Opinions VS courtesy and consideration

:)

good.

Dang!

Someone should invent a remote control that one could point at someone or something and just hit the button to make that item or person disappear! But, then I would probably end up in a very bare house with no husband, or pets at some point! LOL. ...... or maybe I could point it at myself and zap myself away .... aaaah to an island in the pacific maybe!

:)

I just want one with a pause button. It would be wonderful to have about 12 more hours in a day. 24 in some :)

Hey, if we are wish listing here - I want Undo, like on my computer. Undo the last X #of decisions I made, words I spoke, attitudes I embellished. Scheesch - that would be nice.

Oh yeah, that feature would be fabulous!!

Great idea's y'all ... a Pause Button, an Undo/Erase Button, and a Vacation Button!

...... Now we just need a Genius Sceintist to make it happen!

They are trying very hard to manufacture people now. Will never work because they can't invent a "soul".

♫♪oh Dave♫♪ We have another request for ya
I think our species seems to have reproducing itself down.

Does that mean a possible new Forum?

Please no more new forums. I am so confused and miss so many of my friends because it takes to much time to go looking for them in so many different forums these days. Back when the topics were broader I developed many new and exciting plant interests because I heard about them in a generalized forum like tropicals. Nowadays each plant seems to have their own forum and my horizons are not as broad. I am not likely to open a forum for a plant I know nothing about without a bit of incentive (i.e. curiosity).

Naw, just a new wish list thread. What do you want Dave to program into the universal remote control?
That is a good point Ardesia. I was never here for the more general type forums, but I can imagine that they were alot of fun.

I too, am always dismayed at some of the spats that pop up in the various forums.

I do agree though, that since we are limited to words in type, with NO inflection control, that this is how things get carried away.

Private d mails between "feuding members" does seem like a better way to resolve issues.

I still think this is the best website out there!!!

Ardisia: What about that new feature of My Friends & Group? Where you can add friends to "your" group? I haven't really played around with it yet but am wondering if we have a group of friends there we could keep better track? Has anyone used that new Friends/Group feature yet?

I agree with JasperDale ... this is the BEST website!

There is good control here compared to some other forums. I think the policy of not talking about current affairs is a good one.

Oh, I DO think DG is the best gardening website ever. But when I focus entirely on a specific plant I get tunnel vision and don't see the forest for the trees. I used tropicals for an example. Learning about a number of different plants in one forum really opened my eyes to things I would not have known about. Now I have to go to at least a half dozen sites to learn about the same things. Personally, I am less likely to take the time to do that.

Now, I did not mean to hijack this thread and I sincerely apologise to Balvenie and you all for doing that.
alice

:) Ardesia .... I think a lot of us hijacked Balvenie's thread!

Having been on DG about two years now....I thought the hijacking (conversational style) was what we were supposed to do. lol Really like it that way because so many great things come up and we really would be lost if a new thread started on every single new idea/subject.

Love you all.

I agree Lou ... and I learn so much from so many every time I log on to DG!

My thread had a specific point, which has been subverted, diverted, converted and inverted. Ain't that what is supposed to happen? Opening a dialog which elicits a variety of perspectives and leads down a plethora of paths, or is it pathways?, is so much better than than having a root canal, or even an irrigation canal. Have at it folks, but remember courtesy and consideration are contagious.

Soooo true .... wonder why some don't "catch" the courtesy bug at times? I guess there are some who just thrive on controversy. I was on one thread recently where one person with a very negative personality just would not give up .... kept antagonizing and egging on a couple of other folks. Just like in real life, there are Bullies on-line too. It is not enjoyable for others on a forum when you get someone like that that who just keeps on and on with the negative vibes. In my opinion it's just a lot of wasted energy.

Thank you again Balvenie for this thread and this topic of conversation!

Conversation is a wonderful thing when one is free to express themselves without fear of retaliation. Our freedom of speech is something many cultures would love to have. Being nice isn't too much of a price to pay. Oops, just fell off my soapbox, sorry.

Ummmm, hello? That's why there is a "Contact Us" button. Note the post number, ask DG's admin if s/he agrees that the conversation has turned flaming, political or just distasteful, and let them sort it out.

I am not embarassed to say that is the way I now do it. Keeps me out of the fray and the admin can decide if I'm overly sensitive or if the post needs to go away. After a while, enough attention on the same member as being hot and controversial, or raunchy and bad mannered, the situation will take care of itself.

The admin simply cannot police the entire forum. Some will call me a 'spy', that's alright, I come here for companionship and cheer and I think others do too. I have not complained to admin often (2 or 3 x's) but simply stated, I will occassionally point out something that strikes me wrong, I don't come here for controversial conversations, raunchy posts that go beyond an off-color joke or a rehash of some tragic current event. I'm lucky if I get through the week at work unscathed.

