Coffee and...Part 33...! :-D

Session #32 (Started Sept 24, 2005)

Thank you for the new thread. It's been a challenge for me the last couple of days to keep up with it. I have obviously missed nuances in skimming the posts, but I detect Maria's feelings of guilt. I hope they will be resolved soon, but if they aren't, you might be wise to talk with a counsellor of some sort. Sounds to me like you did everything you could at the time. But there comes a time that you also have to think of yourself if caring for a loved one becomes too difficult. And if the loved one is in good hands, there should be nothing about which to feel guilty. I know life doesn't always work like that, but I'm sure you did what was wise.

The Food Bank which I run had its annual yard sale today. We were blessed with excellent weather and collected over $1700 Cdn. ;-) selling other people's junk. The real challenge is to continue operating in the days before the sale as all that junk takes up a lot of space in our building.

And a couple of days ago, I had a huge pile of garden soil dumped on my front lawn. Too much really. With the help of one of our Food Cupboard clients, we got it all moved by this afternoon; though some of it is piled up in gardens, awaiting space to spread it out. I've done a lot more early season cutting back than usual because I'm moving so many plants around. Should be able to get the remaing Hostas from my trade with Sanannie planted this week. We also chopped away at the old day lilies which I wanted to get rid of. I had way too many ordinary tall, orange ones all mixed up with the roots of a tree we took down two years ago. Given the nature of day lilies, I expect that it will take a few years to get rid of them, but I'd like to fill in with some of the newer, smaller cultivars once I do. The new garden around my oak tree is now piled too high with soil. We will spread it some more and hope that it will settle quite a bit, but may move some of it elsewhere. The main thing is that the pile of dirt is off the lawn.

Ann

Man, my fanny is going to sleep - I gotta get up and move around. DH, DS, DGS just came home from another shopping trip. They bought lumber for a workbench today and a new faucet for me - however not the one I asked for. They thought the one I wanted was 'cheesey' - I'm not saying a word about it. DS was overly nice to me (I think DH told him I was ticked!!) Invited me over for food, asked me to come see his new tool chest, then said just come over and sit with us for awhile. Of course, since I've dug myself into a big HOLE, I refused all offers... as soon as the sun shines, I will be a happy camper again!!

I cannot imagine caring for someone 24/7 - there's a reason I'm not a nurse- I don't have patience at all with adults - I only have tons of it with children. Hats off to those that care for others...they humble me.

I"m thinking of getting myself some food- but can't decide exactly what I want. I've gone to the cupboards a dozen times looking for something that sounds good- just finished a container of butterscotch pudding. Since I finished up all the scones, I can't even touch a little sweet - darn. Maybe I will run to the store and buy myself another tub - just for me!!

Oh, I just remembered - I hid a can of cashews in my underware drawer - be back later.....

Thanks for the hugs all. There's days I sure do need em. Working has really helped me in many ways - gets me out of the situation to where I can be just me with no baggage if I don t wanna share it. And also, I am pretty much unavailable at work because of the confidentiality issues. The ofc will only take notes from a caller, never confirm even whether we are present or not so if I forget to look at the note board or don't have time on break to call, I am FREE for 8 to 10 hours. It's good for me and also for him, to stop being so dependent on me. I am his crutch and the wood is getting old and weak (rotten?) lol Lately we've had a lot of good days and that's wonderful!

Maria, my dad was a lot like ur Richard. There's wasn't a thing he wouldnt do for mom. And if we ever spoke snotty to her or didn t listen, wow, we KNEW we were in for 'it' if he ever heard about it. I can only remember once or twice in my whole life that he was exasperated with her. Such a wonderful marriage they had. And he took care of her 24/7 for 12 years till she died. At the same time, he was caring for his dad in the other half of the duplex and then he battled cancer the last 6 years of her life. We were really concerned sometimes that it was too much but he would never admit it or allow us to arrange for extra help. He did let his sisters come and clean house once a week and everytime any of us kids were home, we took over cooking and laundry and grocery shopping while we were home. He hated the grocery shopping!

love the menopausal mother nature also!!

Went to the local winery this morning and helped crush 4 tons of Merlot grapes. (about 400 gallons) Half the volume of last weeks crush. He was also putting Golden Muscat grapes on racks. Hand picking every clump for any grapes with cuts or splits, I suppose to reduce the chance of spoilage. Then he blows air over them for 5 weeks to reduce the water content and makes a wonderful sweet dessert wine.

DW left to go to the GD's soccer game, then DS and wife are taking her out to a birthday dinner. That gives me a lot of time to search out a suitable birthday card and present. Difficult now because that D&#% knee is killing me when I have to use the clutch on the truck.Cry, cry, cry. Tried to think if there was a particular event which may have led to this situation. Must have been a 'knee jerk' reaction to something .

Have some crescent rolls that need to be opened and used. Fruit roll-ups or something like that sounds good. Hmmm, caramelized apple turnover things might not be too bad. Add a scoop of French Vanilla ice cream, some cinnamon sauce and a glass of cold milk (1% of course) and there's dinner!

