Coffee and...Part 32...! :-D

How sad, M5
Maria

I have one of those coming up in 3 days. My DS has been asking me what I want, he's going to the mall.

I say, You Are Going To The Mall to Buy Me A Present????? No more girlie stuff, we need to think harder. (I am not a mall person yall)

For Christmas I received 3 baskets of those Bed, Bath & Beyond assortments. Of course by different people so they were different "flavors". I found a huge wicker basket and put everything into one and it is chock full.

But then I am very difficult to buy for, because my needs and desires are simple. A plant? not this year, I have too many to move as it is.

Well, I reckon he will figure it out.

Molly
:^)))

Blooms...that *is* a great story! :-D

M5...I like yours, too! ROTFLOL

...and then there was time DH bought me a 'little' sleepshirt with the Playboy bunny on front. Of course it didn't fit! (They don't make them THAT big! LOL) and *of course* my boys remember *that* Christmas present and remind DH every year *not* to buy *that* for Mom. hehehe

~julie~

Molly...missed that one. (Posted at the same time) You have got one of *THE* best DS's in the world!

~julie~

Aria- I think you and I are kindred spirits!! I too have saved every card from my DH, BUT also have saved everycard sent to me LOL I just cannot part with them yet. I will do so before I leave this earth as no one would appreciate them but me anyways.

M5 - what a stitch - throwing it in the garbage brings another story of mine to my memory. My DH likes slutty clothes (and I am a turtle neck -sweat shirt kinda gal) Anyhow he bought me a slinky nighty one xmas - red with black lace. I thanked him and when he left for work, burned the darn thing in the wood stove. He kept asking 'where is the nighty' - I told him it was too cold in the house to wear it (heat with wood stove at the time) - after while he forgot about asking. What a waste of $$$$

Got home from my visit with MIL to find DH, DS, and DGS just pulling out of the drive. They left me a note saying they were going shopping and would call me to come over to 2nd DS's house for pizza (YUM) I asked where new DIL was and DS said she had dinner plans...hmmm Know what I reallyyyyy want - one of those ladders that you can bend any which way (I've seen them on TV and they are outrageously expensive!!) But I've seen them at Lowe's for less - (keeping my fingers crossed!!) He will put what ever he gets on the charge card and I pay the bills....oh well, it's the thought that counts!

When I ask DH what he wants, he always names things that I would never buy (new John Deere tractor for example) ya right....

The best gift for me is just to have my family all together laughing and having a good time. That's a pretty cheap gift too!!

Sarv, the last card my husband bought for me was a valentine card in 2004. He asked our daughter to take him shopping for a card, so she put him in the wheelchair and helped him getting the card but he could not write anymore so he had her write down what he wanted but scribbled his name on the bottom she then took him to the florist to give me a dozen red roses.
Maria

Sarv....what's with us? What on earth would *do* with that ladder, anyway? But I'm with you...even if I have to buy it for myself at Christmas, I *will* have one! :-P

Maria...I'll bet the fragrance of those roses lingers in your mind to this day. I know it would be with me forever. (((~hugs~)))

~julie~

I start ripping out ads from the paper and putting them on the fridge about 2 weeks before and "event". Otherwise, everyone who knows me knows that a Lowe's gift card can ALWAYS be put to good use. Plants, pots, soil, seeds, books, fert. My MIL has been giving me a Lowe's gift card for 5 years for Christmas. I buy my annuals in the spring and can enjoy her gift almost all year.

Maria, what a treasured memory. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Still no hummer on my finger pics. She is still sitting on my finger, but I can seem to take a pic without spooking her. I will try tomorrow with dh or one of the kids. JennaRose got to see it this afternoon and snd she just thinks mom is magic. LOL

mg

Julie, now whenever I travel to some other state or country, when I return I find a dozen roses my daughter arrranged to have in my house.

MG,

That post on the fridge reminder thing never works for me. I can't tell you how many "Benefit Tickets" I have bought and put on the fridge (3 months ahead of time) and a week after the concert remembered they were there.....darn!

Molly

P.S. ((((((Morning_Gayle)))))))

Hey Molly, knock it off. I just wanted to help. Let me know if those work or if I need to dig some more. I get bored so easlily, lol.

mg

Well Sarv, let us know what your "birthday gift" is. Lately, DH and I have agreed that what we want for any occasion, we purchase it ourselves!! It's easier than exchanging things, or never using them.

Haven't done much today, went to chiropractor this morning, and he evidently mis adjusted. Was going for my arm and neck, now my lower back is aching. Been sitting with a heating pad all evening!! Maybe his aim was off! Bad thing about it he's not in until Monday. Hope I don't have to go through this all weekend.

