Do you give to "panhandlers"?

People standing on corners with signs for work, money or food? Or are you one of the people who honks at the person that is giving to them? Just curious.

We don't have panhandlers around here, but I used to travel to DC on business a couple times a year. I wouldn't give them money, but I would sometimes buy a hamburger, crackers, a bottle of juice, or something like that and give to them if I had time to pop into a nearby store and buy something.

We don't have any here either, but we traveled to the NYC area alot on business, and just like Joan, we'd offer to buy a meal....seemed like most declined the food...they actually wanted to buy booze and drugs.

By offering the actual food, the hungry folks got fed, and we didn't have our money spent on stuff that contributed to the addict's terrible situation.

Working in San Francisco cured me of it forever.You see the same people on the same corner 5 days a week for 7 years so you can figure it is a business.

I won't give money (and none in my new location although lots in Asheville before I moved). I used to carry canned goods to give out. That was never what they wanted, only cash.

One man was arrested because he was soliciting money for a pregnant wife who was actually not pregnant.

I will admit that I do give them money. They are normally in our poorest areas near the hospital district and it's a spur of the monent decision. Many of them are mentally not "there". I don't know what they use the money for but feel like if I don't give to them then I might be passing the one who genuinely needs food. I feel like if I'm giving with the right spirit then my part is done and what they do with it is their part. I gave some to a man this afternoon along with a large cup of ice water. We had just gone thru a drive thru, where I got the water, but didn't think about buying him a taco. lol

it is business for lots of them.. couples.. they will have pops , smoking so they can buy food instead of cig. one was asked wan to work sign said would oh no i have bad back..i have but not much any more... did segment on tv here. man was doing it had new vehicle parked few blocks away....

I've heard those stories before but I know you reap what you sow, and those ill-gotten gains (sp?) will not bring them what they thought it would.

I worked downtown Pittsburgh last summer. I gave some food items. If I gave any money, it was only a little change. Agree, see the same people all the time.

I work my butt off to support my DDs and self. Can't just give it away. They can work, just like I do although maybe not in the same capacity. Admit that the work could be very difficult to find, for some of then. Honest work is honorable, even if garbageman!

On the reverse side of it, my brother lived on the streets of Las Vegas for couple yrs. He passed on lots of stories about churches that got money to give them a place to sleep but threw the peo out on street about 6 AM, no matter when they got there; bums that would use the $ for drugs and alcohol, etc... It is a business, for more than a few, I'm afraid... ~ Suzi :)

I give when I feel that God is telling me to give. What the receiver does with it is not what matters. It's the act of "giving" that He looks for. For those of us that "believe", never know when you might be turning away an angel.
To some, I've given money. To others, a subway pass for a week. Most often, I'll offer a warm meal, or a cold drink. But still, I don't worry so much about what I give - just that I've at least tried to show compassion for that person.
I've lived in two "big" cities, and travelled to three others, so I've seen quite the variety of people asking for help.

I posted above... but did NOT say that I give generously to our local food bank.

AngelSong, that's how I feel. I'm glad to know someone else gives not considering what will be done with it. NOT that everyone else isn't right about everything (it's a business, they SHOULD work, etc etc) because they ARE right but when I'm told to give it, I do it. Thanks for reminding me about "entertaining angels" too. I know that, but had forgotten it. I do think that it shows my children to have compassion for hurting people too. If it were a daily or even just more often occurance for me I would probably do something like the food option or giving to a shelter in that area.

I live not too far from konkreteblonde, and I sometimes will give to the panhandlers, but there is one intersection where I have seen the same person over and over, and this person is usually clean and looks well fed, which makes me wonder if he is taking advantage. Usually I will give 1 or 2 dollars .. enough for some food but that is about it - I hope.

This is the reason I didn't give money when I traveled where there were panhandlers. I did the math, and figured if you were a panhandler, and could get 100 people to give you a dollar every day, (I think they can get that easily, especially in a city that attracts travelers), that comes to $36,500 per year, tax free income.

That's nearly what I make in a year, and I pay taxes on it. So their take home pay would be way more than mine.

