Relationships forum interest?

Has it ever been requested? Would anybody be interested in one maybe?

I think it would be a good forum.

? Are you talking about a singles forum?

threegardeners, what is a relationship forum? I thought that was what i was doing everyday on the AV forum (lol)

Ackkk....not a singles forum!! A forum we could go to for advice about significant others, or family relationships, etc. NOT a dating forum!!

I'm not in a relationship - I'm married.

Whew, you scared me. The last thing we need on DG is a dating forum! LOL This one might need a more definitive title if it comes to pass.

I am a licensed family counselor and notice a growing lack of personal relationship within families these days. Much of this comes from our new form of communicating electronically, plus the addictive video games where kids don't have any interaction with real people. Despite all the benefits of the Internet, e-mail, text messaging, etc., we seem to be isolating ourselves from personal interaction and all that this entails. It has a powerful impact on family dynamics when members no longer sit together, share meals, converse, make eye contact, or hear verbal intonations.

This kind of forum would be interesting.

June

All very good points June. My wife and I are committed to have the family eat dinner together with no tv, etc. Our boys are still young but we will continue that. Luckily, my 9 year old has shown no interest in video games or cell phones yet.

Victorgardener - I hope you are able to continue that process with your boys. At some point, peer pressure really sets in for kids, so standards and routines put in place now have a better chance of surviving. The more input kids have into family activities, assignment of chores, knowledge of family finances, etc. the more they feel a sense of belonging and self-confidence. Their preferences don't have to win out, but it helps if they feel heard and valued. Works with adults too! ;-)

June

Maybe we can rename the Parenting forum "Family Matters" or something like that.

I think relationships go beyond parenting. We have relationships with co-workers, employers, relatives, in-laws and friends as well as immediate family, and they all intersect. Just a thought to consider.

Interesting.

June

I'd lurk. I need better social skills :) It would be nice to see other people talking plainly about what is going on in their life and how they are handling it. I'm in the nursing program and it's sad, but I think learning how to be a member of a team is what is going to be the hardest part for me. Reading how people feel about situations would help me understand others better.

I may have mixed feelings about such a forum but then, I don't necessarily have to post on any forum.

To me, the greatest risk for this forum is that many people (people that you would never guess had big medical problems relating to mental health issues) need to seek professional help and even trained DGes don't have answers for these people. The only people who could help would be medical doctors sitting face to face with the individual.

I sought help for years through trained people with a Masters in Social Work and even PhD's. They simply did not have the skills to recognize that I needed to be seen by an MD.

We would have to let this forum just be, like Hyblaean is talking about, a place to say how we, individually, would handle a social, work or family situation. There would be no place on a forum like this for 'advice' from anyone.

I think it could be a great forum just to see how others would react to a similar set of facts. I, too, will be waiting for an answer on how to be a contributing member of a team as I have always like to work with someone just giving me a big job and then letting me do it by myself???????????? Committee meetings, to me, are the biggest waste of time there is.

smiling at you, June! That is why I need to learn how to be part of a group. I admit I am a medicare person who has attended the last church meeting ever!

I belong to a big prison ministry with lots of churches involved. After the 10th meeting in a year, I just held up my hand and said, "No more meetings for me. I will deliver twice a year the 1200 flower stems needed for each event and I will write no more than 20 prisoners. That is all I am willing to do". I am having a great time doing this and don't have to go to one meeting every again. (LOL)

I'm just talking general help, advice maybe, but sometimes just running a situation by a third party helps one think. Like what to do about my soon to be ex best friend who insists on stopping by with her 4 bratty grand children, and DH, who I am afraid is going to be gone some day when I come home, and someone out there might be having trouble with a co worker. I have seen here at DG many times, someone post a problem and enough kind DG'ers have said to seek professional help and the person has.

hmmm...224 views and only 15 replies, looks like it ain't gonna happen!!!

You are too funny , threegardeners! Give people time to post. This forum would have to be a little personal and people just aren't jumping in yet.

True...I'd be, myself, more comfortable sharing problems with a person I know I'll likely never meet than with someone I see on a daily basis. Less chance of it getting back to the person I'm having a problem with too...LOL

The idea sounds right but the title, is that the dilemma then?

