me too, shebs!! I love the alliteration of "blistering brow"...niiiice!!!

Thanks, Murmur and Connie, for your compliments. I almost didn't send it though; I thought maybe it wasn't that good. I'm glad to know you liked it. It pretty much sums up my gardens -- weeds, weeds, and more weeds. :-)

Sharon

Well, I loved it and I'm still trying to come up with one myself!! I get an idea, but then can't do the syllable count right!!!

Murmur, that was the hardest part for me (but it was fun). I kept trying different words until I found the right syllable count. I even used a Thesaurus to come up with "blistering". I originally thought "hot", but that didn't work. Keep trying different words. I'm sure you can do it.

Murmur,

That's actually the idea...you work with it until it fits...like an artistic puzzle! I don't think anyone just "gets it done" immediately.

With this one, I first thought of the line I used last, and at first I had "My gardens flourish"...but I wanted the idea that they are still growing, so I went with the final version. But perhaps the other way???
The "punch line" as I call it can be either the first, middle, or last line. When it's the last line, you almost get the feeling of a riddle.

Bright green shoots emerge
Long, hot, rainy summer days...
Gardens flourishing.

Hey....you just posted, Shebs! Are we the "stay up late" group?? :)

I work crazy hours. I hadn't been on DG for a whole day! So when I got home tonight I went online to catch up on all I missed in the past 24 hours. I'm getting sleepy though. I think I'll have to continue this conversation tomorrow. Nighty night.

I understand about "catching up"! I actually love it when I return after an absence and find so many "messages" from friends or new info about questions I had...etc. I love DG....hours of entertainment for such a small fee!! (Thanks, Dave and all the DG people!!!)

See ya later~!

Hi Connie, I agree with you about "catching up". It's like getting an unexpected letter from a friend...can't wait to get it open.

When does school start up for you? I would be honored to have my haiku shared with your students. If I think of another one, I'll send it.

Sharon aka Shebs

I have 2 more weeks of vacation, then a week of inservice, and then students arrive August 27...later this year, thank goodness...it's so hot!!

I will do the poetry unit in the spring, but each day I start with a "sponge" activity on the doc camera screen, so will have students try it earlier with examples (yours, etc!).

Okay, here's my effort:

Raindrops keep coming
The rainbow is glorious
After the sun shines

Nice! I like it.
It has three events...the rain and the rainbow and the sun shining which moves it along like a story. Great!
Joyce

Thanks, Joyce!

I was laying in bed last night, unable to sleep, and kept having Haiku thoughts running through my head. And this one emerged:

Soft pink daylily
Blooming in the rose garden
Makes my heart happy

Connie, I'm afraid you've created a monster - I can't stop thinking in syllable count!

Murmur....you did it! And wow...2 at once! I like both, but the second is just wondeful...just the kind of thing that the original Japanese haiku poets would love.....being in the rose garden and unexpectedly seeing a lily that had "sneaked in" and bloomed all on its own! And the fact that nature "gladdens the heart" is a huge idea in all poetry. Great!!

Connie, thank you!! Now YOU make my heart happy, too!

I can't wait to show these to my students!

I think I will issue a challenge lesson:

1. Student writes one
2. Student and parent (grandmother, sibling, etc.) write one together
3. Parent writes one alone
4. Student writes final one alone

The learning process should Not just be on the shoulders of the teacher. I tell my students that when a paper is assigned to be written at home (only 10% of the papers we do for the course, as we start the "AP timed writings" at 9th grade) parents are encouraged to read, make comments, help edit, etc. They are graded accordingly.
It takes a village.... :-)

Connie, I think that's marvelous - how's the success rate of family involvement?

It's high in the district in which I teach...parents are almost all professionals and want their children to succeed to an extremely high degree. I"m very lucky to teach there...LOVE it!!

Wish there was a way to incorporate this kind of thing into inner city areas, but the families are not only non-professional, many are also in trouble with drugs, etc. Sad.

I am so glad you love teaching - we need more teachers like you, that's for sure!

hey!!!!!!!!

Murmur,
I think its a fallacy to assume that drug addiction doesnt affect "professionals" or that inner city families are not involved with their childrens education.

A "professional "became a "professional" bcause of drive and help from teachers who see potential and nurture it whether the family is professional or not. Problems happen in all families and children are resilient when they are supported.

You are right Connie that teachers cant do it all and I am sure your students are lucky to have someone as devoted and caring as you. Teachers really should be given more recognition.!

Frost white, velvet red
Daisies and roses reach up
To the golden sun.

I think you may have taken me a bit too literally, Jadajoy - for sure professionals get addicted to all sorts of things, too (I've known and worked with/for many - I struggled with alcoholism myself and I'm no slouch), but I think that percentage wise, not nearly as many inner city kids have the support kids all need nor the role models.

Anyway, back to topic!!!

Cmoxen, that is wonderful - I had an instant visual!!!

Murmur,
Thanks for clearing that up. Didnt mean to get "off topic" but I agree kids need support regardless of where they live and false generalizations about "inner city kids" hold no water with supportive teachers.

Introducing the use of haiku to any kid or youth is a great way to inspire creativity!
(And the not so youthful :-)

CMoxon.

Great haiku! I personally love personification in poetry, and the "daisies and roses reach up" part just speaks to me, probably because I tend to consider my plants my babies.

(off topic a bit: I will have to say, also, that since I'm on a no sugar diet that the first line reminded me of my grandmother's red velvet cake! Yum!)

Here's a few haikus inspired from my view of my Florida beds:

The butterflies:
Fluttering yellow,
Around my cassia bushes,
Cloudless sulphurs play.

My irrigation canal:
Seen for a quick breath,
Between the water lillies,
Softshell turtles swim.

The ducks:
Big clumsy waddlers,
Pecking at the grass all day,
Muscovi ducks roost.


My foxtail palm:
Stand proud and pretty,
Fronds swaying in the breeze,
Happy foxtail palm.

Sylvain.

Thanks Connie! My plants are my babies too, because real babies are just too noisy and demanding for me! I prefer the demands of plants (and my greyhound). I tried to do a greyhound haiku but it is a bit clumsy I think.

Great hound who stretches
So elegant and gentle
The wind at his heels

Sylvain - great haikus! Very creative. I especially like the turtle one. I think your name is interesting since you are in Florida. One doesn't often see polar bears in Florida. :-)