Mary, off to get her flame retardant suit out of mothballs [since she no longer 'gets involved' in controversy, she does not need it nearly as often].

LOL Mary! Cute! It is a shame that some of us need those flame retardant suits, isn't it? I say that some day I will be in a place where everyone gets along but I guess it would be a very boring world we live in if everyone had the same exact outlook on things. When I come across a thread like the one I was referring to above, I just have to chuckle to myself. If I ever saw anything getting really out of hand, I would contact Admin. to have them take a look. But, it really makes me a bit "wonder" about the person who is the bully and what their life must be like to make them that way!

I think that is a very good policy Mary. The Admin certainly is not in a position to monitor everything and does, I presume, appreciate some input from the membership. What is offensive to one is rarely offensive to all, and I trust Dave's integrity and character to make the proper decision. Alternatively (is that a word?) rather than comment on a thread which is too 'controversial', in my opinion, I simply move to another of the 200 plus forums. Any way of avoiding antagonism will work. Perhaps I've run this thread into the ground. If so, I apologize.

I don't think this was a wasted thread at all.........but it is time for a natural death to it (LOL)............I have only 1 time brought something to Terry's attention..............they have so much to do that everyone turning in complaints on a forum takes a lot of their time.........surely we can all apologize or gets things right before we leave the conversation..............or just go to another forum...................

I know people outside of DG who don't just bully ,I mean there are no holds barred. I understand getting angry but I am talking about going the extra mile to dig and twist the knife deeper once put in someones back all the while saying the most horrible things that could come out of anyones mouth.
I always say you catch a whole lot more flies with sugar.

Now some it may not work but I try being more sweet. Most of the time it soften the other person and they talk in a nicer manner. Your right we don't know what may have just happened like a checker and a customer situation or someone on the other side of the moniter but a little over kindness can something be what is needed for them and possible for them to have an even better day.

But I am not saying that the one like the knife twister, tongue lasher anything would work on. I know because they are a relative and it only fuels the fire. When he delivers a blow and I don't react he will keep going till I am in tears and that is what it was all about. Deeply hurting someone I guess to feel superior? I am
glad I don't understand because if I did
I am afraid you have to be one to understand
one. I am happy to be the one that like to build people up like all of you are on hear. And if I ever sound off in any way just ask me how I meant it. I would rather that than hurt anyone and not know it.

OK I am off my soap box now. And Dave has been doing the long enough and terry that they know exactly what is needed. And I am sure they don't want us to hesitate to call on them. I love it here it is a place of Love, comfort and safety.

Blessings to all,
Sandy ^8^

Hi Sandy: There are many people in this world like the one you described .... the type of person who just likes to find fault and just can't seem to let it go. And, I agree, your relative is doing it just to get you to the point of tears. It makes him feel superior. To me it is a form of abuse. He obviously knows he can get to you and gets some sadistic enjoyment from it. I detest people who act like that but just have to try to learn from their actions and hope and pray that some day they will "grow" and change!

Hang in there and know in your heart that "you" are the stronger one! Words can cut deeply, but just try and remember that his words do not matter! Well, they matter but only to him. Someday he will meet his match.

Thank you. You are right someday he will meet his match and in the meantime I am staying as far away as I can get. It is one thing to forgive it is another to close the
door and loose the key. God gives us the wisdom that with too many times to count finally it sinks in to just walk away and don't turn back.
I use to feel bad for him because I thought he must be hurting to lash out like that
But this time not trying to find something I did to deserve it realized he does this because it does make him feel superior.

But guess what...I have a bigger family here than I ever dreamed of having and
I am thankful for that and everyone of
you.

I am hurt but atleast not beating myself up and feeling guilty for something I did not do. I guess I am growing. It was the things he stooped to saying like I killed my own DH the love of my life. When that blow hit I buckled at the knees. That was just plane evil. And he couldn't hurt me as much with any other aords as it will be our 32nd anniversary on the 6th and it will only be a year on the 15th. It feels like lastnight.
But I am proud to have what it takes to walk away and I learned that from my sweet Dennis.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

People who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves.

Sandy................no one expects us to be a doormat for them...............I agree that we don't fight evil with evil, but I don't see evil on Dave's Garden...............just some thoughtless people occasionally....................I always say we teach people how to treat us..............what we will accept and what we won't accept................

