Best/Worse/What did I learn today?Chat with friends

Cross-posted.

Deb, you are between a rock and a hard place.

First things first - get some sleep girl!!!

Tomorrow we will discuss options like filling his room with industrial strength gelatin - for a start.

hugs, katie

Mary, and Deb...I have 3 boys..one was always less trouble than the other two, but he did have a few moments....the other two sent me to HELL and back again ..I don't know how many times !!!!

they are all doing good now....phew......29, 25, and 23 years old.... the years of 18 , 19, and 20 pretty much sucked!!!! with the 2 younger ones, 21 a little better, 22 even more..last year with the youngest has been much better...

of course now the 29 yr old jumps out of helicopters on a regular basis.....cause for a bit of stress on this Momma !!....... butttttt he loves his job, so I try not to let it get to me!!

spoke to the GD on skype today :) she sure can make me laugh!! she reminds me very much of her daddy :) a total bundle of energy.....no reason to walk, when running is so much better.

I spent a few hours yesterday, and a few more today ....cutting fabrics for the Christmas / Winter block swap... 16 blocks worth!!! will start sewing tomorrow :)

Hubby is on a plane, on his way out to the west coast, to visit his brothers. Three of them out there. I did not want to take more vacation, saving it to see my son when he comes home from deployment. besides it'll be good for him to have "boy time" !!! do think it would be kind of fun to be a fly on the wall though, when all four of them get together!! been a bit more than 10 yrs since that has occurred.

been awhile since we heard from Shirley, sure hope she is doing OK. and Dianne too....

think I will go hop around the net, look at some quilts, send some fb messages to the kids...etc.... got to wait till about 2 am for "safe landing" call from the hubs...good thing I am usually up at that time anyways...huh?!!!

hugs and well wishes to Y'all :)

awww Deb, I know exactly how you are feeling right now....been there.....
big big hugs to ya girl !!!
It probably won't be easy but try to get some sleep, got any tylenol pm ??? or something like that that might help ya get drowsy??!!! busy day tomorrow...think of us, as being by your side, holding your hand , or giving you hugs...whatever you need......

I have vicodin, which is from my shoulder surgery. I might take one, but I feel like I am so wide awake. I sat out on the front porch swing and just listened to the peace and quiet, felt the breeze...thought it would settle me down a bit.

Like the jello idea! A good smile...make sure it is lime green.

I think I will take a shower and try and relax.

Thank you all so very very much.....my major problem is I have to be Mom & Dad....and I am always the bad guy. But, I am not afraid to say NO...and I don't yell. Been there done that when I had my "Italian" marriage.

Hugs,
Debbie

Hello All !

Katie - I hate yelling too... the joke is that before "We" (DS and I) married Hubby (DH, DSD1 and DSD2) that dinners were so so quiet... and after... VERY LOUD... they are very loud people.... Yelling makes me feel sick...

I do believe that there are folks who have no drama in their lives but crave it... so they do what it takes to create it... (like maybe watch soap operas or create drama where it shouldn't exist)

I've had enough real drama to not need to add in as an 'extra' in my life... LOL.... "Filling the room with gelatin" NOW.. THAT is a creative answer ! LOVE IT !

Thunder - your post is a GODSEND... really you surely make me feel as though there is "Light at the end of the tunnel"... THANK YOU for your perspective... HUGS
Mary

Deb - I totally understand the sitting out and enjoying the breeze... I certainly do that from time to time... and understand the "Mom and Dad" thing...

Geeze the "steps" arent' even my own kids and I've had to be the "Bad Guy" with them as well...

Still reeling about the "August 13" "Party" DSD1 I found out... wanted to (not only have alcohol) but wanted to have 'Beer Pong"...

OMG>.. am I the only adult in this house? Then she tells DH (when he tells her no) that all her friends *hate* him and this is his opportunity to make it up to them? OMG !

