Surprise visits good or bad?

Mahnot, I applaud your post. Too true!

We once were 'gifted' by a visit from an old Navy buddy of
hub's. Funny thing is, hub hardly remembered who he was.

The wife sat on the couch as if it were dirty
and reeled back when the cats came in, with the
pulling up of her arms as though they were wild
and vicious. I asked her if she was allergic, and she
replied "No." That was it. No explanation for her behavior.
I didn't expect her to cuddle them, but the way she reacted
made me half laugh and half wonder what was the big deal.

She scanned the room the entire time and sure enough,
she found a cobweb, which she could not help but to
point out. Of course, I was courteous enough not to point
out that she had been in dire need of a Kleenex since she
arrived, so we're even.

Are you coming to see me or my house?

Wuvie, like you I have my office at home. People can interpret that as meaning you're available at the drop of a hat, and they couldn't be more wrong. I'm just finishing up a four year course for a counseling license and am overwhelmed with homework and studying. My house is a mess and just has to stay that way until my final exams some time in May. The last thing I need right now is the stress of an uninvited visitor.

I have to admit that before I started this four year course, my house was tidy and my office was not overflowing with stacks of papers. A neighbor dropping by didn't send me into a panic. I still think it's courteous to call first.

June

I do not do well with unannounced company..........it is NOT a good thing to surprise me. My house is a pigsty most times. Why, you ask???? Because I am never in it except to stir up some swill for our trough, pitch the dishes in the sink, and back outside again to beat my head against the wall. However........you are always welcome if you stop in to come to the greenhouse. LOL Just not "the house". Barn is probably a little cleaner than the house too. So, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, is it????

I never answer the door if I'm not expecting company so it's never an issue with me.

I don't answer mine, either.

I've enjoyed this thread. My mom has always been an immaculate housekeeper - at 2:00 am, 10:00 am, 1:00 pm, 4:00 pm whatever, house is always perfect. Not mine!! My house is lived in - it is not dirty - just not always perfect. Plus, I work outside the home and when I am home, I might be wearing sweats, nightshirt, jammies or whatever.

I hate drop in company. My mom thinks I have something to hide - no - I just think it is poor manners to drop in on someone, especially today when everybody has a cell phone!! I might have things to do - laundry, cooking, gardening, painting my nails, coloring my hair, etc and I go to bed early. I get up at 4:15 am. I guess I have so little time at home, I hate someone invading without asking, ya know?

Thanks for letting me vent!

Brenda

plantnutz, ditto! "when I am home, I might be wearing sweats, nightshirt, jammies or whatever."

Some days I am in my jammies all day! It doesn't bother me a bit. My jammies are the most comfortable next to nothing...and I won't say anything about nothing... LOL

My home is MY castle, no matter what. It's just not expensive enough to have a moat around it~~~

my mother in law did that to me a few weeks ago. Showed up unannounced with a good friend of hers. I don't care that she's been a family friend of HERS for years. Thankfully, I just finished cleaning the house from the wreck the kids made. But normally on Saturdays at least the living room and kitchen are wrecked.

So the house was clean but we were all in jammies and I had rollers in my hair. I was pleasant and all, but I would have rather that she called. I love to entertain, but not unexpectedly!!!!

Was raised by my grandmother and also married where my husbands family did same...friends/friends of friends and family were always welcome...if supper was on, extra's were found and we enjoyed the day...that's pretty much the way it is in my home...I'd be upset if someone was in the area and not drop in....more than not the back door is open , note on the door saying " make yourselves at home-I'll be back shortly"....in fact, I have a painting studio downstairs and I work in the city, so a couple of days a week a friend teaches painting at my home..I've seen friends surprise me by making curtains, maybe put rugs on the entrance way coming in back entrance, come in and show my home to friends etc. but often I'm also surprised having meals are left for me to enjoy as they pass by...I'm gratified that my home is their home..it's a joke around here, that if anyone needs a home, I invite them in...in fact, many years ago while working at a community centre a couple from Belgium were travelling the world and asked if they could camp on the grounds..before you knew it they were spending 3 days with me..living as family..still to date, I get cards from them..they were a young married couple, both teachers, who took a year off..they said I was the only one who invited them into their home.... I'm not a visitor, but I sure enjoy company....

Betty..your graciousness is a blessing, which is why you are always blessed with wonderful surprises like meals and decorations for your home.

May the Lord bless you for your generosity.

i can't believe this thrtead brought so much emotion into it. LOL i guess with just me and my dw its a lot easier to keep the house up. we go through the wole house once a week. i start in the bedroom and she starts in the dinning room and we work towards each other. i don't know why but i ALWAYS seem to get to the bathroom before her. hmmm. since we got the new windows that drop down that makles window day a lot easier. i am a little confused though. am i supossed to shave my legs. LOL

LOL @ Herbie. Yeah, it's easy to keep the house up when it's just you and the wife. But when you have three children ages 11, 6 and 5 that just love to wreck clean spaces, it's a little more difficult. I literally clean EVERY day in the morning and by evening the living room, kids rooms, and kitchen are a wreck again. Then I do my night cleaning because I hate waking up to dirty house. I'm still trying to figure out how the house gets wrecked between nightfall and morning. Hmmmm.....

