Best/Worse/What did I learn today?

We came from here...

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1266040

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1266040

Good morning, Prayers have been answere, what a spectacular morning, perfect weather!!

Was so nice waking this mornimg having Judy and Steve here..

We will shortly drive into Midland ( when Steve gets up). Lol

Then Judy and Steve will head out to Wasaga Beach, longest fresh wTer sandy beach in North America..they will spend time browsing and enjoying the sunshine, doing the tourist think..I will do a bit of groceries, need something that all can snack on that doesn't need cooking as everyone will be arriving at different times.

Then feet up, pace the driveway until the begin to arrive.

Hope all are enjoying sunshine..

Barb, is the family back home??

Waving to all

Morning everyone! Big Hugs to all from Texas! Enjoy your visit Betty!

Can someone d-mail me Bettys phone number...I put it somewhere....and I can't find it! Thanks

Never mind....got it!

This message was edited Jun 28, 2012 8:59 AM

Betty - I hear southern Ontario is supposed to get increasingly hot and glorious weather for the next week!!
Hugs, Hugs, Hugs to all!!

Just got a call from the Agency, and the client wants me to start work on Tues, not tomorrow, and - am I related to Linda MacKenzie?! Nope, not........... suppose that's someone that works there? dunno......... lol

Betty he doesn't have a job anymore, he got fired. He applied for unemployment and said he gets full pay again. I don't know what his family thinks, I know the people coming to the Family Reunion don't know about any of this because they're wanting me to bring my floaties and float in the lake with them. I feel like going because there is no telling what he's going to say about me, but then again do I really care?? His dad was just released from the hospital again, 8th heart attack in 3 months, Dave said last night he doesn't think he's going to make it to the 4th of July. His whole family is like this, I'm surprised it took this long for him to start acting this way as it's just in his blood. The things he's told our neighbors that isn't true is unreal. I can't care what his family thinks, and I can't care what my mom thinks either. As it turns out anything I bought after I got married is community property and it doesn't matter where the money came from, so to keep my inheritance I would have to never gotten married, which doesn't allow me to live my life the way I want to, and it ties me down. My mom said that's not being tied down but in my opinion it is, and if I want to get married I should be able to do that without having to worry about money, so yeah it's a bummer that he's going to get half of the equity in the house as that did come from my grandparents and he might get to keep the house while he's doing it, but on the other end of that spectrum the house is only 5 years old and the tile is already shot, the carpet is ok but not the best, the paint is coming off of the doors, and the walls are filthy and since it's flat paint it won't wash off without taking the paint off the walls as well. I can't take care of that full acre with the veggie garden and all, it's just too much for me, so I look at the good side of things and what I can accomplish by letting it go and yeah, just give me my $80,000 and I'll be perfectly fine, but I can't wait 30 - 45 days after we get the decree because I'll never the money.

What news on the home repairs Susan?

Bummer Crissy....but in the end, you will be free to do as you choose. Gotta count for something.

It's 97.1 degrees here today in Granville County, NC. My greenhouse is registering 112 degrees! I moved every last plant out to be under trees as "they" are predicting 105 for the next 2 or 3 days. The pots were actually hot to the touch. Scary!!!

Hi Stillwood!

I know, we've been having that heat for almost 2 weeks straight, it's horrible, the trees are starting to go dormant, the plants are getting sunburned, the only thing that's doing good is the okra lol!

Here too...even the tomatoes have stopped putting on blooms and the butterflies tend to hangout in the shade around the bird baths. Hot ,I say, It is hot. grin

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1268342/
Fairy and gnome swap is open for all those interested. Come and check it out.

Crissy - I think "letting go" is healthy, and you're obviously in a healthy frame of mind!
I know when I split from my ex (after 23 years) I sold the appliances to pay for the utilities ($400 didn't pay for much.......) and he & I split all the furnishings. To keep things logical, I kept the bedroom furniture, and he kept the living room furniture, etc. I moved in with our DD and she had a TV and all living room furniture. He wanted to have 1 end table from living room, and one nightstand. I told him he was nuts - why not use an end table AS a nightstand, and they would match. He went with my suggestion. I sure didn't want to have disconnected furniture styles!!. We were renting, so didn't have a home of our own.
I didn't claim for spousal support - what was the point of chasing him down for 6 months of the year (he's a truck driver, makes good $$ for 6 months, and may as well be unemployed in the winter as there's hardly any shipping...). I couldn't be bothered. He would never save during the good times, to cover the bad times.
To me, getting a divorce means you don't want to be with that person, and to have them as a major part of your financial life just didn't make sense to me - either financially, time-wise, or emotionally!