DH and I are going to a fall festival tomorrow about 50 miles away. It is called Country Ham Days. There is a huge delicious breakfast, eggs, country ham, fried apples, biscuits, jelly, drinks. You can also get bacon, sausage and gravy. Been saving up for several days for this. In addition they have the neatest crafts. They also have the flea market type things. They are calling for rain tonight, so I hope we get it, and tomorrow is sunny.

Well have a good weekend. I will check in tomorrow after the festival.

Glad you brought up the anniversary thought. Ours is monday ( had to look it up,but I know it's in Sept.) Don't know what to do, probably a card and dinner out. We aren't big on celebrating. After 31 years we're still happy just to be together. (Well I can only speak for myself can't I ). The pastry is in the fridge chilling, the veggies are chopped, the oven is hot. Now if this pastry turns out to be edible we're in luck. Never made one like this. Used lard, reduced 4 C flour to 3, 1/2# lard to a bit less. It feels different from my generally flaky pie crust. 8oz. of goat cheese is ready to pop in too. Off to rock and roll pastry!!!

Before you actually end up owning one of those *goes every which way ladders* go into Lowes and pick one up, carry it to the end of the aisle and try to make it into a shape you want. LOL They are incredibly heavy and difficult to manhandle into shape.

My Mom told me a story about the lady next door [who was her friend]. Seems waay back in the realationship between her and her husband he bought her a leather purse for some occasion. It was an ugly green according to her and she mocked his taste... He NEVER bought her another gift. A card yes. A gift no. ~ learned MY lesson.

Gayle, aint' it great when the kids think we're magic?

Robert, you sure we can't clone you?

Maria, that was a beautiful man you were married to, and he seems to have passed it on to your daughter. I got a lump in my throat over that story. Thank you for sharing it. ~Blooms

Thank you, Blooms, if you only knew how much I miss him and wish I could still take care of him as hard as it was for such a long time. Yes, and my children are just as loving as can be.
Maria

Aria, I know it is difficult for you, missing your husband, especially to read how others don't appreciate theirs. You had a prince of a man, cherish those memories!

Gadzooks! Will I ever learn? Lack of water (I guess) ended in flakey pie crust type pastry. When I want flake I get tough stuff and when I want tough stuff I get flake. Must have thought (rather, didn't think) I was feeding Godzilla and his crew by making two pastys instead of 4 or 5. Well it was an experience. Next time will be better, 'speshaly with the addition of a fruit filled one. Did a 'woopsie'. taint the anniversary, tis dear hers birthday. The wrong card would be a bit hard to explain, but knowing me, she would probably say 'he did it again'. Off to take a pill for my ailing knee, and mebbie a teeny taste of ice cream. Zounds!! who ever heard of a teeny taste of ice-cream? A BIG bowl with hot fudge topping sounds better.
And Maria, Mary is right. Sounds like you married a prince, and he got the princess.

Night all.

Maria...I'm glad you have kids that inherited that kind of love from their father. I agree with Mary..."cherish those memories". After 42 years (in Nov) I've collected many for myself.

MG...I meant to comment on that hummer earlier but I forgot to remember. LOL That's the neatest thing I've every heard concerning a hummer. Except for the one instance when my DH and I had a mateing ritual going on just above our heads...it was quite interesting. But not nearly as much fun as watching the dizzy male fly into our screen door and get his beak caught in the mesh. He didn't seem to be able to figure out how to get lose. But just as I reached to help remove him, he decided he knew where his *reverse* gear was. LOL

Robert's cooking again! (Are we still talking pasties?)

Time for me to go to bed...

Good night Gracie...

~julie~

(...hehehe I guess we were)

~julie~

Bal, I make a fruit pastry for my kids with Grand's biscuits and pie filling. I use fresh fruit when I have it.

Julie, for some reason I don't have any males coming to my feeders. But I'm sure having fun with the little females.

Good night George, lol.

mg

Back from the ball game, the Brewers won 9-6, DH bought me a sody pop and i'm in a better mood. I know I sounded B****y, but I get over it fast. Being of the tender gender I tend to remember the things he does that get under my skin, while he seems to manage to overlook my faults the same way he overlooks being thoughtful. Probably a good thing! He's going to the swap meet again tomorrow and I asked if he was going to be there all day. He said he'd be home for dinner Mwaaahahhaha....what dinner? LOL

My two older kids are great for remembering special occasions, and DS has gotten even better since he got married. He's still in a dither about his new house/old house buying and selling, but he'll get through it like we all do.

