Language in D-mail

OK, here's an old one--- may you grow like an onion with your head in the ground and your feet in the air (well, it is a curse). And see, no bad words either.

ROTFL!!!

Cute! And it won't make anyone passing by cringe or make your mother blush.

Is it OK or amusing to wish someone ill as long as there are no swear words? I find that a confusing message but then I'm a simple soul :)

I think this has been a fascinating discussion and I was reading the other day that the words we see as swear words today have only really been seen as offensive since the 1800s, prior to that the only really offensive words were those that were blastphemous.

Swearing has even come down to plants, it's a well known fact that the common pronunciation of Fuchsia (few sha) was changed because the original pronuciation was unpopular.

Today the taboo words are those that target and generalise groups of people. I think we are seeing our offensive words evolving right now.

When words are used to hurt feelings or do harm that's equal to (or worse than) swearing and would be better off avoided.

Long after arguments or disputes are forgotten or resolved the words used in anger are not easily forgotten.

I think the concept of curses are funny. I immediately think of old gypsy movies. I think they are comedy relief.

I've enjoyed reading this thread. I have to agree with Baa. Curse words vary greatly in different cultures and countries.

The word that P. Bush was overheard saying on a mic that was supposed to be closed, is not a swear word to me at all. My mother always said it was 'barnyard talk' and not particularly nice. I've taught my kids the same thing. They still tell me - barnyard talk mom, barnyard talk, if they hear me say it. My parents said it in Dutch and English sometimes. lol

To me, swearing is taking the name of the Lord in vain. Pure and simple, nothing else, one of the Ten Commandments. Any other four-letter word is just cursing/bad language and not pleasant to listen to but does not endanger the soul. And that's what I believe. :)

I don't have children at home anymore. But I don't like the poor Language coming into my mail box for me to read. You should not have to worry about nasty, poor Language being used in Dmails or in Feedbacks / Children or no children it does not belong on or in DG's Forums, Dmails or feedbacks period.

I agree 100%.

Baa is right, a lot of Shakespeare's writings wouldn't make it into forums and D-mails. And a lot of language in the Bible is euphemistic, because Hebrew (ancient and modern) lacks the words we have in anglo-Saxon for body parts and processes (yes, I do read Hebrew, and that is the language I read the Bible in, too).

...Which is why forums have a way to eliminate offensive messages; since D-mail is private, and you can create a trash bin to throw it in and let the sender know how you feel. We don't know each other personally, with few exceptions. When someone uses the e-mail shorthand ROTFLMBO, you may be offended because it refers to the sender's posterior, yet I may not be. But don't censor my D-mail or the next person's! Let me do that for my private D-mails and e-mails. And let a sender know what you don't find acceptable in a D-mail or e-mail, if the occasion arises.

Baa quoted, "Is it OK or amusing to wish someone ill as long as there are no swear words? I find that a confusing message but then I'm a simple soul."

Me too, methinks.

If all cuss words were now designated as normal language, would the cussers still use them? Apparently cussing serves some sort of purpose to those that do.

Probably not in a swearing sense but these are words which have been in the language longer than their current offensive designation. No doubt there would be another set of words complete with their own instead ofs set take their place.

There's been a number of studies about swear words, it's interesting and ranges from the nonsensical to plausable. The idea that they express an emotion and help to relieve stress or shock seems plausable to me. Using them in every sentance, seems to me, is less using a swear word and more buying time before the next word comes along, same as any other over used word :)

Um, another word I don't like to use.

You're right, other words would take their place.

Personally I'll be happy when this thread is over because I feel that both the content and tone of several posts have been over the line but I do want to point out a few faults in the logic of certain arguments.

Argument 1: Because everyone here is an adult, it's irrelevant that kids shouldn't be allowed to see profanity.
Not everyone here is an adult. Anyone over 13 is allowed to participate in the forums and people of any age are allowed to sign up and receive D-Mail.

Argument 2: Because D-Mails are private, they should not in any way be censored.
First of all, it is not an invasion of privacy for a PHP script to automatically look over a D-Mail message before it is sent. Secondly, if you cannot censor D-Mail then that would mean you must allow any amount of abuse, advertisement, personal verbal attacks, or anything else that people may want to put in D-Mail messages. There is no reasonable distinction between swearing at someone who finds it offensive and verbally attacking them in any other way.

Argument 3: They are just words like any other. They will be replaced with other ones in the future.
It seems one could argue with equal validity that since the language will change over time, the words used to verbally attack someone in any way will change so there's nothing special about the fact that a sentence is a verbal attack; it's just a sentence. Clearly that doesn't work well. Profanity is profanity. There always will be words considered profane and they will always be offensive to some people. It is irrelevant whether or not those words change.