Gotta go shift gears. Be good and remember that at any point in time you are the best that you can possibly be, Better at some other time maybe, but not at this instant.

((((Maria))))...........((((Kooger))))...........
you all got me feeling sorrowful,
I think it is time for a ((((((((((group)))))))))).
So glad you all are my cyber friends.

Joy

Gee guys, I have sat here and alternately laughed and cried. Loved the comment about menopausal mother nature. Never thought about it but it sounds familiar!!Just want to get sappy for a moment, I couldn't ask for better cyber friends than this group. You keep me half-way sane (on some days)

Aria, I am sure that your DH wears a crown now. He was a saint on earth, now an angel. We need those kinds of people in our lives. Don't have one in my immediate family, but I know several. When I feel low, I arrange to be around them for awhile, makes your problems somehow seem smaller. A man who knows when a woman needs a hug is something really special.

Kooger, kind of know what you are talking about. DH is a recovering alcoholic, and the first years of our marriage were pretty rough. He has been hospitalized several times for nerve issues. His dad was killed in a tragic accident, in 73 and older brother was shot to death by a BIL that some year. That was a major nervous breakdown. Was suicidal at that time. Hang in girl, tie a knot. Or I understand about the wood getting rotten.

Sarv, you deserve your snit!! I can't believe that someone didn't clue them in. Don't you have 2 DIL'S? That's what they are supposed to do, keep the calendar of events and remind DS. Just go out the first of the week and buy you something glorious. Make it extravagant, that is my own form of revenge!!

Viola Ann, I want some of your dirt. Been trying to get some, but has just never worked out.

Balvanie, I actually laughed out loud about your sore knee being from a "knee jerk" reaction. Must have been a doozy. Gee I wish my DH had any interest in cooking or baking. I trained DS from the time he was about 3 to cook. He is a better cook than I am. He is so inventive. Just thinks up combinations and does it. Of course he has had some failures also.

Well we went to the Country Ham Festival about 50 miles from home. Met some of DH friends which we do every year. About 10 of us gathered for the breakfast, talked and reminesced. Breakfast was good, so good in fact that we have not eaten anything since then. Will have something in a little while. It was very hot, so we didn't walk around much at the flea market or the crafts. Came home about mid afternoon, and had a rest.

I have just returned from watering everything. They are predicting rain from Rita for the beginning of the week, we sure need it.

Well I will probably check in later in the evening to see what you all have talked about. I am fair game, since I will be absent.!!

The Ham Fest sounds like fun. Read something somewhere sometime that if everyone was to toss their troubles in a basket and draw out one they would take their own back, or something like that. Notice how precise, accurate and to the point I am!! Creeping senility or a male menopausal brain warp. So, the apple thing with the carmel sauce tastes very good. Dough was a bit too soft, would have liked to have it more 'biscuity' or short, but it will do for a fast fix. Rest of the day and evening is for quiet reflectiveness, a scotch and soda (or more) and taking time to read a mystery for a change.

Well, I am back and I see that no one discussed me. Does that mean that I am not interesting enough to talk about? LOL. Had a neighbor stop in, his mom had a "heart event" last night. They were supposed to go with us to the Festival today. but didn't respond to the door bell. Just like last Wednesday when we overslept, so after waiting about 15 minutes, we went on by ourselves.

Man that Country ham was salty. I just can't get enough to drink. That coupled with the hot weather we are having, I feel like a blimp tonight.

Balvanie, the dessert sounds wonderful!! The only thing DH knows to do with an apple is to slather peanut butter on it and eat it. Of course he appreciates the cobblers that I make. He says if it has sugar in it, it is good.

Well folks, slept more last night, so I am off to try to repeat. 2 nights in a row, that will almost be a record.

Hope sleep comes quickly, and dreams are sweet.

Good Night All.

Hi all gobs and apprentices. It looks like Rita has skimmed past the edge of Dallas so I should be ok to go on vacation tomorrow. Won't be around for about 10 days ,so y'all behave y'a hear? ;>)))))

Aria, your description of your DHs last illness brought back such vivid memories of my dear Dad. He used to fall asleep in his breakfast too - its part of the illness, but its somehow very irritating for those around. My Dad too didn't die at home, and that is a great sorrow, but there is a point when one person alone just can't cope. There are things that need more physical strength than one person has. It is a very cruel lingering illness, I pray that I will not go the same way, here today, gone tomorrow, would be my favoured way of departing.
Dad was one of the most caring and considerate people I have ever known. He believed that his life would count as worthwhile if no other being was worse off for his having lived, and at least one person was better off. He has been gone for 6 years now, but I do so miss him still. My son is very like him, both physically and in his ways, its almost uncanny. They were very close too when Dad was still here.

Off to bed now, early start tomorrow.

Carol

Ann, I had lots of help to over come the loss of my husband, will always miss him but now I can talk and write about him without that constant crying, but your advice is excellent.

Defoe, you had some sadness in your life too but I hope you have overcome it, it is good to meet up with happy people, I know that has helped me a lot, have been fortunate to know quite a few.

