Philosophy 102

Congrats Judy! It is a wonderful feeling whenn you are able to extend your family with people that you are happy to call "Family" rather than "inlaws". I would choose a tree that reflects beauty in all seasons...flowers, form, and colors.

Welcome rebbeca. Feel free to join in with us at anytime. Now that we know you are there we will miss you. As you must know we talk about almost everything. Your tree sounds beautiful.

Hi Rebecca! Why lurk when you can join in the fun? (In case anyone doesn't know, Rebecca has a nursery there in Gold Beach and knows EVERYTHING about plants. She also has quite the way with words when she's of a mind.)

I have no philosophy to add today, having just returned from a wretched week in the Midwest. But it was odd how quickly I became homesick, which didn't sit well with my b'friend, who was part of the reason I was visiting Chicago. He couldn't figure out how you get homesick for a place you've only lived in for a few weeks.

But I'd be driving down the road in Kankakee, tying up loose ends, just thinking, "I hate it here. I hate these people, I hate these cornfields, I hate all this drinking, I hate this weather."

And today, here in this place, I am just the MOST contented person on the planet even though I'm on my way to the dentist!

And yet -- all those folks I left back in Kankakee would be comfortable nowhere else. Everyone & everything they've ever known is right there around them, for better or for worse.

Happy that you're happy with your decision, SK!!

Happy to hear you are"at home".

The ocean was soooooooo beautiful today, the calmest I've seen it.

Welcome Rebecca! Cool tree! Wish I had room for one.

Glad you are feeling at 'home', summerkid. The ocean is great anywhere. I can't imagine being landlocked in the midwest. It makes me shudder and want to go kiss my boat. Sad but true.

Hi, summerkid.

You're right about Kankakee being pretty wretched as far as IL towns go. But I really loved Chicago itself for the 5 years I lived there. I have to say I love this part ot the continent more, though!

I loved Chicago back in the early '90s. Now it's too big, too chaotic & too expensive. The sales tax alone is over 10%

I too loved the Midwest until I experienced the PacNW and then the flat, grey, brown, cold world of which I grew up became distant to me also.

Imagine the feelings of hopelessness & futility that come from growing up IN the PacNW and then being exiled to the flat grey brownness for almost 20 years.

Have I mentioned HOW HAPPY I AM TO BE HERE???

Ah, the cornfields of Indiana. I don't miss them either.l

I couldn't agree more about loving the PNW. I have lived here for almost two years and I feel like I have found my "place" in the world. For the past 10 days or so my daughter and I have been scouring the area for the perfect place for her wedding. She envisions a woodsy setting, cabins for guests, and camping for more guests. All with a place for 160 people to play and have dinner on white table cloths. Rustic and a bit dressy. Well, yesterday we found the perfect place. Loloma Lodge on the McKenzie River east of Eugene. Google it and check it out. So the plan is to rent the entire camp and lodge for Friday through Sunday and people will be in cabins and camping on the grounds and it will be like being at summer camp. Lots of relatives and friends. The main lodge and some other buildings are very old log cabin type - the lodge is amazing with the big stone fireplace and high ceilings. There will be games and river rafting on Friday afternoon and Saturday, then cocktails as the sun sets, then dinner on long heavy wooden rustic tables with white cloths and flowers. Little white lights strung in the trees. Big breakfast each morning. Can you think of a better way for two very large families to get to know each other? The setting is wonderful with huge pines and cedars and the river going past. We are very excited. Driving around that area just reinforced my love for the PNW. How lucky we all are to live here!

Summerkid, when you go all poetic about the PNW I understand. Sometimes it takes my breath away.

Just went to the Loloma Lodge web site. What a beautiful place. I will need to keep it in mind when my two daughters get married one day. The wedding photo's will be beautiful no doubt!

Wow!, Judi. Sound like a weekend right out of a fairy tale. Your daughter will be one very lucky bride!

Beahive - the whole wedding at Loloma will not be very expensive because we are having everyone pay for their own cabins or tent sites. I will keep you posted about how everything goes.

Thanks Judy...it will be great there and I hope you can post a few pictures after the event. Who knows...I had not planned to ever get married again after my first marriage disaster..but who knows..it is a pretty venue to have a celebration!! LOL!

I know what you mean about not planning to marry again - I feel the same. But it would be a great place for a family reunion!

Judi, are you divorced or a widow?

I feel like an innocent bystander of MY marriage.

I thought the same way after "2" failures and great losses of personal reasons for living. But #3 ,is and has been for 12 years of marriage, the best thing in my life. So I only want to say it can be good. No one should give up. The best thing I did is work on myself for over 12 years (and continue today) to inprove me. I think the rest falls into success.