Sandy: First I want to express my deepest Sympathy to you on the loss of your husband. That was one of the most thoughtless things anyone could have said to you, blaming the death of your husband on you! You are right to close the door to that person who is so very cruel. You don't have to throw away the key, but it is best to keep your distance, for your own mental health and well being. All we can do is hope and pray that he comes to the realization someday that he was very wrong in saying such an awful, hurtful thing like that. If he is a realtive of your husband, maybe he is hurting deeply too and is taking it out in the only way he knows how, but that is a horrible way to treat someone who has just lost their husband.

Some will say that we are in control of our own destiny. I believe we have control of some situations in our life, control of our actions and reactions to things around us. I firmly believe that God has a plan for all of us and we are here on this earth for a reason, to learn a few lessons along the way and grow as human beings. I believe in a higher power and I know in my heart that we will be together again some day with our loved ones. I think what good we do in this life will come back to us and we also will have to answer for the wrongs we've done and the hurt we've conveyed to others. It is so hard to go on when we lose someone we love, but we must. Life is such a mystery sometimes and so hard to figure it all out. But, we don't have to figure anything out really, it will be revealed to all of us in time.

Many Prayers and Blessings will be going out for you Sandy and you know you have many friends here in this Beautiful Garden that will listen and isn't it wonderful that we can all visit this garden anytime day or night!



MaryMcP: Well said! That is one of the truest statements I have ever heard!

Gail: So true! The majority of the people on DG are wonderful ... the ones who are so very thoughtless are few and far between and the Majority rules!

mary that is so true.

Gail I have found no evil on DG. I don't believe with all the love here if any evil did come in it could stay that way or it would go somewhere else. I have been here almost 4 years. We have laughed together, we have cried together but most of all we have loved and continue to love each other.

My Dennis loved the RU we went to april 2006. He couldn't wait to go back but I lost him.
Plantladylyn it is my brother. He has always been mean but now he is vicious.
He was so good to me this last year calling
and worrying about me. I thought it would be good to go visit for a month. But no. The first time he flew off was horrible. I had fallen down the stairs coming from my room. He said those words about Me killing Dennis the next day. He was so hatefull all day. The next day he could not believe he said it and said it 2 times.

Then one morning he woke up and no longer wanted me there so he said I had 2 choices leave then or the next day. I left that day.
I had been there 2 weeks. He did alot of awful things getting my passwords off his computer but then called and really said some hateful stuff and again repeated that I had killed the love of my life of 31 years. Our anniversary is the 6th. It would be 32. He was only 51 and I miss him so very badly.

Sorry.

But back to DG I have not met anyone here that I did not love. I had 1 disagreement after they said something mean on a thread I posted. But after a little while I ask it to stop and it was removed.

But this place is my family and I love you all very much. I am still amazed at the love that is in this place and only followed by the compassion for one another.

Love and Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

Thank you for your prayers losing the Love of my life has been a terrible road and it is not much better. He died unexpectantly.

I so wish for you some healing................do you have a regular church where you like one of the ministers to talk to? That is too big of a burden to carry around..................deep seated anger without professional help can sometimes get aimed at the wrong person so easily. I have done that and realize it now...................DG is a wonderful safe place but you need someone in person to share your story with.......................someone trained in helping others heal.............I wish you the very best.............please don't carry the anger between you and your brother fester any longer...............get some professional help.
Those of us on DG are just as human as you and are not trained to help people through the grieving process.

Sandy: I agree with Gail. We, are always here for you on DG, but you really should find a bereavement group in your local area. Most churches have Bereavement groups and also Hospice Care Centers have scheduled bereavement meetings. There is no cost for attending them and you don't even have to speak if you don't want to. Some people just go to listen to others tell their stories and for the understanding and caring friendships. I never had much knowledge of Hospice until my Mother and Mother In Law became ill and I can't say enough about that wonderful, caring organization. It makes a huge difference having someone to talk to in person and really does help with the healing process. I do hope you will consider talking to a minister at your church or contacting Hospice to inquire about thier group. The healing process after losing a loved one can take time, and it always helps to know that others are experiencing the same feelings that you are.

I am going to look into something. My DS is using my truck for a few mor weeks to take the girls to and from school. But his car should be fixed soon.

You know I am no longer mad at him. He will live to become more bitter then he is and it will be sad because he won't have anyone.
I have just put distance between us because you can't get thru to him. My younger brother called him and told him if he would leave my internet accounts alone and leave me alone I had already promised not to file internet fraud on him. I promised to drop even expecting him to help with his homeowners paying the medical on my fall. I don't have insurance and I am disabled and don't get medicare for another year. I broke my tailbone and need my back checked be cause I already had a 2 level failed back surgery (lumbar) with a tear above that. I hit all 5 stairs on the way down, but I will manage. I always do.

Yes I will seek some help.
Thanks,