I made a Plum coffee cake today, sometimes I make it with other fruit like apricots or blueberries, took some to my daughter but left enough for you if not now have it tomorrow morning with your coffee or tee.
Joy, I feel like you it so wonderful to have friends that are putting up with some of us.

And, Kooger is it not wonderful to have had and known a great father?
by the way I do not like anything salty, Defoe

Robert, like scotch once in a while but it has to be a single malted
and straight LOL
Maria

I couldn't get on the puter most of the day because..........

IT WAS RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We've got over 2 inches in the rain gage. Mostly a nice gentle soaking rain, but of course, every time I had to leave the house it started to pour hard.

But oh no, I'm not complaining. I'm relishing the rain. We needed it so badly. And in view of what's happening south, I'll take my gentle rain.

~ViolaAnn~ We had a nice big dump truck load of dirt delivered in June. There is still a bit of it next to the driveway. Wow that is work. I'm blessed tho, I have a 14.5 year old son to shovel for mom.

~sarv~ I'm so sorry, I'm so mad for you I could just spit on them all. How about you have a dozen pink roses and a spa gift cert delivered with an unsigned card. Then you can go around and thank every single one of them for their thoughtfulness. "Oh, you didn't send it? Hmmm I wonder who loves me this much then!"

~kooger~ I don't know what to say, but {{{kooger}}} and *waves west* Hi again neighbor!

~bal~ The I Love Lucy eppy with her crushing the grapes by foot just keeps popping into my head. And after living in the grape fields of Germany for 3 years, I know how they really do it. Still hard work. There was this "new wine" fest we went to for 2 years. Oh how I wish I could find a comparable wine here. The closest I've come is a sweet dessert wine. BTW, I admire your renovation skills very much. We will be replacing all our windows in the next few years, and I'd much rather you did it, lol.

~Joyous~ Hi, nice to meet you. *smiling*

~defoecat~ Your Ham Fest sounds like fun. If it was really salty I'm betting it was cured instead of smoked. I love smoked country ham. There is a butcher about 40 miles from us where we take our deer to, he has the best smoked anything. We buy a half a hog every year when we get our taxes back. Always get a few extra smoked hams for sandwiches, picnics and breakfast steaks. I save all the scraps I can and make ham and bean soup. Yum. I hope you had pleasant dreams.

~okus~ I really hope you enjoy your vacation. May no bad weather or anything else spoil your plans. Come back refreshed and ready to roll.

~aria~ Yummm Plum coffee cake. I'm snitching a piece right now, but I'll save it to savor with my coffee in the morning. Thank you very much, it smells delish!

I just had to post this pic. If the temp had been colder, the rain we got today would have been this!

night now,
mg

Sarv, I just have to copy this part of morning_gayle's post. It sounds like the absolute perfect thing to do.

**~sarv~ I'm so sorry, I'm so mad for you I could just spit on them all. How about you have a dozen pink roses and a spa gift cert delivered with an unsigned card. Then you can go around and thank every single one of them for their thoughtfulness. "Oh, you didn't send it? Hmmm I wonder who loves me this much then!" **

I think you should, I really think you should. And never tell it was you yourself. I think it is just perfect. ~Blooms

Morning everyone - went to bed at 8:30pm and got a full nights rest- that is unusual for me didn't raise my head until 6:30am.

The spa idea has some merrit, but since I am in my 'silent' mode, nobody would know. I don't really think I am a 'spa' kinda person. Now if someone would drop off a load of manure- that would really make me smile! Just when I think I will get over this who fiasco, something brings it all crashing back on my head again. I am so da** mad at the whole kit and kabootle of them - I can hardly think straight. Going out and spending tons of $$ isn't any solution for me as I manage the 'books' and the bill will have to be paid by me anyhow - somehow just can't see the forest thru the trees right now.

aria= never had plum coffee cake - slip me a piece.

I've been ODing on honey crisp apples- just can't get enough of them - dip them in caramel = oh heavenly. They are out for only two weeks (my orchard man tells me)

Robert- the only drink I really enjoy is kahlua and cream - allow myself two of them. In the summer a whiskey slush hits the spot, but my daily vice is diet coke. Speaking of which, I need to get one for my morning sip.

Okus- have a great time on your vacation - we'll miss ya! Think of how much reading you'll need to catch up on when you return. LOL

defo - yum a ham fest. Never been to one. We do get ham/bones in them and I agree- there is nothing better for pea soup!! The last pot I made I used all split peas - I usually do have whole, half split. I liked it but DH thought it was rather mushy. Nothing better than a bowl of it with some crusty bread hot otta the oven.

mg- rain coming here too. We had it all day on Fri and I cannot believe how our
lawn went from crispy brown to lush green already. In fact, we need to mow now!! It's cloudy and cool here - seems like fall has arrived overnight - how does this happen??

vio- We had 5 yards of woodchips dumped in our back yard -two years ago!!! I never in a million years thought wheelbarrowing it would be so hard. Lucky you for a helper!! Do you rent him out?

Think today I will go to the greenhouse and pull out the weeds that sprouted there. I cannot believe they lived in there all summer = it was stifling hot in there and no rain. I need to fine me a radio to crank on - where's the batteries when ya need them.