So ... holy moly... and this weekend we are headed to her college for that play... I was so optimistic that this was such a good thing and our relationship was healing and then she pulls this crap..... OMG.. almost dont' want to go now... but have to... I've put $300 down on the B&B.......

go and enjoy the play Mary, don't let the "party issue" be a problem.....this is the play, that is the party if ya know what I mean.....and yea I know "easier said than done!" but worth a try...

I only allow alcohol if I am positive every one in attendance is over the legal age, and I collect all keys, the boys have had a few "card" nights, and computer game nights, where a few guys came over and spent the night, they came in with beers or drinks, and I told them "if you are having that...I get your keys and you stay the night!! or you can turn right around and go back out the door!!" they were surprised at first, but quickly agreed and gave me their keys.....now they all know if they are drinking here..they are staying here!!!

DH should tell her he does not need her friends to like him!!!! especially if that is what it would take !!
How old is this child?? and her friends???

Sorry I have no words of advice about teens. My oldest is 21 and had no problems with her.
Now the other 2 are still litlle and have a ways to go. But someone once said " you are not their friend you are the parent"
Kids sometimes do not think.....and so parents need to step in.
There is an age for each state for which a kid can drink. Not a parent rule but a LAW.
I think kids do not realize the things that can go wrong......It will never happen to me. Runs through there heads.

Ok all done.
Coffee is on.

Morning all, sunshine day here..worked in the gardens for an hour, wifi wasn't connecting so here I am with a wave, gab when I get to work

Good morning everyone,
I have been reading this thread off and on for a while now and some people I know from other threads (sewing and prayer) and I thought it is about time I introduce myself, now that things have slowed down a bit in my life.
My name is Thea, and I am originally from Germany. I met my husband in Germany (he was stationed there with Military) and I followed him to Canada in 1987. We have two children, a son 23 and a daughter 21 and we finally settled down in 1995(after moving every 4 years) in a tiny town about 40 minutes from the city (Ottawa). I enjoy gardening and anything crafty, but my new passion (or should I say addiction…lol) is quilting.
Because I have been reading off and on this thread I really feel like I already know most of you…like meeting old friends and this place seems such a friendly place where you laugh and cry WITH each other and share and care ABOUT each other. So I hope you don`t mind if I pull up a chair and join you on this thread.
One thing I am really excited about… hopefully meeting Barb and her DH soon!!!
Wishing you all a sunshine day and my thoughts and prayers are with Dianne, Bev and Shirley.
Love and Hugs
Thea
Enclosed picture was taken in my garden...our favorite place to read and relax (uhmmm hope you don`t mind the grubby garden clothes...lol)

Morning everyone!

Thea, so glad to spoke up, and joined the group! Love your reading spot! It looks so relaxing!

Laura, your quote, "But someone once said " you are not their friend you are the parent" is so true!
I went through that stage with my boys and I finally said if your going to act like that, don't bother coming home. No money or food from here. Well, my youngest one moved out for about a month, and realized his friend would not support him either, and that month was so hard to get through, as I had no idea where he was, or what he was doing. He came back with a lot better attitude. Sometimes you just need to have tough love, and tell them what the rules are or else!

Thea, good morning....and welcome! I love your picture...reminds me of "The Thoughtful Spot".

Last nights conversations WAS about the parent/friend repor...and that I was Mom. I can still have fun and all that...but when it comes to life and rules and all that, I am Mom first.

Funny thing happened last night....I went to bed close to 1:00. Not sure what time it was, I think around 2:00, I hear someone at my bedroom door "mom, I don't feel good...so Sam brought me home." OK, so....he isn't feeling good....but he came to Mom. Another interesting thing....and one of the reasons I wasn't worried about him being with Sam at his house. Sam is the "middle child" of seven kids. The dad is a retired Air Force Capt. and Mom a music teacher. SO....maybe....it was a good place for him to be.

Thanks all for your support and guidance, I have no one else....and do appreciate your input.

