Concerning a recent removal of a member: knotimpaired

Yeah right!

(Hey Dave, isn't this just the proof you need that we really need to have chat more often???)

We really can't help it. sigh..
sorry for the thread hi-jack Dave.

thought it needed lightened up a bit :-D we do all love and appreciate you

I said get out of my head!

I love Dave too!

*elbowing Janis out of the Dave appreciation line*

BRAT *elbowing back* no fair, I was brown nosing first!!!!!

LOL
=^..^=

You can keep your nose out of this!

*elbowing the brown nose and making it turn purple*

Dave!!!!!!!

She hit me!!

I'm pouting now. Gonna take chocolate to bring me outta my funk

What a whiney tattle tale!

Here ya go, ya big baby!

Godiva even!

*sniffle sniffle*
Dave...... now she is trying bribes!!

Nah nah nahhhhhhhhh nah na nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

BTW I don't like nuts in my chocolate :-P~

That means you Gayle!!

Bratty, whiny, tattling and now PICKY too??

Sheesh....the things we have to put up with just to get good gardening advice!

(And I would love to be a fly on Dave's wall right about now! Or maybe not!!)

*sticking nose up in the air*

I'm off to bed, she says with just a touch of sarcasm
so blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*bleah to you too*

Snotty Brat!

We could have kept this off here if we had chat to play in, ya know!

Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint Hint

Its a little weird not to know what it is that caused the fury and therefore, not know what to avoid posting.
I assume its people getting overzealous in their political views, but a hint would be helpful here.
I'm relatively new, enjoy the site very much, have never even witnessed one of these controversies. Occassionally, like now, I come across these vague references to a previous controversy and its unsettling not to know what the unacceptable behavior was at least in a general way.


Dave

Dave even weeds out 'indoors'. He NEEDS to keep his garden 'weed-free', both indoors and outdoors. Yes, removing members becomes a tricky decision, but with substantiate reasons only, that must be done for the good of the group. I must say, well done, because, such actions hold water always.

Dinu

Dave47 read the acceptable use at the bottom of this page for guidance.
Sidney

MG behave yourself.

Woofens don't reach for those chocolates she has a sting to use to pull them away just as you do. Or the box is empty.

MG behaving???? I think she is just trying to get rid of some excess family members before TG inside that chocolate.

Please bear with me as I mix a few metaphors.

These situations are a little like someone being dismissed from their job. Most of us have been either the terminated, the terminator, the friend, the co-worker, or just an onlooker to the process. How the matter is handled gives us some insight into the character of the people involved.

The employee who goes out with their head held high, remains on good terms with former co-workers, and refuses to gossip about the situation are the true "class act."

Those who have to be escorted out by security, kicking and screaming threats and obscenities the whole way....well, the scene is certainly hard to ignore (entertaining for some, distressing for others); afterwards, everyone just hopes they calm down and don't come back looking for more trouble.

Those who try to subvert their friends and former co-workers and make them choose sides are just as dangerous as the screamers, but the danger isn't immediately apparent. However, their goal is to to permanently mar or even destroy the relationships of those left behind by planting the seeds of doubt and distrust and with rumors and a one-sided portrayal of how they were wronged. (Real friends don't ask friends to "fall on the sword" for them ;o)

The employer who badmouths an employee to other co-workers ironically loses the respect and trust of those he/she tells. (Down deep, we all know if a person will gossip WITH you, most likely they'll also gossip ABOUT you.)

The ethical employer won't stoop to "dishing the dirt" even to stop the rumor-mill. In a similar fashion, Dave has taken the high road with this regrettable situation, even though his refusal to air his side of the story has probably given a toehold to some seeds of discord that were scattered in the wake of Knotimpaired's departure.

Hopefully the seeds are few and were cast on thin soil, with nothing to sustain them long-term. But it's up to us - do we feed and nurture those thorny weeds by spreading more "fertilizer", or do we choose to ignore them and let them wither while they're still small, harmless seedlings?

I don't believe anyone could possibly have said it better, Terry. Well done.

I never met that particular member, but I do know that Dave thinks alot about how to handle certain situations and people before taking action. As he said in his originally post, he tries to gently lead members into compliance. He does. He's had to do it with me, because as someone else mentioned, hormones can really effect people, and also, sometimes people take things written wrong because you also need to hear the tone of voice of how it was written, which you cannot do on an internet site. I appreciate Dave's judgement and how he has handled everything thus far. As far as people who like to bicker, argue or cause a big scene, there are always the Yahoo message boards that you actually have to have a strong stomach to visit. They used to be fairly decent - discussions on news articles, with different opinions - kind of like debate. They are now a playground for immature people with nothing better to do than to insult people and be extremely vulgar. If you're that type of person - have at it. :-)

Imagine trying to be a parent figure to 191,000 children?

OMG lol nap... i have a hard enough time being a parent to 4 :)

LOL! Like babysitting......... I was in that position once when years ago I was a bartender at a local VFW. I was trying to take a break from secretarial work and thought it might be fun...... NOT! (If you are a VFW person, please don't take offense - not everyone behaved badly - just as in here).

This is like our own gardens there are weeds in all of them, they just have to be weeded out from time to time. Dave has always done an excellent job of weeding this garden. I have never had any reason to doubt his weed control. I'm positive its environment friendly.

"Leadership qualities" are gifts that the selected lot come with. Dave belongs here. Aside from weeding, he's seeing to it that it's "organic" too!

Dinu

I've been here since 2001 and can happily say in all that time I've never known Dave to make a final decision against the best interests of the membership as a whole.

They might not always suit the individual, you can't please everyone but Dave and Terry bend over backwards time and time again trying to accomodate as many people as possible, far more than many other people would. Frankly, I think we live the virtual life of luxury here at DG, sometimes people don't seem to realise it.