Well, need to turn the tv on and see how things are going with Rita. I heard there is 9 more weeks of the hurricane season - oh glory - hope no more big ones show up

Sarv, ((( ))) I know all to well where you are coming from. My DD would almost get physical with her dad because he would never remember B'day, anniv. or any of the other holidays. She really went to bat for me. Now that she has moved away she doesn't remember and he does. This year I asked for and got a 5 yard load of mushroom mulch that still pretty much lays in the yard. Everything is so dry it seems to just suck up what little moisture we have gotten but I will have it for the spring. I have finally come to realize the he doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or chase skirts so I should be thankful. But it is sometimes so hard to remember. He is just like his father in so many ways and get this he couldn't stand his father. When I get really upset I call him 'Stan' which was his dads name. Since he is a get even type of guy he calls me 'Dorothy' my moms name, but it doesn't bother me a bit I love her so.

Every once and a while I see a glimps of something very good, when we travel he opens the door for me and helps me up into the truck. So I keep trusting. I know I have never been a gem to be with and being very large not something you can proudly dangle on your arm but we keep on keeping on. Really, after 35 years who in their right mind would ever want to break in a new one.

We are finally getting rain right now. We have not had any since we got 3 inches from Katrina and only fits and spurts all summer. They predict rain for tomorrow also.

Nuf said, Joy

Good Morning, everyone!
First time since early spring I have been cold and still am and could not get to sleep, now it is only 45' and am wearing my wooly robe, but a beautiful day is coming up.

Had to chuckle, Joy, about who would ever want to brake in a new one after many years of marriage! I always wondered myself. What is mushroom mulch? Never heard of it.

Blooms, LOL that is something I would do LOL, that will fix him, Sarv, take Blooms advice!
Maria

Joy - your message hit home - who WOULD want to break in a new one- not me!! Mine also doesn't smoke, chase skirts, gamble, always is home, pretty much lets me buy what I want - but he does indulge in his brew -but not often. He will be remorseful for several days (like he always is), but the scene will repeat itselt - that is what really infuriates me - SLOW LEARNER OR WHAT? I can't believe he likes these spells either! Now my DS's will never know what was the matter - they are in their own little worlds and just embarking on new houses, new families, so dear old mom is not in the forefront of their minds right now - and I do understand that (grudgingly tho) My sister tells me that when they are old they will realize how much I've (we've) done for them. Gads, can I wait that long!! LOL. Oh I call DH "phil" - his do nothing brothers name - that always causes an uproar. I would love to be like my mom - so he can call me Donna anytime he wants!!

Ok GOB - here's the plan. On Monday I am going to the store where I saw the armoire that I want - I will only buy it on sale, but will ask for a sale price if it is not on sale - all they can say is no! It's not something that I have to have TODAY, but am willing to wait. Now that I have a plan, I feel better.

In our local paper there was an article on depression. Gosh was it good! The guy (who is local) and a fine upstanding citizen told his story. He said instead of sitting around wallowing in your own sorrow, get your butt off the chair and DO SOMETHING - just anything!! So today I am going to plant muscara bulbs instead of waiting for some cold blustery day to do it. It is supposed to rain today, so I better not dilly dally too long on here!

I did get myself one of those indoor thermometer things. We have one in our lower level and we both just LOVE it - I got another or our upper level and it works off the same sending unit as the lower one. What a plus!! If you don't have one of these things -= get one - they are the berries - only 15 bucks too. Just remember to get the WIRELESS ones.

DH is installing the new faucet now (not the one I wanted however) so I am going to leave the room and keep my mouth shut - a new working faucet is better than a leaking one I guess. But this is what I want to tell him:
"You spent $200 +bucks to get your boat fixed (that you only use once a year), but I can't spend $180 bucks on a faucet that I use every single day?" Ok, now that I've said it to all of you, I not say it to him...maybe.....LOL

aria, you did everthing humanly possible ---- no need for any guilt whatsoever, but I also know that no matter how many times you hear that, it makes no difference in how you feel.

kooger, I think that you deserve a medal for hanging in there! One of my best friends suffers from bi-polar disorder. I love him dearly, but couldn't imagine living with him. It was bad enough to get the early morning, "hi, I'm in the looney bin again. Could you please go by my house and see whether or not the doors are locked?" phone calls. I'm kind of susprised that he's still among the living.

sarv, I know how it feels. For about twenty years I always bought something for my SO for Valentine's Day and never even got a lousy card! Talk about feeling small ---- I figured I must be microscopic. I've now been with my husband for eighteen years and he might not get everything right, but at least he tries. There WAS one time I was about ready to strangle him, but over the years it's beginning to take on a humorous tinge. He kept trying to convince me that I should have a microwave at my store so that I/we could have hot lunches, etc. I kept telling him that I didn't want one as it would probably just help pile on more weight that neither of us needed, etc. Well, come Christmas, he was all excited. He'd strung ribbon all over the place and had me following it on a "treasure hunt" to find my big present. You guessed it ---- the microwave I'd been telling him for the past 10 months I did NOT want. whoopee

dcat, my hat's off to you too. That's another nasty situation. My youngest brother got himself involved with a woman who was both bi-polar AND alcoholic. That's a pretty common combination, actually. Anyhow, he ended up "running away from home" because it was driving him round the bend too.

