E-mail etiquette

and all too often, that "chip" is made up of lots and lots of small and petty things... life's too short! I'm with you... Eat cheese! LOL

Many of us who really garden and are serious about it often get tired of the people who hop from forum to forum as experts on any given subject................really doesn't matter what the subject is.........

Right now it is on rude postings from people like me...................never fear, the 'experts' have an answer for this one, too.

What is frustrating to me is that I joined dave's to learn a lot and I have. I have made some life long friends right here on DG .

It is only natural to get tired of having to weed through the posts from people who are very insecure and carry a chip on their shoulders ...................always having to be right.............always having to have the answers even when they know very little about the particular gardening problem. When these people make a mistake, they very quickly get in the defensive mode to cast dispersions on someone else for their own mistake.

i don't need to defend myself in any way.............have lots and lots of friends in everyday life and don't have time to spend all day on DG letting people know how knowledgeable I am. (I am not so I don't pretend to know)
I try to let all the digs go in one ear and out the other.................passive aggressive behavior is not an endearing kind of behavior........

Gessie, who are these experts you refer to?

Do you feel as though my posts are directed at you?
I keep seeing these defensive posts from you with hints about 'people
that think they know everything', and 'hop from board to board'
but I haven't seen anyone post nasty things to you. It is very possible to
misinterpret what others are saying, which is why I often try to fill my posts
with humor and smiles, to indicate that I'm on the thread with a happy presence.

:-)

Thankfully, I haven't run into those kinds of folks on Dave's, but
I don't stick to just a few forums, either. It is so wonderful to have
so many forums to choose from, there is something for everyone
here, whether they are here strictly for gardening, for home decor,
raising children, even fishing.

i was referring to Critter and no one else...................I should have sent her a dmail but this is not the first time she has dressed me down in public...................i won't post anything else , I promise...............you nor anyone else on this thread has offended me in any way, but I think it is quite nice of you to even care................thanks

I've been following this thread and don't quite understand what was wrong with anything critter said, I guess there's history there from other forums that I'm not aware of, but there's really nothing on this thread that strikes me as being directed at you (or anyone else) in a mean way.

Gessie,

If I may intervene without your asking, I don't know if there is anything
going on beyond what I read, but I honestly feel as though you may be
misconstruing posts.

Often someone makes a comment about someone else, but it may
be that you just thought it was aimed at or about you. I've never known
Critter to be a nasty person with ill intent. From the beginning of this
thread, I've only seen Critter post a few times, often with humor.

I'm thinking we all need a piece of cake, here. :-) And wine!

Somtimes we all need a break from DG and DG needs a break from some of us...............that may be the answer.............other friends on DG have said the same thing...........you come back refreshed.............
I do have a tendency to take things personally...............but often I am right...............

Hi Gessie,

No need to leave, but if you feel you need a break, we look
forward to your return. Your chair is always here for you when you come back.
And hey, maybe while you take a break someone will dust around here.
LOL

Karen Marie

You just hit the nail on the head.......................I get so engrossed in DG I forget I do have another life that needs to be taken care of.............(like dusting and ironing,etc)..................
thanks
gail

Gail, this thead started out being about polite posting and Dmailing, and that's all that we were talking about as far as I can see. I'm sorry you took anything personally, because I certainly wasn't trying to "dress down" you or anybody else. I'm sorry you have a problem with me, or that you've somehow decided that I have a problem with you, but I'm pretty baffled. You're welcome to Dmail me and let me know why you're so angry with me.

I scrolled back thru all the posts here and didn't see anything either so I am baffled too.

But here is a big 'heart' felt wish that you have a good week and happy gardening!!

Oh, Sue, can we squeeze him, can we, can we???

Please, please, please add this to our "It must be love" thread,
please?

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/722359/

Please do not let the DW see that pic! (I'll never be able to find that pattern on something living).

Dyson,

But wouldn't you go to the ends of the earth to please her? LOL
Just kiddin'.

May I ask, is your real name Dyson? Just curious, as
my son's name is Tyson.

:-)

My real, given name is in fact Dyson. In the south it was once a custom to name the firstborn male child in a family with his mothers maiden name for his middle name (sort of a way to keep family names alive if she was an only child or all of her siblings were female).

My Grandfather on my fathers side was a firstborn. His middle name was Dyson, and that became my first name.

I was a first born (of five), and my mothers maiden name is Lanier, which became my middle name.

So in fact I have three last names. Don't ca just love history?

Oh, what a completely adorable photo! Wuvie, didn't I see another thread where you were "collecting" heart shaped images? I know we're O/T, but could you please post a link? I want to bookmark that thread!

