Do you give to "panhandlers"?

Sandy,
You made my night with that : )

Reminds me of something that is happening as we speak:

Not too long ago a man came in to the hotel i work at and wanted to know if there was anything he could do for a hot meal. Our Gm, who also is the owner, happened to be standing there and said sure. It was a Saturday night we had a huge banquet, a full hotel and of course the usual weekend sickness that employees get, so any body was better than nobody.
Let me tell you, this guy busted his butt, our GM probably got more work out of him in 4 hrs than half the staff gives in a full week...he was amazing.
I'm happy to say, that 3 weeks later the guy is still with us!! Our GM gave him a hotel room and a job. He collected his first paycheck last week!
I can remember when he first started there he wouldnt make eye contact, usually only gave one word answers (well really 2 because sir or ma'am followed the yes or no) In the beginning i would have called him anti-social, but i think more than anything it was just fear..whats tomorrow going to bring, where will my feet take me? Now we cant shut him up, lol.
I've never asked him how long had he been homeless, i figure eventually he'll talk about. But for now, he has a home (even tho its a hotel) and is free to come and go as he pleases. He hasnt missed a day of work and still continues to bust his hiney. He's talked about getting his DL so he can drive the shuttle van and can do it know because he has an addy he can use. How cool is that? Sometimes all ya need is a break (and of course the right person to be standing there to give it to you)
Something tells me one day he'll just be gone, but for now hes content and i Thank God that our GM was standing there when he walked through our front doors that first night.

MsJen that is so awesome. Yes a hand up is all they need. I am thankful your GM was there also. A divine appt for sure.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

No one would just hand these people drugs either. I'm not going to assume they are all using it for that either. Maybe the people are different in each city.

I love the stories of you all helping them and buying them food. We should care about them and not just toss them to the side.

Sandy, I was very impressed that your friends here paid for a plane ticket for you. That is just wonderful! I know they were blessed by it also.

Jen, your story gives me chills as I read it. How wonderful is that story? I am so glad he was there at the right time as was the owner and GM. Inspirational story indeed.

We have been homeless ourselves although my DH still had a job. It was about 20 years ago and we couldn't find a home and had to be out of the place we were in that week so we moved everything we owned into a rental unit and moved into a tent at an old homestead place that belonged to some friends of ours and waited to see what would open up after school started or any time that summer. We lived there from May to October.

The school wasn't happy that our son didn't have a physical address so we used that of another friend to get him enrolled. We would shower at the sauna of a ranch nearby where we were living in the tent as they were kind enough to help us out and they would also let us get our drinking water there at the ranch. It was a hard time and yet we all look on that time as one of the nicest times of our lives as we didn't have a phone or a TV to distract us from just being with each other and just being ourselves.

It was a time of self discovery and emotions that were on the surface due to some kindnesses extended to us. Complex enough that it is hard to tell you all of the feelings we have had about that time. I have never had so much time to think about life and what it means to me and to my family and what our goals in life are. Amazing time. Finally found out we could buy a manufactured home and put it on this property we were living on and the owner of it offered to put in the well and septic in return for us watching his tractor to make sure no one bothered it when he had to leave it at our end of the valley.

The day after I had put the deposit on the home my DH came home and told me that he had been transferred to where he is now. Lucky for us the manufactured home company returned every penny of our deposit (paperwork said they wouldn't return a cent) and once again we were looking for a home. It was extremely hard to find a home here also and we were thinking we would be homeless here when an attorney who's aunt had been a good friend of ours found us and told us he knew of a home we might be able to move right into. Lucky for us it all worked out but there but for the grace go I also.

I was so proud of my son a few years ago when he came home and said he had bought two sandwiches and took one to the elderly man who was homeless and walked the streets with a shopping cart and his dog tied to it. Our son had sat down with the man on the post office steps and visited with him while they both ate their sandwiches and he found out all about why this old man was homeless and that his kids wanted him to move into a nursing home but he was afraid of having a roof over his head.

He had been a veteran of WWII and had been in the field for a couple of years and when he came home he was scared of being cooped up under a roof. He became an alcoholic and had been homeless by choice ever since WWII. He freely told our son that he was still an alcoholic and if he got money he would use it for booze but that he loved chatting with him and eating the first meal he had had in several days. Our son has talked about that day ever since then and says he learned so much from that man.

I haven't seen that man for a while now and I know he was always having "accidents" in his pants so feel he is probably in a nursing home now or has died. I wish I knew where he is so I could thank him for teaching a young man about life on the other side and for his coaching our son to be something and to enjoy life to the fullest while he can.