Okay, enough. Just because this is a day off doesn't mean that I can afford to sit around all day. See you later.

Hey all, took my mom to church this morning. DS used to do that for me, but he and his girfriend moved this past week to Cincinnati. So DM and I agreed last night that I would take her and go to her church one Sunday, then she could come with me to my church the next. She feels so bad that I am having to do this, so knowing that it will make her feel better, I agreed.

Well after lunch, I am planning on doing some clean up and starting plants to over winter. Will check in later in the day.

McCool, you are so right, but I still can see the tears running down his face, apologizing for being such a big problem and so much work he causes. But I am ok now only once in a while when it comes in waves of being very sad but then I get over it. He would not want me to be always upset.

Wasn't it cold this morning, McCool?

Now Have some of that plum coffee cake, everybody while I go to the store to get the Sunday paper, probably nothing in it that I do not now what with having read the New York times right here on the internet.
Maria

good morning, gobs & gob trainees :)

i've read every word of all the rants
about dh's not meeting expectations.
all i can say is, it's my philosophy
that living with the expectation that
other people, including dh's, are
responsible for your own happiness
will only lead to disappointment &
resentment. we get married with
this idealized mental picture, and
the viewpoint that this
other person is gonna "make" us
happy. well gee, it took me about
a year of marriage to realize that
my husband was NOT an extension
of me, that we were both unique
individuals with lots in common
but not clones of each other, and
that we both had expectations
that aren't always met.

looking back on 28 years of marriage,
i can't tell you how many birthdays &
anniversaries didn't bring balloons,
gifts & romantic dinners - too many
to count. but the very real & way more
significant expectations that my dh
would be a wonderful father, generous
provider, a staunch supporter of my
endeavors, and a rock i could count on
through thick and thin, have always
been met without fail. i am so grateful for that, i
couldn't give a darn for a hallmark card or
a day in a spa.

imho,
marsha

LOL, Marsha, you are so right about most everthing, but if a wife does not have any of the good things a man should provide as yours does and mine did, I would be very upset not to be remembered I am his wife on a daily bases, just somebody to take care of the Lord and Master.
Maria

so true, maria. i speak only from my experience,
can't opine about anyone else. relationships are
as unique as those in them :)

can't believe i missed the plum cake.

marsha

And I can't believe I forgot to hit the watch thread button and spent the whole morning wondering where everybody was!!!

I'm already showered, shampooed, dried and dressed and .........
muddy. DH was puttering around outside in the off and on rain, and foolishly I went out to see what he was up to. That resulted in our digging out one of the Carpet of Flowers rose bushes that was getting crowded out by it's neighbor. That led to Splat and Splash and mud and wet shoes and what was I thinking anyway? Now I'm dirty and slightly damp.....but I'll probably end up out there again so no point in a second clean up until the day is over.

Blooms, you and I thought alike! But since Sarv isn't a spa devotee, I think the armoire is a swell idea. Plus the manure, as frosting on the cake, so to speak. LOL

Mushroom mulch? Is that the stuff they grow domesticated mushrooms in? I bought a kit once, followed the instructions ...didn't see anything going on for the longest time and then forgot about it altogether. The next time I looked at it, I had grown one mushroom. The size of a tea cup!!! Haven't tried that since.

I bought some chocolate covered cake donuts yesterday, so help yourselves before I eat them all myself. Me, I'll have some of Maria's plum cake!! DH came home from the swap meet when it started raining. I told him when he left, " do not buy a car! " and he didn't. He's pleased with whatever junk he picked up so it was a good day for him. I thought he might take me out for breakfast today but it didn't happen. I made omelets, which he never orders but it's what I wanted so that's what I made.

This rain is just what we need, slow soaking sprinkles. The ground under that rose was as dry as dust six inches down. Poor thing, I hope we didn't mangle it too much in the process of digging. This isn't an ideal time to move it but we did. Sarv, yes we are moving mums. The ones we have seem so hardy, and we've done it before and not had any croak on us, so we just go ahead and do it. It's a little iffy, for newer mums but these are 3 and 4 years old and have huge root systems, so I don't worry about them.

The moonflower vine is now interspersed with lots of pink and purple morning glories, and is producing about 6 huge new blooms a day. I hope we don't get frost early because I'm really enjoying it.
Front replanting and mulching is pretty much done, although we'll probably put in some more perennials in spring.

Gonna stick my nose back in that book I started yesterday. Wishing everyone a good day, and somebody else to fix dinner!



.

Morning, although it is nearer to noon. Just got an e-mail from a kennel in Idaho saying a magnificent girl sheltie might be available 'to the right home'. She's about 3 months old and doesn't look like she will be big enough for show competition, but a perfect size for Tinkers playmate. Hope we can qualify.

