Language in D-mail

I didn't realize that we could make a delete folder. How nice. If we can make a delete folder, then we should be able to make a Trades folder, which would be very helpful to me. Great information, Terry. Thanks!

I need to "control my mouth"?!?! Excuse me??!??!

And that's supposed to be a "gentle response"?

I don't get up on a high horse or think myself better than anyone else for not using cuss words. Most adults do cuss every now and then. That's the way of life. Pretty much everyone I know comes out with one of the milder cuss words every now and then. I do cuss sometimes. And sometimes in the privacy of my own home it's more than a little.

If you want to look down on me because of that, go ahead. I don't care.

D-mail is private conversation. If you don't want to have a private conversation with someone, don't. But let's not carry censorship to a ridiculous level.

I very rarely drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't eat fast food. I floss religiously. And I always wear my seat belt.

But I do cuss occasionally. And I'm not going to feel bad about it at all.

It always amazes me how people will read what they want to read, whether it's there or not. There was never any offending Dmail. It was simply a hypothetical situation. No one has been chastised for using offensive language.

The way I read it, this topic was a non-issue from the beginning, a molehill became a mountain, a truce was accepted by all, and the original participants all shook hands and went home happy.

Furthermore, Dave himself stated very clearly that there is no moderating of Dmail, nor does he intend to start. That should have ended any further ruffling of feathers.

Please don't anyone feel as if there is a need to prolong this discussion. Okay? It's already been settled in a diplomatic fashion.

nap, I want you in the UN.

i hadn't planned on responding to this thread at all. everyone else has voiced my feelings perfectly enough that i didn't see a need, but just for the record, i believe that angelsong clearly stated that she had, in fact, received what she considered to be inappropriate dmail. it wasn't hypothetical.

This wasn't hypothetical, it really did happen.

Can't we just let this die? I asked a question, got yelled at and told "NO", along with all of your nasty responses. Get over it, already! I wasn't "looking down on you", I was SIMPLY asking a question.

Those of you that keep starting your complaint with "I wasn't going to say anything.. but..." . Can you please just NOT say anything?!? Is that so difficult?

you're welcome.

Thank you, dave, and Terry, for removing the mail.

Apparently what we say around here isn't as private as some of you think.... There's that "nasty Big Brother" again.

what grows in your garden ?
some seem to plant spite and striff and sheer meanness .
lets plant some love and serenity .
When needed pull the weeds out .

For Debi...yes, I see that I was wrong. It was the children that were hypothetical, not the mail. Well, it looks like I'm guilty of the same thing I was talking about. My apology to all.

Tazzy, you are an inspiration. And I am a big fan of serenity. Thanks for the wise words.

No need to thank me. I've spent most of this week buried in PlantFiles editing, and only occasionally popped into the forums to keep up with the goings-on and keep the helpdesk under control.

I never saw the message; Dave and I never discussed it outside of this forum, and so I can't take any credit for his decision to remove it. Your appreciation should be directed solely to Dave for taking the time to go find it and remove it as a courtesy to you.

Setting up a deleted folder is still my standard recommendation for handling completed or unwanted correspondence.

Wasn't me, either. I haven't even seen it or desired to.

dave

So it just disappeared?

That's doubtful. I'm guessing it's being overlooked.

forgive my ignorance. I thought it was gone, but it's not.

Angel - from looking at the map I figure you are about 10 to 12 hours from me. So, grab any family handy ( two or four footed!), jump into the nearest set of wheels and head this way - supper will be ready tomorrow evening when you get here! You asked a question - you got an answer - now its time to eat a good home cooked meal with friends. I got plenty of room for friends and I love to share.

For me, this thread is closed, but my friendship with all of you is ongoing!
ginni

As my mother always used to advise me, "Watch your words" and I try to . . . most of the time LOL (I'm only human)

AngelSong is a very intelligent and nice person; I hope to meet her some day.

Speaking of cuss words, be careful of cutting and pasting articles. They may contain a word that doesn't belong on Dave's.

Why does anyone want to cuss anyway? I never saw the attraction. (I'm not a prude either.)

billy porter: In answer to your question of why anyone wants to cuss all I can think of is to show off their ignorance. Some folks feel a need to show off on some level and all they end up showing is their lack of command of the English language.

Lack of self restraint. ; )

I suppose some people think it's "cool" as well. I don't want that in my dmail.

If it happens, just tell them it's not acceptable to you.

Some people, myself included, don't see how words can be considered good or bad. It's particularly confusing when everyday words in one country are considered as swear/insulting words in another.

While I'm more than capable of comprehending and following society's idea of appropriate language, I will not apologise nor feel ashamed of using a full English vocabulary. I choose to tailor my language usage to suit various situations but dislike to be told I cannot ever swear, all anyone need do is ask that I don't swear in front of them and that's fine by me, anyone who respects you and your feelings would do so too. I don't see that written swear or "instead of" swear words have much use, it just makes the sentance more unwieldy and look strange to me but that's simply my opinion, it's up to the individual to choose how they express themselves, it's up to the recipient to tell them they don't like it.

