Best Thing/Worse Thing and What did I learn today? Part 6

No don`t go "B". Sharron i think God sent you that little furrby, it was no accident that it was brought to you so all will be well i know. You and Daisy need her and she obviously needs you or else she will be a vagabond, world traveler against her will. Save her Sharron, Save her.

I'll 2nd that...she was sent to you for a reason...

my missy just came in...does she remind you of someone Sher...

Hi Shar!
I think Miss is a fun looking cat! Sure hope everything works out, so you can bring Miss Daisy home. for MD and you.

Here's a fun story for you.

...Last season, I had the oportunity to a Landscaping project. The bid was to re-sod a front lawn and power rake the back yard. With the earnings, paid all of my helpers five . I bought myself a Tiller! Not just any kind, it's 5.6HP (I think) Honda! The only real bummer is, It's pull start, so guess who Can't fire up her tiller. So, I rely on my son, He come always, with a shake of his head a smile on his face. Jacob teases about how I will always have to hire him. Laughingly I say, yep. This year was no exception because in my own yard, I have been laying down 2 paths, and sifting stone, stone and more stone! from the space my Real garden is going to be.
For days I had said I was going to till up the soil. DH says ok I'll be there to start it up. Well he was there, but busy with something. So I yell out for Jacob. He pulls with 2 yanks and I 'm all Happy. With my hands on the handle pull the lever up to start her going.

Aghhhh I was screaming as the tiller had me vibrating and tossed on all around. I felt like rag doll. Geeze, I was frantically trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. So repositioned myself handle and feet, I kept thinking yow, I ran last year withiout a problem,
I was determined to continue on so I just shaked and quaked as I went along. Steve had heard the tiller so came back to check on me. Well apparently he was standing there watching this show. I found this out when I while demonstrating how I was being tossed around, hahaha, He said he was having a pretty good laugh.

I figured out too what the problem was. Last year I ran a rented tiller. And Those pavers I am putting in, came in with a truck we bought. Perfect except last year...I tilled and moved 144 12X12 pavers! So i was pretty Buff. Thats why I could till with no problem Last Year. LOL and guess what?...Was still Vibrating on Monday!

...Hope that helped cheer you up!
Judy

Judy, what are you doing girl...that's a lot of physical work...your back will giveout for sure...why not be the boss and direct son and DH...you can sit,watch and just give orders..lol....no, I know you life doing the work yourself, gives you such a sense of accomplishment..but take it from this old gal...it catches up...

I'm with you Judy..think Sher should just go for the gusto and adopt that kitten...you know you want to Sher...

You know girls, should be in bed but everytime I check in, someone new has been on ... so very addictive don't you think...

Oh My, Betty, think Daisy and Missy are long lost sisters? I got daisy the same way, someone dumped her, and she made her way to my house....she is a sweetheart, and i don't want her to be upset with a new kitten, so what do you think? we'll see.
I think it will be good company for her since she misses bob so much.
Funny tiller story.....made quite a visual image. did your teeth chatter, too?
And dawn, I don't need much encouragement, just concerned about daisy.
Betty, don't you dare get sick.....we need you, we can't go a day without you....so there!

Boy I used to martyr all the back breaking yard work I did with no help on my yard until dg , where i see all the girls are as buff and determined as I am, and none with much, little or no help.(pulling the string doesn`t count much, they are hard to pull). I think you may need to wet your soil and till the next day when it is softer. mine does that too if the clay is dry. You dainty flower you seed.
Are they taking the Kitten to the vet asap?

Said they would take it tomorrow, needs thorough checkup, plus shots, I think...which I will pay for if I take her....which of course I will....how could I not????

You will and i can`t hear how the baby and Miss Daisy are together. lol

Yayay! Clappin my hands, big smiles your way. Got the kitties mixed I mean it will be great for Jasmin-such a pretty name.
I have heard if you intorduce slowly kitties will get used to each other.
LOL - teeth only rattled for that first time!
Not to worry, all aspects of the gardens are mine to decide and do get help when I need.
I take my time when the heavy stuff needs to get done...My problem-Hate waiting.
Good night.