So much action here that I'm at a loss to keep up. Meezer, glad you had the tractor to help spread the mulch. Now and then heavy equipment comes in handy. Yard looks great!

Still have a bit of apple stuff left, but you better get it before I polish it off. Day of rest today.DW to a football or baseball game in Seattle so me and the dog is tak'in it easy, after I run the dishwasher and clean up the back yard that is.

Good morning/afternoon, depending on where you are and when you come into the kitchen. I should have just said "hello".

I agree with you Marsha that if we base our happiness on what we expect others to do we set ourselves up for major disappointment. So, maybe it would be best to just expect that he/they will probably forget those special occasions again and be happy and surprised when they remember! Aria, I agree with you too, marriage should be a relationship unlike servant/king. I see all sorts of relationships from near failures to near perfect, some of them work out pretty well in spite of all the head clashing, disappointments, etc. I also would not want to start over. I was not raised in an intact family I really had no pattern to follow, but sure saw a lot of pits I didn't want to fall into. God gave me a good man and I know the direction of God has had a lot to do with the success of our marriage. A forgiving spirit and a sense of humor goes a long way to make things go smoothly.

Yesterday hubby and I took the part time dog we keep for friends back to his family who came home this week. It's about a 6 1/2 hour drive one way. We left home about 6:15am and arrived before 1pm to deliver the dog who was very happy to see his people, visited for an hour or so and then headed home, stopping for a nice seafood dinner at about 4pm and arriving back home about 10:30pm. It was a long day on the road. On the way home we saw lots of deer, some of them in the road, 2 skunks ambling along next to the road and a porcupine right in the middle all bristled up and ready to swat us with his tail if we had come too close. On the last 30 miles we only met one car and had nobody behind us so I drove right down the middle. The critters are usually beside the road rather than on it so that gives a bit more space if something should decide to cross when we are driving past it. Deer often see a shadow made by headlights off to the side and move away from it right into the road. We bought regular unleaded gas for $2.69.9 a gallon in the Portland area, about 28 cents cheaper than out here on the eastern edge of the state. Who would have ever thought $2.70 would look like cheap gas.

I talked to my friend in south Louisiana, they are fine, only have minor damage but the creaking, groaning house was not fun during the storm. The last minute zig Rita took brought it closer to them than was expected but it was too late to get out then. They aren't flooded but there is much flooding close by and homes lost. It's so sad that so many people have lost so much, houses, lives, jobs, and peace of mind not knowing if there is another monster storm heading their way soon. Any time is too soon. She says the sound of the wind is still with her and her nerves are frazzled!

Friday I picked about half my grapes and made grape juice all day. Some of the grapes need more time to ripen so I left them on the vines and hope the birds won't eat too much of what is left. So far the deer have stayed out of the garden because I moved a dog down to the end where they jump in. He and his house are next to the outside of the fence and as long as he hears them (getting old and kinda deaf) I think he will keep them out of the garden. Funny, the garden has 4 sides but they always jump in and out on one side. (I'm not gonna tell them).

Well, I have things to dig up and others to plant so I'd better get moving. See ya later.

Hey Mary - tell me again how you did the grape juice. I know someone told me, but I can't remember when or where. Since you just did it, it will be fresh!! I need to pick mine this upcoming week. When I walk by the vines they give off the most delightful aroma.

I made some delish apple bread - oh my, I have already eaten half a loaf while it was warm. Please help yourself!!

I certainly don't depend on my DH for total happiness - just some sort of acknowledgement on my birthday - I think that is only fair (DM always told me life wasn't fair - do ya think that is what she meant? LOL)

Warm, muggy and looking like a downpour is coming = planted 100 muscari this morning.

Hi all, finally back after playing with babies during Sunday School, church, feeding my mom at the home and then buying some food because DS said nothing good in the house no frozen pizza or ramen noodles. Boy now I have spoiled two of them. lol. We used to always tease my mom and call her Edith because she would always jump just like Edith on Archie Bunker now it seems like I am third generation!

Aria, mushroom mulch is what mushrooms are grown in down in Pennsylvania. The Mennonites truck it up here in tractor trailors and sell it at their farms. I have been using it for years and swear by it. I only have one bed that no matter how much I mulch and baby it always seems to be a disaster. I used to get one scoop of a front end loader at a time in our small pickup and then come home and unload it on the hotest humidist day in May fighting the black flies. I have gotten older, smarter or lazier because now I pay to have it delivered. Not necessarily richer!

I know that the Lord is the one who holds our marriage together and I need Him to keep slapping me up side the head to remember how blessed I am. I am blessed and when we have a time to share blessings during church I often say 'hot running water', I think we are all beginning to understand even what a blessing that is.

Must warm up the hamburger soup and make some garlic bread.

Tractor? Robert. sure wish we had a tractor? LOL DH shoveled all that mulch by hand. He's put in a lot of hours between trying to destroy the horsetail, and putting down the landscape plastic and mulch. As much as I grumble, he works very hard in our gardens. And you have a new puppy in the works!! Lovely. Shelties are just so sweet...will you call her Belle? Then you'll have Tinker+Belle!