Maria, you married a prince, it's no wonder you miss him so much. You have sweet memories though, and that must be a comfort.

How did the pasties turn out, Robert? We need a full report! And a picture if you managed to get one. You are a talented fella!!

Molly, rec'd seeds today! And my red four oclocks are blooming under one of my climbers, so I hope next year I'll have white ones under the white climber! Thank you so much, I'll think of you as they grow from year to year.

Want to see a photo of that hummer on your finger mg, what a treat! I used to do that with butterflies and my kids thought it was magical too....they also thought I had a magic telescope that I could see them with when I was at work, so they were easily fooled. My sitter always called me from home before I got there....! There wasn't such a thing as day care back then.

How about waffles for breakfast, check the counter in the morning. Here's to a good night's sleep for all the restless sleepers.....

Say good night Gracie.....

Multiple simultaneous postings! LOL Robert, flaky is GOOD! Those look delicious! And you mentioned ice cream, well, here I go, off the primrose path again. Hot Fudge topping. Got some.

Night again!

Thanks for having such kind thoughts, Would like to tell you one thing, his minister said: He was a prince of a man, a prince of a husband and a prince of a father and to all his neighbors.
Maria

Aria - you have the life I have dreamed of - a DH who is incredibly thoughful and children who are likewise. Tell me please =how'd you do it??? I lament that mine aren't and fret that it is something I've done!! What a precious story about the roses...(whiping away tears....)

MAJOR WHINE COMING UP-skip if necessary:
ok Gob's -remember I got home just as the 'boys' were leaving- I was sooo excited - thinking - 'I wonder where they are going - gorilla rack - ladder - gift card?' Any would be loved!! Well, went over to DS house and we orderd out pizza (which was fine), divided up the bill (which was fine). Then I waited, and waited and waited. NOTHING>>> Finally when I could stand it no longer, I said 'so did you guys have fun shopping?' They all piped up YA- we went to Sears and DS bought two huge tool boxes and DH opened a credit card to get 10% more off -(laugh laugh laugh from them) I could NOT believe it -nada - nothing- zilch -zero. As I was leaving DIL gave me a card. We drove home seperately and when I got home I laid down fuming......DH comes home and goes in the other room and watches big time wrestling. I am plotting now how to get back at all those crumb bums. Now this is a major whine- AFTER ALL I DO FOR THEM......If I were a drinking woman, I would be flat out drunk....

Oh Bal - wrong card - that would have been a good one to laugh at!! Your thoughtfulness at doing everything around your house we be enough for me to be happy

mg- using biscuits with fruit filling- yum -that sounds like something I could do..

Defoe- my arm is actually paining me greatly now. I don't know what to do about it -I'm about ready to just ask to have it chopped off (kidding of course) It aches no matter which way I lay or even when I am just sitting. I am so sick of always being in pain.

Julie, I'll have to check out the heaviness of those ladders. On TV the guy just throws it around. Since I have no upper body strength, I probably couldn't even lift it. Food for thought.

Got up at 5am to see what was going on with the hurricane mess - plus I have a headache....

Sarv, I could cry for you, what thougthless buggers!!

How did I do it? Guess I just went with the flow of things. We both were very independant people, I stilll am. I never interferred what ever he wanted to do was ok with me and he felt the same way about me.
My parents cared for each other deeply and I learned from them what love between two people was really all about. My mother said to me just before I was to be married: "Maria, you have seen a lot of classical ballet where the couple dance but not always together, each seems to have a different dance by themselves, sometimes they even show anger but they always end up dancing together with incredible joy".
It was a good analogy, at least for me.
Maria

MEN! Sarv - I feel for you.....((((((SARV))))))......I grew up with a father that was extremely giving and always remembered special days. I DID NOT marry a man like that. If I get a card and a happy whatever - I feel blessed. Most the time - I don't get even that - so I know how you feel. It use to bother me a whole lot - but I just started buying my own special gifts and treats and to HE** with him......so - got treat yourself to something. You deserve it - even if it's just a bunch of flowers from the grocery store......

Maria - lovely analogy and so true about marriage.

We had a "red sky" this morning - expecting rain today - partly caused by Rita. Looks like it's done a bit less damage in new areas than Katrina did - but oh the flooding they showed happening again in New Orleans - I think they're going to have to build real dikes around that town to ever hope to rebuild. If there is any good thing - it's that people really took the threat seriously and evacuated - and that's probably because of what happened with Katrina. The Gulf Coast as we knew it is no more.....and the seaon's not over yet.;

Need to get going .....Sarv - go treat yourself now....