Nite, Seedtosser and everybody....tomorrow is another day. Looking forward to it.
(And to miss Jasmin, too, Dawn...maybe )

seedtosser, your story reminds me of something that happened to me when I was going thru my divorce. I had never cut grass in my life. Growing up, daddy and my brothers did it. Got married and husband did it. Got divorced and had to learn how to do it. Anyway, it was a pull start and couldn't get it started. I had to call a friend to come over and show me how to start it, Tell you what, I can start one now with no problem.

sorry I've been away for awhile, but final graduate project has me sooooo busy. Finish it up on Tuesday and my day class, too. It will surely make life a little better.

Worst thing today: instructors who nit-pick and are petty
best thing today: making it thru another day
what i learned: this too, shall pass
love to all, julie

picture of me and 5 of my children

Frog how many do you have woman? You get my vote as super woman.

hey there,

betty been keeping up on your posts.... everyone has a story dont they? i dont know how we get through some things you know.....

i keep an eye on all your posts but please forgive me for not responding to all. i am just so darned tired all the time! i know its stress and i will get better.

thankyou for thinking of me though...

look at those families.... so cute and pets and all. i love to see all your projects and hear what you do, its the highlight of my day.

gosh i am tired... going to relax before my walk or i wont make it around the block! lol

froggies_girl...what a beautiful family you have....and you are trying to further your education...hat of to you sweetie, that's quite an undertaking...

Wonder...Laura I can't imagine how you are handling everything on your plate right nowmust seem overwhelming most days but your making it...won't be long and you'll be back to a normal (?whats normal) routine....how's Leopold..still walking him...

Dawn...don't you sleep lol...adreneline still working I guess...hope you are not woried..everything will turn out A ok..am sure, anyone with that many prayers..we'll it just can't turn out any different....

Sher, when I took in Missy, Riley (cat) and Sailor (dog) went to different parts of the house...not certain of the little kittie, but now they all play and enjoy the company...as you say, as long as she doesn't have major diseases it will be fine and you'll cherish her as deep down you'll know Bob sent her to you to keep you out of mischief..lol

Got to go, driving in to city on my own this morning...rather tired..gabbed much to late with all you lovely people...

Talk to you later...

Slow to catch up here-kitties and kids, how cute-froggies girl, yikes, you have my vote as superwoman, too, my one wears me out.

Yesterday: Best: I was rolling at your comments about skirts--NO miniskirts here! lol...I am adorable and confident, but not THAT cute! lol. Lord help me if I did wear one, I get plenty enough attention in long ones..lol

What I learned: Kinda weird, but due to the crazy way NC credentials people in my line of work, only myself and another co-worker at my office are qualififed to do our jobs (despite me being the youngest)--Some people have 20 years of experience, so it makes no sense to me. I think it will have to be figured out, soon I hope, I don't really need to take on working with more folks.

Worst: DD fell while roller skating at day camp and hurt her back. She's ok, but it was scary. And the #$%& out-laws are coming today...those durn people make me nuts.

Well the dog wouldn't let me sleep in any longer. He comes up on the bed sticks his face in mine and the wrestling match starts. Mostly on his part! LOLHe is 66# of energy and fur!

My you girls were chatting up a storm last night! Wish I was here for it but I was working! I don't think I will get that position at this time. The manager is actually a very good friend of mine and I seem to get a block around her when it comes to the mechanical stuff! I think I feel inferior to her in that department because I sure don't in anything else. But I will buckle down and learn what I can in the meantime so that I am ready next time.

Get the kitty! Get the kitty! When my Dawson dog died icouldn't stand the quiet house. Told DH we were getting another dog! He had wanted to wait and I never told him I was already looking! A month later we had Ty from a chow rescue gal. My house had noise again! It has mostly been wonderful! You all know the bad parts to puppies! Anyway get the kitty if she is healthy!

Betty hope you are feeling better today and if not get yourself to the Dr. Dizziness is not fun! Your chapters are so interesting! Patiently waiting for the next when you are ready.