Next time I travel, I'll continue to buy hamburgers and juice for the them instead. I'll feed an angel in need, but I won't pad the pockets of a con artist that most likely is living better than I am.

When I was younger (definately not wiser), I did give money to people that asked. I remember being on the way home, very late one night, walking alone (really intelligent) and a man told me he was hungry and needed money. I stopped and turned and asked him what he really wanted the money for and he honestly told me he needed wine. I did hand him some money, told him it wasn't good for him and that he should be honest. I didn't care about the money but I didn't see a need to lie to get it either.

I also used to date a man several years older than myself that was very well off. We often walked around down town by/to the trendy diners and local pubs and pricey restaurants. No need for a car in the city. Anyway, he was well known by the beggars down there. Often he handed out $50 discreetly as gifts, for holidays or just to be nice. He regularly gave away $20. He stopped doing that a year or so after we parted ways when he was jumped and savagely beaten. I believe that is what is called *mugged*. I am sure by now, he is passing out lesser amounts again. I guess it is a dangerous game walking around with money that people know you will share. I'm a softy myself too though. If you are going to do it, please be careful.

When I was younger I was more black and white about this, with a system of rules and such . . . I rarely gave because I had a whole script in my head about how it was enabling them . . . I told them to go to a shelter and was able to tell them where the shelters are and how to get to them. These days I see things differently-- I give a little something now and then, a spur of the moment decision, and I don't break my head over what will happen to the money or what I'm enabling. Most people are generally doing their best, even if it looks like they're heading in the wrong direction. When I give, I make it about me, not about them (which most of you have to admit is really the bottom line)-- I feel like it's a symbolic, celebratory gesture, celebrating being able to spare some money. And you know what? I sacrificed and gave things up and lived for tomorrow and deferred gratification and took some uncomfortable chances out the wazoo to get to the point of relative financial security-- but I'm still luckier than they are and I won't even notice a buck or two less in my pocket at the end of the day.

I won't miss my few dollars either. I don't get out of the car or give to anyone who is walking by and asks, those type I just quickly walk away from because I do think they could be dangerous. I'll stop at a light, make sure the doors are locked, crack the window and quickly hand it to them and roll the window back up. I think that even if they are going to buy drugs or booze, it's not my problem and I'm thankful it's not.

IMy DH an I volunteered with a homeless ministery for about 4 years at the church we were attending. They would take a bus and go to several stops in houston and bring them before church. We attended church and we would serve them what we had cooked after church.

Most about 98% were good people who hard no where to stay, no where to recieve calls to get a job, and alot worked but no where to rent due to they didn't make enough money.
They smelled bad, and were dirty, but alot of the nicest peopls you would ever want to meet. We experienced alot of miracles of changed lives. Still no where to live but they were changed by a gesture of the "His Shepards Staff" ministry. It was sad to see the distance the members of the church put between where our guys sat and were they sat.

At times I have given food and at times 1 or 2 dollars. As was brought up here. It is not what they do with it, it is how it is given.
I can't say for sure if I was stuck on the street with no where to go and no way out, what I would do. What they do with it they will answer for.

One clue, but not always the case especially it an angel. The person will always have all their possessions (which is usually not much as they carry them around) some where not too far away. It is only
by the Grace of God we are not homeless.

We do have several here that have signs that say "Why lie, I want to buy a beer" I have seen those and not one of my dollars will help them with that.

Just my 2 cents.

Be Blessed,
Sandy ^8^

I live in the land of "Snowbirds" We not only get the wealthy and moderately well-to-do that migrate down to our warm climate, we have an inordinate amount of "homeless" migrate here.

I used to occasionaly give a buck or two out, until the time I found the guy with the "broken fan belt" story was rotating corners. After 10 years, he still has the fan belt and the same story.

They are on every street corner, in front of the grocery and drug stores, they approach you while you are pumping your gas, running into the 7-11, waiting at the drive up line at McD's. 90% of these people are drug addicts. There is no mistaking the look.