Marcia

Perhaps they should look into the Netherlands and how they fixed their flooding problems since that country is sea level
Maria

Got up early (for me...a little before 6) to see what had happened with Rita. At that point there was little info from the Fox reporters other than it wasn't as bad in their locations as had been expected. But, like they say, it isn't over yet. I'm just glad that the people living in all those areas evacuated. Much better to be safe than sorry.

Molly I already told you that I received my seeds...but I neglected to say THANK YOU! LoL (We were talking about other things...hehehe) But I *do* want you to know how much I appreciate the threat of doggie poop, snake skins and Rita that you went through to get them here. (You sound like a tried and true Mail Carrier...LOL)

Maria...I loved the Ballet analogy. It's perfect.

Sarv..."Been there and DONE that" so I know precisely how you feel. Unfortunately, from what I've experienced, there is *no* way to change either the DH or the kids...we only change how we react to it. (I think M5 has the right idea...she gets B****Y and then gets over it. Sheila, do you want to give us lessons? :-D)

Marcia (BB) My DH has been doing the 'buy your own thing' for a long time. Except that he does it (for himself) on everyone else's "day". LOL So he always has a reason to buy *himself* another 'goodie'. (Trust me, I'm getting better at that now, myself! hehehe)

I'm not sure what I'll be doing today. There's cuttings to make, houseplants to repot and a few perennials that I still want to move, but aside from that, I don't think I even *want* to do anything. LOL I think 'laziness' is setting in.

Hey...M5...do you think it would be 'ok' to move some of my mums right now? I was thinking that if I took a large enough ball of soil with each one, it might not hurt. Whaddaya think?

Have a great day, everyone!

~julie~

Maria, you had a gem!!! DH has bought me cards most years and sometimes a gift too. He does put some thought into it and tries to do it, when he remembers, ha ha, without me knowing so he can surprise me. On the flip side, he buys cars, motorcycles, snowmobiles, boats, lawnmowers, saws, etc. when we can and can not afford it while all I have wanted is a small greenhouse for almost 3 decades. I buy almost all used clothes, use no makeup, go to the hairdresser 3 times a year, cut all my kids hair and DH, made most of our kids clothes when they were young, buy few frozen prepared foods, and have no expensive hobbies. I never spend over $100. a year on plants. So I have decided that I am going to buy a greenhouse, as simple as that, no discussion needed, thank u very much. I'm not sure just when, tho. lol

And I'm very sorry that DH suffers from depression, but after trying to 'fix' everything for 28 years, I have finally realized that only he can fix it. He is responsible for his own happiness and I can never fix it for him. I can only support him in his search. After 2 suicidal episodes (I don't enjoy removing loaded guns from his hands), I am drained emotionally and realize I cannot help him, doctors have degrees for that. So I guess that's why I dont post much about DH and my situation. Too much of it is too personal and has too many years of pain attached to it. But I really enjoy everyone else's bickering and whining, makes me chuckle! But not in a bad way u understand, it's just the dynamics of m/f together. :)

And just for the record, I believe at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, the ground is 27 feet below sea level. Or something like that. They said that sea level was at the cockpit window level on a 747. Yikes!

oops, can't spell.

This message was edited Sep 24, 2005 9:13 AM

After watching the Rita coverage, and reflecting on our "weird" weather the last couple of years, I've come to a conclusion.

Mother Nature is going thru menopause, and she is *just barely* tolerating us.

Think about it. Hot flashes, cold sweats, dry skin, irratible. It fits.

mg

Sarv - Chin up and go buy yourself a present girl!
Aria, that is so true. I think thats the way to make things work and survive, you both have to have your own space, and a part of your life that is "yours" if the shared part is going to blossom. If I wanted to do something I did it, I could never understand friends whose other halves 'wouldn't let them do that', why? how? if its not immoral or illegal, or too expensive, that is.
My DH and I are celebrating 41 years together next week with a vacation trip. I planned it and booked it - he moaned - then lt looked like the weather might stop it and he moaned again!! He always does that - you learn to ignore it because underneath he is a really nice guy. I call him my Grumbleweed!!
Off back to the Rita forum, that was/is one nasty storm, I'm glad it is mainly missing us.

Carol (O)

mGayle, I really like the way your mind works. Menapausal Mother Nature !! indeed ! ROFLOL

Sarv, somewhere up there you did list a large number of successful years in your marriage. Must be something right with it.

Life is only 10% what you make it...
and 90% how you take it.

