Not saying Thank you ?

One of my customers asked for some of my seeds when she saw my plants on the driveway so when I finished her vehicle I had the seeds and a plant I'd already started on her hood so I wouldn't forget to give them to her when she came to pick her car up. When she arrived she was thrilled but she said "Now I won't say thank you for the plant but I can say I do appreciate it very much!" I must have looked confused so she told me it was some tradition not to say "thank you" for a plant ? I had never heard of this and meant to ask here then forgot. Today I read a post in one of the forums where some one mentioned this again so it was not evidently just in her family. I tried googling it but came up with nothing. Anyone else hear of this?

http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/749232/ Here's where I found it mentioned today.

Yes the tradition is if you thank someone for a plant they give you it will not grow.

Well then! Maybe that's been the problem!!! LOL

Thanks shadowgarden. Wonder why I'd never heard of it until just
recently ?

I have heard of it also. I have also heard that daylilies are sometimes referred to as surpise lilies. Meaning that one day there is no flower and the next day there is.

My grandmother always said to just say "much obliged"...

Larkie

Thank you ~ Larkie! I said it last year and again now,

and yet it still grows and FINALLY blooms... : ) pod

LOL So it's more of an old wives tale then ?

I haven't heard that expression in years Larkie." Much Obliged. "My grandaddy used to say it and my great aunts too.

I must have a variety of "surprise coleus" too SueMe. One day I pluck all the flowers off and next day there they are that I KNOW were not there the day before!

Aha!
A bloom, looking good..

Larkie

Here's one from UQT. I said "thank you" when she agreed to my begging and sniveling for this unusual tropical vine... I said "thank you" when she shipped tiny cuttings.
And looking at this monster, again today, this vine grows with no inhibitions ~ no blooms yet but it will ~ so I say "thank you" Janet!

I've heard many people say that. Can you tell if someone tells me don't do that ~ THAT is exactly what I am going to do! DH hasn't learned that yet after all these years. LOL

I was born and raised in the South and I've never heard the saying NOT to Thank someone for a plant! Wonder where that came from? I have many many times heard the saying "Much Obliged" and have used it myself a time or two!

I have no idea Plantlady. I thought it may have been a custom I SHOULD have been aware of. Nothing in the first couple pages I googled trying to see before I asked. I didn't realize it was a southern thing. Maybe I'll try that in the keywords and see what pops up.

Okay, way off here but indulge me. I have never heard of not saying thank you for a plant but in my husband's culture, typically you don't say thank you period. Everyone is supposed to be charitable and to say thank you for anything means that the gesture was exceptional or out of the norm. To not say thank you is to say 'I expected nothing less of you' and therefore in the future the other person would expect nothing less of you in return. Kind of weird huh?

Kind of nice ... what culture is your husband? Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we all we expected only the best from each other and got it ? ..... You know ...... Do Unto Others.

maiden,

I would have looked just as confused. That truly is one of the oddest things I've ever heard! I don't think I'll adopt that idea. LOL.

I am a firm believer in what goes around comes around. I did something yesterday that I have never done before. Maybe I got took, maybe I didn't. There was a family sitting in a rather old van with a sign in the window saying need gas. Out of town plates, a dog laying on the floor of the van with 2 teenagers. I don't know if I got took or not, but I gave them $20.00. I have never done that before and I probably never will, but it felt good. I couldn't really afford it, but maybe that is why it felt good.

That was certainly kind of you. It's true what goes around comes around. :)

We were approached by a man asking only for CASH at the gas station for gas but yeah he ONLY approached us, we never carry cash, and when we said so he drove OUT of the gas station without asking anyone else. Very strange.

Sometimes you just never know. I was loading my car at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and this guy came up behind me and I didn't even hear him ... quiet! I am usually very observant about my surroundings and it really took me by surprise. He mumbled something and I could not understand what he said so I said: "Excuse Me"? He then asked if I could spare him something to eat! I said, I was sorry but I didn't have any groceries (I had been in the garden center and housewares sections of the store.) He said Thanks anyway and God Bless ... and walked on through the cars ..... I watched him for a couple of minutes before getting into my car and all of a sudden realized .... he had two Wal-Mart bags in his hands ... one in each hand? I felt kinda bad at first, thinking maybe I should have offered him money, but I had my hands full trying to load my car and my purse was already locked in the car! I always throw my purse into the front seat and lock the doors before loading my trunk .... wherever I go shopping. I keep my keys right in my hand or put them in my pocket. Something just did not feel "right" about the situation. I kept wondering what he had in the Wal-Mart bags .... if he could afford to make a purchase why was he asking for food?

But, Sue ... You have a good heart. With two teenagers and a dog, maybe they did need the money. Did you see if they bought gas? I suppose all you can do is hope they really were down on their luck and maybe that $20 meant more than you will ever know. I truly believe in "Paying it Forward" whenever possible. But, I truly believe in "Listen to your instincts, that little voice, that certain feeling". I am one also who believes what goes around comes around ... what good we do in this life will come back to us.

You did good ....

plantladylin,
my husband is from Somalia and he is muslim. I know that conjures up all kind of images but he is definitely very moderate in all of his beliefs. we have a very mixed up home, I am christian, dad is jewish, hubby is muslim and we all get along. anyway, one of their big things is charity and generosity. on some holiday, they are expected to give to charity and it must be something nice and heartfelt. unlike how we do it, it cannot be your old used hand me downs that you give away.

Ga Peach .... You have a wonderful, blended family! As I have grown older and hopefully a bit wiser, I've learned that if we are all to survive on this earth we must be more tolerant of all cultures. There will always be someone out there with more education than I have, more money, fancier car, bigger house but that does not make them any better than me. And, I don't feel I am any better because I may have more than someone else. It's what's inside that counts .... inside one's heart! So, the only image I conjure up of your family, is one of acceptance! Generosity and Charity .... great qualities for us all to strive for!