My son is a recovering addict. I know what an addict looks like and if I won't give my son money for drugs, I surely will not give it to total strangers.

I have given money, food and a couple times even a job and clothing, only to find that I was being taken advantage of and used for my "soft touch." I have found myself cowering behind my door listening to the pounding and begging of one who found me to be an easy mark.

I am not overly religious, but for the basics, I don't believe the higher power intended our giving spirits for our fellow man to be used to help someone destroy their own bodies, their own lives and the lives of people around them.

I try to be as generous as I can and certainly would not deny a fellow human being food and water. There are a lot of 2 legged predators out there and they are darned smart. They can see a soft touch coming a mile away. You have to draw the line somewhere.

For the truly needy, there are churches, non-profits and other sources for housing, food and assistance and they are not that hard to find.

The only time I have given money is in Prague... In the US there are services available for people where I frequently donate. The people standing on the corner staring you down or aggressively asking make me uncomfortable. Fortunately, Albany (my home city) is far enough north that it's not an appealing place to panhandle most of the year.

In Prague, I saw street people who crouched or bowed motionless (like statues) for hours with a hat or cup out for a few crowns. They're not insolent people standing on the side of the road EXPECTING their due because of something someone else did but often people living hard and tragic lives who are bone thin and have no visible spark of life. What the people do with the money, I can't know, but it was heartbreaking and compelling to see the hopeless poverty in some of the cities that I've visited in Eastern Europe. It still chills me to remember one man I gave a few crowns to who didn't even look up, just bowed his head to the cement. I walked away in tears.

For those who have tried to give food and have had it refused, please don't be too upset, here in the UK (I imagine it's no different in other places around the world), a few people have tried to poison the homeless via food handouts to get rid of them. Many shelters here tell the homeless not to accept food just in case.

It's easy to dismiss the homeless, they are invisible people, those truely in need really are truely in need, yes there are some beggars who make a good living this way but there are those who are homeless for reasons that are thankfully not even within most peoples imagination. Some are so claustrophobic, they cannot bear being in a building, some have difficulties coping with what we think of as a normal life, such as paying bills, some have simply dropped by the wayside through divorce, illness or other life difficulties and no one has been there to help them get up, the reasons are many and varied. Trying to find work as a homeless person is incredibly difficult, if you've no contact details or the details are clearly of a hostel or shelter, many employers wouldn't take them on, also if they have been homeless for a while then they haven't had work for some time and it's so much harder to get a job if you aren't in work already let alone if you haven't been in work for a while.

It's really only a few short steps for any of us to become homeless, none of us are immune. Life isn't incredibly easy for most people but the homeless have extra difficulties that are perpetuated by being homeless.

The city of Winchester remove the homeless and beggers from the shopping areas, the shops have a box on the counters for you to put change into and this goes to the shelters, soup kitchens and other organizations that help the homeless.

I'm not saying you should give money to someone on the street, it's your money to do with what you will.

This message was edited Aug 20, 2005 1:47 PM

Poison the homeless to get rid of them?? That is ludicrous!! Murder!!! HOW HORRIBLE!!

Most of the food I gave was in unopened containers except the bread, but still... Saw no reason for them to sit in the refrigerator at work for weekend plus, when someone else needed them more. Gave them to the same guy. He used to sit on the corner I had to pass everyday on way to and from car. Heard he also had several other corners that he frequented every day. I don't know, maybe he thought I was a softie too...

That is how selfish our world has become. Let's just get rid of those that are inconvenient to us, the beggars, the elderly, and our children. Lord have mercy on us.

BriarRose, being a softie isn't a bad thing. You still have compassion which sounds like it's becoming extinct. :(

It is very easy to say that these people should get a job when we aren't in their situation. How do you get one when you don't have a place to shower and clean up? No one wants a dirty, homeless person working for them. It's a horrible cycle, and yes, except for the grace of God there go I.

The one exception I make for folks soliciting money on the street corners is the Shriners raising money for their Crippled Children's Hospitals. I ALWAYS donate, even if I am broke. A friend's son had an accident with a lawn mower. They took care of the kid to the tune of many thousands of dollars of surgery and care, all free.