Wow froggie what a family! You get my vote for energy!

Wonder we like to hear from everyone when they have the time and energy. Even a hello is great! Life is so busy!

Judy loved the tiller story. DH runs ours because I know I never could! Glad I made the corn plot a small one. The rest is all raised beds.

We got another storm last evening! All kinds of warnings out! Haven't heard about any damage. Which is good. My gardens are really perking up and growing now! I was ready to go and get some filler plants which of course would of made them to full.

Worse thing::::Realizing I have that block!

Best thing::::The rain.

What did I learn:::That I need to prep myself for the job so I am more comfortable about getting it in the future!

You all have a great day! Take care of yourselves!
Vicki

good morning all,

wonder:glad to hear from you
judy:lol,lol ragdoll... i know where your comming from on that one, how about when your making a turn and the tiller go's sideways and you feel like your pulling the mule team.
julie:you have a lovely family
sharron, oh i love daisy what big eyes oh indeed what a gift jasmin is cant wait to see the picture.

betty,did the dizzy feeling go away??PONTOON oh my you sure do take on a full work load betty is that the rascal who bit bernice lol oh and thank you for the suggestion but i found the low leak is under the pool so for this season i have to keep filling it :(

best: dh is taking me out to dinner today

WORST:IM JUST BESIDE MYSELF FILLED WITH HATE during the night a racoon wreaked havok in my fish pond.. then pulled back the cover and went in the pool omg at the moment trapping isnt the answer either arrrrrrr. i'll be over it by the end of the work day im just surprised all the years we've been here they have never bothered the pool and besides i hope they got clorine burns on there behind.

learned: i love you all thank you for letting me vent

everyone have a wonderful day liz

ves,

oh look at your dog oh what a cutie
sorry about the posistion, but it will come around again and it will be there for you

liz

Hi all - sorry I haven't posted in a bit. I'm here though - lurking and reading everyone's posts.

For yesterday:

Best: class instructor let us out an hour early (I'm taking a Botony class for my Landscape Designer course). Actually was able to stay in my garden until the sun went down.

Worst: getting our two kids to understand that they are part of the family when it comes to taking care of Murphy (new puppy). So I came home from class to a stressed out DH. Am I the only one that sees that this is a 3 month old puppy who needs CONSTANT supervision??? Amazingly, he also needs to pee every once in a while so he has to go out!!! No, he wasn't born with a bladder the size of a grapefruit, the intelligence to know to scratch on the door when he goes out or the understanding that if he eats that shoe you left on the floor, he just night get sick! UGGGGHHHHHH!

Learned: That I am the only one who knows anything in my household! :)

morning...so nice to hear from you all...will do some posting later but just received this photo and thought you might enjoy...

Sharon breeds American Eskimo dogs and has some of the highest pedigree winnings in the circuit...so here's here new additions as of last night...

I believe it's 4 girls and 2 boys...
I could adopt a child much easier than someone getting her dogs...

I want another puppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!But it is not the right time for me.

Good morning Everyone!

Betty, somehow I missed that you were dizzy-Sure hope you are feeling better. Hopefully it was just the weather, or all that concentration at sewing pontoon cover-
Those pups sure are the cutest.
Everyones pups, and kitties are just so cute. Makes me wish we could have one...But birdie, has been light of our life. Tropi-Have you decided on a bird yet?
Will post at lunch-But thought I'd share our baby.
Froggie, Great family photo! Hats off to you - I sure hope the test and finals projects go great-Wow, you sure got your hands full.

oops-hit the wrong button-

Meet Feathers-she thinks she is an Eagle!

Awww... how pretty!

I have two cats and one who is particularly wild, so unfortunately, I think buying a bird to match my tropical plants would be kinda selfish considering how quick I think Alice Cooper would get it. She's into everything...the sink....waterhose....dirt....my water tub garden....food, our hair.....drinks....I couldn't even unpack a box of plants I got without her batting them around!