Busy day, leaving around 11:00 for doctors appointments with "The child". If you can spare a prayer for this...I would again be so greatful.

Debbie

That's good news, Debbie. One of the things I was wondering was whether he was safe when he stayed away and I'm glad you answered that.

Welcome, Thea. I'm fairly new here myself. Love your reading spot.

I slept very little last night. I feel OK but I think I'll go to town and get some sleeping pills to try to break this cycle of only sleeping every other night. It's been so hot here it's hard to do much work and that makes it hard to be worn out enough to sleep.

Papaya emzimes are sold as a digestive aid. It's soothing, especially when from a tree you grew from seed.

My biggest dragonfruit plant has blossoms #3 and #4 developing.

I need to finish something from my problem of the other day.

hugs, katie

Debbie, I couldn`t help but smile that your son came to you when he was sick.
I went through the exact same with my son a few years ago. Like you I was the Mother to a lot of teenagers...some came from pretty bad homes and we gave them a home and brought them back on their feet (all finished HS, got jobs and their own place). Well one day DS and I got into an arguement, blue words flying...ruined his life...you are a b... the works...and off he took to stay with a friend...I was crushed and furrious.
My DH sat me down seeing me going from crying to being all P...off and talked to me of why he thinks I was feeling the way I did (well first I was p...off at DH because I thought he was taking DS side...lol). Yes those words my DS said to me hurt pretty bad...but what my real issue was, that my DS left to be with "another" family...how dare he go and look for a "better" home like his friends did. It knicked my pride of being a good Mom and guess I was also worried what he would tell the people he was staying with.
Well he too didn`t last very long at the other place...lol...after he came back we sat down and had a good long talk...and we both applologized, hugged and cried.
Sadly there is no manual of how to raise your kids we can only try the best and hope for the best. Give them love, be a parent foremost but also be a friend they can turn to no matter what.
My Mom used to always say "This too shall pass" and it is so true. My son at 23 is now a pretty level headed young man and you will see Debbie in a few years you will be able to say the same about your son. They are all good kids, but the transition between teenager and being an adult is pretty though...they think they know it all because they are legally an adult, but yet they are lacking the life experience that we as older adults have. Just adds a few more grey hairs to your head...lol
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DD today Debbie and I hope you will get good results.
Lots of hugs and it will get all better
Thea
A sunflower for a sunny and happy day for everyone

Good morning, back and ready to chat!!!

Suzanne is on holidays and everything wrong that could go wrong has done so, found her at work this morning, Monday she had to drive to Toronto to work most of the day, yesterday had to work on some files..just NOT a good holiday...

Then Paul, my BIL boss came in and I had some dandy calls for him, he leaves Friday for 2 weeks down east and sure didn't want to deal with some issues so he was on/on/on, lucky he's much like his brother Roger when he gets excited so I just ignored his temper tantrums..lol

He's off to Toronto, said he'd drop in later, smilled to myself and thought don't do me any favors...lol..besides I need the boardroom to set out crochet squares which will take on the appearance of a quilt design..not mine, did enough last year but that dear mamma of mine has asked at least once a week if I had put it together yet soooo that will be my afternoon and tomorrow project!

But the sunshine (and there is much) that made today special was having a box arrive from Jaye for the Red/White/Blue 2011 swap..took photo's on the run this morning and had to post on the thread to show everyone just how blessed I am to not only be included in a USA swap but to have received such treasures...if you want to see, follow the smiles....

http://davesgarden.com/community/forums/t/1196692/

oooh going back to read

Last night Kyle dropped in for a visit, Ann and I played 't.v. bingo' while the 3 of us chatted up a storm, was outside for just a bit deadheading and by then in I came, no stopping, directly to bed so missed the night shift...gee, if I ever quit this job (did several times if only he'd take me serious) lol I'd get a job that is mid aft. to late evening that way I could chat with both shifts...