I like the idea of a soundingboard to run by your issues with those in your life to gain feedback, support, suggestions, etc.....

A name....a name....

If I may offer a suggestion, why not call it something along the lines of.....
Outsiders Opinions Wanted...
I thought of this because in reality that is what you are asking for, the opinion of an outsider that has no ties to a situation and will be less bias.

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!
Beckie

That is a great title for a forum!

Just Opinions might work. But then it doesn't narrow down for what. Many a thread in many forums are to seek opinions though. Hmm.

Could always go outschool and use the TV show title: Family Ties and just let that engulf more in thread topics?

How funny! I was just going to suggest this kind of a forum. When I have a real problem with something, I see a therapist who has been a real help to me. I don't see her regularly and haven't been in a couple of years. But sometimes just talking about a problem with friends really helps. You never know what one bit of advice that seems so natural to you may really help another with some similar situation with which they are dealing. I wouldn't want it to have to do with only family relationships, but all of them. People you work with, meet in public etc. Just getting along in general.

This message was edited Jan 20, 2008 9:03 AM

Exactly!!

Maybe we could call the forum "Sounding Board"?

that sounds good!~

Since there is an explanation at the top of each forum, it really won't matter a lot what it is called? Right? So any of the suggested names could work well?

It probably does matter what it's called. I notice so much bloat taking place in many threads where posts drift so far off topic that the thread just becomes confusing to anyone stopping in. The thread starts off about one specific subject, and before you know it people are inserting pictures of their pets, and talking about their sciatica, the cost of gasoline and how they can't sleep at night. ;-) I've unwatched a number of threads recently because they had lost focus.

Just something to think about.

June

That is true, but I don't think you can stop that kind of thing? I always feel like if I want to go off topic I should just dmail the poster. But it seems that most don't think that way. Since you are a counselor, I bet you could come up with a good, descriptive name for it? Of course no matter what it is named, people can always take everything a dozen different ways.

June, *amen to that!* I have unwatched my own threads at times because things get so off-topic, with questions still raised on my original post that I'm left unsatisfied. Initially it didn't bother me....some say it'd get "boring" otherwise, but I say---if you have that much great info to share---start a thread! :)

Cactus, that is so sweet of you to dmail the poster. :)

If it were my thread and people had brought it off topic like that before I got what I needed, I'd just post reminding people what it was that I still wanted to know. That ought to get things back on track. I don't think people usually drift off course on purpose, it just happens sometimes but all you need is one person to remind everyone what the original discussion was supposed to be about, and people will generally follow along.

Sure it just happens sometimes, but there is no good excuse for it. I've wanted to be that "reminder" person, but I usually "unwatch" instead because I don't want to sound rude.

same here, even if your own thread, sigh.

Hey, I think we just got way off topic??!! LOL! ; ) I sometimes do just post with an answer that gets it back to what the original question is. I was thinking about starting a topic to discuss the book "The Four Agreements" It is a self help type book, that really helped me when I first read it. And would a be the perfect topic to have on a Relationships Forum. I guess I could also look for a book forum?

If the thread you have started has gone off topic, (such as this one has), and you still have not received the advice you were looking for the best thing to do in my opinion would be to speak up.
All you need to do is say something along the lines of; 'Hey, this is all very interesting, but I am still wondering about ????'. or you could be imaginative and go 'Hey you guys! I'm still here and still need answers, although I am enjoying the present conversation!'

What if you're not enjoying the present conversation?? Sometimes cliques take over a thread, even an entire forum.

I like "Sounding Board" for a title. Sort of like a "Dear Abby" blog where everybody can chime in. But I'd have to change my handle to "anonymous". lol

Oh my, we DID get off topic. My apologies.

LOL rev, we'd all want to be anonymous wouldn't we, LOL!

Sorry, I'm against it. There are already more than enough forums with nothing to do with gardening. "For Gardeners, By Gardeners" does not, in my opinion mean starting something akin to Ann Landers.

That's true, many forums and nothing to do with gardening. But, likewise, there are many many forums just for gardening. :)

And it sure is nice that we never have to leave here for anything.