Their fund raising is for a very good cause, but I don't like how they just walk up to my window and try to make me give to them.

my husband and i saw a guy on a corner with a sign that said "will work for food" back in the eighties when that particular sign was not so common. we stopped and my husband offered him a job at $10 an hour starting immediately. he said that he had to continue begging for money that day because his wife and children were in his broken down car with nothing to eat. my husband gave him $20 against my wishes and the man agreed to meet us the next day at the same spot. of course, he wasn't there. he turned away from a job that paid $10 an hour (cash!) because he was obviously making a lot more with his phoney sign and story. my only regret was the hurt look on my husband's face. the $20 was simply the cost of this man's dignity and meant nothing to us. btw, my husband waited for 2 hours at that corner and kept returning throughout the day thinking that maybe something had happened to the man. a few days later we did, in fact, see him and when he saw us he ran in the opposite direction.

I give them money. If they want to buy food, booze, or drugs thats up to them. Maybe if I was living out on the street with a mental illness I'd want some drugs too.

That is sad when they turn down a job making 10.00 an hour. But
having helped in a homeless ministry I know some are like that. But the big majority would love the oppurtunity.

Here in TX if you have even 1 felony which you are never forgiven of. You can not rent an apartment or live in one unless it is one of the smaller ones where there is alot of drugs and other things. You can not even get a job. It is on the applications and if you lie and they do a back ground search you are gone. This is something they pay for the rest of there lives. I know first hand as this is my DS I am speaking of. There is no forgiveness in the system.

The only difference between us and those with even misdemeanors
is they got caught. A felony can be breaking into a building at a swimming pool and taking some candy. I am not saying it is right
but how many of us at 18 made mistakes and just never got caught?
Is it right to keep them from having an apartment or job for the rest of there lives?

Also 2 years ago they were foreclosing on our house after my husband lost his job. We had no where to go and no family. Only
by the grace of God do we still have a roof over our heads.

I am not trying to justify any of them using the money wrongly,
But like grikdog said and I think a sane person on the street would try to kill the pain in some way, be it drugs, alcohol, or cigarettes.
But to refuse a job wow that person probably has a roof over their heads.

If I feel led or I have it, I give with my heart and figure what ever they do with it they will have to answer for it. Or I use to drive to Jack in the box for a hamburger and a drink.

Just my 2 cents

Sandy

My recently found brother lives in Dallas. One of our talks was about his stint as a homeless panhandler. He chose to be homeless! Kenny talked extensively about the amount of money..way more than he could working a 9-5, tax free, no boss, his own hours, and no paper trail for the feds to find him.
His "group" pooled their money, bought drugs and alcohol, slept in late, and got up and did it again. They had no desire to be "cured", in their minds they were living the american dream. He talked of a doctor that literally walked away from his life, the house in the suburbs, his wife and kids, and all the responsibility that went along with it. He's happier now than he was living the dream.
He also said that if you want to help a true homeless person, buy them a snickers and an orange juice. That reminds me of a time that i went to walmart before work and ended up buying this awesome looking sub sandwich, a typical impulse buy. I got stopped at a red light and had a panhandler right next to me..without thought i reached in the walmart bag and grabbed that great looking sandwich (i was so looking forward to eating it) and handed it to him. His reaction was "oh joy" and he threw it on the ground, almost like he was insulted because i gave it to him. It broke my heart, but at that moment, it also hardened me to them. Granted it was only $7.00 but i felt that if was truely homeless and hungry, he would have given it more attention than just throwing it on the ground and holding his sign up again. Gotta add that the car in front of me that gave him money, didnt get the same reaction, he thanked them extensively and pocketed the money.


p.s. Kenny told me also that he averaged about $200-$250 a DAY and only worked 5 days a week. Thats $52,000 tax free with no bills.

An interesting experience but is it your contention that this is the description of a typical homeless person?

I don't think it is her feeling about all of them, But it sure would leave
a person with hurt feelings and mistrust for awhile. It is not everyday you try to help even a person that is not homeless that they throw in the dirt what you intended for good.