Susan that's exactly what I'm trying to do, we have two TV's, two 8 foot sofas, two beds, two bedroom sets, two dining tables, all he has to do is get his attorney to write up an offer to give to my attorney to buy me out of the house and he won't do it, says it's my responsibility. Here he is offering me $80,000 and it's my responsibility to write it up. That doesn't even make any sense! LOL

Susan, I could not hear you on Skype, make sure you have your speakers turned on!

Crissy, sure hope you can get things settled quickly and fairly! If he does not want to do the paper work, then you need go to your lawyer, and have him draw it up, I don't think Dave would like what they come up with!

woo hoo - going for lunch now, but just Had to say - talked to LK on Skype! my mic wasn't working all that well, but still - was great!

Your responsibility Crissy, cuz you asked for the divorce? My ex wanted me to pay for it too, but I was unemployed, so Legal Aid paid for it. He's unemployed, and didn't ask for it, so he figures "You pay!"
Not fair, but there it is.........

Anyway - time to go eat lunch. I'm trying to lose weight, not starve LOL

I agree with LK - Dave may not like what happens when he's not involved in getting things drawn up........ too bad, so sad!

LK I soooooo wish it was that easy! I didn't ask for the divorce, he told me we were going to get divorced. After two weeks of listening to him I decided that I needed to be the Plaintiff anyway so I went and filed, then he got mad because I filed. He wants me to do the paperwork and my attorney says we can't because I'm not offering him the $80,000. I can't write up that he's offering me $80,000. The person doing the offering has to write it up. He's trying to screw me is what he's doing, he wants me to get the decree then after that he's going to say that he can't get the loan. We will already be divorced and I'll be screwed.

oh geeze - Dave is really being a jerk..... trying to get you to put down his agreement, then he can say "I didn't say/agree to that!!! She's putting words in my mouth........"

Susan that's why it has to be in writing, he can't say he didn't agree when he signed the paper. He won't say I'm putting words in his mouth, he'll say he can't get the loan.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.................... ok Crissy - wish I were physically there!! If only to give you a big hug!

Crissy - try to get the agreement written up with a time limit. If it is not met (him paying you) he would forfeit the house!!!! He wouldn't like it but you need protection....

Barb there's a preliminary court date set for July 20th, so there is somewhat of a time limit already. Remember he lost his job so he may not be able to even get the loan now, which would mean I would try to buy him out but I don't make much money so I don't know what I would be able to get the loan for.

Is There still a mortgage outstanding?
You're in a better position to pay a mortgage, with you working.
Some banks (and more so likely in the states where I hear the banks are having to assume mortgages and they don't want to), are easy to talk to about helping someone buy out another person (especially if the Buy Out involves a person out of a job) and give the loan to the working person. You've been at this job a # of years, right? That sounds like an "ace in the hole" to me. Don't take it laying down, Crissy - fight the best fight on the 1st time around with the banks for a loan to buy him out. I learned the hard way that banks don't like multiple requests for a mortgage.
Then offer him the buy-out - being out of work he's likely to love the thought of "instant cash".
That is, IF you want to keep the house.......... it's your grandparent's legacy to you, but you also have some "Dave" memories associated with it.
Personally, I'd want to keep the house, and change the locks lol

No, the house is paid off. I've been at the job for 5 years but I only make $12.50 an hr, so I can't afford much. I don't really want to keep the house because it's too much to take care of with the acre, flowerbeds, veggie garden, 30 trees that need to be cut and removed, the tile in the house needs to be replaced, it needs new paint also, it's just too much for me to do, not to mention the property taxes for it. An acre is a nice chunk of land, it doesn't seem like it until you have it. lol

Crissy, the courts may ask you to sell the house and split the money. That is what they do here.

That's what will happen IF it goes to court.

oh yes....... I remember you'd said before about the 1 acre care vs 1/2 acre. On that point alone I can see, and of course the other renos that need doing in a "constant upkeep" of a larger home.......
You're being wonderfully practical, Crissy, and I can really appreciate that.

It's something that "time will tell" on, whether he caves closer to the Court date....... I hope he does, because it's "time" for both of you (you especially as you'd have to take time off from work). You may be able to sway the judge because it was family property, or he may get the judgement because it's community property, and "poor him - he's unemployed"...... It's hard to figure out which way a judgement would go. Sorry, playing "devil's advocate" here.......