Rained all day off and on, everything looks fresh and green. Inside the house everything is sticky and damp, I should put the a/c on just to dry it out. Not good for the electronics. Going out for Chinese, someone's making amends.....or else he doesn't want an omelet for dinner....................

Back home, safely (well, physically anyway)! Mother's ashes are still in the backseat of the car... The Blue Ridge Roundup Saturday was fantastic, perhaps because we were small in numbers so got to know each other over the day.

Plus, Downscale_babe (Nancy) put out a fantastic Middle Eastern lunch buffet... Shis-kebabs, hummus, tabouli, baba ganoush, and my favorite I've not had in years, grilled pita with zatar and olive oil (sesame/herb mix)... plus many many other side dishes both from her and contributed.

Lots of threads to catch up on...

Loved the Menopausal Mother Nature and Blooms'

Okay, pull up a chair and grab a plate - the cornbread will be out of the oven in just a minute. The butter (real butter), sorghum molasses ( pure sorghum, not mixed), fig preserves, and pear preserves are all on the table. Eat it while its hot!

ginni

Missed you,Darius!!
Ginni, I'll be right there, yum yum
Maria

Glad you're home safe, Darius.....

Glad to hear you are back safely Darius, and condolences on the loss of your Mom.

Sounds good Ginni. Is the sorghum molasses much different from the "Brer Rabbit" bottled stuff we get in the market ? I would imagine so, but this is the only kind I've ever seen.Butter & cornbread with molasses and/or preserves--delish.

Meezer, "Tinker", is short for Tinkerbelle, so the new girl, if we are lucky enough to get her, will already have a kennel and AKC name, but we can call her whatever we want. Just sent photos of the yard and Tinker 'for approval', and will get references from the Vet tomorrow. If it is meant to be things will go smoothly, if not then it wasn't the right match. As a fuzzy headed old reprobate I seem to have a lot of faith in 'unseen forces'.

Hooray, only hours till the Clinic opens and we can see what's going on with my knee. Orthoscopy(how do you spell it?) did wonders for the other one. Now the ache is in the big toe too. DW (the nurse) says its probably gout. Hey, enuff's enuff. Dear Her and friend had to drive to the game as a rock-slide closed the tracks and all train traffic was canceled. Hope the pre-paid tickets are refundable. Well the back yard is cleaned up and mowed. Sure looks a lot better.Varathane is dry so a light sanding with steel wool and I can put the window trim up. Sarv, I just happen to have some Kahlua and cream, will have a tot for you this evening in remembrance of your birthday and the fact that there were still some cashews in your undies drawer.

Maria,what could be better than to sip on a good Single Malt,neat, on a cold winters night, beside the fire, with some nice Chamber music. It would almost make the freezing snowy winters enjoyable.

Decided we should go out to a nice restaurant for my sweets birthday dinner tomorrow. The card's OK, but she IS a hard one to buy for. Probably get a nighty too. She had specified brand,style,color and size long ago, so there's no mistake.Ta Ta, Tinker says 'it's for you to feed me'.

Robert, about single malt scotch, chamber music plus a fire we'd get slong very nicely.
Maria

Gee you all have been busy for a Sunday. This afternoon, since it was overcast, I decided to clean some seed that I had gathered and was drying. Got a whole lot of it done. Then had a nice chat with twin Sister. She has had a rough week adjusting to being back from Scotland, and the time thing. She potted up the cuttings that she brought me back from Scotland. So when we go up the first week in October, I will bring those things home with me to overwinter. So I didn't do the things I said I would today. This week seems like an easy week so will tackle some of the cleanup and taking cuttings this week.

Darius, glad to have you back. So the Round up was a success? Just wish you were coming to Ky. this next weekend.

I know that you can't depend on spouse for happiness, but like someone said, we are here 365 days of the year, dealing with all kinds of things, and I don't think that the acknowledgement of a birthday, or anniversary is too much to ask. Even if it is just a "happy" whatever. DH's mother's birhday is this week, and I reminded him today. I know that women are more sentimental, but I like to make sure that DH remembers important dates in his family.

Oh well, I have slept well for the past 2 nights, so I am hoping to go for the record tonight with #3. You guys sleep well, and may dreams be pleasant. I'll check in early in the morning. Good night.

Darius, glad you're home safely.

Joyous, around here we refer to mushroom mulch as mushroom compost. Same stuff, I think. My Hosta nursery suggested using it straight in my new gardens but it would have required about a 2 week waiting period before planting. We're not likely to have 2 weeks before frost; so I opted for soil that was 50% top soil, 25% mushroom compost and 25% black earth. One tip - if you order mushroom mulch or compost, order the "screened" variety. Much easier to work with.

Been a busy day. Not in the garden as it was also rainy, but no time for gardening anyway. My handbell choir played for the first time this season at church this morning. Only two rehearsals and a fair number of them away, but they pulled off an easy piece and an even easier (but impressive looking) processional with colored ribbons flying as they walked in ringing the bells.