Judy...Looooovvvvveeee 'Feathers'....Missy is a hunter so would not want to encourage her...Can she be left for few days when you go away or must you find someone to come in to care for her...so pretty...how long have you had her...my apologies, I mussed have missed that you were worried about a syst..oh my God, you must have been in a tizzy...it's a worry

Yes, not dizzy today, must have been eating habits..humm or just not feeling good!

Pups are my sister's and I'm sure they are all sold..think mostly to USA...lot's of work..she's such an animal lover..thinks she prefers dogs to men...now / now girls...not commenting on that one....

Vicki...I'm paying for the chattiness...stayed up toooo late, today I'm dragging my feet... Going to Home Depot shopping at lunch so that ought to get my adrenaline going???lol
Funny how we let people intimidate us...no reason for it...everyone is gifted with something special...you just never know, as you say, learn a little more about dept. and you'll feel confident once a position comes your way again...hope you are not disappointed...when I just typed 'everyone is gifted' is reminds me of a story..well here I go, side tracked again...not long ago, Kyle my eldest grandson spent a few days with me and we created so many treasures..he watched me do stained glass/paint/woodwork/lay bedroom floor etc. and he said 'grandma you sure know how to do a lot of things...you are so creative and smart....' from time to time that day he'd give me compliments... then off he went..guess he must have sat and thought about it a lot and perhaps felt guilty that he was complimenting me and not his other grandma so as I was getting money out of my purse for the pizza (no - not home cooked meal) he said 'you know grandma, my other grandmother Better is pretty smart as well...she can cook food right from scratch!' SO THERE!

Gardengirl..how's the garden...or is Murphy doing a number on it? lol we missed you girl!!! Do you take classes all summer long? kids out of school this week or next..that will give them time to learn 'puppies' schedule....

Liz if you go to a pool place they have underwater patches that can be put on area needing repair..or as you say if it's very small, it will be okay till fall, as long as the leaking doesn't make it larger?

Son just lives about 2 miles or so down the road from me and has beautiful pool..I keep saying I'll go over and use it, but once I'm home, that's where I stay...so have been contemplating purchasing one of those above grounds but know it would be to look at as when I lived on the lake I rarely used it...boat will be in water within next week or so - at that point I can swim off back deck...guess I'd better save my $$$$....

Tropicanna, how's your DD doing today...what a fright for you...well, your telling us that you get plenty of looks with your long skirt gives us a clue that you are a knock out.....

Know my Friday will be filled between doing about 10 - 15 more cement rhubbard leaves in the am and trying to finish the pontoon sides and top...I'll have to find something for Sat. for sure...

Sher hope you are making $$$$ at the garage sale..you'll need it for that little 'kitty' you are adopting....

Dawn..enjoyed all the good humour we had last night, sure brightened up the evening...

Wonder, if you are reading these threads as a break from all your daily responsibilities, know we miss you.....

Hi Betty,

The garden is coming a long. If we could just get some rain, it would be wonderful! I go to school on Wednesday nights. This is one of about 15 classes I will need to take to become a landscape designer. This ones goes until the end of July, then i will sign up for the next one. I would do more then one at a time but I work full time during the day.

The kids are out of school now and going to camp at the Y. I go home each day for lunch for puppy duty, then back to work. The kids are just at that age where they want to play and the novelty of the puppy has worn off. Don't worry, this attitude will be nipped in the bud PDQ!

Ves Chows and chow mixes have such a bad rap but my chow mix is a crack up. Yours is so adorable. Aunt "B" i had fun too last night. Glad we could make Jo smile and be silly too.

You guys all commented so much and i read everything but it is way too much to comment on since the last time i read it. lol

My corbin running along the lb roses. He is part queensland healer so he has all these stuffed animals (his babies) that he herds room to room and if you take one he will beg and shake to get it back or jump up and take it and then he licks it as if it was being hurt, real softly and lovingly, he also is terrified of the Dyson Animal vac and despite that if a baby is in the vac `s pathway he will rush by and rescue it from the vaccuum. i love that.

