You Know you're a gardener when....

Jeremy! No --- thank you! I know people must drive by my house and shake their heads in dis-belief when I'm doing what I love the most in heat/cold and inclement weather! I'm glad I'm not alone, However......I've not snagged anyones leaves/grass yet, I did ponder it though --- LOL!

I did - asked the wife, husb must have wondered where in the world it went, ha ha! Will be getting me some more too!! (after back is better!) ~ Suzi :)

You know you're........

When you get in the shower and look down there are grass blades, dead leaves, mulch, maybe some Osmicote, a couple of ants, etc.....

You Know you're a gardener when.... you fire a yard man for tieing back the limbs of a mimosa tree that is shading your Hostas. .....and pitching soil over into your raised bed ..... almost completely covering your young seedlings. grrrrrrr!
Sylvia

You know for sure, when it starts to rain hard, and you don't quit weeding because weeds are so much easier to pull out of wet soil, and you're already wet anyway, so why not....

Or when you go to the store for necessities, like milk and bread, spot a garden store sale, stop and buy some new friends, take them home, plant them. Still don't have milk or bread.

When you run out of the house in your sleep wear early in the a.m. shrieking curses at the rabbits or deer..........

You know you're a gardener when...

... you have a corporate meeting on Monday morning and your nails are so stained with dirt Sunday night that you have to paint them (as is the case with me tonight). I have one bottle of polish, and one bottle only. A very nice metalic "dirt" brown. Thank goodness for closed toe pumps - I hate painting my nails. :)

...you run outside in your t-shirt and undies at 5:30am when the sun is "just right" to take a picture and post it on DG. Thankfully the neighbors can't see our back yard.

You know you're a gardener when you have "nicknames" for your plants and they are either "male or female"!!!! I actually talk to mine; and they respond usually with blooms!
LOL :)--or thorns!!!

You know you are a gardener when.....

You prune your roses more often than you trim your toenails.

You have something you call a "native plant sanctuary" that most people would call a weed patch.

You are leaving a mega store through the garden section and notice that their pots of purslane are looking leggy, so you pinch off the ends and put it in your shirt pocket and justify your actions to yourself and to anyone with you that this is not pilfering, it is pruning and propagating, and it is in the best interest of the plant (and then you go home and start a whole new patch of purslane with the pinched off ends).

(Those quilty of the above sin of commission may say three agAVE Marias and receive immediate absolution, but only if the purslane grew.)

Jeremy

Pinching off a poor little hurting purslane......another thing I have'nt done yet --- Oh my , does that mean I'm not really a gardener? LOL!

No, momof2d, you are a gardener, just maybe one with more scruples than I have.

Anyone got any scruples to trade?

a: what is a scruple?

b: how many tomatoe plants can you get for one?

"When you run out of room and start planting in the neighbor's yard"- Been there done that and continuing to do that under the guise of cross pollination. I had no idea there was someone else out there doing it. I feel so... so... not alone any more.

Oh gosh,More laughs --- you guy's are great!

Well, I didn't run out of room, the garden just grew....On the south side of my house I have a partial shade garden do to the 5 fruit trees. The trees were planted on the lot line....I figured, 20 years ago, that the only thing bad is that the branches would hang onto the neighbors lawn...no biggie.....but then I decided to plant some stuff under the trees...(BTW I only have 6' on that side of the house..) Well, like everything else in FL it grew and grew and grew....In fact, that is where "The Award Winning Coleus" lives..
Not long ago, while in my study, which is on that side of the house, I could hear my neighbors plotting a fence.....my heart stopped...there would go my garden.....my garden-their garden...whatever!!!! Then I heard, but we can't hurt her garden....YES!!!!!!!!!!!! no fence was ever built....yipee... Close call there, guys...

Here's mine/our/their garden... I'm on the left....remember...I have 6'...Whoa.....a little over I would say....

Hap

My neighbor says that the more flowers I plant, the less grass she has to mow, and I should feel free to plant whatever I want! Good neighbor!

You know you're a gardener when.........

............when you turn up to teach English to a new group of banking executives carrying a smart briefcase, wearing a confident professional smile and.... your green rubber gardening clogs!!

You know you are a gardener when...

You won't let anyone mow your yard or do any other work in your garden because they can't tell which "weeds" are precious and which are not.

Right on Jeremy!!! For that matter, I'm not always sure either....just recently I went weeding only to discover a begonia with two little leaves no bigger than a dime...had my hand reaching and then I saw the angel wings...

PS...Here is the link and a new portrait....LOL

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/508902/

This message was edited Jun 27, 2005 1:12 PM

when you are outside weeding in the rain, taking pictures, all with your 2 1/2 year old along - who LOVEs to play in the garden with mommy when it rains! (She's already on her 3rd outfit! LOL!!!!)

Thanks, Hap, for sharing the pix of your newest arrival (assuming you haven't been out shopping for plants a dozen times since the seedling showed up --- LOL!)

I've had the same experience of my hand grasping a clump of weeds, and then quickly releasing and recoiling when I find that the weeds have some "volunteer" I was about to pull up by accident, or by being in too much of a rush (or continuing to pull weeds after nightfall when you can't tell what's a weed and what is not, as others have mentioned here). It is a heart-stopping, breath-gasping experience for me when I almost destroy one of those precious little garden gifts.

I'm off to the bank to try to get some money deposited before checks bounce --- another, "You know you are a gardener when..."

You suddenly find your financial situation has totally crumbled because you've been too preoccupied with the divine experience in the garden to pay attention to such mundane matters as how much money is in the bank.