If you can decide to take the way it turned out [the 90% of the equation] with as much of a grin as you can plaster on your face and heart... Life goes easier. And don't waste too much time on the 10% ~ mostly plans, 'cause if you wanta hear God laugh. -- tell him you made plans. ~Blooms

I was married to a gem, Kooger, He never carried more than a few $ dollars in his billfold, he was frugal New Englander with himself but most generous with me giving and giving. But I did want a green house also but never got one, he said you have enough to do as it is LOL It had nothing to do with money, we were fairly well off, he was the president of his own company and a Teacher at School of Design in Prov.RI, and quite an athlete in many sports.
When he was so very ill I still feel a huge guilt for having been very impatient with him. he would not open his mouth for the food I fed him, he squished his sandwhich into a messy ball and could not find his mouth, he would fall asleep with his head in the plate, I would yell 'wake up, please' he would get out of bed while I was sleeping and promptly hit the floor and could not get up I finally connected him with a ribbon and tied it to my arm so I would wake up. And there were so many other things too sad to tell.
Had I been on this thread I would have complained a lot it was so awful. After he died I wanted to do what my father did when Mama died, he commited suicide a month later I was very close doing it but some one helped me a lot not to do that.
I feel guilty for having to send him to the hospital when his Dr. said Iwill die before him if I keep this up, so I consented, but after he was there he asked me to take him home , but I said I will but first you have to get better, well he died two weeks later, I could have torn my heart out of myself, I felt so guilty for sending him there.
Maria
This was Richard before he became ill

Bless your heart and head Maria, we all end up with guilt feelings when a loved one is beyond our reach to make amends. I tried to be patient with my Dad, but I am NOT a patient person ~ and when the hard things seem to go on for ever one does snap. I growled at him. snarled even. but I laughed with him too.

We are *h u m a n* and that's the situation in a sentence. It's okay to wallow in the guilt for a bit, then shake yourself and forgive yourself (that's the hard part) and climb outta the wallow. Always know you will revisit that guilt again, but you will get past it and concentrate on the good things that do not pale because there were bad as well.

The thing that defines the glory of the stars in the sky is the darkness of their surroundings. ~Blooms
*made that up myself lol

Thank you, Blooms, I will always remember what you said about theth stars in the night, it sounds like something my mother would have said, she always had some woderful anologies when I aske dher about something that bothered me.
Maria

I'm still laughing over Menapausal Mother Nature. /;-)~ Blooms

When I was about 16 years old I asked her about women and sex, she took me out of doors, and said:" you see that path in the lawn? everybody walks on it because it is a short cut from where they suppose to walk, now the grass has gone and nothing but the bare ground is left"
Maria

I'm sitting her crying...them there's some beautiful thoughts you gals wrote. I am so ashamed of acting like a spoiled rotten brat. I need to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on with life!!! Blooms that is beautiful -

What is funny is that the bunch of you (who I have never met) know my feelings better than my own family (other than my sister- she called this morning and we laughed and cried together)

I am such a sentimental fool - I just feel awful when someone's feelings are hurt or they are unhappy. I'll do anything to help them out. My situation has happened before and I get over it - I just can't believe that I have three such thick skulled males in one family. In fact DH and DS are going out shopping again today (I awoke to a flood underneath my kithen sink) I've been telling DH something was leaking for weeks. They invited me to join them, but I'm in such a sulk that I declined. DH said 'oh here we go again!" Now I could kick myself, as I know DH will pick out a faucet that I won't like!!

Maria- I got a chuckle outta you telling about your DH - those must have been trying days for you both. Please don't feel guilty tho - you did the best you could and much more than anyone else may have done. DH had good care from you. I did get a small greenhouse last fall and just love it. It is only 6x8, but big enough for me to play around with my plants in. It's never too late- get one now!!

Kooger, that is a load to bear for you...depression is so draining for everyone. I get in funks, but snap outta them - I cannot imagine being depressed for a long time. You too need a greenhouse- mine was only 300 on sale at Harbor Freight - and believe me it is wonderful. DH did make me shelves for the inside and I am a happy camper using it. It's my little piece of heaven on earth. You deserve one too!!

Blooms - ya-= looking back on a 37 yr old marriage - it has been good. Just the normal ups and downs and I am not one to give up easily!! I just want someone to cherish me like Aria's DH!!

Thanks for all the words of wisdom gals - I feel better already!!

OK FOLKS- ENOUGH WALLOWING!! Bring out the chips and cheese, chocolate, cupcakes, and I'll provide the beer. Let's PARTY!!

Maria= did you understand what your mom meant when you were 16?? I even had to read that a couple of times!! LOL My mother just said 'girls who do THAT end up in Villa Maria (home for unwed mothers!!) I used to drive by the place all the time - it fascinated me!!