That's ok Susan, I work with a bunch of attorneys and every one of them say it's 100% chance the judge, because of who it is, would say community property. My attorney says there's 90% chance he would say community property. I'm going with the community property judgement lol! If it's too much it's just too much, Dave said himself that he has a hard time taking care of it by himself. The house is only 1500sqft 3bd 2ba, so it's not big. I almost bought a 3000sqft house before I found this one and thought "Why? There's only two of us!" LOL

lol I live in a 960 sq ft home, and It's Not Enough!
In 'some' ways I envy you......... but NOT the divorce thingie....... nasty things those, even when you both get along as I did with my ex. He felt sorry for himself, but went along with whatever I said...... We just both wanted the pain to end (once he realized what pain there was - he was in a depression before, so went in further, but It Wasn't My Problem - he created it in the first place and he knew it!!) Gee, I sound heartless, but it's the bald truth. I had to start looking after myself instead of him all the time. I put myself on a mental "shelf" while looking after everyone else, so I learned to be selfish!
At least in this one instance.........

I have a huge problem with trust, half of what he says is the truth and half is a lie, and he switches between his truths and lies, and whenever he's nice I know I have to look out because he's planning something to stab me in the back with. Everything that has happened to him he has caused himself, and I'm sure he knows it as well, but he's such a know it all it's not even funny. When he doesn't know something he'll make something up to make himself sound smart, it's the stupidest thing I have ever seen. He would sound more intelligent if he just said he didn't know. Oh well, I care about him but I resist it because I can't care, I'm not in any position to care and if he doesn't quit farting around and making up crap and lying about everything we're going to end up selling the house and splitting the money and both of us are going to lose it, and I do care about that too, but again I can't, I have to keep my blinders on, that's it.

Crissy, why did he lose his job? I thought he was doing good?
Keep your guard up, and stay strong.

He's been losing it for a long time, he didn't get along with the boss, or the boss didn't get along with him, whichever lol.

Hi kids, your phantom poster here.
Last fall someone here helped me recycle my sisters artificial leg. It went to a Mexico hospital. Fast forward to this April when major garden masonry generated lots of refugees. A few Hens & Chicks got potted up in old sneakers. I've grown these for 55 years, they hardly ever bolt to seed, seriously almost never. Look at this, it's growing a new leg. It's the wrong leg but what are the odds of having the plant over the heel bolt rather than the arch or toe?
Andy P

That's precious !

Katie helped you. I love how folks are so helpful on Betty's Blog...

Can't wait to see what the Sistahs Gathering is up to ! They need to do hourly posts !

I would think the odds are slim to none.............. How nice that it happened this way.........

Yes, they should post hourly......
I never find them on Skype!

Andy, that is so cool!

Does anyone know about computers? My desktop is about to die! It is running super slow and I don't know what to do? It will load DG, and the other room, but that is it. It will not load my Google home page, Facebook, eBay.... With out waiting for at least 5 minutes. I have blown the dust out of the tower, I have run defragmentation, I have run my anti virus.... Nothing helps. My anti virus has picked up no virus of any kind.

SURPRISE!
Good Morning Everyone!

Hope this short note finds everyone well and having a good summer. I've been very busy. SIL is here helping go through the buildings. What a disaster. Talked with one auctioner and he'll do the tools and will have talk to a different one on household stuff. We had a dumpster brought out for metal and should be ready for that pick up Monday and get a couple more delivered. I will be so thankful when it is all over. Somedays is harder than others to let go of somethings but I need to stay realistic.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with everything that's going on in your lives, but just know that I think of you all often and wish the best for you all.

My DB and wife are coming up today and we will cook out later. Next weekend my SIL and I will go up and pick up the last of the stuff from my DM's and a few plants that I want. They sold the house so that will be the end of that.

Well, I better get going and will try to stop in now and then. Please take care all and best wishes to all and God Bless and keep you all safe and healthy. Love to all

Shirley

Good thoughts to you Shirley. I know how hard this must all be for you.Physically trying to get it done and mentally setting yourself to do it. Big Hugs and smiles for you. Do take care of yourself.

Linda Kay, try downloading the program Malware Bytes. It is a free program and it ferrets out all those bits and pieces that get tagged on your computer over time.The first time I ran it, it doubled the speed.

http://www.malwarebytes.org/products

So good to "see" you Shirley. Please take good care of you too!! We miss your posts and hope that soon things will settle down for you and you can join us here more often. We do understand what your life is like right now-we truly do and wish there were some way to help. Please know that we are still and always with you. You are always in our prayers.

Great to see you posting, Shirley!! Have missed you so much. I bless the day that you took the bit between your teeth and decided to 'meet' us. We're here to support you any way we can, and the Good Lord knows how we pray for you.

LK - another good site for an online virus scan is: http://housecall.trendmicro.com/
I once got a virus IN my virus program, and it couldn't "clean itself" but a site that cleans for you cannot get infected.
I suggest having both Jean's link and Trend Micro's in your favourites - can't Hoit to be covered 2 ways lol

oh, and I just noticed - Jean's link actually links to Trend Micro...... go figure, eh?

This message was edited Jun 30, 2012 8:23 AM