Question about our departed members

Dave, Today would have been djm906's birthday. Our dear Doris passed away in April....and she is missed by so many. Her name came up on the list as having a birthday, which is a great way to remember.......but please, please, please is there anyway to put a flower or something next to someone's name when they pass away.

I know I read a post today that said Happy Birthday to her and hoped she was enjoying her day with family and friends. This is clearly someone that doesn't know she passed on and I'm sure this person will feel bad when they realize it.

Others have expressed a desire to have some kind of icon next to our members that have passed away also.

Is there anyway to do this and then on any of their posts that they had made, the icon would be there also?

I know it may be a lot to ask, but I think it will save some grief among the members.....we are like family here and my heart breaks everytime I think of the ones we've lost.

Thank you and blessings,
Kathy

Kathy...I have to agree with you...I knew her BD was coming up just after mine....as we always exchanged greetings....and insults...LOL

I was thinking of the ones that didn't know that she had passed away and would make the mistake of sending out BD greetings for her....and others that we now miss too. Jo

Oh I am so sorry about this..After..her passing..RR...did tell me..but..I had forgotten..about it..and then today..I posted..So sad...I am sorry ..

Diana...

Diana,
No harm done....but it proves my point. Big hugs,
Kathy

I agree, it would be nice to know. For the birthdays for sure, but also sometimes people resurrect threads from a year or so in the past, asking the person who started the thread what ended up happening with their plant or things like that, and if the person has passed away it would be nice to know that.

More than once, I have commented on older PlantFiles pictures, only to learn that the member had passed away.

I agree with and support the above sentiments. It would be a pleasant way to honor the memory of those past, too, besides saving the extra effort required (by those that knew the late member) to notify posters that the member is no longer with us.

I agree with all of you that a small icon of some sort would be a wonderful addition. But, reading this thread I couldn't help but wonder at how "evolved" this must seem to Dave. From a simple seed trading site to now designating a symbol to represent dear passed subscribers....talk about mind boggleing!

Thanks, for posting this question Kathy. Thank you everyone who posted such wonderful memories on the memory garden forum.

I know mom's subscription goes until early next year, and I was considering continuing it, at least for a while, so this may come up again for her. She was so proud of the fact that she joined DG while it was still in it's infancy, and was very upset last fall when her subscription ran out. She didn't want to 'just be a member", she wanted to be a subscriber, whether or not she was able to use the subscription at the time. I was unemployed then and couldn't cover the cost, but the Garden Angels stepped in and gave her a year's subscription, when for a time, we thought she would be able to come home.

One of the most thrilling moments she had was when she called a contact number for DG, (I think she was trying to get a t-shirt and had a question) and Dave had answered the phone!! I don't know how many times I heard that story!! That just made her day! So, knowing how important it was to her, to be a subscriber, as long as I am able, I may let her subscription continue. (I realize that this may sound like a silly thing to do, but right now there are a lot of her things that we are continuing, because we're just not ready to let go)

Deb

Deb, Just remember one thing. Your Mom is memorialized in the Memory Garden and all the posts she has made on DG will always be here. I think of her often, as she was one heck of a sweet lady.....just imagining what heaven must be like with her there :) You can always remind us of her birthday through the Memory Garden, without going through the expense to you.

Blessings,
Kathy

Great ideas, all. I think it's a wonderful way to honor them.

Dave,
Any reply on this? Can it be done?
:) Kathy

Dave, I agree with these folks. Something needs to be noted, somehow. Please?

Couldn't something similar to the Über go next to their names, like "fondly remembered"? I know how distressing it was for customers when they'd get phone calls from my previous employer for deceased family members. We didn't have any way of knowing until they told us, and they often told us in tears. I'm sure some gentle reminder would be appreciated by family members, plus it would let others know why their posts or Dmails go unanswered.

How about a butterfly icon next to the name? It is symbolic.

We've talked about this before...and I think a forget-me-not was the symbol we settled on ;o)

Sorry, I entered this discussion late. My apologies.

No need to apologize - a butterfly is also a good idea ;o)

I know this is something that has been on Dave's to-do for quite a while, but since there have been other, more urgent matters to tend to - and he's only one guy, with one head and two hands - I think it's a matter of prioritizing it somewhere on that long list o' things to do. Too bad he can't sprout a few more heads and pairs of hands, huh?

Just came across this thread. What a nice idea to have a little image of a "forget me not" flower next to the name of members who have moved on to Heaven's Garden. Seeing the little image will let us all know that the person is no longer with us, but their memory will remain.

I love that idea, too!

But please include an explanation somewhere, just as there is for "uber."

I think if it's repeated on their member page, with their date (or at least year) of passing, that would suffice.

Terry,
Yes, I remember us talking about it a few years ago when we started the Memory Garden. Can we get it implimented? :) Dave, I know you're very busy these days, but if there is anyway to prioritize this, I know it would be appreciated.

I just can't imagine the feeling a loved one, that is also a DGer, would have when they read a happy birthday to their loved one, dearly departed....telling them to have a wonderful day.

I think a butterfly or forget-me-not would be awesome.

Thanks for working on this Dave....we'll be anxious to see what you come up with.

Blessings,
Kathy

edited to say:
On the top of the Memory Garden forum, the butterly or forget-me-not could be place with a short explanation, or even on the Memory Garden Forum title.

This message was edited Sep 19, 2007 11:09 AM

I'd be glad to come up with some web-friendly graphics for you similar in size to the Admin and Über graphics.