The rest of the day was consumed with rehearsals - Ottawa Symphony viola sectional in the afternoon and the whole orchestra this evening - first full orchestra for our concert on Oct. 3 which consists of Mahler's Songs of a Wayfarer and Symphony #1. The rest of the rehearsals will take place next weekend - one on Saturday and two on Sunday.

My pool has just re-opened after being closed for 3 weeks for annual maintenance; so back to aquafit classes tomorrow.

Tuesday looks like the best day to get into the garden in terms of weather. Now I've got that dirt distributed, I've got to plant hostas and move some around.

Getting toward 11:30 here; so best sign off for the evening.

Ann

Good Morning everyone and welcome back to the GOB's Darius. Round up sounds fun - I've never attended one, but hope to one day. Syrian food - brings back memories of growing up. My mom just dropped off two dozen meat pies (syrian) made with lamb and snuba (sp x) beans. Nothing like them in the world!!

I whipped up some apple bread - three loaves. Two came out perfect, but the third fell, so I stuck it back in the oven and it didn't improve - That one will hit the trash today. There is one left - help yourselves - it's good if I do say so myself!!

DS and teacher DIL stopped over yesterday. DS said he heard I was mad about the BD thing (DH must have called him) He told me to quit pouting!! Then he was ticked when he found out the the other son hadn't gotten the gift - LOL now he's mad at his brother!! Kinda funny. DIL and I went to Sam's - spent way too much and didn't really need a thing. Darn, I get so mad at myself when I do that. I always pay for everything and she pays me back, however NEVER has her check book with her- I'll have to wait several weeks - that's annoying to me!

Had a very rich dinner last night and stomach was rolly polly all night...when will I learn NOT to eat that stuff...

Today I think I will take some cuttings- I usually wait until it is cold and blustery outside and suddenly it dawned on me to get it done while it was nice- getting pretty smart in my old age! Only problem is, I don't have any soil on hand and hate to pay full price!! (cheap o here)

M5 - get a tractor!! DH has a big John Deere with a loader, I have a small one with a wagon - both are as important as our cars!! We use our all the time - summer and winter.

Bal - good luck with the knee thing- my dad had gout and it was very painful for him. I remember him getting it in his big toe and his wrist (or was it fingers?) Anyhow he sometimes had to crawl as he couldn't walk. Step father has it too, but he takes meds daily for it - but still does get it sometimes.

tg- never had real molassas either - in fact we seldom eat any of it!! I do make a mean molassas cookie, but the receipe makes enough for an army and I haven't made them in years. (crisp crinkley ones= yum)

Got a load of dishes to wash, so better skeedoodle for now.

Brer Rabbit has sorghum, but its mixed with ribbon cane which is lighter and a little sweeter. Pure sorghum is dark, thick, and has a strong, not so sweet, flavor. Many people don't really like it unless its mixed. I grew up eating the pure and I love it. I often make johnny cakes ( cornbread made like pancakes) and use the sorghum instead of maple or whatever.

Anyway, I've been enjoying mooching off the counter for awhile, and figured it was time to put something out to share with ya'll.

I sometimes feel almost guilty about having things so wonderful for me. So many of you have problems that you handle as a matter of course. I'm sure I would go screaming off to another planet if I were faced with the things some are faced with each day. You are such strong people, who work so hard, yet so often have a smile for whoever needs one. I thank you for the food and the smiles.

I, therefor, declare this SMILE DAY. No matter what happens, I am going to give everyone I see today a big smile. And all of you get a really big grin.

ginni

Thanks for the smile, tgif, we could all use one. Be happy to pass it on as I go through my day. We had a hellacious rainstorm last night, some freeways were closed due to flooding, and many street underpasses were flooded and impassable, plus flooded basements. Aftermath of the hurricanes I suppose, with all that moisture floating around in the jet stream. We were home snug and dry. This morning my cable internet went down briefly,but I'm back on line now. Total rainfall in the area was the most we had this year, after a long draught this summer. Everything looks super green this morning!

Welcome back, Darius, sounds like the roundup was a great time and great food to enjoy.

Good luck with the aaarthroscowhatever Robert! Those visits are never fun but if it brings relief, well worth the time and money.

Since DH just parted with a chunk of dough for the new John Deere riding lawn mower, I don't think a tractor is in our future. Besides, where would we put it? When he mows now, he even wears the free hat with the John Deere logo, that he got for buying the mower!

Dcat, that time warp from travel is a hard adjustment. When we went to Australia, I didn't have a problem with the time change once we were there, but when we got home, it took almost a month before I got back in sync with my normal "clock". Europe is an easier adjustment but still takes a little time. And you got plants! Lucky you!

Some doofus came wheeling around the corner where my DS and DIL live and whacked into her car. I'm going to go pick it up at her job today and get her some estimates, by the time she gets out of work there's a waiting line at the body shops, and with all the paperwork etc. with the house, she's all frazzled so this will give her a break. Aww, rats, I just looked outside and it's raining again. Well, maybe it will clear up by the time I get presentable...maybe pay a visit to Sams too and see if they've got anything I can't live without.

See y'all later


edited for coherance, grammer, spelling, punctuation ...etc.


This message was edited Sep 26, 2005 9:09 AM