I'm wondering though how many people here use "instead of" swear words like Dang and Heck or fake words like @�£@�£!�±@ because to me that is exactly the same as swearing. I know what you really mean to say, it's like putting a skirt on the grand piano in case the sight of it's legs inflame passions, we know the piano has legs under there.

You can tell me I use swear words because I lack an extensive vocabulary, am ignorant, have no restraint, like to show off or have little command of the English language but I probably won't share your view. This is not to say every second word I use is considered offensive to some of course but there are occasions where I find it very cathartic to emit an expletive.




This message was edited Sep 29, 2006 6:05 PM

Go Baa!

Most truthful comment I think I have seen..I think most everyone swears, cusses, call it what you want at some time or another.. I know I do.. I also try to pick my places and times and wouldn't want to insult anyone..

Larkie

Oh shoot.

Who has not used that or a similarly "innocent" expression at one time or another?

Baa, you've hit the nail on the head yet again. And yes, the last time I hit my thumb with a hammer, I did say, "Darn!" or something along those lines. :-)

Quoted

"I'm wondering though how many people here use "instead of" swear words like Dang and Heck or fake words like @£@£!±@ because to me that is exactly
the same as swearing. I know what you really mean to say, it's like putting a skirt on the grand piano in case the sight of it's legs inflame passions,
we know the piano has legs under there."

Amen!
~Elaine~

To be the devil's advocate (and I do swear on occasion, especially when I'm hurt), we as humans all have our private parts that we cover up with clothes. Everybody knows they are there, but we do cover them up in public (except where not prohibited as in nude beaches). I take it to be the same as cussing. Unless we KNOW that it is accepted in certain genres, I don't think it is our place to do it until we are asked not to.

Thanks :) I was wondering if I was the only one out there.

Pins, that's the whole point, it's about choice and as for covering nakedness, that's choice too. Too cold here most days to go without clothes but just a couple of years ago a naked man walked through the local town on a busy day as a statement that he preferred a no clothes option lifestyle. A whole 3 people complained and the newspaper blew it way out of proportion but at the end of the day it's only society's idea and the northerly climate that dictate he ought to wear clothes. We all make choices to fit in or oppose convention, that's the benefit of living in the free world.

I'm also trying to address the idea that someone who swears is ill educated, ignorant etc, swearing is not restricted to those who may fit that description.

This message was edited Sep 29, 2006 6:34 PM

Baa - my response was to the person offended by the mail she received and we'd both agree she has the right to request the person not use language that bothers her.

As for "other" words, sure I do call my computer names, I just don't use those words on people.... not aloud anyway!

Gone With the Wind's Rhett Butler wouldn't have had the same impact if his parting words were, "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a darn".

Amen Baa--and what some people feel are swear words are actually widely used in both business and private settings nowadays. And anybody whose out there in the real world knows this is so. And if folks don't like it, they really are free to go elsewhere where they don't have to hear them. But they may find themselves very alone.

LOL, ah yes, the well placed obscene or blasphemous turn of phrase does much to relieve the tensions of the day.

My mother was telling me about a friend of her's who, as Mom said, "Wouldn't say ---- if she had a mouth full of it." There is a time and place for just about any word I can think of, and I have a rather good vocabulary. I applaud Dave's right to keep the site family friendly and I acknowledge AngelSong's right to request that people sending her 'mail keep it clean. But I also assert my right to let 'er rip on the odd occasion. Ok, so not so odd, but I live in close proximity to large, ponderous mammals with chancy personalities.

This message was edited Sep 29, 2006 6:13 PM

methinksishouldstoprequestingstuff.....

Naw! I enjoy seeing all the opinions. :)

I never use descriptive words that are less than G in posts, so I never knew there was a RED message suggesting otherwise. How did you find out the that is what happens when that sort of word is used. Is it posted somewhere?

Baa, I agree with you on the fake cuss words. I think that myself. I'm not offended or bothered when people cuss while they are talking to me, I just never got in the habit of cussing myself. My brothers use the F word in every sentence and practically every other word. I think it must replace um. ; )

I have to be pretty mad or disgusted to cuss. I don't get that mad too often, but I'm guilty of letting a string go. I'm just usually alone.

Pirl, I totally agree with the ''Gone With The Wind'' phrase.

I think I mainly don't care to hear the F word used every few words. Maybe because the word itself sounds crude.

I had commented, but came back and erased it. Changed my mind. Will only say I don't ever swear. I don't like to hear it either.

This message was edited Sep 29, 2006 10:17 PM

Thanks billyporter and nap.

I wouldn't care if someone is offended by the fact I don't want them cursing around me! Luckily the times have been few and they were always strangers, never once family or friends.

Windy, I think there's a ''keep it clean'' sticky topping a forum. I never opened it because I try to keep it clean anyway.

Angel - you did no wrong....just opened up a lively discussion!

Personally, I think cussing has gotten rather boring of late. Folks used to swear with a larger, more colourful vocabulary than the standard few that pepper movie dialogues. I rather enjoyed the "jumpin' jehosiphats" and similar cussing of the sort Mark Twain wrote about. If you want to swear at me, make it interesting.
:-)

Double :-) :-)