One of the more serious side-effects or our addiction!

Jeremy

This message was edited Jun 27, 2005 1:34 PM

In reply to the query from Dyson, above:

______________________

a: what is a scruple?

b: how many tomatoe plants can you get for one?

______________________

I have composed the following essay on the definition of 'Scruples' :

‘Scruples’ is a rare cultivar of Moralis principium in the Family, Ethicus, according to my desk reference of botanical nomenclature.

It is an heirloom species, seldom seen in today’s world. It is found on the “Endangered” list in most areas, and may, in fact, be altogether extinct.

It has long been banned and strictly prohibited from being held or allowed to grow in Washington DC and other governmental centers. There, it is considered a highly invasive weed that can overtake and severely curtail the pulp produced by the political farming industry.

It is considered extremely addictive and dangerous, much more so than marijuana and other mind-altering plants. Once a person has indulged in growing or using ‘Scruples,’ they may never be able to recover from its effects. The use of ‘Scruples’ has been known to leave people completely ineffective and incapable of dealing with even the simplest tasks in our modern world. If you possess or use ‘Scruples,’ you must keep this fact a closely guarded secret. Otherwise, you will be at a distinct disadvantage in life, especially in matters of business (e.g., used car deals, prenuptial agreements, courtroom appearances, and contracts of any sort).

Fortunately, wherever it is found, ‘Scruples’ can be easily plucked out and replaced with the more chic and far more easily propagated species, Moralis turpitudinous. In today’s culture, society, and international trade relations, M. turpitudinous is generally considered to be of much greater utilitarian value than M. principium ‘Scruples.’ Anyone found with ‘Scruples’ today is likely to be ridiculed as being old-fashioned and foolish.

As far as how many tomatoes might one swap for ‘Scruples’? Why would anyone in their right mind trade a valuable fruit for such a devalued commodity?

________
copyright 06/27/2005 by Jeremy Lucas. Free to share, please contact the author prior to printed publication. (I do have some pretensions of being a "professional writer" on occasion) ;)

I LOVE it, Jeremy. Thanks!!!!

you save every plastic sprayer bottle.

wow...can I send it, can I send it....just to one friend....he would so enjoy this....Thanks

Sure thing, Hap. I don't mind my little Ben Franklinish essay being forwarded everywhere to friends, family, foes, congresspeople, etc. I am just reserving publication rights for any use by the media (as if they are going to be breaking down my door for a copy!) ;)

Pass it on!

Jeremy

...when your 3 yr old says "Mommy, your garden looks beautiful" just when he's about to get in big trouble for teasing his baby sister...and it works.

...when there's mud tracked from the back door to the computer desk from running in to look up a plant and when there's potting soil in the keyboard.

...when the most wonderful thing your DH can say after you've had a bad day is "why don't you go spend some time at the nursery and I'll stay with the kids."

When you tour daylily gardens, at full bloom and the temps are near 100!

.....when you have to leave your clothes at your daughters because you suitcase if full of coleus to bring home 1300 plane-miles..

LOL Hap. I bet Homeland Security is still trying to figure that out!

"Bulletin to Washington...send gardener for suitcase inspections to determine if material is illegal. We don't have a clue."

Pati

.....you are laughing so hard at this thread that you need to run to the bathroom.

....once in the bathroom you lean over to the magazine rack and pick up "Wayside Gardens" seed catalog from Spring 2001 which is lying next to "Park's Gardens" seed catalog, Fall 2003 and many others.

....your husband refers to those plant and seed catalogs as "Garden Porn"

....his slightest hint at throwing those catalogs away makes you run up to the bathroom to grab them and put them in a safer spot.

You are privileged to be on an exclusive guest list and invited to a posh party at an oceanfront mansion. Arriving at the party and overlooking the sea from the veranda, you notice a northeaster has blown in TONS of seaweed. You ask the hostess for some garbage bags, leave the party, and go to the beach to gather seaweed to use as mulch and compost (some of the best stuff ever for trace elements!) while the other party guests stare down from the deck above in disbelief.

Ha! You go to a barbecue and spot some really nice plants and ask if you can have some. You get told yes and surface to join the rest of the guests a few hours later.


This message was edited Apr 22, 2008 10:28 PM

Jax, I bet you were checking out the landscaping more than the beautiful interior of that mansion!

This thread is to funny!

Yep! bluegrass. Checking out the landscape and restraining myself from also leaving the party with a pocketful of "prunings" from plants I didn't have (but I was this time not willing to part with my 'Scruples').

There was a sign on the beach that said "$500 Fine for Disturbing Sea Oats." But the darn things looked like they could use a good scare to help them stimulate growth, so I lurched at them suddenly and made booga-boo faces at them. I was able to escape without the $500 fine.

Oh my gawd! I am not alone-

"so I lurched at them suddenly and made booga-boo faces at them. I was able to escape without the $500 fine"

The visual on that is too much for me. I need to go pee fast before I'm in trouble and the kids are standing here wanting to go to camp and I'm busy laughing at a computer monitor.

ROTFLMBO!!!!!! JFG you are a HOOT!!
Pati

Didn't I tell you, Jeremy??

You know you are an new aspiring gardener when....

You set your home page in your browser to Dave's garden....

You go into a farmer's coop and can't get enough of the smell

You sit in your backyard on your swing and just stare at your new garden with a tear in your eye

You coo at your plants when you see their first fruits beginning to form

You go outside everyday to take more pictures with your digital camera

You are buying every book you can on gardening to get tips for next year's garden

Welcome, noobiegardener... from an ex-maryland woman!