GardenGirl, WOW-You sure have your hands full. I soooo envy you. Going to school for Landscaping-Cheering you on in a Big way. Big dream of mine to do the same-Waiting to son finishes school-then maybe I can concetrate on some classes. You must be on the constant go, LOL do you live on caffine? Good Luck and have lots and lots of fun.

Vicky-Your puppy is just so fluffy and cute, but guess what....I want your stones! So pretty in the backround. LOL I got a big love/hate relationship with Stone.

Hellznz-Thanks for that advise on tilling when soil is damp. I do find it to be much easier, when I sift it then crumbles so beautiful.

Liz, LOL 'like pulling mules" so true. Hey I feel for you and your fight with racoons- big bummer on the pond and getting into your pool. Last year they tore my screen house to shreads going after some chips someone left out! Wish I could give an idea but i can't.

Shar-Wondering if you have a new family member yet. I hope your day is going well.

Betty, It is not I thinking I have a cyst, I was being releived for Lizrainy's cyst turning out to nothing. (remember i am always a bit behind).
haha, Had to laugh at Kyles remark on other Grandma and cooking from scratch even...
We got Feathers when she was just 3 months old. This year she will be 9. She goes to grandmas house while we are on extended vacations. At GM's is her birdie cousin a parakeet. They are the best of friends. While we go away for the weekend she is home gaurding the house. If we go longer than two days she generally goes with us. She loves a long car ride.

Tropicanna-Oh gosh sorry to hear of DD fall. I hope she is feeling better today.

BBL-getting back to work here-Big hug to all
Judy

JAZZ is here!!!!! Had to become Jazz because she is a he!!
Vet laughed at me.
anyway, have to go for an MRI now, so you will get pix tonight.....have him confined to front bathroom....daisy is guarding the door.....afraid to leave them alone together while I am gone...
so later!!!

Oh soooo cute...Jazz...can't wait to see pictures...MRI - hope all is ok...talk later

will be sixish when I get in because of the continuing yard sale, will go back up there to help them set up for tomorrow, but will post after that
s

Part 4...

You'll have to be patient on the next couple of posts because I'll be rambling on..some may not make sense but some will ... if I confuse you or things are out of order know in my mind that's how my mind has processed the series of events...there is a reason why I'll go into detail, so you will understand this part 4 of my life...

In my weeks of watching Roger die, there was a young lady in his room, she was about 23..had a rare disease she would scream from morning to night in great pain, they would give her blood and she'd be up walking...fine as can be..within hours her body took in blood (platelets) and she'd be critical... couldn't imagine why her mother sat , listened to the screams and wrote in a journal for hours...I learnt that she watched 3 children die with same disease..her notes were very indepth so that perhaps one day she could help others...I purchased a journal and began writting as well...kind of help me heal in some ways..and thought at some future time, it would make sense...this young lady passed away a few hours after Roger..we had already left the hospital when she passed as did 2 others...this Mother wrote to me and told me the anguish she had watching our family those few weeks....now why am I telling you this..oh yes, to let you know at this point I decided to keep a journal...

Now for my story...

When Roger was 17 he fathered a child and really did not have any contact with his girlfriend of the time and DD...as years went by we met her a few times and she and family moved out west..in later years she married/had children and we met several times and were beginning to bond...and she had 2 lovely daughters..OMG...I'll have some girls to spoil...anyway, when I was told he was dying I decided to call her..within hours she was by our side...but, she took over and to my dismay, by eldest boy freeked, I would then have to make my 1st bad decision (or was it) that the mental wellfare of my boys must come first...so, after several visits I had to ask that she not come back and I'd let her know when he'd pass...not nice was I ...