We've got an angelic kitten here now... but if that puppy is anything like him, I'll be he's Trouble when he's awake!

Dyson, very interesting! I love the name, myself. Thank
you for sharing the information.

When I had kids, I wanted them to have names that were
not like every other kid. Tyson was the choice for my first
born, but as I remarried, my other son was named by his
father. If not for his father's choice of Cody, his name would
have been Colby.

Critter, thanks for remembering the love thread. Here is
the link:

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/722359/

:-)

Dyson, I know exactly what you mean. I'm a family history buff and my husband has several ancestors with two or three surnames combined. I often wonder what they called Horsfall Greenwood on a daily basis - Horse? And then there was Young Horsfall - guess they ran out of names by the time they got to him? These names are very common where he comes from (Yorkshire) and there are Horsfalls and Greenwoods (as given names) all over the place, combined with yet more surnames.

In some places, the naming rules were followed so closely, you can use them to sort families out.

You are lucky to have a such a nice combination!

Totally OT - but I love names!

Family history is so important to all...I heard on the newscast a few nights ago that down east there is someone, (does not want to disclose his/her name) goes to a local cemetery, takes a name, researches all the history, returns and puts in on the grave site..some are insulted but most are ever so pleased....I think it's wonderful...

Oh, Betty, that would be so neat!

Hub's family name is quite unique, but no one really seems to
have reliable information or history. What a treat it would be to have
someone do all the genealogy work free of charge. Lots of work there.

:-) Karen Marie

Betty, I think it's wonderful, too. Some people have different ideas about family history - just searching bloodlines, etc. I don't care if family members are adopted, step, whatever, they are still FAMILY and deserve to be remembered. That's the gift that person is giving.

I'm not even sure if I should bring this up, but I have seen in the past (not me and I wasn't involved and not trying to get involved) where someone posted an inflammatory dmail from someone publicly. Now I'm still fairly new to chatroom etiquette and all,

But isn't that totally inappropriate to post private correspondence publicly?

and no, I didn't say anything because I would feel uptight and preachy when I simply prefer to stay away from that type of behavior altogether. But I did feel like that exchange should have been in private or the dmail ignored altogether. I did once have a former DGer (who was kicked off for, I'm positive, similar behavior) dmail me repeatedly with ridiculous freakouts and then would post exactly what she wrote so I had to respond to it not once, but twice. It was so annoying to say the least.

It would seem an inflammatory email posted on the site
is pretty overboard on both sides. The one who sent it
and the one who posted it for all to see would both be in the
wrong.

If someone is sending you nasty Dmail, I would think alerting
the administrators would be in order, hopefully with the offending
member being reprimanded, possibly have their membership
voided.

The problem members have a way of showing their behinds
all by themselves.

:-) KM

Nah, would never go tell on someone! I'd handle it myself (nicely, I mean).When raised by hippies one is eternally fearful of "The Man". Not that I'm calling Dave that, or anything...lol...and only good dmails now, so no problem. I was able to manage that situation fine, and feel most people can if they are careful with wording and can be diplomatic.

I guess if someone needed to get agitated in public or private, I would keep it in it's place, whichever one, but overall, I feel mail should be private.

Anyway, just one woman's opinion ;)

I don't feel the least bit badly for once posting a response from ebay...................never dreaming that the ebay seller was a DG member..................had I know who she was I simply would have dmailed her about my complaint. She knew when she sent me a nasty note on ebay that I could not respond to her with a negative 2 rating. I got that rating several years ago playing on ebay and not knowing that they wouldn't take credit cards............i was not going to go get a money order for a 13.00 Elaine nightgown.

I would never publicly make a post of someone's dmail on DG..............never , ever..............

ebay is different, retail is different, and gessie, you are a sweetie ;)

I guess I felt the need to bring it up here cause the moment I saw someone do that I instantly mistrusted that person. Even if you imagine a "friend" posting something totally harmless you said in a dmail, it's something that personally would make me feel violated. The pulpit has been bloodied by my fists enough now, lol.

There are times it is good to report things to the administrators because
they may not even be aware things are going foul. There are so many boards
and forums, so if we can help them out by pointing out problems by contacting
them via this link:

http://davesgarden.com/helpdesk/forums/

Use of this link can help things be resolved quickly, and in private.

Ebay has their own system for squabbles. LOL.



;-)

Minor "scrabbles" can best be kept personal IMHO however if not reported, then the scammer you were too smart to be fooled by, may find another hapless target that may or not be near and dear to you.

Everyone please be careful, watch your loved ones and be careful.

Oh, yes, scammers are one thing that should be mentioned. But
squabbles between folks is another issue.

Hi Dyson, may you and yours stay equally safe.

:-) KM