I give to the food bank and Salvation Army and the soup kitchen and have volunteered to feed the homeless when we lived in a town where there was that need. It is rewarding to help out that way and to see the smiles of people when you feed them hearty meals is reward in itself. I won't give to panhandlers since I saw a guy who was on the streets for months panhandling then he walked around the corner and got into his brand new BMW convertible and drove off. I drive an old pickup truck and have never owned a new vehicle.

Another thing I have done for the homeless people on the streets is to go buy a voucher for a shower at a truck stop nearby them and hand them a shower voucher. Tears poured from one man who was so happy with the gift. :) I suppose another might have tossed it on the road and walked away but I would have picked it up and given it to another on the streets.



edited to shorten the paragraphs for Darius' sake

This message was edited Aug 23, 2005 6:40 PM

I love reading all these stories!
(but I DO wish y'all would take pity on us older folks with bad eyesight and break your posts down into short paragraphs with lots of white space inbetween.

Reading loooong posts with no white space is SO hard on eyesite.)

Sorry Darius, i really do try to remember to put them in, but sometimes i forget, that CRS is getting more frequent, lol.

Thanks for all the stories y'all. I was starting to feel like i was standing alone in left field, lol.

Jen, I wasn't picking on anyone, LOL. I have just noticed lately that LOTS of posts run on and on and I have a hard timr reading them.

Dave also put that in the newbie info somewhere, saying use lots of paragraphs.

But what about those of us who's brains just run everything together?! I do have a hard time making paragraphs because I tend to go back and forth in my thoughts. Sorry, seems to be a personal problem. lol Actually I have to admit that if it's too long I have to put it off to read until later or skim thru it.

I second that paragraph bit too Darius! It is rather difficult to read. Heck, it is hard as heck to see it on my work computer. Might have to change that to bigger print too!

My print has to be so large for me to see, that sometimes the actual post column is about 20 characters wide and someones' location will be about 40. That is when I find I have to put the 35-40 = signs in the post, to make it wide enough for me to read too. Then, have to slide the screen back and forth to find out who posted.

No one has a really long location here, thankfully. Surprised I haven't done it yet though, since it also makes it wider on my screen. More like getting it full screen then, instead of using only the narrow center. It does the same thing for D-Mails too, even if not a long location! ~ Suzi :)
========================================

sorry Darius, It is hard to break old things that were taught in school. I went back and edited mine to show more white. Hope it helps ya.

I was talking to my son today and we talked fondly again about that summer/fall in the tent. In fact it was a two bedroom tent because we owned two of them and set them up side by side. DH put a table and shelves on the side of the old homestead house that was on the property and it was under the trees for shade so a nice site for us to stay.

Our biggest problem there was a bathroom so we dug a nice deep hole and bought a plastic lawn chair, cut a hole in the center of the lawn chair and put a wood fence around it for the outhouse. Worked great.

Ahh those were the days. I liked it some but wouldn't want to repeat it at my age and ability now.

Sorry Darius. I went back and fixed mine also. I try so hard to remember. Sometimes I think I leave too many spaces.

Blessings,
Sandy

Ah, the memories Lani! When I was building my house out at the farm, I lived in the tool shed, made coffee on the grill... and my shower was 200 feet of black hose that I draped over the roof so it hung down over my head. Could only shower when the sun heated the hose!

Kinda sounds like us right after a hurricane, lol.

The importance of things we take for granted come to life after something like that.
I used to get so depressed every month when i'd get my electric bill, but after our last hurricane, i realized how much it enhances my life. A/C, cold food, ice cream, hot water, heck water period because we have a well and without electricity the pump doesnt work.

My son, on the other hand is so mad at me right now. His girlfriends home phone is long distance from here. I told him repeatedly to stop calling her that i was not going to pay for his ld calls..he kept on, so i cancelled at&t.
its inconvenient, but one of those things you can live without. ....i imagine his world would be over if he didnt have cable too, lol.

Jen,

How old is your son? You must have a MetroPSC type of cell phone carrier up where you are. This type of carrier offers unlimited all time usage including long distance.

I don't have long distance on my landline and I have blocked any number or code that could conceivably generate an additional charge or fee. When someone else is using these services and are not footing the bill, they have no reason to limit themselves.

My son (32) has a pay as you go cell phone. If he has the money, he renews the time, if he doesnt have the money he goes phoneless until he can pay for it. It's taken me a lot of years to figure out a lot of this stuff and I'm finally at a good comfort level. :^)))

Just an idea.
Molly

Me too Molly!!! Way to Go!!! Feels good too that I only pay my bills. Not DS's

I am happy to be the one that can't pay my own bills don't need
DSs. He is 29 w/ wife and 2 DGDs. Those 2 I would give the world but not my responsibility. If I buy pull ups I tear them open
take a few out. He may not be using but no way can they be returned for money to eat out after I tear them open and take some.