It's always discomforting when we have a banning, I don't know the member involved but it always stirs up my natural curiosity as to why and I'm sure thats true for a lot of people. At the end of the day, I don't need to know and in a months time it probably won't even register without some memory effort.

We don't have many bannings here even though loving our neighbours doesn't always come easily, Dave is a lot fairer than many people and gives us all more than an ample chance to try.



This message was edited Nov 18, 2005 12:10 PM

If someone has been warned a number of times for the same thing and still chooses to ignore those warnings then Dave has the tough decision of removing them. I am confident that it is Not pleasant for him, but he Wants to keep this site enjoyable for everyone. That to me is Very Fair.

Being a newer member of DG, I myself have been on the receiving end of a couple warnings. It was explained to me what I was being warned about and why, I appreciate the fairness of being given a warning. If I don't know I have done something wrong I cannot correct it. I sincerely apologized and it was over with. It's then up to me to make sure I heed that warning,,,,I don't want to cause problems, be a nuisance to others or offend anyone. I want to have fun,,,that's why I subscribed in the first place.

Dave,
I know it isn't fun to make some of the decisions that you have to make. Thanks for being fair with all of us.

Kelly

Has anyone else attended a certain other (popular, diverse, and presently unnamed) forum place on the internet and realize just how off-putting it is at times; there are entire forums of rude people fighting with eachother in what used to be a discussion about a harmless aspect of gardening. This is what it would be like without our gallant protector.

Notice how Dave's Garden's members are inclined to start presenting subjects far beyond gardening: Here is a community of unusually nice foks in general who have human concerns for eachother and offer eachother the greatest support.

This is la creme de la creme, ladies and gents.

K. James

I love it here because it is a peaceful haven away from a world of bickering and fighting and I truly appreciate everything that Dave and Terry do to keep it that way. Three cheers from little ole me for the tactful and fair way this site is handled.

Edited to say a great big thank you to Trish also.

This message was edited Nov 19, 2005 7:19 PM

In addition to patting Dave and Terry on the back, I think Trish deserves one as well. So this one's for you Trish...((PAT))

I give a pat on the back, actually several pats, to all three, Dave, Terry and Trish.

I personally am very happy to have some looking out for our best interests.

DonnaS

I have to agree that Dave and all administrators here really work their tails off for us and that when it comes to offenses they really do everything possible to not remove anyone from the family. I dont think I had any offenses that sound like what drdon was alluding to but I have personal experience with the fair and even handedness of Dave. Everytime I I log in I am grateful that they take the time to give you warnings and considerations. When what I had done was brought to my attention it also helped me to remember that something I thought was ok/funny/ect. might not be taken the same by someone else and kept me from getting totaly and I think uncharactuisticly(sp?) obnoxious. Im very glad my apologies were accepted and the offenses were put behind us.

Thanks again you guys for our "Home" and all the great things Ive learned here wich includes so much more than gardening.

LOL, now Im trying to think of something silly to say but my brain just is NOT working today. I think I need more coffee.

Here ya go, Dravencat -

Dave, Trish and Terry make me feel like a well pruned rose :)

Well, there hasn't been THAT much pruning, but I appreciate the little there was - it was gentle.

I'd like to ditto the above for my appreciation of what a great community Dave, Trish and Terry have created. I recently met a Brazilian who lives in a part of the world where gardens are rare because of the expense of seeds and plants - am hoping we'll hear from him when he returns home.

Running a small Private group is hard.
Running this monster seems unbelieveable to me.

I think I've been nudged a few times.
Also, amazingly to me, I've received nicely worded posts from the Admin. when I have errored in posting in PF.
Not form letters but real Dmails.

Admin. clearly cares about the tone and quality here.

If anyone gets the chance to repent or recant and decides not to....then I can see no other recourse than to Fire them.
Trust me I've been on many other Forums where the first warnning never even comes.
It's Disney first.

Sorry it had to come to a banning but hey.........
Knowing that it was a hard decision for you Dave
actually makes it easier on the rest of us.
That you chose to explain your reasons makes you a stand up guy in my book.

I am sorry you were put into the position where you had to make the decision, Dave. I am sure the decision wasn't made casually and I am proud that our leader is able to handle the results of the decision quitely and privately. It is much to your credit, as is the attitude and climate around DG. Thank you, peace is wonderful! Dotti

Dave, Trish, et al
I have been off for a while because of having back surgery, so missed what was going on. I want to add my thanks for all the hard work you put into this. I can't imagine having to read all the stuff you have to read in order to maintain the site in its original stated purpose. Warnings are just that, and if not heeded the consequences follow. Thank you for all you do for the rest of us.
Diane

Having at times been the "terminator", I know what a heavy decision that can be. I also know what it's like to give support and try to help people to make the changes that are necessary. When those changes won't be made, in the end we must choose what is best for all. I have no idea of the details (nor are they any of my business), but I feel completely confident that Dave made the only choice he could.
~Angela

As a newbie, I'm grateful for the peacefulness/kindness/humour/generosity of this site - no wrangling, abuse, nasty comments, etc - just lots of great info, nice people and funny things to read!
Choose the behavior, choose the consequences...it's unfortunate that someone has to go that far, but some of us are just slow learners, and/or a power struggle gets in the way.
Thanks to all the staff for making this the great place it is!

I did not know her bur enjoyed pictures of her island home. Have no idea what the controversy was, but trust that all's well that ends well. Have also been reminded (in my case, in wake of Katrina, no pun intended) of acceptable use policy, sometimes it is difficult not to comment here on injustices we perceive in the world at large. I believe that one purpose of gardening is to seek refuge from the stresses of every day life. I am enjoying the friends I've made on these pages. I do wish I had saved the thread on polishing sea glass.