MsJen is a sweetheart.

I do have to add it would be very easy after hearing her brothers story which happens more than enough. Maybe even with my kid?
and to her being hurt by that person to turn the other way.

I know when our kid was locked up and in trouble we had our thoughts about not giving to them as what would they use it for?
But then that is when we decided that was for them to answer for
as long as we were led to do. I would hope someone were kind enough to hand me a sandwich if I were to become homeless.

You never know when a kind gesture, a smile or a kind deed will make a difference in someones life. I know there are quite a few here that have touched mine and I will always remember that.

Sorry added another one of my 2 cents

There is always the few that ruin it for the others. For instance, you can't buy Sudafed without being treated like a criminal now because of those abusing it. I'm not abusing it but I'm paying for it. I would definitely be angry if someone had thrown the food on the ground. I do believe that those who are chosing that lifestyle as their career will reap what they sow. It won't always be the dream they think it is. No doubt about it, the time will come when the situation will change. I don't know if I've ever given to anyone that wasn't being sincere, but I don't know how I would know. The people that I have given to in the hospital district truly look sick and homeless. One thin man with a sunken in face said many gracious "thank you's" and his eyes brightened and he looked truly surprised and grateful. I'm of the same opinion too, I don't care what they do with it, even if it is to buy drugs or drink because I know they hurt and we all medicate our pain in some way.

Nope - never have, never will. Worked for 5-6 years in NYC, & believe me, the $$ you give them ain't going for a cup of coffee & a sandwich.

I prefer to donate my hardearned money to legitimate causes that actually go to help the people who want to be helped - like shelters, soup kitchens, food pantries, etc.

I would NEVER give someone a packet of crack or heroin. Why then would I help them to buy it? And then feel like I've done a good deed? That would make me feel horrible....that I hurt someone by financing their drug habit.

I donate instead to two very reputable organizations that address all of the needs of the homeless, not just the need to get high. Because if it's a full belly they want, they can get it at a number of private and public shelters.

At least around here.

ilovejesus99 I don't know why you always apologize at the end of your comments. I think that the points you made are very insightful and further having some some life experience I think they are informed. ...As were the comments of MSJen. While I probably don't agree with her I am interested in her opinion -- and whether she is a sweetheart or not has nothing to do with it.

In my opinion people should be free to live or destroy their lives as they please. I don't feel that just because someone might misuse a gift that I am obliged to parent them and try to make them behave the way I feel they should. Change comes from within.

I apologize not because I am sorry for the way I feel because I am not. I apologize because in the event someone thought I was speaking in disregard to their feelings. At times I have felt like some one was coming off harsh and you can't tell in a typed forum if someone is mad or just speaking their opinion. I add I'm sorry to show I am not speaking in a harsh or I believe I am right tone.

I know you did not necessarily need to here she was a sweetheart but maybe I said it more for her. I am not sure what I was thinking except how horrible of a person to disregard her feelings and throw the sandwich on the ground. If you want to be like that as a panhandler atleast have the common deciency to put it away nicely
thank the person and dispose of it later.

I learned alot of things after my husband lost his job. And now find it hard to make ends meet. One thing was the pride I had. I use to think if a person couldn't get their old car to move any faster to get it off the road. Well in the 13 years since he lost that job making 2 times what he makes now. We have had 3 old cars a couple wouldn't go the speed limit. I ate those words I had spoke.

I don't try to figure out what the people on the corner use it for as I have been so close to foreclosure on my house the last 2 years and no money in my pocket to rent or pay a deposit.

We had been living without a car 2 months when Jesus laid it on someones heart to give us their 1996 chevy S-10 extended cab
truck. Right before that my DH the 11th of this month went to emergengy room with pain in his left arm. It ended up blood pressure
at 185/137 and he had taken his pill early on that morning. This was because of stress. I can not work due to being disabled from a back injury in 1999 and surgery in 2000 which has left me worse and not better. Still having tests as they din't think the fusion took.
I don't have the time to list everything we have been through, but I do
know I don't think the way I use to.