I learned the long and hard way like you.

Blessings,
Sandy

I didn't read this entire thread, but back to the title of it.
Back in the sixties I lived in the Twin Cities area. I worked at a factory across the parking lot from an empty disrepaired building.
The bums, that was the term for the homeless, hung out there & the corner of the parking lot. Sometimes truck farmers would stop & pick them up for a days work. One day we had a truck load of steel come in when we didn't expect it. Our foreman thought as long as everyone was busy he hire a couple of the bums to unload it. They turned him down because it was after their "working" hours.
Now days they are called "homeless", same people as far as I know.
In our state there are enough programs that, if qualifiied, everybody can have a roof over their head. The ones that don't qualify are the healthy that don't like to work.
I could use extra help many times, but there is always some excuse to not work.
I will gladly give a nice tip to a waiter/waitress, bartender, etc. that are a least trying to maske their life worth something.
Enough said!
Bernie

I don't know I really must be a bleeding heart liberal because I think you guys are too tough on these people. They wouldn't be where they are and begging for money if they didn't have problems. Today for example I was approached by a young guy in the Midway area of St. Paul which is sort of struggling area of our town.

This guy pretended he couldn't speak and handed me a note that he was trying to make it home to Duluth. I didn't believe him for a minute but I gave him $10 and later a few blocks away I saw him talking to someone. It didn't bother me a bit. Based on what you have written you will think me a fool but that is me then. He must have needed the money more than I did. I have no idea what he used it for and I wish him luck.

They were interviewing a guy on the Twin Cities radio one day. His job is panhandling. I forget what is was exactly, but his yearly income from panhandling was better than most working people. Keep giving to them!!
Bernie

I'm moving to Denver, looks like panhandling is a lucrative business http://www.fontcraft.com/csa/culturecomments.php?id=350_0_6_0_Cf

I dont think i'm being to tough on anyone. Its a business to most of them and i refuse to contribute to their cause.

I worked for years as a waitress trying to support my kids. I had good days and i had bad days but always managed to feed and clothe them on what i made. I never received public assistance, never even tried to apply.

I tend to tip extra to our waitresses, because like Bernie said they are at least trying. My current take on panhandlers is that they are capable of working, they just choose not to, and as long as they can scam someone out of $10, then why go find a job? They have their freedom, dont pay taxes, drain our economy of resources and make just as much, if not more, than the working class does.

As with everything in our society, what you chose to give to is your choice. I would rather spend my hard earned $ on finding a cure for breast cancer or buying a hot meal for a truely down and out homeless person.

I can't help but think we are talking about 2 kinds of folks here.
I think that one is panhandlers and one is homeless. I do believe we are all talking about the same.

I don't know how to explain what I mean exactly. I think to panhandle to some is to be a con artist and then there are homeless and to some of us the term homeless and them asking for help is to panhandle.

I do believe we are all helping the homeless some of us just don't separate the 2. There are people who chose to be homeless and those who can't help they are homeless. I
believe there are those on the street truely homeless that stand on corners and ask for money. I have seen them with all their wordly belongings. Whether in a shopping cart or tucked under a bridge and there are those who live in houses and choose not to work and stand on the corner and ask for money.

I believe we all are doing the same to help although some of us
would rather give it a different way. I give to the person on the corner when I can or am led and I don't try to figure out what they will do with it.

Others of us pay for food, hand out food or donate to food banks, or agencies who help people whether on the street or finding a cure for cancer or ways to get people a way out of the street.

I believe we are all doing our best to help humanity. That is the best we can do. Unless you have walked a mile in his shoes
don't be too hard on the person on the corner.

There was a time my son went to prison and yes he deserved to be there but this mothers heart shattered as those places treated us like dirt.

I know the whippings he got, the home he came from and it was not one to get hooked on drugs and steal. None the less at 18 he made bad descisions. I ended up in a phsychiatric hospital as the anti depressants I was taking quit working and so did my heart not physically. I still can't and probably never will be able to talk about this with out crying.

I also know how many kids I saw go wrong and thought it was
the parents fault, gosh I ate those words also. I had a lady say to me it could be worse and then she said he
could be dead. I told her I didn't think dead sounded worse at that point and time. I told her I would gladly give her my shoes
so I didn't have to walk in them and then she could tell me if
it could be worse.