GW, I wonder if an icon on the people that moderate the Memory Garden would be a good idea, as well; like the Uber and Admin. Many don't know who to go to even though it's at the top of the Memory Garden forum.

Well, I'm not going to push my luck...I'll be grateful to get the icons for the dearly departed.

edited to say the moderators of Memory Garden are MistyMeadows and JoanJ. Either one of us can be written to if you know of a DGer that has passed away.

:) Kathy

This message was edited Sep 19, 2007 12:20 PM

MistyMeadows said:
I just can't imagine the feeling a loved one, that is also a DGer, would have when they read a happy birthday to their loved one, dearly departed....telling them to have a wonderful day.

Kathy,
I can tell you, for me, I had actually thought of posting a Happy Birthday to my mom. It didn't bother me in the least that someone had posted wishing her a lovely day, and I am so happy that so many posted their remembrances on the memory gardens thread for her, too. Maybe I'm just odd, but I would rather see a well wisher innocently posting on her birthday, than having many steer clear, not quite knowing what to say, or feel that is in inappropriate to post, and saying nothing. It's still her birthday, whether or not she is still with us.

Just my opinion,

Deb

Deb .... I totally agree with you! My Dear Mom has been gone 2 1/2 years and every year on May 3rd, I look skyward and wish her a Happy Birthday in heaven!

Hello Deb...Hope you are doing well. I am so glad that so many remembered your Mom's birthday as well.

For myself, the fact that people were so kind would touch me tremendously while other well meaning words would tear me up. I too, wish my father a happy birthday and tell him I'm thinking of him and remembering all the wonderful times we had together. But if I read something about him having a wonderful day with his family and eating cake and doing all kinds of fun things, I'd just cry my heart out. I guess we all handle grief differently .

I think of your Mom often, she was one sweet lady.

Blessings,
Kathy

I like the idea of the forget-me-not icon. If a brief explanation that the member had passed appeared when the mouse hovered over the icon (like the 'joined/subscriber' information that appears when hovering over a member's name) it would eliminate any confusion about the meaning of the icon.

Just found this thread when the question came to mind, Claypa
directed me this way.

I, too, favor a little icon of some sort, the Forget me Not being quite
a good choice.

Very nice thought indeed.

Karen Marie

Hi everyone...I have a question...????? I post the Birthday forum every morning...A list shows up...as those that have a Birthday for that day. Well...if a icon was there...I would see it..but..if it was just a name on the list...I would not see it.. I do not go to each..'.es page..to check this..maybe I should just go to the memorial page..and copy it...print it out...no problem with that..and maybe make a special..post..when I post the birthday forum...to include...something about their birthday...being that day...Any idea's about that? LMK>>>>>

Smiles..Diana

Diana, that would be your choice of course, probably good for you so as not to put you in a predictament. I'm hoping that we can get a response from Dave soon about an icon; I've not heard anything from him :( Thankfully, we don't have a lot of names on the memory garden list, printing it out would be good for you.

Blessings,
Kathy

Kathy,

That is a great idea. :-)

KM

I think Terry said a few days ago that this is on Dave's to do list, but since the list is a million miles long and there's only one of him it may be a little while before he's able to get to it.

Trish asked me to see if I could move this to the top of my list, so here I am. :)

I'm going to get our graphics guy to make us a nice button that we can display on the member page of our departed members. Do we also want a smaller button that would display under their username from old forum posts?

What do we want the button to say, exactly? And Forget-my-not is the flower of choice?

dave

Forget-me-nots sounds like a great idea! Do we need any text?

Yes, a smaller button that would display under their username on old forum posts would be really good!

A forget-me-not does seem to be the flower of choice. Sounds good to me!

I think text in addition to the forget-me-not might make the symbol a lot more self-explanatory. Otherwise, you might have a lot of people asking about the flower symbol and feeling uncomfortable for not realizing the person whose name it was under was no longer with us.

But now I'm trying to think of what that text should be... "Deceased Subscriber" for example sounds a little harsh... maybe just a simple "Departed" would work... ??

What about a little angel with a flowering can? Something along that line would give me a clue pretty quickly. Hm, as an elder I think I would like that. ;~)

Dave, A thousand thank yous for taking care of this, big hugs to Trish for the gentle nudge :) I think that a forget-me-not would be good, but do most people know what a forget-me-not is? I still think it's good with the flower somewhere (perhaps at the top of the Memory Garden) with an explanation and definitely under their username on old posts.

If we could get a forget-me-not what about words underneath "Gone, but not forgotten" I had thought perhaps "In God's Garden now" but then some might be offended. Or what about "Forever Gardening"

I definitely think the icon should be under their username.

:) Kathy

We might want to avoid using an overtly religious symbol. I'm not generally one to err on the side of being overly PC, but if the departed member was Hindu or even atheist, then marking their name with an angel might not be appropriate. I personally like the image, but I'm trying to think of the "what if" scenarios because we don't want to stress out somebody who is grieving already.

Would "In Memorium" be an appropriate text under a forget-me-not bloom?

I like that! Gentle, compassionate and simple. Just my 2 cents.

Cross-posting! :-)

I did think of "Gone but not forgotten" but I wondered if that was too lengthy a text for a little button icon.

And I do think some sort of text would be good, because I don't think a forget-me-not is as instantly recognizable as, say, a daisy. (And while a daisy might get the meaning across, some people might not be amused by the flippancy of the reference.)