Hmmm checked the 2011 Kayak trip, Julie posted yesterday, she seemed tired and was scarred a few times re storm and white caps and don't see Jeff's post...hmmm shall I worry???


Now where are we..off to read..

Judy you are a woman of many talents..how did the caulking go on the tiles??? worse part of that job is getting out the old grout..bought a tool last year that did a zillion things, one had an adaptor blade to cut out old grout, would have made life easier if you had one....imagine Steve has all the tools to do so!

Barb, how did MickeyD lunch go..is it much like MacDonalds?

LindaKay, luckily the ipad doesn't have issues with virus's..how wonderful about the free ebooks on Katie's craft site..will have to check that out. Often I'm out and about and want to purchase craft /quilt/garden books but hate to pay the price..just maybe if I did some research they might be available by e-reader..thanks for the site Katie!

OMG this is so much easier, typing on office computer, on my right side I've got the ipad with same thread opening and just going down the list..so responding to everyone's posts is just made easy..usually always scrolling up/scrolling down...neat!!!

Best I do this in several posts..lately I've been losing posts into cyberspace

Katie, yesterday it was in high 90's, how is it today..LindaKay is often in near 110 then include humidity..surely it's not hotter than that is it? do you also get humity???
Glad you came in contact with your friend who had bladder surgery, you must now feel relieved.

Mary, tell Lance you need extra $$$ every week for Christmas shopping and see what he thinks of your garden friend for suggesting it..lol Ahhhh isn't it wonderful to be surprised in a good way?? Glad he found himself a job..regardless what it is, it's a job and one he got on his own.

Debbie, shaking my head, omg, as if you don't have enough on your plate that you have to deal with Shane and for the girls having a tiff, now you'll be worried about Britt and the baby ..know you have Dr's appts today but sure hope somewhere you can have a nap, you are running full speed on nerves right now..if things don't improve a breakdown you will have...sure do wish you had your extended drivers permit, oooh maybe you have it by now..I'd drive over and get you, maybe spending the long weekend with me so I could mother you might help relax you...

good mornin' everyone...
yes half the day gone for some of you !! but I usually don't get to bed till weee hours of the morning, as was the case last night / today.....(5am eastern)

Thea, very nice to see you pop in over here, come by more often...you are certainly more than welcome, sewing anything ?? very nice reading spot :)
"this too shall pass" my Nana said that along with "don't worry on the small stuff" I used to wonder..."how do you decide what is the small stuff??" still do wonder once in a while, but I think most of the time I know....one of the benefits of aging I guess......

Deb, hugs and prayers for you and the child today....

Cracks me up to hear that you wish you knew a policeman, my mom was a police officer and I knew the whole agency, it was great for her but sucked for me! Yes, that would be wonderful!!

Katie LOL no I don't think that I would kill your friend, but it would have been nice to know that she's doing fine!! I love and miss papaya!!! YUM!!!! LOL Gelatin!!! That's great!! If those people drive you to drink then don't go, if you don't think about it unless you're around them I would suggest staying away from them, unless you have a court order that requires you to go, then that's a little different, my dad went through that, then he went to jail, he Did learn his lesson, finally!

Mary who cares what kind of job, a job is a job and are very hard to come by these days, Kudos to him!!!!

Debbie Shane's coming around, especially coming home sick. I know this is hard and probably kind of ridiculous coming from someone who doesn't have kids, but if you at all possibly can just leave him alone when he leaves, he's a good kid just doesn't want to be in the house with all the drama. When I got my car when I turned 16 I quit coming home because I wanted to be 'on my own' so to speak, mom was a cop and never fought me about it, just as long as I was home by the time she got home from work when she worked swing shift, normally it was about midnight when she got home, it was all good. When she worked days I had to be home by 10, she got off work at 3pm. I never never never came home on the weekends, just let her know where I was and that I was ok. I must have stressed her out big time, funny what you think of when you're the age that your parent was at that time.