Roger became increasingly ill and because the cancer was in the liver, most of his organs were shutting down...doctor's at one point said no more medication because the liver simply could not break it down ...so he lay in pain...for days he layed with the lower part of his body without clothing so when he soiled, well we know how degrading that is, he felt ashamed..so began his quest...he asked me not to let anyone see him in his present situation...some listened, some did not...between christmas and new years some days there may have been 30 -40 people in the waiting room...as he lost more strength and knowing his mom and sister had recently been in hospital and that his dad had breathing problems he asked again that no one be allowed to visit him...even the boys and I would sit quietly out of sight...after one visit from mom and sister he said please no more so visits, I can see something in their eyes...so, as they would appear I would ask them not to visit...
When Roger was moved to what they called 'shut down unit' now that tells you something doesn't it..this room had 6 patients and each had 2 nurses working around the clock on each...the glass window of the nurses station faced the corridor..remember now, I told Rogers family members they could not go in and see him, so with 10 brothers and sisters and then add the spouses...great numbers..all at the window watching as the hours went by, nurses trying to do their job...imagine all these people /upset/drained/no sleep...yuk..so the nurses called me over to say they must close the window in order to get on with their daily routine...so, a male nurse brings up a sheet, stations it between he window frame and closes the view...

Clock turn to New Year's day and as the clock chimbs my DH was passed over...

Left the Toronto hospital that night with the 2 boys, it was soooo cold, you know one of those days with it's so cold that it looks like a million little diamonds all sparkling in the air, and each branch of the tree looks like it belongs in a fantasy land... although it was 1am by the time we left the hospital, with all the lights on it almost seemed daylight...as we walked through the back passageway, a big grate - probably 100' x 100' let steam from the heating system of the hospital escape...pretty sight I remember, but there on the grate lay a man, covered with folded boxes and an old coat, I stopped, remember the boys tugging at me and saying that we'd better move on...I remember saying that I just wanted to stay still for a few moments...looking up I could see the window area that I had looked out on for the past week, lights were dim, one of those rooms had been where Roger had been, now here this man lay in the cold, not sure why, didn't he have a home, why would he be here and freezing, did he not have anyone who loved him...boys kept tugging and tugging...but I still remained there...at no time during Roger's illness or death did I say 'why me Lord - why me' ... but it is so vivid in my mind that I was trying to figure things out...now upstairs in that room lay a man, who was loved by hundreds if not by thousands...a family who loved him..a wife who adored him, and here's this man with no-one probably questioning the Lord as to why he is here....couldn't find the answer...and to this day there is no answer...but the Lord always has a plan...so will have to trust him

Just prior to closing the lid of the casket I asked all the brothers and sisters to come over to the house and get something that they may cherish that belonged to him..one brother told me to go "F" myself...the war was now on...I didn't notice that only a couple of Roger's family talked to me during the 3 day visitation process...because of the numbers in attendance and my tiredness it never occured to me that I had not only lost Roger but his family as well....an entire family and life gone...I'm 43, where do I go from here...am sure my life is over....


For several years, they would walk past me on the street and not acknowledge that they even knew me...I was not invited to family functions....I did not exist...My boys were hurt but because of the 3 eldest looking so like my husband they bonded and spent a lot of time with them..a way to have dad near them...this hurt like the dickens...Robert the eldest and his wife Barb stood by my side, for over 10 years did not talk to his brother Rene who had insulted me while standing at the casket...all took sides...I was the B.....ch....that would not allow them to see their son, their brother etc. so I payed a mighty price to do what Roger had asked me to do...I'd have to wonder if asked again, would I do it...

So, now I find myself without a husband, NO life insurance ...only because he had high blood pressure and with other ailments (although they did not bother him) we could not get insurance...he loved fast cars/boats/ski-doos (AND FAST WOMAN) LOL and always thought he'd go by an accident...we had soooo much insurance based on that...now I was down to 1 income, mortgage on the house because a few years earlier we took out loan in order to put boys through their education..why not...I was only 43 and he 47...not a problem..but now it was a problem...

So I took on a 2nd job...worked almost day and night to keep the house but it was hard..best think about it was that I had NO TIME to think...I ended up selling his boat that the boys loved, but surviving at this point is far better than worrying about selling it..hurt me deeply that I had to...but we all do what we have to do..right?