Argument 4: If anyone has a problem with profanity he/she should just tell whoever is using it to stop.
Again there is no distinction here between profanity and any other type of abuse. It implies that any type of behavior is just fine as long as it stops when someone asks. Also, there are currently over 250,000 people who can use D-Mail. Personally, I would get tired of asking long before I had asked every person who has the ability to D-Mail me.

I do not intend by this post to show disrespect for Dave's decision. It is his site and his decision alone to make. The only reason I post at all is that Dave has left this thread open for the time being and so I assume that Dave is OK with the discussion for now.

-Paul-

If AngelSong is really upset about a personal DMail, then she needs to reveal the sender. She does not need to reveal the content. Let the system straighten out this mess.

I think Angelsong is wishing she would not have asked the question. If I understand right, she was just asking why the same rules for the forums do not apply to dmail.

There was no email sent to AngelSong. The first message is totally hypothetical. Don't skip the "ifs" and "cans" in it. Her question just served as a platform to open this whole discussion, albeit unintentionally.

My 2 cents worth:

1st penny - Dmail is private - person to person and NOT posted for public access. If someone is being harrassed by Dmail it should reported to DG and I'm sure they will take appropriate action.

2nd penny- If children have access to your computer then you should NOT have your computer remember your log in information so the kiddies can simply log in, get into your account and read your Dmail.

Thanks again DG for such a great website.

Robin

Paul there's a world of difference between making an attack, emitting an expression of emotion and general language use. Being insulting is being insulting, a clear intent to offend the listener or reader, they can be made with no swear words involved. Someone not so long ago on DG said to me that my country was a "bit of dirt surrounded by water" which was unpleasant and incorrect too so what I ought to feel most offended by I don't know, (it's too much effort to worry about) but no swearing or even offensive sterotype like words used.

As for profanity is profanity, actually no it's not, there are a couple of words used in the forums that are profane in the UK that seem to be perfectly acceptable in the US to the degree that they are allowed here on DG.

We can't always know exactly what is and what isn't appropriate we can only take cues from community rules or social standards. Should there be any offense made then it needs to be communicated. It's good to know that there are clear rules for us to follow here on DG in public and more lax rules in private, whether we like it or not at least we know where we have to communicate our feelings to induce happier relationships with our fellow members.


This message was edited Oct 7, 2006 12:02 PM

I basically think we've had a good sampling of opinions in a civilized manner. If it wasn't interesting, I would have unwatched a long time ago. I live in a small town, never left. I tend to be narrow minded because I never had a job. I haven't had the opportunity to live in the ''real'' world and interact with people. I like discussions. It teaches me many facets of a single situation.

Thanks everyone!

I don't really see much of a difference at all. If you take my Lord's name in vain you are attacking me much more viciously than if you simply mock my country or race. If you throw obscenities around when talking to me you show as much disrespect for me as if you spit in my face. Just because not everyone would be as offended as I would be doesn't make it less rude. If the person who insulted England had said the same thing to someone in Mongolia it probably wouldn't have been as offensive to that person, but I'm guessing that doesn't make you like it any more.

-Paul-

Paul, as I've said all along, it's about choice and it's dependant on the individual. It's us who choose what we see as offensive, if certain words and phrases offend you then anyone who continues to use those words and phrases around you (after being requested not to of course) are being disrespectful to you. We hope people have the grace to not suddenly express themselves in a way we deem offensive, it just happens on occasion, quite by accident. Same view, different platform.


Billyporter, I agree it's been very interesting to see all the different views expressed here. We don't have to agree with everyone or anyone do we in order to have a debate but it does help to create a wider understanding of each other, well of course that's just my opinion! ;)

It's a good opinion.

And one more small opinion. Baa said, "it just happens on occassion, quite by accident." That might be true with the spoken word, where mouths sometimes run faster than we'd like. But in the typewritten word, there is time to think about how to get one's point across, and also time to 'backspace' and replace unkind opinions and words with more diplomatic ones.

Just so everyone knows, I am on record as one of those who would like to keep profanity, negative connotation and 'double entendres' out of my earshot and eyesight. But you all probably already know that. So thanks.

Pins2006, it was NOT a hypothetical, she DID get an email. Please see her post:

AngelSong
Victoria, TX
Zone 9b
Sep 2, 2006
6:51 PM

carry on.

I guess I totally missed that message. Thanks for letting me know that it really did happen.

Carmen

Well, it IS a long thread, easy to miss! ☺