SK I have been divorced for 13 years, after a 28-year marriage. The first 10 years were great, the next ten were good, and then downhill from there until I finally woke up one day and realized the downhill trend would continue - for many reasons. I like being single. SK how long were you married?

About 9 months.

Ha! If we are talking marriage well I'll tell stories. I've been married 4 times. Once for two weeks, then fifteen years, then 9 months, and now 26 years. This one is the best of all because he is a sweet person and always makes me laugh. We don't get mad at each other anymore, we just stare and start laughing.

Or as I say two legal affairs and two marriages!

I hope you're writing your life story, Patricia It sounds like there are some dramatic moments in there! Glad you saved the best for last - there's nothing so healing as a good laugh shared.

Long periods of boring and sudden flashes of panic. Not a very interesting story.

"Long periods of boring and sudden flashes of panic." Oh so familiar.

Willow, how in the world did you find 4 men worth marrying?

My parents have said that many times, but we children have all found magic in reliving the stories from their perspectives as people and not as our parents. Every decision and choice they made gave us insight into who they were then and are now. I'm sure your story is very interesting, though I'm sure that your could do without anymore flashes of panic these days.

You're an explorer as well as as survivor!

I read somewhere, maybe here, "Why buy the steer when you can get all the bull for free"

Funny, Lynn!

Check out this video.

This has always been my technique - I don't have self-discipline, so I can only get it done if I make it fun!

http://www.rolighetsteorin.se/en/

Lynn that's a great saying. I'm not buying any steer!
Katie59 - great video!

I think that's a takeoff on the old adage 'Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?'. I see that it's been turned around to reflect the times! Marriages in my life = 1. 27 years and still happily married. I like the idea of just staring at each other and then busting out laughing. That's what I'm going to shoot for from now on. We don't get mad at each other, but it would probably come in handy anyhow.

I'm on my second and final marriage. It's the second time around for Tracy, too. We reckon the first ones were practice, and now we've got it right. :)

My first husband and I were together for seven long, trouble-filled years.

Uh ... yeah, Pixie. That's why it's funny. Did that part sail right over yer head?

PORTLAND!! YOU MUST HAVE BEEN AN INFANT BRIDE!!!!! (oh, how creepy!! - oh gawd, I have to stop reading this Thomas Cromwell book!) I have always held you in mind as early 40's, but if that is the case, you were married at 2!

Hah Laurie! I'm almost 63. I would say I feel like I'm 40 but too often my body tells me otherwise. I was a young bride in my twenties but that is what we did way back then. As societal rules and norms for women of my generation changed and we women evolved to follow dreams of our own, many men did not accept the fact that their wives could take care of their families while pursuing their own personal goals. And that's the story of my marriage in a nutshell. I think that has all kinds of positive implications for the younger generation.

Thank goodness we no longer have to buy the cow or the steer to get a little nookie.

I thought steers` weren't interested or capable!

I have no idea about the definition or sex life of a steer! Regardless, it has been my experience that a lot of bull comes with them.

A few years after my divorce (hereafter known as D and marriage as M) my sister and I were sitting in a pub in Nevada City, California where she lived and we were making a list on a napkin of my wishes for a man. Each item was worth a certain amount of points and beginning at 100, if the man did not have that requirement the points were deducted from the 100. Things like "no gold chains" - "no pinkie rings" - "must be able to read more than the sports page" - "heterosexual" - I was not asking much. By the time we deducted points for non-hetero and a few other standards, then my wishes, we were at -12.

You guys are cruel. I think from my veteriary experience that you could be taken care of by sharing a bull. In the herd of elk next to my house, one bull, (happily) services over 40 cow elk and has time to watch sports at the same time. Bulls by nature enjoy the variety of cows and that is still true with many (not me) bulls in our society. So get yourselves a "kept" bull and share him. Just don't schedule him during Superbowl weekend or you will be "shorted" on the stick of opportunity. I for one believe strongly on the advantages, challenges and value of one heifer being my choice to chew cud with.

OK who wants to share a bull? I'll take him when the ice dancing competition is on.

Judi I never did find four men worth marrying^_^ Tried them out and found them lacking. Never wanted to stick around where I wasn't appreciated. This one told me the other night I looked like a sixteen year old beauty queen. I said, 'Thanks even if you are delusional." LOL He appreciates me.

A steer is a neutered bull.
I've had enough bull in my life. OH darn, I couldn't participate anyway.