Support...we had great friends, lost some along the way those first few months not because of anything I had done, it's just that I think it saddened them so that they had lost a best friend that they didn't know how to deal with the loss or my loss...it was easier to walk away...remind me later and I'll tell you a heart drenching story about friendship and loss....acquaintances and strangers offered to be my support system...I treasure them to this day!



will post so I don't loose this much



This message was edited Jun 21, 2007 4:16 PM

This message was edited Jun 21, 2007 4:20 PM

Seed - HA! not caffine - just good anxiety drugs!! LOLOL

Wow 'B', that would kill me either way I turned. I want to hear more though.

Seed it is me who has the cyst thing but it is a tumor he thinks is begnine.

Shar can`t wait to see the kitties together. hope it goes well.

Betty, I cannot imagine the pain you have gone thru. You are a very strong lady!! It's a shame everyone in your /your DH's family can't see that!

So I continue to work, work at work, work 2nd job, work at home, work/work/work....anything to take away the pain...so 2 1/2 years go by and my son Greg decides to get married..now won't this be a pickle of a situation..all walking around like strangers...the weeks go by, I'm very agitated, I can feel Roger's presence, I know he's telling me something, I can't eat/can't sleep...his spirit is with me...

Each and every Saturday morning I had a routine, get my hair done at 8am, ride into Penetanguishene and by 9:15 I'd be visiting my grandmother in the manor for the morning...but in order to go to the manor I had to pass the cemetery and could see from the road Roger's tombstone...I stopped but for a few seconds and said 'Roger, I don't know what you want-tell me and I'll do it'...sooo I spend the morning with grandma and on my return I stop yet again at the cemetery and say ' what is it you want me to do?'..

Now Roger's Mom and Dad lived right around the corner from the cemetery and I found myself pounding at the door, it was almost like a trance, I wanted to stop my hand mid stream and say no, no, no, don't want to be here...

Roger's mom answered the door and I simply said 'can I come in for coffee?' she opened the door and in I went....Roger's dad was in living room and he peeked through the door and his mom said, 'it's Betty' and he said "I know who she is"...we talked generally for about two hours, no mention of Roger, just the boys and daily living...I then said 'guess you want to know why I'm here?' they both looked at each other and didn't speak...I said "Roger is with us, he said his death had to mean more than to divide his family, that he couldn't rest until we were one, that he didn't want his son walking down the aisle with such turmoil amongst all the family members....my father in law who is quite an unforgiving soul said 'we all did things we regret..I'm glad you came...we hugged and I left...if ever I felt our loved ones walk with us on earth it was this incident that makes me believe we do have earthly angels watching over us in our time of need....

Roger had always wanted me to have a craft room of my own, he was proud of my achievements soooo it was yet another thing that was left unfinished so, with the help of friends/family I build a room, almost all glass overlooking the water with side area for hot tub and now his dreams were fulfilled..gave me a sense of peace..broke..but at peace....

So, now I'm still working, but life seem to be taking on a routine of it's own, but I'm lonely...friends try to get me out but it's almost like there's yet one more chance for a visit from Roger and if I'm not home I'll miss it...as stupid as that sounds..it plays a big impact on my life...I know it's illogical, but to me, it's a possibility....

My son Jeff moved home from the city after Roger's death and stayed with me for 2 years travelling each and every day to University..Greg & Melanie lived with me as well for about 6 months..but now, it's time they go on with their own lives...

Well that's enough of the babbling for today...Part 4 (probably the worst is yet to come...)

You know, at this point it might take me awhile to open myself up...but will..just need a little while...
you are all great friends for listening...



From that day, we continue to talk, maybe not every day but we do keep in touch...-+

It doesn`t sound illogical but I believe if yours or his guardian angel came to visit, that they would go with you or appear wherever you would be. There is probably no need to settle anything now that the family speaks and the wedding is over. If he is in heaven, he won`t want to be back here, he`l be waiting for you in a gorgeous garden near the crystal waters.

Wow, shouldn't read out of the order, but I couldn't help it. Betty, what an amazing person you are, you're so loyal and thoughtful of others, and now I can see that you probably developed that from a very painful place. But nonetheless, it makes you a truly unique person.

subject change here, but here are the kitty photos for you, and especially for Betty.....
My one pound ball of fur....JAZZ....