I expect advanced notice. I spend my time between work and home chores running errands and helping out my elderly parents so even though I may be thrilled to see you there just may not be time for a good visit if I have no warning.

I have a dear friend who showed up just as I was walking out the door one day. I hadn't seen him in over a year and he wanted to suprise me when he managed to get to my area. I couldn't just turn around and drop everything so we ended up not being able to visit and it was 6 months before he was in town again....but he let me know he was coming so I could plan to be home.

We often squeeze a weekend drive in on the spur of the moment and end up in an area where we have friends. When this happens I call them and say we are in the area and plan to stop somewhere for coffee and if they have time would they care to join us. This gives them the chance to say they are too busy, meet us for coffee, or invite us over to their place. They can also screen their calls and pretend they were not home and my feelings won't be hurt because I'll never know about it ;~)

I don't mind spur-of-the-moment meeting up at a coffee shop at all. That's ideal to me because I don't worry about the house, and if I'm free I can just bop right on over.

This happened to me just this morning. I feel like crap as it is, still in my jammies, the house has a "husband has been gone for 2 weeks" look, dishes haven't been done, etc.

About 8 this morning the dog went nuts. I peaked out the front door and it was my neighbor. I didn't answer the door.

Unexpected visits chap my butt, although Ed McMahon would be welcome here ANY time. I wouldn't mind that unexpected visit at all, lol

Considering those folks never answer the door with severe bed-head or wearing torn-up t-shirts, I think they must have some advance warning of Ed's visit. LOL

I have surprise visitors all the time. Sometimes I mind and sometimes I don't. I mind when it seems to be one after the other on the same day and I don't get anything accomplished. There's too many days like that and it gets frustrating.

If I'm in my jammies, I don't answer the door. Most folks know that I'm in my jammies until 8:30 or 9:00. I even drive to school for morning drop off in my jammies, covered by sweat pants and a big sweater.

If I have nothing major going on that day, I love the company and the opportunity to sit and visit with my friends. Don't mind whipping up lunch and a pitcher of tea at all.

noobie - didn't your mom tell you that the first 15 years of child rearing are the worst and then it gets better or maybe its the first 25 years. i seem to forget. LOL

Never heard that one herbie!

It is the first 25!!!!

I love surprise visits. Since I am always up and presentable by 7 am, it is hardly likely that they would catch me in my jammies. If that would happen, well... they can join me for breakfast...after I excuse myself to get dressed.

A post just came to mind, somewhere on one of my sites, and it could be this one...a woman said she had a wonderful way to enjoy friends/family who came unexpectedly when her home was less than presentable...

She went out to Dollar store and bought various 'Get Well' cards and signed them in different names/ink. When a knock came to the door she quickly put them in a visible position for all to read...excused the mess due to illness....some even offered to help tidy up and get her coffee/treats...lol..

My house is "clean enough to be healthy....and messy enough to be lived in".

LizH....I know your house would pass muster any time of the day....and you probably have something good to eat that you can pull out of the freezer too! The problem is...you are so far up on top of the mountain that anyone would be stupid to not call first...in case you're not home and they've made that trip for nothing!! LOL Cuz Jo

roadrunner...didn't Chuck Swindoll say that? I think I remember him saying that. Is that where you got the quote from?

noobie....I don't know whom to credit the saying too...but they have to be very old as I have heard it for years!! LOL Jo

LOL...It may appear those who don't wish for surprise
company feel that way because of messy homes.
Not true.

There are many of us who love to have clean homes, but unfortunately
life brings other things to do. Kids, pets, jobs, there is a long
list of things to do besides keep a pristine home.

It isn't about messy to me, it is about free time I may not have.
There are few people these days who do not have a cell phone.
Many of us long for a day off, would love company - when there is
good time for it. Use the phone and call. Make plans.

Skipping a morning television show is one thing, but it is
hard to entertain surprise company when you are on
a deadline, watching the clock, knowing you should be out
doing a particular job or project, but instead you are sipping
coffee. "The important things in life" and "it doesn't matter as
long as you have friends" are both fine and fuzzy, but not
always applicable.

Don't get me wrong, I do make time for friends and family.
But it is much more enjoyable when plans are made and
you have a moment to get your mind in order, much less your home.

KM

Well said, Wuvie!!! Very well said.