Thea!! So nice to meet you!!!! Glad you decided to grab a chair and sit with us!

Debbie maybe Shane and you both need time away from each other for a bit...thank goodness he called to let you know at least that he wouldn't be home for the night...he'll come to his senses, he's a good boy, just having growing pains, trying to find a place in the world where he thinks he fits in..I personally don't think it's right that if you have no rights as to where/what he does once he hits 18 that you should be responsble for him until he's 21..now that's just not right!!!
Have to check to see if it's the same here...

Katie, although I also find my life quite boring, I don't miss ANY drama..that's what I miss the least when I had step children..every hour/every day was filled with drama, you never knew what was coming or what the next call would bring...should be a happy in between do you not think.

Guess sometimes the drama is also caused for us not stepping up to the plate, saying enough is enough and thus some take advantage until you explode and put an end to it...I don't like hurting people and just recently a friend said something to me which I felt very odd, especially after supporting her for over a year..still in my head but I've chosen not to make an ordeal of it..not worth it..move on!!!

How young Katie is Tony and his wife???
I've an uncle who is in AA and he is there teaching almost every night in his or another community and says it's the best thing that ever came into his life, but I'm sure there are many who prefer to do it on their own, and if you can do it I think it shows you have a strong character.

I'm not a drinker myself, lordy, think I've been out of it maybe 4 times only because of circumstances, didn't like the headaches of the next day..I'm very social when I have a drink, one would think I can't get much more social but believe me I can...just ask New Orleans...venture to say half of everyone there has my telephone number/address and an invitation to visit..lol..

Guess if I found something really tasty I might have a few, but a few just about puts me out...
Disliked when I was young people saying I wasn't very social not having a drink..one can have a wonderful time without it!! Greg has never drank, everyone loves to go out with him because he's the designated driver..amazes me he has the patience of Jobe..waits till everyone has finished partying then dries them home..sometimes 3 or 4 trips an evening..

Thunder, you can be proud of your boys...just think Mary and Debbie aren't at that stage yet..we'll touch bases in another 10 years and bet neither recall having much problem with the boys...they all go through phazes.. Greg, honestly say I never ever had one bit of trouble with him..Jeff, no trouble but i could not stand his mouthing off..one day he did it, grabbed his arm, took him to the door and said 'out you go' when you learn how to speak and respect people you'll be welcome back into MY home...was 3 months before he came back..got to tell you, we never look back but it was one of the hardest things for me to do..I wanted to call him every single day but didn't...

Now when the 4 grandchildren come over, if I hear one disrespect their parents it's out you go..they are my sons, this is my home and if you have no respect..the door is there..omg one thanksgiving I sent Kyle on his way..no supper, think that night i cried like a baby for doing it, but now, if they aren't being respectful I just look at them and it stops...

Aren't I mean???

OMG Mary, that young lady sure is pulling out all the tricks to have hubby allow her to attend the party..shaking my head..now what a thing to say...how did Hubby take it.

Debbie, just read about you being Mom and Dad..that makes it even more difficult..Roger and I had an agreement which we never broke..we might have disagreed with each other as to the route we took with the boys but the boys never saw us argue about right or wrong way of approaching a problem with them..if one said something then that was LAW..doesn't take kids long to know how to play one against the other..heart goes out to you!

Crissy, that must have been difficult having a mom being a police officer..wouldn't be many times that you could pull the wool over her eyes..bet she knew every long story having heard them all!!!
Hard to know if you give kids more freedom as to if it will benefit them or are they the kind of child who would get into more trouble? Guess we all know our own kids...

Laura, I don't envy you having young kids..a different time in the world to be raising kids..having a 21 year old though probably has given you insight of what to expect and boys are so different than girls..don't you think boys are easier to raise than girls?

GOOD MORNING and WELCOME Thea, I love these girls to no end, cherish them more than some family members...lol..won't say who!!!