Maybe it is all the shoes I have walked in and almost (homeless)
walked in. Or the homeless I have walked with in the ministry
but I don't judge a book by its cover. If I see them taking advantage my dollar will go to the next person, if not I am not going to assume. As for someone that is skin and bones. So was my son on drugs. Last thing on earth someone on drugs worries about is eating.

I am long winded again, but I think we all have the same goals.
Just different definitions for the same words.

Love and Blessings to all of you,
Sandy

Very well said, Sandy.

I carry mc donalds gift certificates in the glovebox,and hand them out. Nobody has ever said no! I also support my local food banks and church pantry's and non denominational missions. Lots of kids are hungry too...and it seems that they get to those places.
I dont know if anyone wrote this...just my 2 cents! (Its a long thread!)
:) God Bless you all, no matter how you give, or what form it takes, no matter at all.

I don't mean to offend anyone or minimize the plight of the homeless, but has anyone here seen the Tracey Ullmann episode re: charity & the homeless? It's quite funny. The gist is:

Tracey is in her "Kay the naive bank teller" persona & passes Cheech Marin who is holding a sign "Will Work For Food". She takes him home & shows him her completely overgrown backyard which she wants weeded. As he's weeding, she's inside making a big spread of British delicacies, like "Spotted Dick" pudding, etc., etc. Cheech finishes, she serves him the meal, which he is reluctant to touch, thanks him, & shows him the door. He is shocked, as he fully expected to be paid hard cash for all the work he did, & expresses to her that the "work for food" was really just semantics.

Since he feels slighted, & is a drug dealer to boot, he steals some of Tracey's invalid mother's pills to sell, only to find out later that they were actually laxatives!! As the drug addicts he sold the pills to chase him down the street, Tracey rescues him & they ride off on her motor scooter with him babbling about being more than willing to whatever more work she needs done, etc., etc.

It sounds very funny. I love Tracey Ulman. I think a lot of humor is based on painful things. It helps to laugh at them.

I think that sometimes it's hard to know how to react. I want to be compassionate and generous, but I also don't want to be vulnerable. Usually I don't carry cash, which solves the dilemma. My husband and I have offered food and been taken up on it.

Once visiting Las Vegas I was carrying leftovers when I was approached by someone. I told him I didn't carry cash, but then as an afterthough I offered him my leftovers and he was SO grateful! It felt so good to have helped someone who really needed it rather than blowing him off-- I think it brought tears to my eyes.

I don't give to people on the street corners. Partly for my safety, and partly because I've seen them sift through the signs not far off trying to decide whether today they're a homeless vet or supporting a family, etc. Even so, every time I see someone on the corner I wonder what their situation really is... I have more readily given money to beggars in different countries, however.

My husband and I have also volunteered at a local soup kitchen a few times. There was an AMAZING variety of people there, from homeless single mothers trying so hard to make ends meet for their children, people who were always thanking us and volunteering to help, to people who complained about what was being served, and absolutely some drug addicts (we were there once when the medics came). Some led more "upright" lives than others, but they were all people in need of help.

I must admit that I feel convicted after reading some of your posts. I think our society is so individualistic sometimes that we feel threatened by the homeless and forget our compassion. I have no doubt that some do take advantage of people, but I hope also that I can keep my eyes open and help those who really need it-- it would make their day AND mine!

Sunday night my DS and DIL were on there way here to get the
girls when the came across a man on the street panhandling.
They had eaten and always give me the lefts overs ;o) or bring for girls. It makes me happy that they think of me even things as small as leftovers.

They went to hand them out the window to the guy and they said when he saw the box his face lit up. When they handed them out they said he could not tell them enough thank yous and god bless yous. They said he really looked bad. DIL was telling me
when my DS came out of the other room. Just as she said she
wished it had been more and she almost cried, DS heard what she was talking about. He spoke up and said it was so heart breaking he almost broke down and cried. It was touching to see them reach out to someone and to have them be touched so deeply. Not only that but the man they touched I am sure probably got a big touch from heaven.

What is really sad to say is all those in Katrinas path are now homeless. Maybe for a long while and maybe for years. Being in a path of something like that doesn't mean you are always
covered by insurance. Whether it is flooding which is not covered by homeowners insurance. It is separate. Or if they were not able to keep their insurance up to date because of finances.

Some call this an act of God and that is not covered by insurance. If a company could be christian (not the people who own it but the company its self) They would not pay as it is an act of war....Spiritual War. Jesus fights for us and the Devil fights to destroy us.