Blessings to you and your family,

Lin

SueME ~ how could you have been taken? You can live with what you did and are comfortable with it. Trust your instinct and don't look back.

Years ago, a older policeman in our community was struggling to raise 4 kids and on a colder night found a family in a camper stranded with no money for gas or food. He bought them a warm meal, some groceries and gas but could barely afford to do so. Days later, he heard of a family with children that burned up in a camper trying to stay warm farther west. He always wondered if he should have done more and yet he did far more than most would.

What goes around will indeed come around again both good and bad. I always try to temper my decisions with that thought. Good for you.... : )) pod

Well all you folks that believe in all those good deads, I will tell you what I did few years ago. One of my friends wanted to look at a house that was for sale, we live in a small town, I agreed to go look with her as her husband was out of town, so along we went, the prperty agent was unavaliable to join us, so informed us that the house would be empty appart from the maid who would be showing us around the property. "oh a maid we both laughed" so we drove up to the house and as we got out the car, some workmen were puting pictures and paintings in the trunk, on the sidewalk beside the car were some real large chinees vases, "oh said I, you will never get those vases in the trunk, they will get damaged, and look at all those paintings, take your jacket off and tuck it in between the paintings, he looked at me like I was from mars, so I helped him off with his jacket and showed him how to sandwage it in between all the lovely paintings, your mum will go nuts if these get all scratched and damaged I informed the guy, my friend by now was giving me the evil eye that said, hurry up and stop talking as she was in a hurry to view this wonderful house, so I tell her not to be so impatient, and helped the guy to place the large chinees vases into the back seat of the car and stuffed a few other smaller items like a cameras and bags onto the seat to stop the vases rolling while in transport, said goodby and went up the garden path to the house door, it was wide open so we yelled for the maid to come to the door, no reply, yelled some more and still nothing, we were getting a wee bit worried about the lack of response from the maid and said all daft things like, maybe she's drunk on all the booze from the house or she may be tied up and locked in a cubourd etc, when my friend entered the house very gingerly, and we realised that the house was being burgled as we arrived, these guys were not the sons of the family who owned the house but just guys who go around breaking into peoples homes, especially ones that are empty and up for sale, we wandered through the house to search for the maid and never found her anywhere, we were thinking the worce when we caught site of the next door neightbour, she informed us that the lady who owned the house had died and her sons were overseas, the maid had left as no one lived in the home anymore, so we had to call the police, it was a nightmare trying yo explane that I never met these guys before I helped them load their car, so not all good deeds turn out to be a kindness, the end of the saga was that the 2 guy's who were robbing the house turned out to work for the removal company who were to move all the belongings overseas, but these guys thought they would rob the place before the company went to do the job, I had to ID them from mug shots, it was quite an experience as I recognised some of the other faces from the mug shots, my husband has told me repeatedly, just walk on by if I find someone in trouble, but it is hard to do, you want to treat folks like you would expect them to treat you no matter who or what they look like, neadless to say, my husband has other views and recons I should not go out on my own, he he he. WeeNel.

I'll tell you my pay it forward story. A few years ago, I went to a restaurant alone because I had a miserable massive headache and figured maybe food would help. I sat waiting for my food with my head in my hands, massaging my temples. When I went to pay for my food, it had already been paid for. The waitress told me that a gentleman, who had also been eating alone, saw me and thought that I must have been having a bad day and he thought he'd do something to improve my day. I was stunned. He didn't want accolades. He left the restaurant without me even knowing that he had done it. How uncommon is that. Must be one of God's angels.
So, to pay it forward, last year I went to the gas station after work, (at 10pm) and there was a lady filling up also. I complained to her about the price of gas (over $1/litre at the time--Multiply that by 4 for gallons) She said that she could only afford to put in $10 as that was her last $ before payday (the next day) I didn't say anything, but when it came time to pay, I told the guy to add her gas to my bill. I think she was stunned or thought I was hitting on her. (I'm a woman and I'm straight) I told her my story, and told her to do something nice for someone. Thats how I wanted her to pay me back. I don't know, nor will I ever know if she did, but I hope so. The point is that if its snot expected or asked for, I think it is appreciated more. It felt really good doing it, too.

I was born and raised in the south and remember my mom and her sister telling people it was bad luck to thank someone for a plant. She just said "I appreciate it", or the person giving the plant would wish her luck. I've caught myself doing the same thing too :) Something my mom passed on to me, besides her green thumb :)

Susan

My Mom is the only person I ever heard say not to thank someon e for a plant or it won't grow. She was raised in the Midwest.

It must not be just a southern thing then lincolnitess. I've googled all kinds of terms trying to find some reference about it but still no luck. I tried southern tradition. Gotta be something.... maybe folklore? I heard it again at a swap meet this past weekend.

My grandmother (from Hallettsville, Texas) was superstitious (well, if not, she had fun doing the "rituals") and would not thank someone for a plant...said it would jinx it, I guess just like an actor will not wish another one "good luck" upon going on stage, but instead will say "Break a leg!"

I think some of these old superstitions got started because people in the old days needed some conversational cues. IE: "I'm not going to say 'Thank you' because I sure want it to grow big and strong."....etc.

I follow some of my g'mom's superstitious rituals just as a type of honoring her, such as eating some black-eyed peas every New Year's Day! :-) (yum...now I want some!)

I'm from the south and I've heard the don't thank people for plants all my life from my mom who is from the south. I'll have to say, she is very superstitious too. I just say I appreciate it.