You've come to a thread that has such a diversity and yet the same at heart..between all of us we have a vast knowledge of gardening/quilting/crafting and life in general..always someone who is willing to help out..

Glad you are finished with lurking and have decided to become a friend..there is always a chair waiting.. OMG yes, Barb and Norm are stopping off in your neck of the woods shortly..I'll be so looking forward to photo' s and her excitement at having met you!

My son Jeff who is Kayaking in your neck of the woods wanted to make it to Ottawa but due to slowness in the many locks he was behind so on their way back..I so wanted to go pick up his truck in Kindston and drive it to Ottawa but they decided it was too much for me..gee whiz, could have brought you a tim horton coffee...perhaps another time..still haven't done a roadtrip with my little camper..one of these days....

Opened your photo and am waving..omg that's a lovely place to sit and relax..love that tree..from here your hubby looks like our Judy's hubby Steve...think it's his built, much the same...ahhh, looking at those muskoka chairs..yikes, give me a paintbrush, always looking for chairs to paint..are they from Canadian Tire???

You won't run off now will you??? love meeting new friends...

Ok, chatted and hopefully didn't miss anyone, few missing, out being busy/busy and a few feeling a bit down, know you are in our prayers and thoughts..

Bev, was out in the gardens early morning and took a few photo's..saw a lily hidding amongst the other plants..hmmmm those lily bugs must not have found it

Found this bee snacking

Sending you flowers

Phlox are about 3 weeks early..drats Barb, you had better fly in and have Norm pick you up otherwise all you will see of the gardens is plastic flowers I'll put here and there so you can see color..lol

Might print this one out in sepia and frame

Pink phlox..not sure why but my white ones and red ones just aren't blooming...oooh might be waiting till mid August, I can only hope..

Betty, go to a liquor store and ask for some peach schnapps, and buy some orange juice. Put a good shot of the peach schnapps in your OJ, and a few ice cubes. YUMMY! It is called a fuzzy navel.

Lydia, medicine lady who comes to paint at the house has a tendency of of throwing seed in my gardens that can be used for medicinal purposes..couldn't figure out what was overtaking 2 of the gardens...well it's comfrey...they get to be strong plants and I've about 20 of them so must move them over come fall..guess I've got to dig up another garden for all her stray plants..

Older generation gardeners tell you to take the leaves, put them in your potato patch when planting the potato and it will have nurishment beyond belief..don't plant potatoes so have to find another use..know she usually makes a salve..think I've got 3 containers already in my refrigerator, many uses...

here's a link..

Ohhh going to try that..I've had moonshine and pink lemonade..not going to tell you where I got the moonshine..lol..loved that drink..used to make a batch and take it boating...

Last year these were massive, guess the heat got to them..

Think I love phlox the best...

LindaKay are you trying to make me 'more social' lol

New phlox..not growing as tall as the others..needs about 2 more seasons to be spectacular

Ok, that pretty much is my pretties in my garden this morning...

So how about yours, have they survived the drought? so hope not.

Know some of you are sewing, some have the grandchildren..what else's going on now that I've posted like crazy I'd like to know how your day is going?

Dianne/Warren..sending prayers..you have no idea howmany times I think of you both..

Who me????

Yes you..laughing here, thinking when you are all here if I have a drink , Thunder will be painting my nails Red/White/Blue and you'll be doing a tatoo..lol

ohhh I think she should bring one of her boys, and everyone can get some ink!!!!! LOL

I did not get to bed until 5 am, slept a few hours, sent FB msgs to kids, and now I have to go to work..so I will be back later for the night shift....well probably after the night shift.....

beautiful flowers Betty, my red passionflower is blooming finally!! will post a pic after work...

What kind of tattoo would be nice on Betty?

if the choice was up to you what would it be..I'm almost afraid to ask..lol

A pink phlox on her boobie!

I just spit my water alll over the place!!!!! Crissy you are too much..........back later...