A few generous souls here at DG paid for my plane ticket to see my brother, he was diagnosised with Lou Gehrigs in Oct. I went in March
and he died in April. They did not know me. I could have been a drug addict and sold the ticket after I got it. Anyway that has been what has changed my heart to the homeless and of course the biggest is the ministry we share in and saw lives changed. Oh what a joy that was.

Also I learned in Houston the soup kitchens are good, they are very far apart and it would be hard to walk that far in some cases. and shelters only let you stay so many days.

Yes there are the bad, but if I am ever homeless I would hope someone would not turn the other way.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

It sounds like someone is watching over you. I too think most people are good.

Sorry i'm just now getting back to this, its been a crazy world since my last post.

I made the mistake of referring to both panhandlers and homeless in to the same post. I also went back and reread my post and am wondering why i'm being questioned on wether or not my contention was that all homeless were the same. I didnt make a referance to my opinions to our homeless society, only my dislike for panhanders at the moment.

My opinion (the current one, at least) is that a panhandler is simply scamming money. I have come to believe that they have a car parked around the corner, a home to go to and have found a way to beat the system. They arent interested in work, IMHO, they are at work, probably making more than i do.
A homeless person, on the other hand, usually is fearful and mistrusting of society and have most likely lost everything that means anything to them: families, careers, material things.. I encounter quite a few of our homeless vets on a daily basis and its my opinion that they would rather die than ask the society that has hurt them so badly for anything.
We give our time freely on holidays, donate jackets and blankets, give food, drop money in the collection buckets.....we do all these things freely , but why do i (right now) feel the need to justify that?
DH and i are well known at the local waffle house simply because we seem to always buying dinner for someone. Nothing breaks my heart more than to see a homeless man walk in, sit down, look at the menu, and count his change hoping he has enough for a cup of coffee and hoping that he doesnt get kicked out of the only warm place thats open because they think he's loitering ...our waitress knows us well enough to know that the small nod is an indication to take his order, whatever he wants, and charge it to us. We've never asked for recognition, nor do we want it....the only time it was every questioned, she held her ground and said "they just left". We've never seen a meal turned down either. We dont hang around to see what the reaction is...there is no glory in it for us, just our way of giving to someone that needs a hand.

If i hand a cash to someone, its not my right to determine what he does with it, just like its not right for my employer to determine where my paycheck goes, but coming from a family of addicts, myself included, i am very well aware that without someone enabling us to feed our addicitons, the addictions are harder to feed.

My opinion is strictly that, mine. No bother to me wether someone agrees or disagrees.

Excellent Jen!!!!

Ms Jen you reminded me of when I worked at waffle house. When I finally got off graveyards, where we only had a phone that dialed 911. And I dialed it plenty. That is the bad shift for drunks and what ever lurks at night.

There was a homeless man come in around 10:30 in the morning. He was counting his change and told him someone to buy him pork chops and eggs would he eat it or did he like pork chops? did he perfer something else. He was a proud man and did not want to accept but I explained he would be stealing their blessing if he was hungry and turned them down.

He did ask who but I told him they would rather not do it to be noticed. He did clean up that plate. I was so blessed. When he left I ask the other waitress who knew to write out the ticket and I paid for it. The look on the mans face enjoying his breakfast was enough of a blessing I needed. To know he came in hungry but did not have to leave that way.

Then Christmas day a family came in a women and 3 children. They were traveling and there car broke down and her husband ended up in a local hospital. They were many miles from home with very little money I was sure because they had been stranded 3 days already and with him in the hospital.

I took their order and went to my manager in the office and ask him to pick up half and I would pick up half. If he wouldn't I would do it all. He was such a teddy bear that he picked up the whole thing.

I had customers who would only sit in my section. But graveyards I could tell you stories that curled your hair.

girkdog, I think someone is watching over me also. The same one my screen name speaks of. We have had a hard 13 years but He has never left us or not met our needs.

Blessings,
Sandy ^8^

This message was edited Aug 24, 2005 12:09 AM