Clean or messy, busy or "resting". Our house is practically always neat and tidy due to a very neat and tidy wife. (don't look in my shops though) My dear one has lots of friends and they call before they visit, always pleasant to see them. I have 'company' a couple times a year and enjoy them with or without an appointment. Drop-ins are not a problem even if 'advanced warning' would be handier. We have a what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude. Flowrlady hit it when she said "My home is My castle", so if you drop in here unannounced you may be expected to join in with whatever I may be doing at the time; yard work, crafts, cleaning, pounding nails etc. That someone cares enough to take the time to stop and visit says a lot to me. If you can stop what you are doing and devote some one on one, fine. If not then maybe they are just as happy going along with you and what you are doing at the time, and maybe thats what they came to do anyway, and if you are still in your "jammies" it's your home and next time they will probably call first. At least that's my story, and I'm stick'n to it.

I do clean my house on a regular basis, so it's not dirty. However, like DH said when he walked in the door the other day. "This place looks like a pet daycare center!" LOL

It does too, we have a puppy and two kittens, and they are spoiled beyond belief. They have nearly every toy made for pets and they "use" them. We usually pick them all up before going to bed at night, so we don't step on one if we get up. By morning they are scattered throughout the house again.

Rarely does anyone here make it to the door through 8 or 9, or maybe a dozen, barking dogs. They sit and blow the car horn. I don't mind that, it has to be, but why do they have to blow it for the next county to hear, or repeatedly? Something about a long, loud blast of a horn (as opposed to a couple of sweet beeps) that really puts me in a crabby mood, just like that. There are some who do try to come in the gate. How much common sense does that take?

I get visitors - strangers - who need help with their dogs. Lots don't have phones. They stay in the driveway, and I'm glad to help. I am not happy when people who do have a cell phone plastered to their hips, (I don't have one), don't call first, even if it's the absentee neighbor from SF. He's usually here on weekends, and I don't get dressed. Well, I avoid getting dressed, anyway, but that's another topic. I'm sure he wasn't happy with me shouting at him from the house that I was about to get in the shower (I was) and had to go to town last time he was here. I had to shout to be heard over the dogs- but hey, he had the phone right with him! You'd think after being ignored for several minutes, he'd have figured out I wasn't coming to the gate.

Recently I started putting a sign on the gate - "Do not disturb-working" Not sure everyone can read, but it's the final step to actually putting a big gate across the driveway. Parking the truck where it can be seen from the road with no turn around (which means people have to back up 250') has seemed to slow down strangers who are looking for work or hand-outs (also that I don't loan money now - work now, then get money, or go away; few people still come over; guess the tattoo on my forehead is fading -"sucker")

Drop in visitors on sunny days - no problem - we can stay outside if necessary, and I generally walk 'em around the place. I get so few visitors, that, unless I'm on a deadline, I do stop what I'm doing to visit, or visit while I continue on, if it's not something I have to concentrate on.

Messy house? I live in a dog house; paw prints, hair, dirt, sand...c'est la vie.
But if you're in my area, you'd be quite welcome-a warning from the grocery store would be helpful, however-to get the dogs ready. :-)

I really have enjoyed reading this thread, the dogs licking the dishes was hysterical, also Anna Z's post! I do not like the trend I have seen developing around here for everyone to just walk into my house/yard as they shout out "Hello!" My husband's friend has even started a weekend routine of dropping off his daughter, to play with my son, because she's "bored." How convenient, she gets bored every Friday night?? Makes me feel anti-social and mean, which I don't think I am at all, I just want a chance to shine at being the attentive hostess I was brought up to be. I can't be one if I don't know you're coming, and I don't have TP, much less food or drink, to offer.

can't resist
I carry my own tp. (well, there is always a roll in the truck..:-)

Excuse my ignorance... what's a tp?

t-toilet p-paper.

That's too funny 4paws, LOL.

This message was edited Apr 14, 2007 10:04 PM

Prairie, that guy needs to hire a babysitter. How presumptuous of him!

I too hate surprise visits.Unless some one is planning to come,my house is a wreck and I probably need a shower(been working out side all day-mud on my face).
But I do try to be relaxed if they show up ,whats the difference in the long run.My mom always says they came to see you not your house and if they notice the cob webs I just say are left over Halloween decorations I forgot to take down,Hahahah
funny thing is when planned guests do come we're all cooking and drinking messing up the place faster than I could have cleaned it up in the first place.
Ahh well "there's clean dirt and there's dirty dirt.
P.s It bothers my husband ,but everything does-he's a minimalist and a perfectionist.I'm a pack rat .I couldn't win if I tried.

I've never had a surprise guest, but if I did, I'd be embarrassed to death. My place usually looks like the black hole of Calcutta.

LOL Kelli,

Doesn't it make you wonder if the folks who pop in
unannounced have equally if not messier homes, and
just want to know that other people live real lives, too?

:-) Ha ha!

Wuvie
I think you hit the nail on the head! Come to think about it the people who "Just drop by" don't seem to have many come over to there places and for good reason -there place is a wreck too . They probably were just getting sick and tired of looking at there own mess and my place was at least a nice change of pace.!!!Hhahah

The people I most dread stopping by are those we know have homes that are not cluttered and never have cat hair tumbleweeds drifting across their hardwood floors. LOL