They are evacuating alot to Houston. In our little city there is atleast 150 in a shelter with a couple 2 week old babies in there. The christian radio station is asking people to donate gift cards. For phone, clothing (Walmart etc.) and food. Anything we think they could use. They said the outpouring is great, but they may have to be here over a week.

This is so heart breaking as just a little turn west and this would have been us. There but the Grace of God go I.

If anyone would like to donate I can or I could ask my church if they would be willing to buy the gift cards if the money were sent there. I know the red cross is helping, but I like the idea of giving gift cards as no one needs to get any of it but the people it is intended for. Sorry the red cross is a great thing but 40 %
of every dollar goes to operating costs. I know they need paid but it just did not set right with me after 911 when they said all would go to the families and then find out only 60 % goes.
When the Texas State troopers call for money for families of killed officers, I even ask if they get 100% if they say no. I politely tell them I would rather give directly thru the fundraisers or whatever.

Modest needs is also helping and donations can be made there.
Please see the post Modest needs as there is too much info to add to this. This a place anyone can apply for help. Not just in Katrina.

Love to all,
Sandy ^8^

Been reading this thread with interest - can't help but hope that by now Ms Jen is not homeless thanks to Katrina. Lets all say a prayer for her and all those in Gulfport and the coastal cities that were hit so hard on the 28th.

There is being a DavesGarden Katrina Help Effort being organized now.
http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/541411/

Sandy, not true that Red Cross admin costs are 40%, Check out the report here:
http://www.give.org/news/katrina.asp

Darius, All I know is my husband watches CNN atleast 5 hrs out of 24 everyday of the week. I can remember watching when it all came to light. The red cross came on and addressed the fact that is how they distributed the funds. If I had not heard it myself I would not have believed it. It caused a very ugly time for the victims relatives. And the people who give.

I did find this on that site http://www.give.org/standards/index.asp that since March 03, 2003

Charities can not use over 35% for administrative fees.

BBB Wise Giving Alliance Standards for Charity Accountability (effective March 3, 2003)
http://www.give.org/standards/newcbbbstds.asp

and before then they could not use over 50% for the administrative costs.

Previous Standards: CBBB Standards for Charitable Solicitations
http://www.give.org/standards/cbbbstds.asp

It is alot to me especially since Chief Executive Officer: Marsha Johnson Evans , President and Chief Executive Officer
Compensation*: $468,599. I know we would love to make 10% of what she does.

I love the idea of gift cards as they get 100%.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

With so many being brought to Houston and so many bad stories and families displaced, lost or even dead we all need to help even if it is only 1.00. My heart just wants to scream when I hear about all who may never return home as all is lost.

Sandy, both of us are right. The Red Cross does spend overall more than 5% for administrative costs. However, they also have private fundraisers to raise money for those costs so that donations earmarked for Disaster Relief do not exceed 6%. See give.org's report on them here:
http://charityreports.give.org/Public/Report.aspx?CharityID=679

I see what you mean. Great Link.

I just recieved an e-mail from daytonfreecycle right down the road.

I just got back from shelter runs, and I can tell you that the Mont
Belvieu Senior Center is pretty much set on things they might need.
However, there is another "private" shelter in Mont Belvieu, sponsered
by Eagle Heights Baptist Church. I just came from there and they
desparately need baby food, such as Stage 1 & 2 jar food, baby juice,
rice baby cereal, and Similac Advance with Iron. They have 2 boxes of
cereal, about 10 jars of baby food, about 10 cans of formula and no
juice that I saw. This shelter IS NOT supported by the Red Cross!!
They are wholly dependant on donations FROM US. They will also need
clothes b/c they are talking about putting the kids in school here
until they can get back home and most of these kids, (and parents),
only brought 2 or 3 changes of clothes with them. For those of you who
don't know where this church is, it is on Hwy 146, in the BIG L-shaped
shopping center (I think it is called The Plaza), across 146 from
Iguana Joe's. There is also an elderly lady there on oxygen and in a
wheelchair who might need something to do or someone to talk to. Any
help would be GREATLY apprieciated!!! ~Rachel


------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->

I think this is where I will go tomorrow.

Darius it doesn't matter as long as these people get the help they will need. Thanks for the link. Would not have found that myself.

You are a walking encyclopedia of Knowledge :o)
I would love to have you live around here. My DGDs and I
would learn so much from you.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

Has anyone heard from some of our DGers that live there??

Trish is organizing a Dmail blitz to everyone MIA in LA, MS and AL.
http://davesgarden.com/forums/t/541411/

Katrina has made many many more people homeless now.

Yes and maybe for a very long time. They said only 30% had flood insurance.

:O(